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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (July 4, 2003)
cry few things in my world neces sitate standing in a long line to “get the hest.” I tired of the Ticketmaster campout as a teen. I sit wherever I have to in a movie theater and shun those who yet there early for the center row. I’ve even discovered the heauty of the express DMV office, thank you very much. But those things have nothiny to do with my weddiny. In the wee hours of Jan. 2, I dragged my fiancee, Melissa, my sister and my brother out to a ritual most often reserved for heterosexual hriik-s- to-hc: securiny a Portland Parks site. A crowd of brides yather under the Portlandia statue each first business day of the new year to ensure their dream weddiny can take place in their dream location. Melissa and I had decided to yet married under a canopy of trees at the Hoyt Arh»return weddiny meadow. Since our July ceremony falls within prime weddiny time, however, we decid ed not to take any chances. Instead, we braved the cold and dreary mommy to guarantee we’d he married in the middle of the city, yet not within siyht of telephone poles or buildinys. The sexual division of labor in the weddiny game was apparent. Mostly women gathered in the lobby, some with pop-up chairs, pillows and gallons of coffee. Nervous chatter filled the air. "So, what’s your date?" we asked each other. “Um-hmm. And where?” But we were all really thinking, “I’ll take out your knees if you even breathe on my date!" It didn't take too long for our line mates to notice that Melissa and 1 weren’t your average brides-to-be. The biy-haired yal from Beaver- ton—the o.ne who had been there since 1 a.m.— looked quizzically at us and asked, "So, who is yet ting married?" As if she couldn’t tell while watch ing us share a bagel in prenuptial bliss. "We are!” Y O U I do 1 Soon after we set our 1VJ. cJate) I found myself diving into more than the traditional bride d i E W E And the damncilcst thing happened. The brides started to c u t. “Oh! CCongratulations!'’ The heterosexuals I know have said that a lot lately. Sure, some of them have questions like "Is it legal ?" and “Are your parents coming?" Logical questions. But not one straight person has said, ‘XTh, that s...interesting" or “You’re just doing it for the gifts, right?" No, the folks who’ve uttered those charming words have all been queer. Funny. lenty of stores sell bridal gear in Port land. Tres Fahu is near my neighbor- hotxl and has an ever-changing array of gowns ami dresses in the front window. One taffeta frock with flowers caught my attention, so I decided to go in and try it on. A word to the wise: There is no such thing as simply entering a bridal shop and trying on a dress. I learned the hard way. I was immediately approached by a petite smiles woman with a high voice and fluttering movements. W e’ll cull her Chelsea. “So, when are you getting married? How exciting!" I explained that I just wanted to try on the dress in the window anil move on. She had another plan in mind. "Your figure would look best in an empire waist dress! And you said you wanted ivory, right?" E . R - It was like buying a car, only she was more attentive. She pulled out gowns that cost more than I make in a month, most of them ready for an evening at the Oscars. I bargained her down to trying on just three, none of which was my dress in the win ~ IV dow, and that’s where things got scary. In a nonnal store, you go into the dressing room, strip down, try on the clothing, decide and go. Ha! Chelsea and 1 were going to get a lot closer than that. She asked my bra size and ran out to get a loaner bustier. Meanwhile, I stripped. (Note to self: Don’t wear black Bride-to-be Erin Sexton consults a local gay-owned socks whilst dress shopping.) bridal magazine, Portland Brûle and Qroom T hen Chelsea suddenly appeared in might Kxik like if the dress were my size. the dressing rixrni. Apparently, trying on Gixxl ’ol Chelsea! wedding dresses was going to be a group We stepped out of the fitting rixim into the activity. “Here, let me help you on with viewing area. There, perched with the other th at!” She held the dress up over my head brides-to-be, I stixxl atop a pedestal and tixik it and chirped, “Dive in!” all in. Me, a long white gown, fluorescent This is where I started to sweat. lights and a bunch of straight gals. See, bridal stores carry one of each dress in Hey, I’m getting married! j H one size. And th.it size isn’t my size. I had thought I’d be able to tug, wrestle and squirm Advertising Associate E rin SEXTON celebrates her my way into these expensive little gixxlies in wedding with Melissa Saylcr on July 12. private. But Chelsea was there to watch it all CongratuLitions can be sent to erin@justout.com. and clip the dress closed so I could sec what it Furniture Fetish? 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