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ADVICE
SPIRIT UALITY
Keshet Portland is a group fo r Jewish members of the
sexual mmonties com munity and their partners, spouses
Metro: Spirituality
and supporters M onthly social, rebgwus and cultural
A in tw o rth United Church of C hrist is a m ulti
Koinonia Catholic Community is a progressive,
racial, m ulticultural, open and affirm ing church. Sunday
small faith com munity that gathers weekly to celebrate
w orship is at 10 am; church school fo r children runs
con curre ntly (2941 NE Ainsworth St. 503-284-8767.
Euchanst at Bridgeport United Church o f Chnst. A wel
coming congregation. Catholic in tradition and Ecumenical
aucc&teleport com .) (7 /0 3 )
m membership (6 pm Sunday 621 NE 76th Ave
events (Davidor Laney 503 226-7079. ext I4 .)( 7/03)
Rev Wendy Joy W oodworth 503- 7 7 7 39 0 1.) (7 /0 3 )
Mfaveriy Heights Church (UC C) is open and
affirm ing w ith w orship, children's school and child
care. (10 am Sunday 3300 SE Woodward St.
503-238-1337 www wavedyuccorg.) (7 /0 3 )
Mfy'east Unitarian Universalist Congregation
is an open and liberal religious com m unity offenng mter-
generational services and religious education fo r chil
dren. It welcom es gay. lesbian, bi and trans members
Anawim Comm unity o f gay men m eets w eekly fo r
503-699-0473 www komonacommumtyorg.) (7 /03)
C hristian m editation and prayer (7 30 pm Thursday.
Longview United M othodist Church is w eicom
Unitarian U niversalist pnnciples (4 pm Sunday
503 281-0722.HT703)
ing and reconciling. (10 am Sunday 2851 30th Ave.
360 425-4927 ) ( 7 /0 3 )
3915 SE Steele St. 503-777-3704
www wyeast pnwd.uua org.) (7 /0 3 )
M etanoia Peace Community United
M ethod!ct Church is a "house church" that bnngs
Zion United Church of Christ an open and
503-656-7296 www atknsonchurch.com.) (7 /03)
Bible Abuse Recovery is a spm tual grow th group
gay and stra ight tog ethe r (Daily prayer 7 20 am.
trans and heterosexual people who w ish to w orship in
fo r healing gay. lesbian, bi and trans people hurt and
Sunday gathenng 5 pm. 2116 NE 18th Ave
503 2 8 1 3697 www tearsoup com/m etanoia ) (7 /0 3 )
a C hnst-centered. warm , canng. m u ltia ge/race/cu ltura l
Atkinson Memorial Church is a Unitarian Universalist
welcoming congregation in Oregon City. (710 Sixth St
abused by d isto rte d and m anipulative view s o f the
B ible (503-760-5791 btbierecovery@ yahoo com
w w w geooties.com /biblerecovery) (7 /0 3 )
M etropolitan Comm unity Church of Portland
9 and 11 am Sunday school fo r children is held during
nity o f progressive, po litica l people explonng and cele
the 11 am w orship service. (2400 NE Broadway
brating the C hnstian faith. W e are sexual m inonty and
503-281-8868 m fo&m ccportlandcom .)(7703)
straight, m ulticultural and m ultiracial, and our children
Portland Center for Spiritual Growth is a New
are valued m em bers. (10 30 am Sunday. 621 NE 76th
Thought, uplifting, refreshing and exciting place o f woe
Ave 5 03-2580992 w w w brtflgep orfu cc.org 7 (7 /0 3 )
sNp Becom e a m inister m our mmistena! program
Congregation Neveh Shalom, an open and pro
(10 am Sunday Call fo r location 503 777-0727.) ( 7/03)
gressive C onservative Jew ish synagogue, extends a
warm w elcom e to all sexual m ino rities Shabbat serv
Portland Church of Religious Science is a lib
eral, open, progressive N ew Thought com m unity wel
ices 8:15 pm Fnday and 9 am S aturday (2900 S W
com ing everyone to discove r the spint w ithin Change
Peaceful Lane 503-246 8831.) (7703)
your thinking, change your life 1 (10 am Sunday medita
Congregation P 'nai O r (Faces o f Ligh t) is a
tion. 10:30 am service and junior church. 6 30 pm
Wednesday prayer circle 3983 NE 112th Ave
503-261-0677.) (7103)
vibrant, egalitarian, Jew ish Renewal congregation in
P ortland M eets several tim es a m onth in vanous loca
N urtures spintual grow th and prom otes living by
affirm ing congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, bi.
faith com m unity (11 am Sunday 2025 NE 23rd Ave.,
Gresham. 503-665-8741.) (7 /0 3 )
holds ecum enical Sunday mommg w orship services at
Bridgeport United Church of C hrist is a com m u
tion s (PO Box 42187. Portland. OR 97242-0187.
Portland Radical Faeries m eet tw ice a m onth
503-248-4500 w w w pnaiorpdx org.) (7 /0 3 )
w ith po tlucks and circle s at the fu ll m oon and the new
Washington: Spirituality
Abundant Life Center is A New Thought
Com m unity fo r spintual awakening and transform ing
lives through love A safe place where children learn to
em body spintual pnnciples (10 am Sunday 10006 NE
Ninth Ave . Vancouver 360-573 2626.)( 7 /0 3 )
East Vancouver United M ethodist Church is
reconciling and w elcom ing. (10 am Sunday
5701 M acArthur Btvd 360-693-4761.
ourclarkcounty.colum bian.com /273/.) (7 /0 3 )
First Congregational Church U nited Church o f
C hrist, holds tw o Sunday services, traditional and
"le ss tra d itio n a l" in an open and affirm ing congrega
tion. (1220 NE 68th St . Vancouver 360-693-1476
vanucc@aol.com.) (7 /0 3 )
D ignity Portland m eets lo r M ass on Sundays
m oon O pen to all men seeking alternative spintual
(503-262-694 7 )(7 /0 3 )
grow th and com m unity C offe e hours sta rt 9 30 am
God's Holy Territory is a chansm atic, joy-fille d
w orship expenence in Vancouver w here everyone is
Eastrose Fellowship Unitarian Universalist. a w el
S aturdays at 3 Friends C offeehouse. 201 SE 12th
Ave. (503-235-0826 otterQ pcez com .) (7 /0 3 )
coming congregation, offers Sunday service and children's
religious education (10:30 am 1133 NE 181st Ave.,
S isterS p irit o ffe rs w om en's sp iritu a lity celebrations,
Gresham 503-665-2628 eastrose@teleport com ) (7 /03)
discussion groups, a drum m ing circle, w orkshops and
Faith United M ethodist Church is a w elcom ing
w elcom e (Suite 102, 3430 SE Belmont St. Mailing
com m unity o f C hnstians in Troutdale that values and
address: PO Box 9246. Portland. OR 97207.
503- 736-3297 sistersp& teleport co m ) (7 /0 3 )
classes Schedule o f events available A ll wom en are
encourages all people in finding a place o f belonging in
the fam ily o f G od Sunday w orship a t 1 0 1 5 am ; A dult
Education at 9 am; children and youth at 10 30 am.
S p irit C ird a is for lesbian, bi or trans women seeking a
W ednesday Prayers 6-6 30 pm . (27400 SE Stark St.
welcoming com munity in the Catholic church Meets every
503-661 -4520.) (7 /0 3 )
third Thursday in the St. Andrew N ativity School. (7 pm
806 NE Alberta St. btspmtcircle@yahoo com.) (T1073)
First Unitarian Church of Portland is an open and
affirming liberal religious community offenng a wide range
Southm inster Presbyterian Church is a chal
of programs to nurture spintual growth, community and
lengm g. sup portive com m unity that w elcom es all peo
ple. It is the firs t M ore Light Presbyterian C hurch m
social justice Sunday service 9 and 11 am (1011 SW 12th
Ave 503228-6389 www hrstuntananportlandorg ) (7/03)
First United M ethodist Church o f P ortland, a
welcom e gay. lesbian, bi. trans and straight. (1 1 am
Sunday service. Bible study 7 pm Thursdays, except
third Thursday 1500 NE 49th St 360-885 9461.
pastor@ godsholytem torycom .) (7 /0 3 )
M etropolitan Community Church of the
Gentle Shepherd in Vancouver w elcom es you
(10 30 am and 6 3 0 pm Sunday worship. 9 am Sunday
Bible study 2200 Broadway The Rev. Harriet
Barshofsky 360-695-1480.) t 7 /0 3 )
Michael Servetue Unitarian Universalist
Fellowship, a Welcoming Congregation, provides a home
for the liberal religwus spirit. (9 15 and I I am Sunday
4505 E 18th S t. Vancouver 360695-1891)( 7/03)
O regon. Sunday school and nursery care. (10 am
Sunday 12250 SW Denney Road. Beaverton
503 644-2073 staff&southm m com.) (7 /0 3 )
w elcom ing and reconciling congregation, believes no
W illamette Valley: Spirituality
First Congregational Church U nited C hurch o f
one is le ft out in G od's fam ily Sexual m inonty potlucks
S t Andrew Catholic Church invites all to join a
held m onthly. (10:30 am Sunday 1838 SW Jefferson
diverse faith community fo r prayer and fellowship (930 am
C hrist is an open and affirm ing congregation offenng
S t 503-228-3195 w w w fumcpdx org ) (7 /0 3 )
Sunday 806 NE Alberta St 503281 -4429) (7/03)
w orship and church school. C hild care provided and
Gay and Lesbian O utreach (G A LO ) o f S t Philip
S t. Jam es Lutheran Church a R econciled in
N en C atholic C hurch celebrates an affirm ing M ass fo l
C hnst congregation, w elcom es all people fo r tra dition
10 am worship 700 Manon St NE. Salem
503 363-3660.) (7 /0 3 )
low ed by a social (7 30 pm Fnday Paulist Center.
al. litu rg ica l w orship w here w e expenence G od's re c
2408 SE 16th Ave 503 231 4 9 5 5 ) (7703)
onciling love that sets all people free (9 and 11 am
Sunday 1315 SW Park Ave 503 227-2439 ) (7703)
Integrity is a group o f sexual m inonty Episcopalians
w heelchair accessible (9 am Sunday learning hour.
M om ingside United M ethodist Church is a
reconciling congregation w here everyone is welcom e
to participate in the fuH life o f the congregation. (8 30
and fnends Vanous locatio ns throughout O regon
S t. Stephen's Episcopal Church has been w el
(Bruce Mason 503 286-9111. brucepdxor@ attbi com
com ing all people since 1863 (12:10 pm Wednesday
w w w mtegntyusa org.) (7 /0 3 )
and 7.45 and 10 am Sunday Sunday school and child
care at 10 am. Southwest 13th Avenue at Clay Street
503 223-6424)17/03)
Sacred Souls honors all sacred paths, prom otes
peace and strive s to cre ate an environm ent that
Trinity United M ethodist Church is an open
the O regon S chool o f M assage (6 3 0 -8 pm Sunday
C hnstian com m unity w here faith and life inte rsect. A ll
440 Ferry St. SE. Salem w holhlthffaol com.
www sacredsouls org ) (7 /0 3 )
Interfaith S p iritu al C enter houses spintual direc
to rs from vanous w orid religious tra ditions, w ho are
available fo r guidance, classes and re tre a ts (Second
Floor. 3910 SE 11th Ave 503-233 2026. ext 3
w w w m terfaithspm tualcenler co m ) (7 /0 3 )
Y O U T H
school system s, w ith a focus on support fo r youth o f
color. (Des 503-228-3892 des@knfam4y.org .7 (7 /0 3 )
M etro: Youth
Outside In operates a d in ic
Flavors
exchange services that include those who Inject hor
fo r anyone who ca n 't qual
ify fo r the O regon Health Plan as w e l bs needle
a program o f M ultiQ uoer and B rother to
Brother, is a social support group for sexual m inority
youth o f color 24 and younger. M eets every other Sunday
fo r food and sociafong. Regular events and activities.
(Des 5032283892 or des@tmfamty org. Stephan
503-417-7991 or hey.8tephan@hotmal.com.) (7 /0 3 )
Gay, Lasbian and Straight Education
Network (GLSEN) figh ts to end anti-gay bias In
The
K -12 schools (12700 SW North Dakota St.,
Suite 180. 4129. Tigard. OR 97223 503-525-1177.
gisenPgtsenoregon org www.ghenonegon.org.) (7703)
MultfQueer
a program o f Love M akes a Family,
provides advocacy to sexual m ino rity youth O ffe rs
resources and support m the com m unity and the
and 11 am Sunday 3674 12th S t SE. Salem
503-364-5013.) (7103)
sup ports and prom otes in te rfa ith dialogue M eets at
in vite d 1 (10 30 am Sunday. 3915 SE Steele S t The
mones. Can provide transitional housing fo r youth 20
and younger as w e l as fo r those HfV+ and younger than
23 A lso plays host to VOICES (Voices o f IndMdual and
Com m unity Empowerment from the S treets), a self-
support group fo r queer youth Needs volunteers o f a l
mdnight Friday end Saturday. 2100 SE Belmont St
503-872-9664. TTY503-23l-9286www.smyrc.org)
Youth HIV/8TD Prevention Project provides
fun
and educational programs along w ith counaekng and te st
ing to queer youth in s friendy. relaxed environm ent
(503-872-9664)0/03)
Eastern Oregon: Youth
ages (10 a tn 6 pm Mondey-Fnday. 1132 SW 13th Ave
503535-3800. www outsidein.org.) (7 /0 3 )
V a n g u a rd Y o u th S o rv fc u s . a program o f Cascade
Behavioral H ealthcare, offers support and recreation to
offers support and advocacy to gsy. lesbian, bi. trans and
questioning youth «1 Eastern Oregon (541-8893119.
eoc4@eoc4.org. www.eoc4.org.H7/03)
gay. lesbian, bi and trans kids 23 and younger Programs
include: C te c k a m M C o u n ty S o s u o l M i n o rity
Y o u th C o n n e c tio n (C O S M Y O provides opportuni
ties for queer and questioning kids to get together fo r
Washington: Youth
free, fun and supportive social actMbes. Also
Triple Pohrt o ffe rs
one-on-one support and referrals to
to gey. lesbian, bi. trans and questioning youth in
Clackamas County service providers.
(503-9690060 coemycyouth@yahoo.com )
Vancouver. W a d i M eets 6-8 pm Tuesdays »1 the
basem ent o f Youth House. 1112 Colum bia S i In
E x p re s s io n 13 a free art/expression support
Vancouver. (John 360695 1325.) (7 /0 3 )
education, support and advocacy
group in Gresham fo r queer youth. Hang out
and have fun every Fnday! (Jonathan
503872-9664. ext 2 8 ) P rid e P ro te c t
bnngs together W ashington County queer
and questioning youth to plan and attend
m onthly sooth events Also information, refer
ral and advocacy services m W ashington
Micheoi “Misha" Kennedy's Spring FoMy hi at
Scandal's O thar Side Café through May 31
Willamette Valley: Youth
Gsy« Liih lin, Bi, TVmifpfMltf and
Questioning Youth Group fo r ages 13 to
18
offers support. Inform ation and fun in Eugene Free,
C ounty (M oty 503260-5792 molyOpride-
prefect o rg ) S e x u a l M in o rity Y o u th
confident«!. aduK facilitated. (Drop » 1 4-6 pm FnJgy
R e c re a tio n C e n te r (S M Y R Q offers
Ammon Community Center. 2700 H4yerd St
drop-in com puter access p o d tables and an
5 4 1 -684-3466) (7 /0 3 )
inform al place to hang out W eekly youth sup
I L ***-
B I » i l a n n
port groups «dudes Trans Youth Group and
Personal Deity Proxy (a creative group).
Group fo r ages
(4-8 pm Monday and Wednesday, 4 pm-
..................... ▼ ......................
. f v ^ M M j s 1 o i M
iu B i,
I r v n v fp n n v r
Veoeshte
T O U in
25 and younger m eets every M onday
in Eugene (5 pm Komoms Center. 1414 K jn cn d S t
541 346-1134.H7/Q3)
Who's the pinhead?
Ugly babies and single men
need love, too
D ear M s .
B ehavior :
I have a terri
ble etiquette
dilemma. Two
good friends of
mine, a lesbian
couple, are about
to adopt a baby
from another
country. We all
threw a shower
for them, even
though in my
culture we’re too
superstitious to do
such a thing
before the baby
has arrived
(kennehara).
The dilemma
is this: Their baby is really, really ugly.
It is wrinkly and sweats a lot and
appears somewhat retarded with a
pinhead. Obviously, we can only tell
this from pictures, but 1 can’t believe
they haven’t noticed it!
How can I gracefully tell my
friends they need to trade this baby
in for a normal one NOW, before it
is too late? No one would blame
them for it; in fact, no one need
even know.
Isn’t the point of spending tens of
thousands of dollars on a baby to
have the option to choose one who’s
not too ugly or weird? I don’t want
to appear insensi
tive, but 1 want to
tell them before it’s
too late!
My girlfriend
says I’m a politically
incorrect, glandist
bigot, and she does
n’t want to be seen
with me. She says
every baby is beau
tiful, no matter
what. I say, why
have an ugly kid if
you can help it? Ms
Behavior, who’s right?
— Freakish
wrinkly, sweaty
creature and
don’t care if her
face may stop the
birds from chirp
ing or the sun
from shining,
why not leave
them to their
pleasure?
D ear M s .
B ehavior :
I am what
seems to be an
oddity in the gay
community: I
am in my late
30s and still sin
gle. T his is
because I am
still not able to devote myself 100
percent to one person and because
Mr. Right has not come along yet
(though not from not looking!).
The problem is that the majority
of my friends are in relationships
and seem to have drawn a close cir
cle around themselves. I constantly
hear about plans that people are
making with this couple or hear of
events that were shared by that
couple. I don’t want to be presump
tuous, hut I am always tempted to
say, “Why wasn’t I invited ?”
T his happens with both individ
ual couples and groups. It feels as if
my friends are
forming a couples-
only club, and I am
not invited. What
can I do besides
finding a beau
A SA P? -
— Ed
How can I
gracefully tell
m y friends they
need to trade
this baby In for
a norm al one
NOW, before It
Is too late?
D ear F reakish :
If you’re concerned that the baby
is actually unhealthy and that your
friends won’t notice, you can mention
this to them. Some doctors specialize
in analyzing photographs of infants
and are fairly accurate at assessing
physical or developmental problems.
But it sounds like you’re probably
talking about a mere lack of beauty,
and your friends would probably not
he deterred in either case. Perhaps
they’re kinder or more spiritually
evolved than you are.
Your girlfriend is all wrong or too
P.C. to face facts; some babies are
ugly. (Although they may eventually
grow past their ugly stage and
become lovely toddlers, there are no
guarantees.)
But ugly babies need love, too.
And if your friends already love this
•
D ear E d :
Try inviting
some of your cou
pled friends to your
house for dinner or
to attend events
with you. It’s true that single people
often don’t make it onto the radar
screen of their happily coupled friends,
so extending invitations to them may
remind them of your existence.
The fact that you don’t have a
boyfriend may he threatening to
other couples who perceive you as
attractive. So it may help to let
them know that you’d like to find a
boyfriend or even to enlist their help
in meeting new people. This will
help take their attention away from
the potential worry that you’re a
home wrecker.
jn
© Meryl Cohn 2003
M eryl C ohn is the author of Do
What I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to
Gay and Lesbian Etiquette
(Houghton M ifflm ). Signed copies are
available directly from the author. Send
questions or correspondence to
msbehavior@aol.com.