may 2. 2003
A D V IC E
SPIRIT UALITY
Metro: Spirituality
w w w m terfaithspintualcenter c o m ) (7 /0 3 )
Keshet Portland is a group fo r Jewish members o f the
sexual m inorities community and their partners, spouses
and supporters. M onthly social. religKXis and cultural
A insw orth United Church o f C h rist is a m ulti
events (D avidorLaney 50 3228 707 9. ext 14 .) (7 /03)
racial, m ulticultural, open and affirm ing church Sunday
w orship is at tO am; church school fo r children runs
Koinonia Catholic Community is a progressive,
concurrently. (2941 NE A insw orth S t 503-284 8267.
small faith com munity that gathers weekly to celebrate
Euchanst at Bridgeport United Church o f C hrist. A wel
au cc& te le port c o rn .) (7 /0 3 )
coming congregation. Catholic in tradition and Ecumenical
Answim Com m unity o f gay men m eets w eekly fo r
m membership (6 pm Sunday 621 NE 76th Ave
C hnstian m editation and prayer. (7 3 0 p in Thursday
5 0 3699 047 3. w w w kcxnonacotnm untyorg.)(V 03)
5 0 3 -2 8 1 -0 7 2 2 ) (7 /0 3 )
M etanoia Peace Com m unity U nited
M ethodist C hurch is a ‘ house c h u rc h ' that bnngs
Atkinson Memorial Church is a U ntarían Umversakst
welcoming congregation m Oregon City. (710 Sixth S t
gay and stra ig ht tog ethe r (D aily prayer 7.20 am.
503-656-7296 www atkxisonchurch com .) (T /03)
Sunday gathenng 5 pm . 2116 N E 18th A ve
5 0 3 -2 8 1 36 97 w w w tearsoup co m /m e ta n o ia ) (7 /0 3 )
Bible Abuse Recovery is a spm tual grow th group
fo r healing gay. lesbian, bi and trans people hurt and
M etropolitan Com m unity C hurch o f Portland
abused by d isto rte d and m anipulative view s o f the
holds ecum enical Sunday m orning w orship services at
Bible. (503-760-5791. biblerecovery@ yahoocom .
9 and 11 am Sunday school fo r children is held dunng
w w w geocities c o m /b é le re c o v e ry ) (7 /0 3 )
the 11 am w orship service. (2 400 N E B roadw ay
affirm ing w ith w orship, children's school and child
care (1 0 am Sunday 33 00 SE W oodward S t
503-238-1337. w w w w averiyucc o rg .) (7 /0 3 )
m tergenerational services and religious education fo r
children It w elcom es gay. lesbian, bi and trans mem
Umtanan U m versalist pnnciples. (4 pm Sunday
3915 SE S teele S t. 503-777-3704
w w w w y e a s tp n w d u u a o rg .) (7 /0 3 )
Zion U nited Church o f C hrist. an open and
affirm ing congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, bi.
trans and heterosexual people who w ish to w o rsh p in
a C hrist-centered, warm , caring, m u ltiag e/ra ce/cultural
faith com m unity (11 am Sunday 2025 NE 2 3 rd A ve..
G resham 503-665 87 41.) (7 /0 3 )
Washington: Spirituality
503 281-8868 m fo@ m ccportland com .) (7 /0 3 )
Portland C enter fo r S piritual Growth is a New
Abundant Ufa Cantor is A New Thought
brating the C hnstian faith. W e are sexual mm onty and
Thought, uplifting, refreshing and exciting place o f wor-
Com m unity fo r spmtual awakening and transform ing
straight, m ulticultural and m ultiracial, and our children
sNp Becom e a m inister in our mimstenal program
lives through love. A safe place where children team to
are valued members. (1 0.30 am Sunday 621 NE 76th
(10 am Sunday C a l fo r location. 503- 777-0727.) (7 /0 3 )
em body spmtual pnnciples. (10 am Sunday 10006 NE
N inth Ave.. Vancouver 360-573-2626.) (7 /0 3 )
C ongregation Neveh Shalom an open and pro
eral, open, progressive N ew Thought com m unity w el
East Vancouver U nited M ethodist Church is
gressive C onservative Jew ish synagogue, extends a
com ing everyone to discover the spint w ithin Change
reconciling and w elcom ing. (1 0 am Sunday
warm w elcom e to all sexual m inorities. Shabbat serv
your thinking, change your life 1 (1 0 am Sunday m edita
5701 M acA rthur B fvd 360-693-4761
ices 8:15 pm Fnday and 9 am Saturday. (2900 S W
tion. 10:30 am service and ju n io r church. 6 30 pm
o u rclarkcou ntycolum bian.co m /27 3/.) (7 /0 3 )
Peaceful Lane 503-246-8831.) (7 /0 3 )
W ednesday prayer circle. 3983 N E 112th A ve
C ongregation P 'nai O r (Faces o f Light) is a
503-26 1-0 677 .) (7 /0 3 )
F irst Congregational C hurch U nited C hurch o f
C hrist, holds tw o Sunday services, traditional and
P ortland Radical Faeries m eet tw ice a m onth
‘ less tra ditio nal" in an open and affirm ing congrega
P ortland M eets several tim es a m onth in vanous loca
w ith po tlu cks and circles at the full m oon and the new
tion. (1220 NE 68th S t.. Vancouver 36 0693 -14 76.
tions. (PO Box 42187. P ortland. OR 9 7 2 4 2 0 1 8 7
m oon. O pen to all men seeking alternative spm tual
vanucc@ aol.com.) (7 /0 3 )
) ( 7 /0 3 )
grow th and com m unity. C offe e hours s ta rt 9:30 am
D ignity P ortland m eets fo r M ass on Sundays
Saturdays at 3 Fnends C offeehouse. 201 SE 12th
(5 03-2 6 2 -6 9 4 7 )( 7 /0 3 )
Ave. (503-235-0826 otter@ pcez.com .) (7 /0 3 )
Eastrose Fellowship Unitarian U niversalis! a w el
S is te rS p irit o ffe rs w om en's spm tuality celebrations,
God's Holy Territory is a chansm atic. joy filled
w o rsh p expenence in Vancouver w here everyone is
w elcom e: gay, lesbian, bi. trans and straight ( I I am
Sunday service Bible study 7 pm Thursdays, except
discussion groups, a drum m ing circle, w orkshops and
th ird Thursday 1500 NE 49th S t 360 885-9461.
religious education. (10 30 am. II3 3 N E 181st Ave..
classes S chedule o f events available A ll wom en are
pastor@ godsholyterritory.com .) (7 /0 3 )
Gresham. 503-6652628 eastrose@ teleport.com .) (7 /03)
w elcom e (S uite 102. 3430 SE B elm ont S t. M ailing
coming congregation, offers Sunday service and children's
address: PO B ox 9246. Portland. O R 97207
Faith U nited M ethodist C hurch is a w elcom ing
com m unity o f C hnstians in Troutdale that values and
503-736-3297. sistersp @ telepo rt.com ) (7 /0 3 )
M etropolitan Com m unity Church o f the
Gentle Shepherd in Vancouver w elcom es you.
(1 0 3 0 am and 6 3 0 pm Sunday w orship. 9 am Sunday
encourages all people in finding a place o f belonging in
S pirit C hda is fo r lesbian, bi or trans women seeking a
the fam ily o f G od. Sunday w orship at 10:15 am; A dult
welcoming com munity m the Catholic church. M eets every
Education at 9 am; children and youth at 10:30 am.
third Thursday in the St. Andrew N ativity School. (7 pm.
W ednesday Prayers 6-6 30 pm (27400 SE S tark S t.
806 NE Alberta S t btspmtcircle@ yahoo com .) (7 /03)
Michael Servetus Unitarian UnlverssHit
Fellowship a Welcoming Congregation, provides a home
B ible stud y 2200 B roadw ay The Rev. H arriet
B arshofsky 3 6 0-69 5-1 480 ) (7 /0 3 )
503-661 -4520. ) (7 /0 3 )
S outhm inator P resbyterian C hurch is a chal
for the liberal religious spirit. (9 1 5 and 11 am Sunday
First Unitarian Church of Portland is an open and
lenging, supportive com m unity that w elcom es all peo
4505 E IB th S t. Vancouver 360695-1891 ) (7/03)
affirming liberal religious community offenng a wide range
ple. It is the firs t M ore Light P resbyterian C hurch in
of programs to nurture spmtual growth, community and
social justice Sunday service 9 and 11 am (1011 SW 12th
Ave. 503-228-6389 www hrstuntananportland org ) (7/03)
O regon Sunday school and nursery care. (1 0 am
Sunday 12250 S W D enney Road. Beaverton
503-644 2073 staff@ southm m com .) (7 /0 3 )
St. Andrew Catholic Church invites all to jom a
Willamette Valley: Spirituality
F irst U nited M ethodist C hurch o f P ortland, a
w elcom ing and reconciling congregation, believes no
diverse faith community lor prayer and fellow shp (9 30 am
F irst C ongregational Church. U nited Church o f
C hnst is an open and affirm ing congregation offenng
one is le ft out in G od's fam ily. Sexual m inonty potlucks
Sunday 806 NE Alberta S t 503-281-4429 )0 /0 3 )
w o rsh p and church school. C hild care provided and
held m onthly. (1 0 :3 0 am Sunday. 1838 S W Je ffe rso n
S t. James Lutheran Church a R econciled in
w heelchair accessible. (9 am Sunday learning hour,
S t. 503 228-3195 w w w fum cpdx.org )(7 /0 3 )
C hnst congregation, w elcom es all people fo r tra d itio n
Gay and Lesbian O utreach (GALO) o f S t. Philip
al. litu rgical w orship w here we experience G od's re c
Nen C atholic C hurch celebrates an affirm ing M ass fo l
onciling love that sets all people free. (9 and 11 am
10 am w orship 700 M anon S t. NE. Salem
503-363 3 6 6 0 )( 7 /0 3 )
M om ingside United M ethodist Church is a
Sunday 1315 S W Park A ve 503 22 7-24 39.) ( 7 /0 3 )
reconciling congregation w here everyone is welcom e
2408 SE 16th A ve 503-231-4955 ) 0 /0 3 )
St. Stephen's Episcopal C hurch has been wel-
In te g rity is a group o f sexual m m onty Episcopalians
com ing all people since 1863 (1 2:10 pm W ednesday
to participate in the full life o f the congregation (8 3 0
and I I am Sunday 3674 12th S t SE. Salem
low ed by a social. (7 3 0 pm Fnday. P aulist C enter.
and fnends Vanous locations throughout O regon
and 7 4 5 and 10 am Sunday Sunday school and child
(B ruce M ason 5 0 3 2 8 6 9 1 1 1 brucepdxor@ attbi com
w w w m tegntyusa o rg .) (7 /0 3 )
care a t 10 am S outhw est 13th A venue a t C lay S tree t
503 223 6 4 2 4 )( 7 /0 3 )
In te rfa ith S p iritu a l C enter houses spm tual d ire c
to rs from vanous w odd religious tra ditio ns, w ho are
available fo r guidance, classes and re tre a ts (S econd
Floor. 3910 SE 11th A ve 503-233 2026. ext 3
YOUTH
T rinity U nited M ethodist C hurch is an open
C hnstian com m unity w here faith and life in te rse ct A ll
invited! (1 0 :3 0 am Sunday. 3915 SE S teele S t. The
Monday and Wednesday. 4 pm-mkinght Fnday and
Saturday. 2100 SE Belmont St. 503872-9664. TTY
503-231-9286 www amyrc.org.) (7 /0 3 )
Flavors, a program o f M ultiQ ueer and Brother to
and younger as w e l as fo r those HIV+ and younger than
Brother, is a social suppoit group fo r sexual m inority
23. A lso plays host to VOICES (Voices o f IndMdual and
C om m unity Empowerment from the S treets), a self
(Des 503-228-3892ordes@ tm fam fy.org Stephan
mones Can provide transitional housing fo r youth 20
support group fo r queer youth. Needs volunteers o f 8
503-535-3800 www.outsrdein org.) 0 /0 /3 )
Gay, Lesbian and S traight Education
N etw ork (GLSEN) fights to end anti-gay bias m K-12
Vanguard Youth Ssrvicas. a program o f Cascadia
schools (12700 S W N orth D akota S t.. S uite 180.
*129. Tigard OR 97223. 5 0 3525 -11 77
glsen@ gl$enoregon org w w w gtsenonegon.org) (7 /0 3 )
Behavioral HealthCare, o ffers support and recreation to
gay. lesbian, bi and trans kids 23 and younger. Programs
CtackmuM County Sexual M inority
Youth Connection (COSMYO provides opportuni
include
ties fo r queer and questioning kids to get together fo r
M ultiQ ueer a program o f Love M akes a Family,
free, fun and supportive social activities A lso one-on-
provides advocacy to sexual m inonty youth O ffe rs
resources and support m th e com m unity and th e
one support and referrals to Clackamas C ounty sendee
providers (503-969-0060. cosm ycyouth@ yahoo.com )
school system s, w ith a focus on support fo r youth o f
co lo r
(Des 503-22 8-3 892 des@tmfam*y o rg .)(V 0 3 )
Youth HIV/8TD Prevention Project provides
fun and educational program s along w ith counseling
and testing to queer youth in a fnendy, relaxed envi
ronm ent
(503872-9664)( 7 /0 3 )
ages (1 0 am -6 pm M ondayFnday 1132 S W 13th Ave
503-417-7991 o r hey_stephan@ botmail.com.) (7 /03)
The
sup ports and prom otes in te rfa ith dialogue M e ets at
the O regon S chool o f M assage. (6 3 0 8 pm S unday
44 0 F e rry S t. SE. Salem w holhlth@ aol com
O utside In operates a clinic fo r anyone who ca n 't qual
exchange services that include those who inject hor
fo r food and socializing. Regular events and activities.
Sacred S ouls honors all sacred paths, prom otes
peace and strive s to cre ate an environm ent that
w w w sacredsouls o r g ) (7 /0 3 )
Metro: Youth
youth o f color 24 and younger M eets every other Sunday
503-364-5013.) (7 /0 3 )
Rev W endy J o y W oodw orth 50 3-7 7 7 -3 9 0 1 ) (7 /0 3 )
ify fo r the O regon Health Plan as w e l as needle
Eap re e eio n is a free art/expression support group in
Gresham for queer youth tin g out
and have fun every Friday* (Jonathan
503872-9664. ext. 28 ) (7/03)
Eastern Oregon: Youth
Enrin 11 Oregon L v itrr (or IxrirjMnrirflt
Living o ffers support and advocacy to gay. teabten. bi.
trans and questioning youth in Eastern O regon.
(541889-3119. eocH@eoc4org www.eodtorg) (7 /0 3 )
j
Washington: Youth
Triple Point o ffers
education, support and advocacy
to gay, lesbian, bi. trans and questioning youth In
Vancouver, W ash M eets 6-8 pm Tuesday« in the
basem ent o f Youth House, 1112 C okim bie S t. In
P rid e P ro je c t brings together
Vancouver.
(John 3 6 0 6 9 5 - 1325.) (7 /0 3 )
W ashington County queer and
questioning youth to plan and attend
monthly social events Also informa
tion. referral and advocacy services
In Washington County.
(M oty 503-260-5792.
m ctyO phdaproiect o rg ) (7 /03)
»-
. ^
Y O U t v i
m
Canter (8MYRO
o ffe rs drop-in com puter access,
pool tables and an Inform al place
to hang o u t W eekly youth s u p
p o rt groups indudes Trans Youth
G roup and Personal D eity Prosy
(a creative group). (4 8 pm
Willamette Valley: Youth
Gey, Lesbian, BI, Tranegendar and
Questioning Youth Group fo r ages 13 to
offer« s u p p o rt « fo rm a tio n and fun in
18
Eugene Free,
(Drop m 48 pm Friday.
Amazon Communty Center. 2700 Htyard St
541884-3406.) (7 /0 3 )
confidential, a d ri facD teted
Laabian, Guy, » laaaaal. Tnawagewder Youth
Group for ages 25 and younger meets every Monday
in Eugene. (5pm Koinonia Center. !4l4Km cexlSt
541846-1134 m m
D ear M s . B ehavior :
forms of address and
I have a new friend
gave no consideration
I’ll call Pamela. I’ve
to which name should
gotten to know her
precede the other. The
through a book group
example you offered,
and was thrilled to
of “stacked” names
find a new sane friend.
sans courtesy titles,
She is smart, fun and
showed all the
easy to talk to; she’s
thoughtful considera
exactly the kind of
tion o f a spreadsheet
friend I’ve wanted.
program.
The problem is that
I hasten to offer
she has a very posses
the correct etiquette
sive girlfriend, Trudy,
for both matters,
by Meryl Cohn
who makes jealous
which circumvents
comments and seems
that entire surname
threatened by Pamela’s friendships
hyphenation business entirely. W hen
with other women. Trudy also inter
addressing two gentlemen who con
cepts her phone messages. I’ve called a
sider themselves coupled, their names
few times to offer Pamela a ride to the
should be preceded with the courtesy
book group or to invite the two of
title of “Messrs.,” which is the abbre
viation o f the French word
them to dinner, and Trudy is invariably
the one who returns my calls. She
“Messieurs,” which roughly translates
chats with me and says Pamela is out
as “Misters.”
or busy. But then when I see Pamela,
Similarly, two ladies who consider
she doesn’t seem to know I’ve called.
themselves coupled are properly
I don’t think this strange behavior
addressed with the courtesy title of
is specific to me; other mutual friends
“Mme.,” the abbreviation of the
have commented on it. I’ve considered
French word “Mesdames,” which of
mentioning it to Pamela— this is a rel
course translates as “Madams” (without
atively new relationship for her, so I’m
the nefarious English connotation).
not sure she knows— hut I’m not sure
In both instances, an ampersand
if bringing it up would harm our fledg
conjoins the partners’ names. To wit:
ling friendship. What do you think?
— Freaked Out by the Girlfriend
Messrs. John Sm ith &. Jack Jones
Mme. Jane Sm ith & Jacqueline
D ear F reaked O u t by the G irlfriend : Jones
If Pamela hasn’t realized that
Trudy is a possessive freak, she’s sure
As for which name should precede
to notice it soon. T he line between
the other, I have found the following rule
noticing someone’s jealous behavior
of thumb to be convenient and agree
and feeling like it’s unbearably oppres
able. If I made the acquaintance of one
sive can sometimes be very thin.
person before he or she met the future
Then the urge to pack one’s car and
partner, that name precedes. If I met the
head for the highway comes on like a
couple after they were already partnered,
case of Montezuma’s revenge.
the name of the elder precedes.
If you hope for a close friendship
I hope you find this information
with Pamela, it’s probably better if you’re
useful.
not the first to mention Trudy’s behav
— Monsieur Manners
ior. Pamela may mistakenly perceive
your intentions as divisive, particularly if
D ear M onsieur M a n n er s .-
her relationship with Trudy is already
You are a pompous etiquette night
shaky. And Pamela will more likely con
mare. Ms. Behavior actually said that
fide about relationship troubles that arise
hyphenation should only he inflicted
if she doesn’t also have to sort out her
on people who have made that choice
feelings about you having brought
and should only he considered by cou
Trudy’s possessiveness to her attention.
ples whose names sound good together.
Unfounded jealousy is deadly to a
Also, what sort of pretentiousness
relationship because it makes at least
would inspire you to use a French word
one party feel constrained about partici
as a title on an American envelope?
pating in life’s pleasures (like having a
Ms. Behavior did respond to the
new hook group or new friendships).
question of which name should precede
Eventually, if their relationship is going
the other and still believes her rule of
to survive, Pamela is going to have to
including the sexual top’s name first is
tell Trudy to bug off, one way or anoth
superior; your notion of using the elder
er. So, if you hang in there at a patient
person’s name first is sure to irritate
distance, you’ll probably ultimately he
more than a few sensitive homosexuals.
able to have a closer friendship with her.
Merci, mon petit turd. JT1
M s . Behavior
vibrant, egalitanan, Jew ish Renewal congregation in
503-248-4500 w w w pnaiorpdx org
Pomposity—it’s the eighth deadly sin
bers N urtures spm tual grow th and prom otes living by
nity o f progressive, political people explonng and cele
P ortland C hurch o f R eligious Science is a lib
Freaks and geeks
W y'east U nitarian U nhreraalist C ongregation
is an open and liberal religious com m unity offenng
B ridgeport United Church o f C hrist is a com m u
Ave. 50 3 2 5 8 -0 9 9 2 w w w .bndgeportucc org )(7 /0 3 )
.............v .............
Mfaveriy Haights Church (U C O is open and
D ear M s . B ehavior :
“Confused” recently asked you about
the proper way to address correspon
dence to gay couples, inquiring whether
one or both surnames should be used.
I was disheartened to see that your
reply focused on the merits of sur
name hyphenation rather than proper
© Meryl C ohn 2003
M eryl C ohn is the author of Do What I
Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay and
Lesbian Etiquette (H ouston Mifftm).
Signed copies are available directly from the
author. Send questions or correspondence to
m shehaM or@ adi.cam .
37