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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (March 21, 2003)
march 21.2003 » Just out 45 B oat T rip <C& Imagine the pitch: “OK, so we’ve got these two straight guys, picture Cuba Gooding Jr. and chubby Saturday Night Live-r Horatio Sanz, both homy as hell, and they mistakenly get booked on a gay cruise ship crawling with homosexuals! C an you picture it? Cuba’s after one of the few females, a hot dance instructor, but she likes gay guys, so he acts like a homo to get her in bed! Then— this’ll kill ya— the fat dude gets drunk and thinks he slept with one of the gay guys! Hys- terical! Then we throw in Roger Moore as an old poof, some giant penis ice sculptures, Cuba’s butt exposed all over the place, a Span ish drag queen who explains how nice homos can be once you get to know them, and some near-misses with the boys this close to getting blown or butt-fucked— watch that ass! Didja ever hear such an idea? Straight guys trapped on a queer cruise ship— think about it! T he audience will die!” — Gary M orris D ead or A live : F inal T he idea of an evil old queen running the world is certainly attractive, but the one in this languid takeoff on Blade Runner is just too evil— outlawing heterosexuals, stealing their babies and, in his leisure time, humping a statuesque, naked, mute teen-age boy who plays the saxo phone. Director Takeshi Miike is known for his insanely weird imagination, but this film, shot on digital video and blown up to 35 millimeter, mostly meanders through a future (the 24th century) that’s more tedious than terrifying. — GM bunch of rather unlikable young women starting a band is a waste of time. Dull, un explored characters; terrible acting; un inspiring music. There’s some lesbian action, though, with cute girls, and Motorhead’s Lemmy Kilmister plays a hilarious minor character. In fact, if you’re a Kilmister fan, it’s worth seeing the movie. — Lisa Bradshaw <^ > dud, bottom of the bag <C^> <&> only if you’re really hungry good effort, pass the salt < £ i T he H unted mmmm, tasty! <^2> D own and O ut with the D olls Down and out is right. With the slight excep tion of the fun of pegging Portland neighborhoods and hot spots (Fellini, Discourage, skate park), this latest film by Kurt Voss (Sugar Town) about a <^> B ringing D own the H ouse W hat a shame Queen Latifah follows her Oscar-nominated turn in C hicago by portray ing a convict who Uxisens up a white lawyer (Steve M artin) while he tries to clear her record. Meanwhile, she has to deal with his filthy colleague (Eugene Levy), racist neigh bor (Betty W h ite) and conservative client (Joan Plowright, who gets stoned in one of the film’s few amusing moments). — Jim R adosta This solid actioner from suspense master William Friedkin (The French Connection) features an unhinged supersoldier (Benicio Del Toro) on a killing spree, pursued by his aging ex-mentor (Tommy Lee Jones). Known as the movie that broke Benicio’s wrist— no word on whether it became permanently limp as a result— The Hunted's best performance is by Portland, which provides gorgeous backdrops from Mount H(xxJ to various other htxxJs to downtown for a dynamite chase sequence. Can a city win an Oscar? — GM ¿S'* R ussian A rk Director Alexander Sokurov takes us on a dreamy journey through Russian history, art and the spirit of a long-buried empire’s tragic, resilient ill <g> <&> 8et big tub o ’ com people. Moving fluidly through time and space to an elegiac conclusion, Russian Ark was, with its huge cast and constantly mobile camera, shot in one single, amazing 90-minute take. — C hristopher McQuain T he S afety of O bjects Queer viewers will be tempted to read the lat est from dyke director Rose Troche (Go Fish, Bed- rooms and Hallways) as a cautionary tale about the horrors of heterosexuality. Such a parade of bitter suburban families and their godawful lives you’ve never seen. Still, the film’s episodic style, mostly solid acting and some edgy touches— a boy in love with a doll and a disturbing quasi-molester angle— keep it consis tently watchable, even when it’s sliding into bathos. — GM All vegetarian. All Ihe lime. T HE P U R P L E P ARL OR I TT 3560 N Mississippi (at Fremont) 730a-2:30p Tue-Fn, 8a-3p Sat-Sun 503-281-3560 wwwpurpleparlor.com a misstssippt avenue café maaimmiismmamwiMssm; N o U i C o U i Q ueer N am e, G reat Food! 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