Just out., March 21, 2003, Page 35, Image 35

ADVICE
SPIRITUALI T Y
Metro: Spirituality
▼
third Thursday m the S t Andrew N ativity School. (7 pm
YOUTH
806 NE Alberta S t fotspintcircle&yahoo com ) (7 /03)
Southm inster P resbyterian Church is a chal­
lenging, supportive com m unity that w elcom es all peo­
Metro: Youth
A insw orth U nited C hurch o f C h rist is a m ulti
ple It is the firs t M ore Light Presbytenan C hurch in
Flavors a program o f M ultiQ ueer and B roth er to
racial, m ulticultural, open and affirm ing church Sunday
O regon Sunday school and nursery care (1 0 am
B rother, is a social support group fo r sexual m inonty
w orship is at 10 am; church school fo r children runs
Sunday. 12250 S W D enney Road. Beaverton
youth o f co lo r 24 and younger M eets every other
concurrently (294 f NE A in sw orth S t. 503-284-8767.
503-644-2073. staffQ southm m .com ) (7 /0 3 )
Sunday fo r food and socializing Regular events and
S t Andrew Catholic Church invites all to join a
activitie s (D es 503-228-3892 o r desQ lm fam ily org
a u ccd te le p o rt com .) (7 /0 3 )
Anawim Com m unity o f gay men m eets w eekly fo r
C hnstian m editation and prayer (7 3 0 pm Thursday
50 3-281-0722.) (1 /0 3 )
diverse faith community fo r prayer and fellowship (9 30 am
Sunday 806 NE Alberta St. 503-281 4429 ) (7 /03)
S t. James Lutheran Church, a R econciled in
Atkinson Memorial Church is a Unitarian Universalist
C hnst congregation, w elcom es all people fo r tra d itio n ­
welcoming congregation in Oregon City. (710 Sixth S t
al, litu rgical w orship w here w e experience G od's re c­
503-656-72% www atknsonchurch com ) \ l 103)
onciling love that se ts all people fre e (9 and 11 am
Bible Abuse Recovery is a spintual grow th group
Sunday 1315 S W Park A ve 50 3-227-2439 ) (7 /0 3 )
fo r healing gay. lesbian, bi and trans people hurt and
S t. Stephen's Episcopal C hurch has been w el­
abused by d isto rte d and m anipulative view s o f the
Bible (503-760-5791 biblerecoveryQ yahoocom .
com ing all people since 1863 (1 2 10 pm W ednesday
w w w geocities c o m /b ib le re c o v e ry) (7 /0 3 )
care a t 10 am S outhw est 13th Avenue a t C lay S tre e t
503 223-6424 ) (7 /0 3 )
B ridgeport United Church o f C hrist is a com m u­
and 7 45 and 10 am Sunday Sunday scho ol and child
nity o f progressive, political people explonng and cele­
T rinity U nited M ethodist Church is an open
brating the C hnstian faith W e are sexual m inonty and
C hnstian com m unity w here faith and life in te rse ct A ll
straight, m ulticultural and m ultiracial, and our children
invited! (10 3 0 am Sunday 3915 SE S teele S t. The
are valued m em bers. (1 0 3 0 am Sunday. 621 N E 76th
R ev W endy J o y W oodw orth 5 0 3 -7 7 7 -3 9 0 1 ) (7 /0 3 )
A ve 5 0 3258 -09 92 w w w b rid g e p o rtu cco rg .) (7 /0 3 )
Stephan 5 0 3 -4 17- 7991 o r hey_ stephanQ hotm ail c o m )
Gay, Lasbian and S tra ig h t Education
N etw ork (GLSEN) fig h ts to end anti-gay bias in
The
K -12 schools. (1 2 7 0 0 S W N orth D akota S t..
S u ite 180. »129. Tigard. O R 97223. 503-525 1177.
glsenQ glsenoregon o rg w w w glsenoregon o rg )
(7 /0 3 )
M u ltiQ u a sr. a progra m o f Love M a kes a Fam ily,
p ro vid e s a d vocacy to sexual m in o n ty yo u th . O ffe rs
re so u rce s and su p p o rt in th e com m u n ity and th e
sch o o l syste m s, w ith a fo cu s on su p p o rt fo r yo u th
o f co lo r. (D e s 5 0 3 -2 2 8 3 8 9 2 d e s Q lm fa m lly .o rg .)
(7 /0 3 )
O u tfid a In operates a clinic fo r anyone who can 't
qualify fo r the O regon H ealth Ran as w ell as needle
exchange services that include those w ho inject hor­
m ones Can provide transitional housing fo r youth 20
C ongregation Neveh Shalom, an open and p ro ­
affirm ing w ith w orship, children's school and child care
and younger as w ell as fo r those HIV+ and younger
gressive C onservative Jew ish synagogue, extends a
(1 0 am Sunday 33 00 SE W oodw ard St.
than 23. A lso plays host to VOICES (V oices o f
warm w elcom e to all sexual m inonties. Shabbat serv­
503-238-1337. w w w w averlyucc.org.) (1 /0 3 )
P eaceful Lane 503-24 6-8 831 .) (7 /0 3 )
W y'east Unitarian U niversalist Congregation is
an open and liberal religious com m unity offenng mtergen-
Congregation P 'nai O r (Faces o f Light) is a
eratonal seivices and religious education fo r children. It
vibrant, egalitanan, Jew ish R enewal congregation in
welcom es gay. lesbian, t> and trans members. N urtures
Individual and C om m unity Em powerm ent from the
S tree ts), a self support group fo r queer youth Needs
volunteers o f all ages. (1 0 am -6 pm M onday-Fnday
1 I3 2 S W 13th Ave. 503-535-3800 w w w outsidein org )
(7 /0 3 )
Portland M eets several tim es a m onth in various loca­
spintual grow th and prom otes living by Unitarian
V anguard Youth S arvicaa. a program o f
tions. (PO Box 42187. P ortland. O R 97242-0187.
U niversalist principles. (4 pm Sunday 3915 SE Steele St.
503-248-4500 w w w p n aiorpd x.org .) (7 /0 3 )
503-777-3704 www wyeast pnwd.uua.org )(1 103)
C ascadia B ehavioral H e a lth c a re , o ffe rs sup port and
re cre a tio n to gay. lesbian, b i and tra ns kids 23 and
D ignity Portland m eets fo r M ass on Sundays
Zion U nited C hurch o f C hrist, an open and
(503-262-694 7.) (7 /0 3 )
affirm ing congregation, is open to gay, lesbian, bi,
Eastrose Fellowship Unitarian Universalist. a w el­
coming congregation, offers Sunday service and children's
religious education. (10 30 am. 1133N E 181st Ave .
Gresham 503665-2628 eastroseQ teleport com .) (7 /03)
trans and heterosexual people who w ish to w orship in
a C hrist-centered, warm , canng, m u ltiag e/ra ce/cultural
faith com m unity (11 am Sunday 2025 NE 2 3 rd A v e .
G resham 503-665 8 7 4 1 ) (7 /0 3 )
C lackam aa C ounty
Sexual M in o rity Youth C onnection (COS
MYC) provides o p p o rtu n itie s fo r queer and qu es­
you nger P rogram s include;
tio n in g kids to ge t to g e th e r fo r fre e , fun and su p p o rt­
ive social a c tiv itie s . A lso one-on-one su p p o rt and
re fe rra ls to C lackam as C oun ty se rvice providers.
Faith United M ethodist Church is a welcoming com­
munity of Chnstians in Troutdale that values and encour­
ages all people in finding a place o f belonging in the family
of God. Sunday worship at 10:15 am; Adult Education at
9 am; children and youth at 10 30 am W ednesday Prayers
6-6:30 pm. (27400 S E S tark St. 503-661 -4520.) (7 /03)
First Unitarian Church of Portland is an open and
affirming liberal religious community offenng a wide range of
programs to nurture spintual growth, community and social
justice. Sunday service 9 and 11 am (1011 S W 12th Ave
503-2286389 www firstumtananportland o rg ) (7 /03)
F irst United M ethodist C hurch o f P ortland, a
w elcom ing and reconciling congregation, believes no
one is le ft out in G od's fam ily Sexual m inonty po tlu cks
held m onthly (1 0 30 am Sunday. 1838 S W Je ffe rso n
S t 503-228-3195 w w w fum cpdx o rg ) (7 /0 3 )
Gay and Lesbian O utreach (GALO ) o f S t Philip
Nen C atholic C hurch celebrates an affirm ing M ass fo l­
low ed by a social. (7 3 0 pm Friday P aulist C enter,
2408 SE 16th A ve 503-231-4955 )0 1 0 3 )
In te g rity is a group o f sexual m inonty Episcopalians
and fnends Vanous locations throughout O regon.
(B ruce M ason 503 28 6 9 1 1 1 brucepdxorQ attbi com
Plenty of angst and tragedy in Portland Opera's A View from the Bridge
In te rfa ith S p iritu a l C enter houses spintual d ire c­
Washington: Spirituality
available fo r guidance, classes and re tre a ts (S econd
Abundant U fa C anter is A N ew Thought
C om m unity fo r spintual aw akening and transform ing
Floor. 3910 SE I Ith Ave. 503 23 3 2026. ext. 3
w w w m terfaithspintualcenter. com . 7 (7 /0 3 )
lives through love A safe place w here children learn to
em body spintual pnnciples (1 0 am Sunday 10006 NE
Keshet Portland is a group fo r Jewish members o f the
N inth A ve . V ancouver 3 6 0 573 2 6 2 6 ) (7 /0 3 )
sexual mmonties com m unity and their partners, spouses
East Vancouver U nited M ethodist C hurch is
and supporters M onthly social, religious and cultural
reconciling and w elcom ing (1 0 am Sunday
events (D avidor Laney 503226-7079. ext 14) ( 7/03)
5701 M acA rthur B M
M etanoia Peace C om m unity U nited
M ethodist Church is a ‘ house c h u rc h ' that brings
ou rclarkcou nty Columbian c o m /2 7 3 /.) (7 /0 3 )
3606934761
First Congregational Church United Church of Chnst.
(5 0 3 9 6 9 0 0 6 0 co sm ycyo u th d ya h o o com )
E xpression is a fre e a rt/e x p re s s io n sup port group
in G resham fo r queer youth Hang ou t and have fun
eve ry Fnday1 (Jonathan 50 3 8 7 2 9664. e xt 2 8 )
(7 /0 3 )
P ride P roject bongs together W ashington C ounty
queer and questioning youth to plan and attend m onthly
social events A lso inform ation, referral and advocacy
services in W ashington C ounty (M olly 503 2 6 0 5 7 9 2
m ollyQ pndeproiect org ) (7 /0 3 )
Sexual M in o rity Youth Recreation Center
(SM YRO o ffe rs drop-in com puter access, pool tables
gay and straight tog ethe r (D aily p ra ye r 7 20 am.
holds two Sunday services, tradrtional and ‘ less traditional'
Sunday gathering 5 pm 21 16 NE 18th A ve
n an open and affirming congregation (1220 NE 68th S t .
503 2 8 1 3697 w w w te a rs o u p c o m /m e ta n o ia ) (7 /0 3 )
Vancouver 360-693-1476 vanuccQaol com ) (7/03)
M etropolitan C om m unity C hurch o f P ortland
God's Holy Territory is a charism atic, joy fie d wor-
W ednesday. 4 pm -m idnight Fnday and Saturday
holds ecum enical Sunday m orning w orsh ip services at
shp experience in Vancouver where everyone is w el­
com e: gay. lesbian, bi. trans and straight (11 am Sunday
2100 SE Belm ont S t 50 3 -8 7 2 9 6 6 4 TTY 503 2 3 1 9286
service Bible study 7 pm m ost Thursdays 1500 NE 49th
S t 360-885-9461 pastorQ godshofytem tory com ) (7 /03)
Youth HIV/STD Prevention P roject provides fun
9 and 11 am Sunday school fo r children is held dunng
the 11 am w orship service (2 400 N E Broadw ay
503 281 8868 in fo 9 m ccp o rtla n d .co m .) (7 /0 3 )
and an inform al place to hang out W eekly youth sup­
po rt groups includes Trans Youth G roup and Personal
D eity Proxy (a creative group) (4-8 pm M onday and
w w w sm yre o rg .) (1 /0 3 )
and educational program s along w ith counseling and
Portland C enter fo r S p iritual G rowth is a New
M I - 1 ------- 1 P ----------- *-------l U i l a N a n
testing to queer youth m a fnendfy. relaxed environm ent
Thought, uplifting, refreshing and exciting place o f wor-
Fellowship a Welcoming Congregation, provides a home
(503-872 9664 ) (7 /0 3 )
sh p Becom e a m inister m our m im stenal program
for the liberal religwus spirit (9 15 and I I am Sunday
4505 E 18th St.. Vancouver 360-695 1891X 1/03)
(1 0 am Sunday C all fo r location 50 3 777-0727) ( 7 /0 3 )
n ik iin i
1 - 1 -----------------l i - x
9BrVBius unruirisn I unreei
u n it
Portland Church of Religious Science is a liberal,
Washington: Youth
open, progressive New Thought com m unity welcoming
everyone to discover the s p rit w ithn Change your thek
mg. change your Me1 (10 am Sunday meditatKxi.
D ear M s . B ehavior :
What do you sup­
pose is the proper
amount of wanderlust
in a relationship?
My girlfriend and
1 have been together
for almost three
years now. She is the
first woman with
whom 1 have been
in a sexual relation­
ship. 1 had come out
before and dated
other girls, but once
she and I met, things
became serious.
It seems that what
I’ve been looking for all of my life was a
committed relationship with someone
wonderful who makes me happy. And
now 1 have that.
In the past few months I have been
getting restless, and 1 keep wishing 1
would have met the “right" one later on
and could have dated and fooled around
with a lot more wrong ones. It’s not a
very rational thought for me because I
never was very good at just “fooling
around" anyway. (Oh how I wish I was!)
I find myself looking around and won­
dering how things would he with this
woman or that woman.
Am I just experiencing a little
“grass is always greener on the other
side” syndrome? Or could this he
indicative of a realization that I don’t
really want to he in this relationship?
And if it is the former (which I think
it is), are there any ways to deal with
those feelings so they don’t consume
me and ruin a great relationship?
— A.
w w w m tegntyusa o rg .) (7 /0 3 )
to rs from vanous w orld re ligious tra d itio n s, w ho are
How much is too much?
(7 /0 3 )
W averiy Heights C hurch (UCC) is open and
ices 8 1 5 pm Friday and 9 am Saturday. (2 900 S W
Wanderlust
Triple P oint o ffe rs education, support and advocacy
Willamette Valley: Spirituality
to gay. lesbian, tx, trans and questioning youth in
1030 am service and ju n io r church. 6 3 0 pm W ednesday
First Congregational Church United Church of
Vancouver. W ash M eets 6-8 pm Tuesdays m the base­
prayer arele 3983 NE 112th Ave. 503 2614X 77 ) (1 /0 3 )
C hnst is an open and affirm ing congregation offenng wor
m ent o f Youth House. 1112 C olum bia S t. in Vancouver
Portland Radical Faeries m eet tw ice a m onth
(John 360-695-1325 ) (1 /0 3 )
w ith potlucks and circle s at the fu ll m oon and the new
shp and church school C h id care provided and wheel-
cha r accessible (9 am Sunday learning hour. 10 am wor-
m oon Open to all men seeking attem atrve spintual
sNp 700 Manon S t NE. Salem 5 0 3 -3 6 3 3 6 6 0 X 1 /0 3 )
grow th and com m unity C o ffe e hours s ta rt 9 30 am
Mom ingside United Methodist Church is a re c-
Saturdays at 3 Fnends C offeehouse. 201 SE 12th
oncàng congregation vrfiere everyone is welcom e to par
Ave (503-235-0826 o tte rQ p c e * c o m ) (7 /0 3 )
tia p a te n the fid life o f the congregabon (8 3 0 and
Willamette Valley: Youth
S is te r S p ir it o ffe rs wom en s spm tuakty celebrations,
11 am Sunday 3674 12th S t SE. Salem
Youth Group fo r ages 13 to 18 offers support, nform a
discussion groups, a drum m ing circle , w orkshops and
503-364 5013.) (1 /0 3 )
bon and hjn n Eugene Free, confidential, adult facilitated
classes Schedule o f events available A l w om en are
Sacred Soule honors a l sacred paths, prom otes
(D rop m 4 6 pm Fnday Amazon Com m unity Center.
2700 H tya id St. 541-684 3 4 6 6 ) (7 /0 3 )
w elcom e (S uite 102. 34 30 SE B elm ont S t M a tin g
peace and strives to create an environm ent that sup­
address PO Box 92 46 P ortland. O R 97 207
503 736-3297 siste rsp O te ie p o n com ) (1 /0 3 )
O regon S chool o f M assage (6 3 0 -8 pm Sunday
LeeUeo. Guy, Bieoieai. Trauegondor Youth
Group lo r ages 25 and younger m eets every M onday
S pirit C lrcb is fo r lestoan. bi o r trans women seekmg a
44 0 F erry S t SE. Salem w hoh lthO ao l com
in Eugene (5 pm Kom ona C enter. 1414 K m cad S t
welcommg com munity in the C atholic church M eets every
w w w sacredsouls o rg ) (7 /0 3 )
541 3 4 6 -1 13 4 ) (7 /0 3 )
p o rts and prom otes m terfarth dniogue M eets at the
D ear A.:
You sound like a thoughtful lesbian
who doesn’t want to blow a good thing.
The “proper amount of wander­
lust” is the amount your partner can
tolerate without dumping you on your
head. Wanting more excitement than
a stable relationship can provide is
quite normal; what you do with those
twitchy, lusty feelings will determine a
large part of your future. (Just ask any
middle-aged dyke who has had a
series of seven or eight three-year
relationships and now lives sans girl­
friend with two drooly dogs.)
It’s fortunate that your restlessness is
generalized at this point, rather than
focused on a specific woman with
whom you’d like to get jiggy. When
lust seems to be about an individual,
and you’ve not yet examined what it
means about you or your relationship,
you’re much more likely to end up with
your legs wrapped around your fantasy
woman in a car during your lunch
break. This may be a hot way to spend
an uneventful hour of your day— where
your only lunchtime thrill might other­
wise come from trying a new salad
dressing—but it robs you of the oppor­
tunity to make clear choices.
Lustful energy is best nurtured by
secrecy. You’ll diffuse the strength of
your fantasies if you
share your feelings
with other people,
like perhaps a thera­
pist and your partner.
If this notion seems
unappealing it’s prob­
ably because you
don’t want to move
beyond your current
position of straddling
true commitment vs.
what you perceive as
sexual freedom.
Even if your part­
ner feels threatened
by your feelings, con­
fessing them will
ultimately allow you to be closer
because you won’t have a secret from
her. And then, even if you eventually
feel you need more ’ho time before
truly settling down, you’ll at least have
made a clear and conscious decision.
D ear M s . B ehavior :
I dropped in on my new boyfriend,
Jack, when he didn’t expect me, and I
saw something that surprised me: Jack
was vacuuming his house while wear­
ing women’s underwear!
When he saw me— which was after
I’d already seen him, since the vacuum
was making a lot of noise— he quickly
threw on a bathrobe. He didn’t mention
the underwear, but his face was red.
I feel disturbed about the whole
situation but feel that it would be
impolite to ask questions since I
barged in on his private time. Is this
an inappropriate secret for him to
keep from his new boyfriend? Is it a
fetish? Would he have told me even­
tually? Should I say anything?
— Prefer Boxers
D ear P refer B oxers :
Jack clearly wasn’t ready to share
his panty preference with you at this
point. He may have wanted to wait
until, say, your six-month anniversary
to break out the lacy Victoria’s Secret
bikini ensemble or until he felt safe
enough to have determined that you
wouldn’t think he was a freak.
Or maybe he never would have
shared this particular interest with
you. It’s not “inappropriate" for Jack to
have something he enjoys doing pri­
vately, although vacuuming in
women’s lingerie is decidedly less con­
ventional than a hobby like
rollerblading or knitting.
Think about how it affected you to
see your boyfriend in women’s under­
wear. Ask questions if they’ll otherwise
be in the way of your relationship. Or if
you’d like to watch him do it again. JT1
© Meryl Cohn 2003
MERYL C ohn is the author of Do What I
Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay and
Lesbian Etiquette (Houghton Mifftm).
Signed copies are aucuiahle dtreedy from the
author. Send questions or correspondence to
msbehawjr^iaol.com.