4 J u s t out ’ march 21.2003
r r a
TH E MARK OF
RESPECT.
b ro U ^
i n
Sen’ice Beyond Expectation
Funeral & Cremation Services
LU XU RY CO ND O S— s m in t o
ixtwNTowN ~ fro m S I 3 3 ,9 0 0
Caldwell's Colonial Chapel
20 N E 14th A ve. • Portland, O R 97232
2 hcil/2buth w/ large covered patio, fireplace.
503-232-4111
20 acres o f secure p a rk -lik e grou n d s w / stream s,
pon ds, and fab ulous clubh ou se w/ lap p o o l, g ym ,
sauna, h o i tub, lib ra ry, tennis courts, and m uch m ore!
ATTENTIO N IN V ESTO R S!
$ 4 4 9 ,0 0 0
Ross Hollywood Chapel
4733 N E Thom pson • Portland, O R 97213
503-281-1800
O n l y steps a w a y fro m d o w n to w n & l*SIJ.
4 u n its (2 three b e d ro o m units
& 2 one b e d ro o m u n its).
Cemetery
Recently updated.
Sunnyside Chimes
Memorial Gardens
$ 2 4 9 ,9 0 0
3bd/2.5ba, o n ly m in u te s to d o w n to w n
(503)320-1271 ¿».c*». (Sr
11667 SE Stevens Rd. • Portland, O R 97266
503-659-1184
*,rr ••***• SHr
w w w .dignitym em orial.com
MILGARD
REPLACEMENT
WINDOWS
Clearly the best
We are a Certified Milgard Dealer
and have been selling and installing
Milgard windows for over 25 years in
the Portland area.
Milgard windows are manufactured right here in Oregon.
An Oregon window made for Oregon weather with lifetime
service direct from the manufacturing plant in Wilsonville.
Their guarantee is the best in the business, as we know from
25 years experience.
If you would like to have Milgard Windows installed in your
home at a reasonable price, please call anytim e for a
courteous in-home proposal.
Milgatxl Windows 1 * 0 3 )
___________
im n Vili 283-9481
www.insulatedwindowcorp.com
INSULATED W IN D O W
CO R PO R ATIO N
Garland Horner
Owner
CCB#19095
8124 N. Denver
e
u
- s
a n d
S ound
Organization advocates for prevention of domestic violence
in the sexual minorities community
A
woman
com es
by Ja c k T u rteltau b
BY MARTY DAVI!
The
D ignity
M e m o rialIM mark
sym bolizes respect. But then ag a in ,
it s y m b o liz e s so m uch m ore. It's a
sig n
o f trust, superior quality
standards, and attentive care in the
funeral, crem ation, and cem etery
profession. W ith m em bership hy
invitation only, D ignity M em orial is
the w orld's largest netw ork o f
funeral and crem ation providers and
signifies a higher level of funeral care.
>
w w w .m arvinsalles.com
r o
SAFE
& & &
SYLVAN S T E A L
m
shelter
bruised
and frightened, hut
her story is a little dif
ferent.
Another
woman— who lives
with her— has been
heating her for the
past couple of years,
and things are getting
worse.
A female-to-male
transsexual
calls
shelter
resources
seeking relief from
her partner, a man
who is sexually and
financially abusing
her and practically
running her life— Ira Streitfeld serves on the board of Stop Abuse for Everyone, a Tualatin-
into the ground. But based group that educates underserved communities about domestic violence
her experience leads
and control tactics. W hile recognizing that
to raised eyebrows
women were not always victims, the dom i
and blank stares.
Trying to under
nant paradigm had two categories: straight
stand these different manifestations of an
female victims and straight male abusers.
otherwise all-too-familiar scenario of domes
However, more and more studies arc chal
lenging this monolithic approach. Some suggest
tic violence is the international nonprofit
the frequency of femalc-against-male violence
Stop Abuse for Everyone. The small hut
in heterosexual relationships is comparable (if
growing Tualatin-hased group tries to educate
less lethal) to the frequency of male-against-
underserved com m unities about dom estic
violence.
female violence.
Other research has found rates of female
The story o f SA F E begins with Jade
aggression in lesbian relationships and male-
Ruhick during a brief marriage in the ’90s
while he was a graduate student. A heterosex on-male violence in gay dyads equal to rates
ual man, he didn’t recognize domestic vio in heterosexual unions. Som e studies suggest
there are even higher rates o f violence in rela
lence as his wife physically dominated and
tionships where at least one partner is trans.
assaulted him.
Same-sex domestic violence hy its nature
“She controlled everything I did, and there
challenges a purely gender-based analysis of
was a cycle of violence,” Ruhick says. “She
would explode, then become nice. I felt scared
abuse.
all the time.”
Board member Ira Streitfeld, a gay man with
a business background, including work in public
Ruhick says he felt ashamed of himself and
relations, is trying to get out the message about
tried to hide what was happening from others.
Then a close friend— his boss, a gay man— saw SAFE. He likes to emphasize that it is a “human
rights” organization.
the bruises and figured out what was going on.
“We are not about men or women,” Streit
He was “very supportive of me and encouraged
feld says. “ In the beginning some refused to
me to get out of the relationship.”
Rubick’s experience became the impetus for believe men could be victims and believed
men could only be perpetrators” of domestic
a Web page he started in order to understand
violence.
what he mistakenly thought— at the time—
was a unique experience: being a male victim
hile there is more recognition nowa-
of domestic violence. At the time, only women
?
days of their complexity and differ
and children were recognized as the primary
victims of marital and relationship physical
ences, domestic violence victims who arc not
heterosexual women have faced more limita
violence.
SA FE ’s mission has not been without crit tions and harriers to treatment. Only a hand
ful of shelters in the United States even will
icism and even controversy in the domestic
violence community, even though it is a rela take male victims of domestic violence— gay
or straight.
tively modest organization. A quarter-century
Ruhick recalls calling such a shelter in
ago the problem of marital and relationship
Eugene
when he was trying to get out of his rela
violence in nruxlcrn society was not well rec
ognized, hut ttxlay there are treatment pro tionship. The hot line operator was sympathet
ic, compassionate, wanting to help hut truly puz
grams and shelters for battered women and
zled. There was no psychosocial framework for
children and legal sanctions and diversion
viewing men as victims.
programs for perpetrators throughout the
The reality is, hoard member Phil G x ik
United States, Canada and parts of Asia and
notes, that a disproportionate amount of
Europe.
During the past 20 years, clinicians devel resources go to heterosexual women and that
other groups can get shortchanged. He says
oped treatment programs that were geared
toward protecting women from male aggres
sors and that emphasized anger management,
with legal consequences for the use of power