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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 21, 2003)
lafafuary 21.2003 OnoeYt f\o y J VW Q esty) 4or |||o j| m n r m fo rm er P™ ft**!**!! player E sera Tuaolo has received wide acclaim since revealing his * sexual orientation in O ctober. Do you consider him heroic for addressing the N FV s ram pant homophobia, or cowardly for w aiting to come out until after his retirem ent? Experienced Hair Care Services Haircuts I feel that coming out is always courageous. In Esera Tuaolo’s situation, he is now a pioneer, so he is especially courageous. It is very easy to come out if you are in the ater, fashion or art, hut to come out— before or after retirement— if you are involved in the NFL, even in this day and age, is being a huge pioneer! In a way it is better that he came out after retirement because he proved to all the homophobes what we already know: that a gay man can play football, be a hero, be successful in “macho sports,” be masculine, etc. Sometim es it is more powerful to gain the "love and confidence” o f your audience before revealing something that might have made that same audience close-minded to giving love and confidence because o f their prejudice. The more o f us who come out the better, no matter what time in one’s life! G abriela K andziora Portland Starting at $23 Color Starting at $30 Perms Starting at $50 by Appointment r a E va H offman P at K ekwin Mihuaukie Portland • • • • • • eing true to one’s own self is the ultimate act of heroism. When that occurs is entire ly at the discretion of one’s own schedule and willingness. It is not up to others to decide if it’s the am struggling with the issue myself. I have felt like 1 am a lesbian for a lot of years. I am 39 years old with two boys; I am tired of keeping it to myself. So I am starting to go to places so I finally “Giardina was optimistic that he could per suade Jasmine to give up her baby.” This article reeks of unacknowledged privilege, classism and sexism. Jasmine was not presented as a real person. Rather, she was reduced to a few choice stereo types about p<x>r women. Mentions of abusive men in her life as well as details about her drug use serve to prove she is incapable of mothering. Jasmine is portrayed as a mere means to obtaining a child and de humanized in the process. I hope future articles you publish take some of these concerns into consideration. The L G B T community is more diverse than this article assumes. Please work to be inclu sive o f others. rience o f coming out was for most of us. It is a tribute to the courage and determination of at least siime small segment of our community that these individuals step forward to do all the thankless “heavy lifting” that accompa nies getting any new program going. It is our collective responsibility to maintain our collective security. It is work that can be done correctly by no one else. Your article motivated me to call and get involved. My thanks. I’m well aware of how tough these projects are to do and hold down a full-time job besides. But what sort of state would we be in today if we turned a deaf ear to appeals for help when Measure 9 and then Measure 13 reared their ugly heads? This is a battle that we can win at the very foundations of learned prejudice and indiffer ence, reflected later in adulthood. Long-term dialogue always will trump diatribes. B C rystal M iddlestadt Eugene School's out I M ike B roderick Portland To the E ditor : T ) lease send along my deepest thanks to the people working to help create safer, saner conditions for gay people in our state’s schools (“Courage in the Classroom,” Feb. 7). We “older folks” simply might want to for get (bury very deeply?) how intense that expe- < Æ W o o J.T o cY B W J (Located in Transformations Salon) e’s not a coward for coming out after his retirement. He is very heroic for coming out and addressing the issue as he did. It’s a sad statement of fact, but if he had come out while he still was playing, his career would have ended long before it did. M ost of his team members would have treated him differently, it would have upset the harmony it takes to play on any team. They would have traded him or put him on waivers, and no one would have picked him up. And there goes his career and retirement. H 4 t l 3 n “right” time or not, although I dare say the vast majority of us, myself included, make that judgment. Sometimes I think we forget the struggles we ourselves went through in order to accept ourselves and feel comfortable enough telling others. I’ve been out as a gay man for 26 of my 46 years. Sometimes the 10 years I struggled to accept my sexuality seem light years away, sometimes as fresh as yesterday. Do 1 think Mr. Tuaolo a coward for coming out after he retired from the NFL? Not for a moment. It was his decision and his alone to make. S o long as he can live with his decision, more power to him. More power to all of us who’ve been there and done that. • • • * March madness To the E ditor : 1 personally feel that after having been beaten up myself quite a few times when I lived in San Diego just for being in a gay relationship— egon Camera Everything Photographic We have a knowledgeable, friendly staff helping you find the right camera, binoculars, or photographic accessories. can be totally happy in my life. Because of Esera Tuaolo’s job 1 think it was the best to wait till he came out after his retirement. Thanks for letting me share. A ‘family owned and operated business since 1997. 582 SW Adams Avenue (541) 753*2653 Corvallis, OR 97333 www.oregoncamera.com V___________________________ / K atherine V asquez M ilum kie n e x tlk L I 1 (J Does it rem ain culturally acceptable for gay m en to engage in public sex, or should these behaviors be taken out o f the bushes and into the bathhouses? (P lease see related item on P age 3 .) Respond a t w w w .justout.com . (D on't forget to include your nam e, city and daytim e telephone num ber.) by neighbors, relatives and folks who I didn’t even know who had nothing better to do with their time— it’s time to stop being a wallflower. The Mexican dude who got hurt in Beaverton upsets me very much! Even though I work as an intake care provider for my significant other, Michael, I’m trying to get him to understand that just spending at least an hour or so marching is much better than sitting behind the computer. WORRIED ABOUT YOUR RIGHTS? YOU SHOULD BE. Richard B. Schneider A tto rney A t L aw is well versed in the special estate planning needs of the GLBT com m unity and can help you with care and professionalism. What Every Gay And Lesbian Couple Should Know About Estate Planning. FREE R EPO R T! “Gay & Lesbian Couples Face Special Challenges In Estate Planning ” T emathi G allagher Portland Green thumbs-up To the E ditor : T hank you, Butch, for letting us all enjoy the benefits of your green thumb at G ail’s Dirty Duck. You have transformed the décor into a class act. Your contribution and care of the greenery is appreciated. From a few scraggly remnants of Mama’s funeral plants barely kept alive because of years of benign neglect, you have made our “living room” into a place we all can take pride in. Your knowledge and willingness to talk about your “babies” are notably helpful. Continued on Page 7 Law Offkas of Richard B. Schneider, 2455 Suita 11 503.241.1215