tetxuary 21. ?nm J— t m <|25
“It’s a small house,” Lisa explains. “When
you’re new in a relationship you can overlook a
lot of stuff, hut...we kept getting more crowd
ed.... We kept getting more cranky, we kept
having less fun, we kept having more
fights...we just felt like if we kept all living
together, [Kristen and I) were going to end up
breaking up.”
They both agreed they didn’t want to
break up. Kristen moved in with a friend
across town.
“ It’s great,” Lisa says. “She’s got more free
dom ...she’s a student and needs privacy.... We
could give her love and fun and a big, happy
family, but we couldn’t give her a nice, clean,
quiet space of her own.”
Far from breaking up, Kristen is over at the
house at least once a week, and Lisa spends the
night at Kristen’s once a week. “I miss waking
up next to her every morning, and 1 miss going
to bed,” admits Kristen. “But it’s nice not to he
owned and not own anybody and to try to let
the other person he who they are.”
They Kith think the relationship will last,
although Kristen is considering seeing other
people, “which would he good ’cause then
you’d have a polyamory-polyamory type of
branch-off there,” Kristen laughs. “ Like a little
neuron.”
o, as it turns exit people don’t always
choose polyamory; sometimes it chooses
% m P them. Does it always work.7 Of course not.
Does monogamy.7 Of course not. In the immortal
words of Bart Simpson: “Do what you feel."
As long as you negotiate it. J H
LlSA B rai ^ shaw is the Arts and Culture Editor of
Just Out and can be reached at lisa@justout.com.
Upgrading?
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Investing?
...CALL ME WHEN
YOU’RE READY
B u t w a ff! T h e re 's m o re .
yov/Ve
noT
<^y»T c f c a á y
The Ethical Slut: A Quide to
Infinite Sexual Possibilities
by Dossie Easton and Cather
ine A. Liszt
Written by two bisexual
women, this essential poly
primer is appropriate for and
inclusive of all genders and
sexualities. Addresses health,
social, philosophical, jealousy,
practical and child care issues.
Also good if you’re not
romantically/sexual ly
polyamorous but just have a
lot of people in your life who
are important to you.
4or
T V *
Po\ya*wy
fT a fT
www.LoveMore.com
Lesbian Polyfidelity
by Celeste West
This one includes a
wealth of personal
interviews and biogra
phy of the San Francis
co author’s own poly
experiences. A bit
more hippie-based
using new-agey, earth-
mother type language,
it covers all the basics
from a lot of different points of view.
Polyamory: The New
Love Without Lim its
by Deborah Anapol
TIRI
The Lesbian Polyamory
Although there are
R eader: Open Relationships,
more books to choose
POtYAMORY R fA D tR
Non-Monogamy, and C asual
from now, this is a
■
Sex edited by Marcia Munson
revised and updated
version of Anapol’s
and Judith P. Stelboum
Originally published as
1992 book Love With
Volume 3, Numbers 1 and 2
out Limits — the first
of the Journal of Lesbian Stud
real poly primer. The
ies, this book is full of well-
author discusses her
written and thoughtful articles
own interesting journey
like “Patriarchal Monogamy,”
toward multiple rela
“Turning Down the Jezebel
tionships. This book
Decibels" and “Matriarchal
(and the others) is
Village." Although obviously aimed at lesbians,
engaging reading even few those who aren’t
the personal essays, poetry, letters, confessions
interested in polyamorous relationships and
and academic musings are fun and informative
has a lot to teach about communication, hon
for anyone exploring polyamory.
esty and jealousy.
"LESBIAN
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Pets welcome at most locations.
503 233-4363
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Your one-stop shopping headquarters
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you can order Loving M ore magazine
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• Polyam orypdx: “A public
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