January 17,2002 * Jaaftoatj 3 1
SPIRITUALITY
Metro: Spirituality
Ainsworth United Church of Christ is a multi
racial, m ulticultural, open and affirm ing church Sunday
worship is at 10 am; church school for children runs
concurrently (2941 NE Ainsworth S t 503-284-8767.
aucc@ teleportcom X 7/03)
Anawim Community of gay men meets weekly for
Chnstian meditation and prayer (7 30 pm Thursday
503-281-0722.) (T103)
Atkinson Memorial Church is a Unitanan
Universalist welcoming congregation in Oregon City.
(710 Sixth S t 503 656-7296
ww w alkm sonchurch.com 7 (7/03)
Compassionate Heart Sangha plays host to
weekly sittings in the Vipassana M editation Tradition at
Flanders House (7.30-9 pm Wednesday 2926 NE
Flanders S t Jon 503-239 5 5 3 9 X 7 /0 2 )
Congregation Neveh Shalom, an open and pro
gressive Conservative Jewish synagogue, extends a
warm welcome to all sexual m inorities Shabbat ser
vices 8:15 pm Friday and 9 am Saturday. (2900 SW
Peaceful Lane 503-246-8831X 7/03)
Congregation P'nai O r (Faces of Light) is a
vibrant, egalitanan, Jewish Renewal congregation in
Portland M eets several times a month in vanous loca
tions (PO Box 42187. Portland. OR 97242-0187.
503-248 4500. wwwpnaiorpdx org.) (7/0 3 )
Dignity Portland meets for Mass on Sundays
(503 262 6947.) (7/03)
Eastrose Fellowship Unitarian Universalist. a wel
coming congregation, offers Sunday service and children's
religious education. (10.30am 1133NE !8 ls tA v e .
Gresham 503-6652628 eastroseQteieporl com.) (7/03)
Faith United Methodist Church is a welcoming
community o f Chnstians in Troutdale that values and
encourages all people in finding a place of belonging in
the family o f God. Sunday worship at 10:15 am; Adult
Education at 9 am; children and youth at 10 30 am
Wednesday Prayers 6-6:30 pm. (27400 SE Stark St.
503 661 4520.) ( 7/03)
First Unitarian Church of Portland is an open and
affirming liberal religious community offenng a wide
range of programs to nurture spmtual growth, commu
nity and social justice Sunday service 9 and 11 am
(1011 SW 12th Ave. 503-2286389.
www firstum tananportland o rg ) (7/03)
First United Methodist Church of Portland, a
welcoming and reconciling congregation, believes no
one is left out in God's family. Sexual minonty potlucks
held monthly (10 30 am Sunday 1838 SW Jefferson
S t 503-228-3195 www fumcpdx org ) (7/03)
Integrity is a group o f sexual minonty Episcopalians
and fnends Vanous locations throughout Oregon
(Bruce Mason 503 28 6 -9 1 11 bnjcepdxorG attbr com.
www mtegntyusa. o rg 7 (7/03)
Interfaith Spiritual Center houses spintual direc
tors from vanous world religious traditions, who are
available for guidance, classes and retreats (Second
Floor. 3910 SE 11th Ave. 503 233-2026. e x t 3.
www m lerfaithspintualcenter.com .) (7/0 3 )
Sunday 12250 SW Denney Road. Beaverton
503-644 2073 staff@ southm m com X7/03)
S t Andrew Catholic Church mates al to jom a
dverse faith community for prayer and fellowship (930 am
Sunday 806 NE A te rta St 5032814429 ) (7/03)
St. Jam es Lutheran Church a Reconciled in
Chnst congregation, welcomes all people for tradition
al, liturgical worship where we expenence God's rec
onciling love that sets all people free (9 and 11 am
Sunday 1315 SW Park Ave 503-227-2439 ) (7/03)
Gay and Lesbian Outreach (GALO) of St Philip
Nen Catholic Church celebrates an affirm ing Mass fo l
lowed by a social. (7 30 pm Friday. Paulist Center.
2408 SE 16th Ave 503-231 4955 7(7/03)
St. Stephen's Episcopal Church has been wel
coming all people since 1863 (12 10 pm Wednesday
and 7 45 and 10 am Sunday Sunday school and child
care at 10 am. Southwest 13th Avenue at Clay Street
503 223 6424. 7(7/03)
Waveriy Heights Church (UCC) is open and
affirming with worship, children's school and child care
(10 am Sunday 3300 SE Woodward S t
503-238-1337 www waverlyucc.org. 7 (7/03)
Wy'east Unitarian Universalist Congregation
is an open and liberal religious community offenng
mtergenerational services and religious education for
children It welcomes gay. lesbian, bi and trans mem
bers Nurtures spintual growth and promotes living by
Unitanan Universalist pnnciples (4 pm Sunday
3915 SE Steele S t 503-777-3704
www wyeast pnw duua org. 7 (7/0 3 )
Zion United Church of Christ, an open and
affirming congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, bi.
trans and heterosexual people who wish to worship in
a Chnst-centered. warm, canng. m ultiage/race/cultural
faith community. (11 am Sunday 2025 NE 23rd A v e .
Gresham 5 0 3 6 6 5 -8 7 4 1 X 7 /0 3 )
Washington: Spirituality
Abundant Life Center is A New Thought
Community fo r spintual awakening and transforming
lives through love A safe place where children learn to
embody spiritual pnnciples (10 am Sunday 10006 NE
Ninth A ve . Vancouver 360-573-2626X 7/03)
East Vancouver United Methodist Church is
reconciling and welcoming (10 am Sunday
5701 M acArthur Btvd 360693 4761
ourclarkcounty Columbian, com /2 7 3 /7 (7 /0 3 )
First Congregational Church. United Church of
Chnst. holds two Sunday services, traditional and
"less traditional" in an open and affirming congrega
tion (1220 NE 68th St.. Vancouver 360-693 1476
vanucc@aol.com .7 (7/03)
God's Hoty Territory offers a spint filled worship
expenence. seeking God for holiness and wholeness
For gay. lesbian, bi. trans and straight Eveiyone wel
come1 ( I I am Sunday. 7 pm Thursday Bible study and
prayer 1500 NE 49th St . Vancouver. 360885 9461
gmbear€8@ netzeronet.) (7/03)
Michael Servetus Unitarian Universalist
Fellowship, a Welcoming Congregation, provides a home
for the liberal religious spint (9:15 and 11 am Sunday
4505 E 18th S t. Vancouver 360-695 1891X7/03)
Keshet Portland is a group for Jewish members of the
sexual mmonties community and their partners, spouses
and supporters Monthly social, religious and cultural
events (D avidor Laney 503 226-7079. ext 74.7(7/03)
Meta no ia Peace Community United
Methodist Church is a ‘ house chu rch .' bnngmg
gay and straight together (Daily prayer 7 20 am.
Sunday gathenng 5 pm 2116N E 18th Ave
503-281 -3697. www tearsoup. com /m etanoia 7(7/03)
Metropolitan Community Church of Portland
holds ecumenical Sunday morning worship services at
9 and 11 am Sunday school for children is held dunng
the 11 am worship service. (2400 NE Broadway
503 281 8868 mfoOm ccportland com 7(7/03)
Portland Center for Spiritual Growth is a New
Thought Center offenng an uplifting, warm and refresh
ing service with the Revs Casey and Berdell M offett-
Chaney (10 am Sunday Call fo r location
503 777 0 7 2 7 X 7 /0 3 )
Portland Church of Religious Science is a lib
eral. open, progressive New Thought community w el
coming everyone to discover the spint within Change
your thinking, change your life 1 (10 am Sunday medita
tion. 10 30 am service and/unior church. 6 3 0 pm
Wednesday prayer circle 3983 NE 112th Ave
503 261 067 7)1 7 /0 3)
Willamette Valley: Spirituality
First Congregational Church. United Church of
Christ is an open and affirm ing congregation offenng
worship and church school Child care provided and
wheelchair accessible (9 am Sunday learning hour.
10 am worship 700 Manon St. NE. Salem
503 3 6 3 3 6 6 0 X 7 /0 3 )
Momingside United Methodist Church is a
reconciling congregation where everyone is welcome
to participate in the full life of the congregation (8 3 0
and 11 am Sunday 3674 12th S t SE. Salem
503-364 5 0 1 3 X 7 /0 3 )
Sacred Souls honors all
sacred paths, prom otes peace
and stoves to create an envi
ronment that supports and
promotes m terfaith dialogue
M eets at the Oregon School
o f Massage (6 3 0 -8 pm
Sunday 440 Ferry S t SE.
Salem wholhlth@aol com
www sacredsouls org 7 (7/03)
Portland Radical Faeries meet twice a month
with potlucks and circles at the full moon and the new
moon Open to all men seeking alternative spintual
growth and community Coffee hours start 9 30 am
Saturdays at 3 Friends Coffeehouse. 201 SE 12th
Ave (503 2 3 5 0826 otter@ pcez com .) (7/03)
SisterSpirit offers women's spmtuality celebrations,
discussion groups, a drumming circle, workshops and
classes Schedule of events available All women are
welcome (Suite 102. 3430 SE Belmont S i Mailing
address: PO Box 9246. Portland. OR 97207
503 73&3297 sisterspG teleport com ) (7/03)
Spirit C ircia is for lesbian, bi or trans women seek
mg a welcoming community m the Cathokc church
M eets every third Thursday m the St Andrew Nativity
School (7 pm 806 NE Alberta St
IbtspmtcircleQyahoo com 7 (7/03)
Southmimtar Presbyterian Church is a chal
lengmg. supportive community that welcomes all peo
ple H is the first M ore Light Presbyterian Church m
Oregon Sunday school and nursery care (10 am
Onda Art* Latina
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by Maximo Laura
Jan. 30-March 2
ADVICE
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YOUTH
Metro: Youth
Bad vibes
Flavors, a program of MuttiQueer and Brother to
Brother, is a social support group for sexual minority
youth of color 24 and younger Meets every other
Sunday for food and socializing Regular events and activ
ities (Des 503228-3892 or des@lmfamtly org Stephan
503-417-7991 o r hey_ stephan@hotmail com.) (7/03)
The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education
Network (GLSEN) fights to end anti-gay bias in K 12
schools. (12700 SW North Dakota S t . Suite 180.
»129. Tigard. OR 97223 503-525 1177.
glsen@glsenoregon org www glsenoregon org.) (7/03)
MultiQueer a program of Love Makes a Family, pro
vides advocacy to sexual minonty youth Offers
resources and support in the community and the school
systems, with a focus on support for youth of color
(Des 503 228-3892 des@lmfamily.org 7(7/03)
Outside In operates a cknic for anyone who can’t qual
ify for the Oregon Health Plan as well as needle
exchange services that include those who inject hor
mones Can provide transitional housing for youth 20
and younger as well as for those HIV+ and younger than
23 Also plays host to VOICES (Voices of Individual and
Community Empowerment from the Streets), a self-sup
port group for queer youth Needs volunteers of all
ages. (10 am-6 pm Monday Friday 1132 SW 13th Ave
503 535-3800 www outsidem org.) (7/03)
Vanguard Youth Services a program of Cascadia
Behavioral HealthCare. offers support and recreation to
gay. lesbian, bi and trans kids 23 and younger Programs
include Clackamas County Sexual Minority
Youth Connection (COSM YC) provides opportuni
ties for queer and questioning kids to get together for
free, fun and supportive social activities Also one-on-
one support and referrals to Clackamas County service
providers (503-969-0060 cosmycyouth@ yahoocom.)
Expression is a free art/expression support group in
Gresham for queer youth Hang out and have fun every
Friday* (Jonathan 503-8729664. ext. 28. 7(7/03)
Pride Project bnngs together Washington County
queer and questioning youth to plan and attend monthly
social events Also information, referral and advocacy
services in Washington County. (M olly 503 260 5792
molly@pndepro)ect org 7 (7/03)
Sexual Minority Youth Recreation Center
(SMYRC) offers drop-m computer access, pool tables and
an informal place to hang out Weekly youth support groups
includes Trans Youth Group and Personal Deity Proxy (a
creative group) (4 8 pm Monday and Wednesday. 4 pm-
midnight Fnday and Saturday 2100 SE Belmont St.
503-8729664 TTY 503-231 9286 w w w sm yrcorg) (7/03)
Youth HIV/STD Prevention Project provides fun
and educational programs along with counseling and
testing to queer youth in a fnendly. relaxed environment
(503 8 7 2 9 6 6 4 X 7 /0 3 )
Washington: Youth
Triple Point offers education, support and advocacy
to gay. lesbian, bi, trans and questioning youth in
Vancouver. Wash Meets 6-8 pm Tuesdays in the base
ment of Youth House. 1112 Columbia St in Vancouver
(John 360 695-1325X 7 /03)
Willamette Valley: Youth
Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Transgender and Questioning
Youth Group for ages 13 to 18 offers support, informa
tion and fun in Eugene Free, confidential, adult facilitated
(Drop m 4-6 pm Friday Amazon Community Center.
2700 Hilyard St. 541-684-3466X7/03)
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Youth
Group for ages 25 and younger meets every Monday
m Eugene (5 pm Komoma Center. 1414 Kincaid St
541 346-1134X 7/03)
Don’t bond with La Machine
or with men who won’t kiss you
D ear M s .
B ehavior :
I’ve been with
my girlfriend,
Kate, for the past
two years. I think
we have a nice
sex life, hut she’s
been complaining
lately.
I like to use a
vibrator during
sex. It helps me
come easily, which
makes me feel
relaxed.
Kate feels
somehow insulted
by my use of this
tool— as if it
means she’s not a good lover. I do
enjoy her touch, hut when it’s time
to have an orgasm, “La M achine"
really does the trick.
I was married to a man for many
years and never came at all when we
had sex. 1 discovered the joy of
vibrators after that when 1 was
alone. 1 was amazed by how easy it
is. Now I am used to the vibrator
and don’t really have the patience
or the desire to try to achieve an
orgasm without it.
Kate always wants to go down
on me, which is nice, hut I find it
too frustrating. I guess I’ve gotten
used to the more intense sensations
that the vibrator provides. She
thinks it means I’m numbed out. I
think it’s just a
preference. How
can I convince
Kate that my
attachment to
my vibrator is
not an insult to
her?
— Buzz
dull patterns is
what’s important
here. In fact, if
you’d said that
your girlfriend
had never used a
vibrator, Ms.
Behavior would
have sent you lit
erature about
Magic Wands,
vibrating eggs
and latex dol
phins designed
for your orgasmic
pleasure.
D ear M s .
B ehavior :
I consider
myself a straight male. However, I
often fantasize about having oral sex
with another man. Does that mean I
am bi or gay?
I know swallowing is risky, but I
really would like to experience that,
too, if I could find an honest man to
try it on who is younger than 38.
Now, on the other hand, 1 love
women and want to get married
someday. I do not like to cuddle
with a man or kiss a man; in fact, I
would find it gross. Can you give me
some advice?
— Love to Swallow
D ear L ove to S wallow :
W hat’s “straight” about wanting
sex with men and cuddling and
marriage with
women ? You
sfiecify the
under-38 age
range o f the
men you’d like
to blow, and
the only other
characteristic
you specify is
honesty. Ms.
Behavior pre
sumes that by
“honest,” you mean about his HIV
status. But will you be “honest”
with the woman you someday marry
when you go out on your sucking
and swallowing expeditions? Will
you go down on her, too?
The fact that you find the idea of
cuddling or kissing a man “gross”
makes you sound like you might suf
fer from a touch o f homophobia.
Perhaps therapy would help you sort
out your feelings so that someday
the fierson you want to blow is the
same one you want to kiss— and
vice versa.
rm used to
the vibrator
and don’t really
have the patience
or the desire to try
to achieve an
orgasm without It
D ear B uzz :
Any sexual
routine that is
pleasing to one person and not the
other can become a little dull.
T h at’s why feathers and shoes are
boring to people who don’t like
birds or feet. Your love for your
vibrator probably isn’t a fetish, hut
since Kate doesn’t share your
mechanical enthusiasm, she might
start snoozing as you’re approaching
your third climax.
Kate may feel that your vibrator
is an obstacle to intimacy, since
there are always three of you in the
bed. Vibrating together is risk-free,
since you know you’ll come. But if
you took the risk of allowing Kate
to make love to you once in a while
without the assistance of your vibra
tor, you’d probably both feel more
vulnerable. And if you practiced
enough so that you both became
comfortable, you might actually feel
closer.
But just tossing the vibrator out
o f the bed isn’t the point; breaking
in
© Meryl Cohn 2003
M eryl C o h n is the author of Do
What 1 Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide
to G ay and Lesbian Etiquette
(Houghton M ifflin). Her Internet site
is www.msbehavior.com. Send
questions or correspondence to
msbehasrior@aol. com.