January 3. 2001 » Jw rt — t|29
ADVICE
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Willamette Valley:
Physical Recreation
Keshet Portland is a group for Jewish members of the
sexual mmonties community and their partners, spouses
and supporters Monthly social, religious and cultural
events (DavidorLaney 503-226-7079. ext 147(7/03)
Michael Servetus Unitarian Universalist
Fellowship a Welcoming Congregation, provides a
home for the liberal religious spmt (9 15 and 11 am
Sunday 4505 E 18th St . Vancouver 360695-1891 )
(7/03)
Ths OUTdoor Group is a fnendly. inclusive bunch of
Eugene people who go biking, hiking, skating, mushroom
hunting, skiing, hot spnnging and just about any other
activity you can dream up Occasional weekend camping
(Kim 541-484-2147 kims@efnorg
www outdoorgroup o rg )( 7/03)
Meta no ia Peace Community United Methodist
Church is a "house church." bnngmg gay and straight
together (Daily prayer 7 20 am. Sunday gathenng
5 pm 2116 NE 18th Ave 503-281-3697
www tearsoup com/metanoia) (7/03)
Frontrunner and Walker« go out every Saturday
morning in Eugene. (9 am 15th and Agate Hank
541 484 6259 or Sadie 541-485 3282.7 (7/03)
Metropolitan Community Church of Portland
holds ecumenical Sunday morning worship services at
9 and 11 am Sunday school for children is held dunng
the 11 am worship service. (2400 NE Broadway
503-281 8868 mfoQmccportland com.) (7/03)
First Congregational Church United Church of
Chnst is an open and affirming congregation offenng
worship and church school Child care provided and
wheelchair accessible (9 am Sunday teaming hour.
10 am worship 700 Manon St NE, Salem
503 363 36607(7/03)
Portland Center for Spiritual Growth is a New
Thought Center offenng an uplifting, warm and refresh
ing service with the Revs Casey and Berdell Moffett-
Chaney (10 am Sunday Call for location
503777-0727.7(7/03)
Momingside United Methodist Church is a rec
onciling congregation where everyone is welcome to
participate in the full life of the congregation. (8 30 and
11 am Sunday 3674 12th St SE. Salem
503364 50737(7/03)
Portland Church of Religious Science is a liber
al. open, progressive New Thought community welcom
ing everyone to discover the spmt within Change your
thinking, change your life! (10 am Sunday meditation.
10 30 am service and ¡umor church. 6 3 0 pm
Wednesday prayer circle 3983 NE 112th Ave
503-261-06777 (7/03)
Sacred Souls honors all sacred paths, promotes
peace and strives to create an environment that sup
ports and promotes interfaith dialogue Meets at the
Oregon School of Massage (6 30-8 pm Sunday 440
Ferry St SE. Säern wholhlth@aol com
www sacredsouls org 7 (7/03)
The Eugene GLBT Tennis Group gets together
weekends to play for fun and exercise Open to all
ages and skill levels (kfranken8@yahoo com ) (7/03)
Willamette Valley: Social
Confluence: The Willamette Valley Mixed
GALA Chorus rehearses 4-6 30 pm Sundays at
Umtanan Universalist Congregation of Salem. 5090
Center St NE. (541-754-4144 confluence@aol com
www confluencechorus org ) (7/03)
The Eugene Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual 20s/30s
Social Club enjoys a weekly game night and brunch
every Sunday at Brail s (Bnan 541 -485-3437.) (7/03)
The Lesbian Connection (TLC) meets once a
month for potlucks and other vanous fun activities in
Eugene All women welcome (Bonnie 541 683-2793)
(7/03)
Portland Radical Faeries meet twice a month with
potlucks and circles at the full moon and the new
moon Open to all men seeking alternative spmtual
growth and community Coffee hours start 9 30 am
Saturdays at 3 Fnends Coffeehouse. 201 SE 12th Ave
(503-235-0826 otter@pcez com 7 (7/03)
Willamette Valley: Spirituality
YOUTH
Metro: Youth
Marionberry Salon meets monthly in Salem for
potlucks and discussion of books touching on the les
bian, gay. bi experience (Cary 503-363 6036
marionberry salon@aol com.) (7/03)
SisterSpirit offers women's spirituality celebrations,
discussion groups, a drumming circle, workshops and
classes Schedule of events available All women are
welcome (Suite 102. 3430 SE Belmont St Mailing
address PO Box 9246. Portland. OB 97207.
503 736-3297 sistersp&teleport com ) (7/03)
Flavors a program of MultiQueer and Brother to
Brother, is a social support group for sexual mmonty
youth of color 24 and younger Meets every other
Sunday for food and socializing Regular events and
activities (Des 503-228 3892 or des@lmfamtly org
Stephan 503-417 7991 or hey stephanGhotmail com.)
(7/03)
SPIRITUALITY
Spirit Circle is for lesbian, bi or trans women seek
ing a welcoming community in the Catholic church
Meets every third Thursday in the St Andrew Nativity
School (7 pm 806 NE Alberta St.
IbtspintcircleQyahoo com. 7 (7/03)
The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education
Network (GLSEN) fights to end anti gay bias in
K-12 schools. (12700 SW North Dakota St . Suite 180.
»129. Tigard. OB 97223. 503-525-1177.
glsen@glsenoregon org www glsenoregon org 7 (7/03)
Southminster Presbyterian Church is a chal
lenging. supportive community that welcomes all peo
ple. It is the first More Light Presbyterian Church in
Oregon. Sunday school and nursery care. (10 am
Sunday 12250 SW Denney Boad. Beaverton
503-644-2073. staff@southmm.com.7 (7/03)
MultiQueer a program of Love Makes a Family, pro
vides advocacy to sexual minority youth. Offers
resources and support in the community and the school
systems, with a focus on support for youth of color.
(Des 503-228 3892 des@lmlamilyorg.HV03)
Metro: Spirituality
Ainsworth United Church of Christ is a multi
racial, multicultural, open and affirming church Sunday
worship is at 10 am; church school for children runs
concurrently (2941 NE Ainsworth St 503-284-8767
aucc@teleport com.7(7/03)
Anawim Community of gay men meets weekly for
Chnstian meditation and prayer (7 30 pm Thursday.
503 281 -0722.) (7/03)
•
Atkinson Memorial Church is a Umtanan
Universalist welcoming congregation in Oregon City
(710 Sixth St 503 656-7296
www atkmsonchurch com.HT/03)
Compassionate Heart Sangha plays host to
weekly sittings in the Vipassana Meditation Tradition at
Flanders House (7 30 9 pm Wednesday 2926 NE
Flanders St Jon 50j-239-55397(7/03)
Congregation Neveh Shalom an open and pro
gressive Conservative Jewish synagogue, extends a
warm welcome to all sexual mmonties Shabbat serv
ices 8; 15 pm Fnday and 9 am Saturday (2900 SkV
Peaceful Lane 503 246 8 8 3 1.7(7/03)
Congregation P'nai Or (Faces of Light) is a vibrant,
egalitarian. Jewish Renewal congregation in Portland
Meets several times a month in vanous locations
(PO Box 42187. Portland. OB 972420187
503 248-4500 www pnatorpdx org 7 (7/03)
Dignity Portland meets for Mass on Sundays
(503 262 6 9 4 7 7(7/03)
Eastrose Fellowship Unitarian Universalist a
welcoming congregation, offers Sunday service and
children s religious education (1030 am
1133 NE 181st A v e . Gresham 503 665 2628
eastrose@teleport com.) (7/03)
Faith United Methodist Church is a welcoming
community of Chnstians in Troutdale that values and
encourages all people m finding a place of belonging in
the family of God Sunday worship at 1015 am, Adult
Education at 9 am. children and youth at 10 30 am
Wednesday Prayers 6-6 30 pm (27400 SE Stark St
503 661 4 52 0) (7/03)
First Unitarian Church of Portland is an open and
affirming liberal religious community offenng a wide range
of programs to nurture spmtual growth community and
social justice Sunday service 10 am (1011 SW 12th Ave
5032286389 www hrstumtananportland org) (7/03)
First United Methodist Church of Portland, a wel
coming and reconciling congregation, believes no one
is left out m God s family Sexual mmonty potlucks held
monthly (1030 am Sunday 1838 SW Jefferson St
503 228-3195 www fumcpdx o rg ) (7/03)
Grace Space is a New Thought spmtual center deck
cated to offenng ways to expenence Spint Sunday
evening celebrations with Rev Stephanie Torres.
Conscious Breathing experiences. Chanting. Healing
Services. Meditation classes and a miracles study
group (5 pm Bndgeport Community Church. 621 NE
76th Ave 503 2 8 7 -3 2 1 6 )0 /0 3 )
Integrity is a group of sexual mmonty Episcopalians
and fnends Vanous locations throughout Oregon
/Bruce Mason 503-286 9 1 11 brucepdxor@attbi com
www mtegntyusa org.7(7/03)
Interfaith Spiritual Center houses spmtual dvec
tors from vanous world religious traditions, who are
available for guidance, classes and retreats (Second
Floor 3910 SE 11th Ave 503 233 2026 ext 3
www mterfaithspintuakenter com 7 (7/03)
St. Andrew Catholic Church invites all to pin a
diverse faith community for prayer and fellowship.
(9 3 0 am Sunday 806 NE Alberta St 503 281 4429 )
(7/03)
St. James Lutheran Church a Reconciled in
Chnst congregation, welcomes all people for traditional,
liturgical worship where we expenence God s reconcil
ing love that sets all people free (9 and 11 am Sunday
1315 SW Park Ave 503 227 2439 7 (7/03)
Gay and Lesbian Outreach (GALO) of St Philip
Nen Catholic Church celebrates an affirming Mass fol
lowed by a social (7 3 0 pm Friday Pauhst Center.
2408 SE 16th Ave 503 231 -4955 7 (7/03)
St. Stephen's Episcopal Church has been wel
coming all people since 1863 (12 10 pm Wednesday
and 7 45 and 10 am Sunday Sunday school and child
care at 10 am Southwest 13th Avenue at Clay Street
503 223-6424) (7/03)
Waveriy Heights Church (UCC) is open and
affirming with worship, children s school and child care
(10 am Sunday 3300 SE Woodward St 503238 1337
www waverlyucc org.) (7/03)
Wy'east Unitarian Universalist Congregation
is an open and liberal religious community offenng inter
generational services and religious education for chil
dren It welcomes gay. lesbian, bi and trans members
Nurtures spmtual growth and promotes living by
Umtanan Universalist principles (4 pm Sunday
3915 SE Steele St 503-777-3704
www wyeast pnwd uua org 7 (7/03)
*
Zion United Church of Christ an open and
affirming congregation is open to gay. lesbian, bi. trans
and heterosexual people who wish to worship m a
Chnst-centered. warm canng. multiage/race/cultural
faith community ( I I am Sunday 2025 NE 23rd A v e .
Gresham 503 6 6 5 874 1 7(7/03)
Washington Spirituality
Abundant Life Center is A New Thought
Community for spmtual awakening and transforming
lives through love A safe place where children learn to
embody spmtual pnnciples (10 am Sunday 10006 NE
Ninth Ave Vancouver 360 5 73 2 6 2 6 )(7/03)
East Vancouver United Methodist Church is
reconciling and welcoming (10 am Sunday
5701 MacArthur Bfvd 360693 4761
ourclarkcounty Columbian com /273/ 7 (7/03)
First Congregational Church United Church of
Chnst. holds two Sunday services, traditional and "less
tradit'cndl" m an open and affirming congregation
(1220 NE 68th St Vancouver 360 693 1476
vanuccOaol com 7 (7/03)
God's Holy Territory offers a spmt filled worsNp
expenence, seeking God for holiness and wholeness
For gay. lesbian bi trans and straght Everyone wel
come' ( I I am Sunday 7 pm Thursday Bible study and
prayer 1500 NE 49th S t . Vancouver 360-885 9461
gmbear680netzero n e t) (7/03)
Outside In operates a clinic for anyone who can't
qualify for the Oregon Health Plan as well as needle
exchange services that include those who inject hor
mones Can provide transitional housing for youth 20
and younger as well as for those HIV+ and younger
than 23. Also plays host to VOICES (Voices of
Individual and Community Empowerment from the
Streets), a self support group for queer youth Needs
volunteers of all ages (10 am 6 pm Monday Friday
1132 SW 13th Ave 503 535 3800
www outsidem org 7 (7/03)
Vanguard Youth Sarvicas a program of Cascadia
Behavioral Healthcare, offers support and recreation to
gay. lesbian, bi and trans kids 23 and younger
Programs include Clackamas County Sexual
Minority Youth Connection (COSMYC) pro
vides opportunities for queer and questioning kids to
get together for free, fun and supportive social activi
ties. Also one-on one support and referrals to
Clackamas County service providers (503-969-0060
cosmycyouth@yahoo c o m ) Expression is a free
art/expression support group in Gresham for queer
youth Hang out and have fun every Fnday1 (Jonathan
5038729664. ext 28 7(7/03)
Pride Project bnngs together Washington County
queer and questioning youth to plan and attend monthly
social events Also information, referral and advocacy
services in Washington County (Molly 503-260-5792
molly@pndeproiect org 7(7/03)
Sexual Minority Youth Recreation Center
(SMYRC) offers drop-in computer access, pool tables
and an informal place to hang out Weekly youth sup
port groups includes Trans Youth Group and Personal
Deity Proxy (a creative group) (4 8 pm Monday and
Wednesday. 4 pm-midnight Fnday and Saturday
2100 SE Belmont St 503 8729664 TTY
503-231 9286 www smyrc org 7 (7/03)
Youth HIV/STD Prevention Project provides fun
and educational programs along with counseling and
testing to queer youth in a fnendly. relaxed environ
ment (5038729664)01/03)
Washington Youth
Triple Point offers education, support and advocacy
to gay. lesbian, bi. trans and questioning youth m
Vancouver. Wash Meets 6-8 pm Tuesdays m the base
ment of Youth House. 1112 Columbia St m Vancouver
(John 360695 7325 7(7/03)
Willamette Valley: Youth
Gey, Lesbian, Bi, Transgender and Questioning
Youth Group for ages 13 to 18 offers support, «for
mation and fun « Eugene Free, confidential adult fac*
tated (Drop m 4 6 pm Fnday Amazon Community
Center 2700 FUyard St 541684 3466) (7/03)
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgander Youth
Group lor ages 25 and younger meets every Monday
«Eugene (5 pm Komoma Center. 1414 Kincaid St
541346-1734 7(7/03)
Post-coital personalities
Sometimes it’s your own fault you’re single
D ear M s . B ehavior :
I’m a 44-year-ol(J
lesbian who has been
single for the past
decade. 1 meet lots of
attractive, interesting
women, and sometimes
l date them.
But the problem
comes after having sex
with them. After sex, 1
feel happy and calm,
knowing that they are
interested in me and
that now the real get
ting to know each
other is about to begin.
Inevitably, this is exactly the time
that my would-be calm, attractive,
interesting date turns into Dr. Lesbian
Jekyll and starts getting antsy and ner
vous and insistent that 1 don’t like her
enough. 1 find this crazy. Would I have
slept with her if 1 weren’t interested/
I don’t understand this post-coital
anxiety, and it works to drive me away.
I’m turned off by the calling and the
questions and the blatant insecurity.
These women accuse me of being cold
when really what happens is 1 get put off
by their constant need for reassurance.
Is it me? Or is it them?
— Ms. Hyde from Start to Finish
D ear M s . H yde :
Lesbians (and perhaps even other
creatures) in the early stages of dating
fall into two groups: those who expe
rience relief after having sex with
someone new and those who experi
ence anxiety after having sex with
someone new.
The Relief-After-Sex girl— who is
anxious before the boffing occurs and
works very hard to get her date to
like her— relaxes and laughs after she
gets laid. “She must really like me!”
she hums. This change of mood hor
rifies the Anxiety-After-Sex girl, who
doesn’t begin to put her emotions on
the line until after she shucks off her
panties.
So, Anxiety Girl gets sweaty and
nervous because she’s just engaged in
a meaningful act and now Relief Girl
is seemingly no longer engaged.
Anxiety Girl starts to analyze Relief
Girl’s every gesture: “Why didn’t she
call me yet? What does it mean that
she slept with her back toward me?
She’s not looking at me as much as
she used to," etc.
This disturbs Relief Girl. She does
not like to be Icxiked at or analyzed,
and, in reality, she’s frightened of inti
macy. So she withdraws even more,
which perpetuates the cycle. She
begins to think Anxiety Girl may be a
stalker and stops returning her calls.
Now Anxiety Girl is hurt and con
fused and seeks extra therapy. Or, if
she doesn’t seek extra therapy, she
begins to wait outside Relief Girl’s
house, until it dawns on her that she
is, indeed, behaving like a stalker.
So, Ms. Hyde, there are two ways
to avoid this problem: 1) Stay in
therapy long enough to figure out
why you fear intimacy and what you
can do about it or 2)
Stick with your own
kind and out-distance
one another into the
sunset.
O f course, your
current cat-and-mouse
pattern probably
serves you in some
way, so it will likely be
a hard habit to break.
D ear M s . B ehavior :
About three
months ago a male
reader asked you
about lesbians’ poten
tial problem with “man smell.” I’m a
lesbian but have never heard of such
a thing and could not tell whether
your answer to him was humorous or
serious!
I have both gay men and straight
men as friends and have never
noticed a “man smell.” You suggest
the men might shave their body hair
in order to be let into th^ women’s
house. Does this happen? Were you
kidding?
— Christine (Gay woman who likes
men as they are...)
D ear C hristine :
You haven’t noticed the man
smell problem? Perhaps you haven’t
heard that a small, but significant,
percentage of lesbians have a defec
tive olfactory gene, which renders
their sense of smell useless after expo
sure to certain elements.
These scent-robbing elements
include: tongue piercing, lesbian love
juice, folk music, men’s cologne, hik
ing and vibrating sex toys. Have you
been affected?
Actually, Ms. Behavior was sur
prised by how many readers wrote in
to object to her tongue-in-cheek sug
gestion that the men shave their body
hair in attempt to be more suitable
guests. She even received a nasty dia
tribe from a gay man who ranted on
and on about the smell of menstrual
hlood. (How would he know what
menstrual blood smells like?)
Ms. Behavior was merely fondly
poking fun at the reader who posed
the question about why he wasn’t
invited to the lesbians’ bridge game
and at his own suggestion that it
might be his “man smell.”
To clear the air, Ms. Behavior here
by announces that she embraces men
and their odors. She does not believe
they need to remove their body hair
to be acceptable guests and does not
support the efforts of the dyke vigi
lante groups who have recently held
down and waxed innocent gay men.
This is not helpful, ladies! JT1
© Meryl Cohn 2003
M eryl C ohn is the author of Do What
I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay
and Lesbian Etiquette (Houghton
Mifflm). Her Internet site is
www.mshehavior.com. Send questions or
correspondence to msbehawnQanl com.