__________________novamhar 1, 2QCP J m * ■ —[33
ADVICE
............... ▼ ................
Marionbarry Salon m eets m onthly in Salem fo r
th e 11 am w orship service (2400 NE Broadway
First Congregational Church. United Church of Christ,
potlucks and discussion o f books touching on th e le s
5 0 3 -2 8 1 -8868 mfo&mccportland. com X I I /0 2 )
holds two Sunday services, traddional and "less traditional'
in an open and affirming congregation (1220 NE 68th St .
bian, gay o r bi experience. (Cary 5 0 3 -3 6 3 6 0 3 6
Portland Center for Spiritual Growth in the Unity
manonberrysalon@aol. com. > (1 1 /0 2 )
Church building invites you to celebrate your spmtuality
Vancouver 360893-1476 vanuccQao!com.)(11/02)
Team Oregon organizes a th le te s to p a rtic ip a te in
w ith the Revs Casey and Berdell M offett-C haney Liberal,
God's Holy Territory offers a spm t-filled w orship
the G ay G am es Nov. 2-9. 2002. in Sydney. A ustra lia
practical, all are welcome. (5 pm Sunday service. 730-9
expenence. seeking G od lo r holiness and w holeness
If you w ant to p a rticip a te in the opening and closing
events, you m ust be pa rt o f Team O regon
pm Monday Spmtual Pnnciple Gab Group. 4-4 40 pm
Sunday Rescuing the Bible from the Right Wing Discussion
com e1 (11 am Sunday. 7 pm Thursday Bible study and
(w w w team oregonusa com ) (11 /0 2 )
Group 4525 SE Stark Ave 503 777-0727 > (11 /02 )
prayer 1500 NE 49th St.. Vancouver 360-885 9461
Portland Church of Reiigioua Science is a liberal,
SPIRITUALITY
Metro: Spirituality
ing, change your life! (1 0 am Sunday meditation. 1030am
(10 am Sunday 4505 E 18th S t . Vancouver
service and junior church. 6 30 pm Wednesday prayer cir
360-695-1891.) (1 1 /0 2 )
cle 3983 NE 112th Ave. 503-261 0677.) (1 1/02 )
Portland Radical Faerie* m eet tw ice a m onth w ith
m ultiracial, m ulticultural, open and affirm ing church
potlucks and circles at the full moon and the new
m oon O pen to all men seeking alternative spiritual
Sunday w orship is at 10 am; church school fo r children
grow th and com m unity. C offe e hours s ta rt 9 30 am
runs concurrently (2941 N E Ainsw orth S t
503-284-8767 aucc& teleport com .) (11 /0 2 )
Saturdays at 3 Fnends C offeehouse. 201 SE 12th Ave
(5 0 3 2 3 5 0 8 2 6 o tte r@ p c e z c o m X 1 1102)
Anawim Community o f gay men m eets w eekly fo r
C hnstian m editation and prayer. (7:30 pm Thursday
S is te r S p ir it o ffe rs w om en's spm tuality celebrations,
503-281 0722 > (1 1 /0 2 )
discussion groups, a drum m ing circle, w orkshops and
classes Schedule o f events available A ll wom en are
Compassionate Heart Sangha plays host to
w elcom e (Suite 102. 3430 SE B elm ont S t Mailing
w eekly sitting s in the V ipassana M e ditation Tradition at
address: PO Box 9246. Portland. OR 97207.
Flanders House. (7 30-9 pm Wednesday 29 26 NE
ices 8:15 pm Friday and 9 am S aturday (2900 S W
Willamette Valley: Spirituality
First Congregational Church United Church of
C hrist is an open and affirm ing congregation offenng wor-
shp and church school Child care provided and wheel
chair accessible (9 am Sunday learning hour. 10 am wor-
shp. 700 Manon St N E Salem 5 0 3 3 6 3 3 6 6 0 X 1 1 /0 2 )
Morning side United Methodist Church is a recon
ciling congregation where everyone is welcome to partici
pate m the full We of the congregation (8 30 and 11 am
Sunday 3674 12th St. SE. Salem 503-364 5 0 1 3 X 1 1/02)
503 736-3297. sistersp& teleport com .) (1 1/02 )
Flanders St. Jon 503-239-5539 ) (1 1 /0 2 )
gressive C onservative Jew ish synagogue, extends a
warm w elcom e to all sexual m ino rities Shabbat serv
gmbear68@netzero n e t) (11 /0 2 )
Michael Servetus Unitarian Universalist
Fellowship a home fo r the liberal religious spint
Ainsworth United Church of Christ is a
Congregation Neveh Shalom, an open and p ro
Sex pi g seeks help
after gas mask, saran wrap episode
For gay, lesbian, bi. trans and straight Everyone w el
everyone to discover the spmt w ithin Change your think
open, progressive New Thought com munity welcom ing
Spirit Circle is fo r lesbian, bisexual or transgendered
wom en seeking a w elcom ing com m unity in the C atholic
church M eets every third Thursday in the N ativity
S chool o f S t. A ndrew 's C hurch (7 pm. 806 NE Alberta
S t lbtspintcircle@ yahoo.com.) (5 /0 3 )
Sacred Souls honors aU sacred paths, prom otes peace
and strives to create an environment that supports and
prom otes interfaith dialogue M eets at the Oregon School
o f Massage. (6 30-8 pm Sunday 440 Ferry St SE, Salem
wholhlth@aolcom www sacredsoulsorg.H I1 /0 2 )
Peaceful la n e . 50 3 2 4 6 -8 8 3 1 .)(1 1 /0 2 )
Congregation P'nai O r (Faces o f L igh t) is a vibrant,
egalitanan. Jew ish Renewal congregation in P ortland
M eets several tim es a m onth in vanous locations
Southm initer Presbyterian Church is a chal
lenging. supportive com m unity that w elcom es all peo
ple It is th e firs t M ore Light Presbyterian Church in
Sunday 122 50 S W Denney Road. Beaverton
503-248-4500 w w w pnaiorpdx o r g ) (1 1 /0 2 )
(5 03-262-6947) (1 1 /0 2 )
Metro: Youth
503-644-2073. staff@southmm.com.) ( 11/02)
Flavors, a program o f M ultiQ ueer and Brother to
S t Andrew Catholic Church invites all to join a
diverse faith com munity fo r prayer and fellowship. (9:30 am
Brother, is a social support group fo r sexual rmnonty
youth o f color 24 and younger M eets every other
Eastrose Fellowship Unitarian Universalist. a w el
Sunday 806 NE Alberta St 503 2814429.) (11102)
coming congregation, offers Sunday service and children's
St. Jam es Lutheran Church, a R econciled in
ities (Des 503-228-3892 o r des@lmfamily org Stephan
C hnst congregation, w elcom es all people fo r traditional,
503-417-7991 o r hey_stephan@hotmail com.) (1 1/02)
religious education (10 30 am 1 I3 3 N E 181st Ave .
Gresham 503-665-2628 eastrose@teleport com.) (5 /0 3 )
I
O regon Sunday school and nursery care. (10 am
(PO Box 42187. Portland. OR 97 242 0 1 8 7 .
Dignity Portland m eets fo r M ass on Sundays.
YOUTH
Sunday fo r food and socializing Regular events and activ
litu rg ica l w orship w here we expenence G od's re concil
The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education
Network (G LS E N ) fights to end anti-gay bias in K -12
schools. (12700 S W North Dakota St.. Suite 180.
4129. Tigard. OR 97223. 503-525-1177.
glsen@glsenoregon org www glsenoregon o r g ) (11/02)
MultiQueer a program o f Love M akes a Family, pro
vides advocacy to sexual m inonty youth O ffers
resources and support in the com m unity and the school
system s, w ith a focus on support fo r youth o f color
(Des 503-228 3892. des@lm family org.) (1 1 /0 2 )
Outside In operates a clinic fo r anyone who can't quali
fy fo r the O regon Health Plan as w ell as needle
exchange services that include those who inject hor
mones Can provide transitional housing for youth 20
and younger as w ell as fo r those HIV+ and younger than
23. A lso plays host to VOICES (Voices o f Individual and
Com m unity Empowerment from the S treets), a
self support group fo r queer youth Needs volunteers of
all ages (10 am-6 pm Monday-Fnday 1132 S W 13th
A ve 503-535-3800 wwwoutsx/ein o r g X I I / 0 2 )
Vanguard Youth Services a program o f Cascadia
Behavioral HealthCare. offers support and recreation to
gay. lesbian, bi and trans kids 23 and younger Programs
include Clackamas County Sexual Minority
Youth Connection (C O S M Y C ) provides opportune
ties fo r queer and questioning kids to get together for
Faith United Methodist Church is a welcom ing com
ing love th a t sets all people fre e (9 and 11 am Sunday
free, fun and supportive social activities A lso one-on-one
munity o f Chnstians in Troutdale that values and encour
ages all people m finding a place o f belonging in the fam ily
1315 S W Park Ave 503-227-2439.)(11102)
support and referrals to Clackamas C ounty service
providers (503-969-0060 cosmycyouth@yahoocom.)
of God Sunday worship at 1015 am. Adult Education at
9 am; children and youth at 10; 30 am W ednesday Prayers
6-6 30 pm (27400 SE Stark S t 503661-4520 )111/02)
First Unitarian Church o f Portland is an open and
affirm ing hberal religious com m unity offenng a wide range
of programs to nurture spiritual grow th com m unity and
social justice Sunday service 10 am. (1 011 S W 12th Ave
503 228-6389 www firstunitananportland.org) (11/02)
First United Methodist Church o f P ortland, a wel
com ing and reconciling congregation, believes no one
is le ft ou t in G od's fam ily. Sexual m ino rity potlucks held
m onthly (10 30 am Sunday 183 8 S W Jefferson S t
Gay and Lesbian Outreach (G A L O ) o f S t Philip
N eri C atholic C hurch celebrates an affirm ing M ass fo l
low ed by a social (7 3 0 pm Fnday Paulist Center.
Friday1 (Jonathan 503 872 9664, ext 28 ) Pride
Project bnngs together W ashington County queer and
2 4 0 8 S E 16 thA ve 503-231-4 9 5 5 X 11 /02)
St. Stephen's Episcopal Church has been w el
questioning youth to plan and attend m onthly social
com ing all people since 1863 (12 10 pm W ednesday
events Also inform ation, referral and advocacy services
and 7 4 5 and 10 am Sunday Sunday school and child
m W ashington C ounty (Molly 503-260-5792
mo4y@pndeproject o r g ) Sexual Minority Youth
care a t 10 am Southwest 13th Avenue at Clay S treet
50 3 2 2 3 6 4 2 4 ) ( 11 /02)
Recreation Center (SM Y R C ) offers drop-m com put
Waverty Heights Church (U C C ) is open and
er access, pool tables and an inform al place to hang out
W eekly youth support groups includes Trans Youth Group
affirm ing w ith w orship, children's school and child care
(10 am Sunday 3300 SE W oodward S t 5 0 3 238 -13 37
w w w waverlyucc o rg.) (1 1/02 )
503-228-3195 w w w fu m c p d x o rg X 11 /0 2 )
Grace Space is a N ew Thought sp iritu a l ce n te r d e di
cated to offenng w ays to expenence S pint. Sunday
evening celebrations w ith Rev. S tephanie Torres.
C onscious B reathing experiences. C hanting, Healing
S ervices. M editation classes and a m iracles study
group (5 pm Bndgeport C om m unity Church. 621 NE
Wy'east Unitarian Universalist Congregation is
(Bruce Mason. Regional D irecto r 5 0 3 2 8 6 9 1 11 o r
bwcepdxor@ attbi com w w w mtegntyusa o r g ) ( 1 1 /0 2 )
Interfaith Spiritual Center houses spm tual direc
Monday and Wednesday. 4 pm-mxJmght Fnday and
Saturday 2100 SE Belmont St 503-8729664 TTY
503 -231-9286 www smyrc o rg ) Youth HIV/STD
Prevention Project provides fun and educational pro
generational services and religious education fo r children
grams along w ith counseling and testing to queer youth in
It w elcom es gay. lesbian, bi and trans members. N urtures
a friendly, relaxed environm ent (503-8729664 X 1 1/02)
spiritual grow th and prom otes living by Unitarian
U niversalist principles (4 pm Sunday 3915 SE Steele S t
503 777-3704 www w y e a stp n w d u u a o n g )(11/02)
Washington Youth
Zion United Church of Christ, an open and
Integrity is a group o f GLBT Episcopalians and
and Personal D eity Proxy (a creative group) (4-8 pm
an open and liberal religious com m unity offenng inter
76th Ave 503-28 7-3 216 .)(1 1/02 )
friends Vanous locations throughout O regon
Expression is a free art/expressxxi support group m
Gresham fo r queer youth Hang out and have fun every
affirm ing congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, bi. trans
and heterosexual people w ho w ish to w orship m a
C hrist-cente red , warm , caring, m u ltia ge/race/cu ltura l
fa ith com m unity (11 am Sunday 2025 NE 2 3 rd A v e .
Gresham 5 0 3 6 6 5 8741 > 0 1 /0 2 )
Triple Point o ffers education, support and advocacy
to gay. lesbian, b*. trans and questioning youth m
Vancouver. W ash M eets 6-8 pm Tuesdays in the base
m ent o f Youth House. 1112 Colum bia S t in Vancouver
(John 3 6 0 8 9 5 1 3 2 5 X 1 1 /0 2 )
to rs from vanous w orld religious tra d itio n s, w ho are
available fo r guidance, classes and re tre a ts (Second
Floor. 3910 SE 11th Ave 50 3 233-2026. ext 3
w w w mterfaithspmtualcenter com .) (11 /0 2 )
Metanoia Peace Community United Method let
Church is a "house church." bnngmg gay and straight
together (Daly prayer 7 2 0 am. Sunday gathering 5 pm
2116 NE 18th Ave 5 0 3 2 8 1 3 6 9 7
Willamette Valley: Youth
Washington Spirituality
Abundant Life Center is A N ew Thought
C om m unity fo r spm tual aw akening and transform ing
lives through love A safe place w here children learn to
em body spm tual pn ncples (10 am Sunday 10006 NE
Ninth A v e . Vancouver 3 6 0 -5 7 3 2 6 2 6 X 1 1 /0 2 )
www tearsoup com/metancxa) (11/02)
C m m S L# ______________ I I - I a - J
m
Metropolitan Com munity Church of Portland
holds ecum enical Sunday m orning w orstxp services at
9 and 11 am Sunday school fo r children is held during
i
V a n c o u v e r u n itO Q
1 1 ■ i t i n i l i a « P k i i M ^ k ic
iT f o T n o o ie i v n u r c n
reconciling and w elcom ing (10 am Sunday
5701 M acArthur B h d 360-693 4761
ourclarkcounty Columbian c o m /2 7 3 /X \ 1/0 2)
io
Gay, Lesbian, BI, Transgender and Questioning
Youth Group fo r ages 13 to 18 offers support, infer
matron and fun xi Eugene Free, confidential, adult fe e *
tated (Drop n 4 8 pm Fnday Amazon Community
Center. 2700 H4yard S t 5 4 1 8 8 4 3 4 6 6 X 1 1 /0 2 )
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgander Youth
G roup fo r ages 25 and younger m eets every M onday
xi Eugene (5 pm Komotna Center. 1414 Kincaid St.
541 3 4 & I I 3 4 ) (1 1/02 )
Absolution
D ear M s . B ehavior :
I’m not a proctol
ogist (at least not by
formal training), but
as a gay man in my
extremely early 40s,
I’ve had many first
hand experiences
with an amazing vari
ety of assholes.
These “exams”
have invariably
delighted my gra
ciously accommodat
ing partners.
However, a recent
sexual episode has
convinced me that I
need the advice of someone who has
her finger on the pulse of gay ethics
and morals.
My quandary: Last week after
immobilizing a very recent (instant)
acquaintance with duct tape and
clamping a gas mask over his face
(not my scene, hut I try to he accom
modating), I noticed a strange irregu
larity in my trick’s
rectum— a ridged
bump just beyond
the prostate.
Mentioning this
suspicious growth at
the point of discov
ery would have
mined the atmos
phere that the sling,
mirrors, saran wrap,
50 feet of rope and
three lengths of
chain had taken sev
eral hours to create.
(Honestly, these
days I sometimes feel more like a
combination sailor, mechanic, fashion
consultant and interior decorator
than a sex pig.) I figured I could spill
the heans after he spilled his load.
But after I managed to cut the
duct tape off his torso, take the gas
mask from his face and introduce
myself, I had second thoughts about
my diagnosis. I was honestly con
cerned for his health, but I am not a
physician, and I didn’t want to min
the remnants of his summer vacation
needlessly with anxious thoughts of
colon cancer. I figured I’d have him
jot down his e-mail address and per
haps suggest via the Internet that he
make an appointment with a qualified
physician in his hometown.
Unfortunately, I didn’t notice the
illegibility of his handwriting until
mid-afternoon of the next day, three
hours after his plane flew exit of the
local airport. (I think the cotton swabs
dipped in head cleaner that he insisted
I shove into the gas mask tube must
have affected his motor skills.)
“Sex Pig Kevin in D.C.” is vague
search criteria even for Google, so I
fear locating him may he as unlikely
as G.W. Bush finding his ass with
both hands. I’m worried for my
new...friend. I feel guilty, hut I don’t
know what to do.
My motto has always been “make
the world a happier
place— one ass at a
time.” Somehow 1
feel that I’ve failed
my mission in a most
elemental way.
I’m not sure if I’m
looking to you for
absolution or per
haps asking you to
warn others of the
negative effects of
saran wrap, or head
cleaner, or duct tape,
or faulty penmanship
or a combination of
all the above. I’m in
your hands.
— Guilt-ridden
D ear G uilt - ridden :
Glearly, Ms. Behavior needs to
write an etiquette manual for sex pigs.
Since many of you are gentlemen
who are very concerned with the hap
piness of your partners, you need
detailed instruction on gracious ways
to proceed in
these delicate
circumstances.
Upon discover
ing your date’s rec
tal irregularity, you
should have cut
off his oxygen sup
ply until he lost
consciousness and
etched your best
guess at his proc
tology diagnosis
into his buttocks
(backward) with a
razor.
Upon awakening, the painful skin
of his rump would have caused your
date to look in the minor, where he
would see the crusty scab detailing your
medical opinion. He’d immediately
know that: a) you’re a loving, con
cerned man, h) you’re a skilled diagnos
tician, and c) his ass is safe with you.
O f course, hindsight is of little use
now, so you’ll have to think of anoth
er way to contact him.
You might try placing an ad in the
personal pages of a few D.C.-area gay
publications, saying something like,
“Kevin, who likes gas masks and duct
tape, it’s very important that you con
tact me.” Then leave your e-mail
address and hope that he’ll follow
through.
O f course, you’ll probably have to
weed through countless responses
from other men who long to he
restrained and gassed, hut that’s the
price you’re hound to pay for your
lack of thoroughness during this
recent encounter.
Mentioning this
suspicious growth
at the point of
discovery would
have ruined the
atmosphere
that../had taken
several hours
to create
in
© Meryl Cohn 2002
MERYL C ohn is the author of Do What I
Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay and
Lesbian Etiquette (Houghton Mifflin).
Her Internet site is uHvut.mshehavior.com.
Send questions or correspondence to
msbehavicn@aol.com.