October lfl. 2002
ADVICE
............T ............
www conHuencechorus. orp.) (11 /02)
The Eugene Lesbien/Gey/Bisexuel 20«/30*
Social Club enjoys a w eekly gam e night and brunch
every Su n day at Brail s. (Bnan 541 -48 5-3437.) ( 1 1/02)
The Lesbian Connection CTLC) m eets once a month
for potlucks and other various fun activities in Eugene. All
women welcome. (Bonnie 5 4 1 ^ 8 3 -2 7 9 3 .)(11/02)
Marion berry Salon m eets m onthly in Salem for
potlucks and d iscu ssio n of b o o k s touching on the le s
service and junior church. 6:30 pm W ednesday prayer cir
(1 2 2 0 N E 68th S t . Vancouver 360 -69 3-1476
cle. 398 3 N E 112th Ave. 503 261-0677.H \ 1/02)
vanucc@ aoi com .) (11/02)
Portland Radical Faeries meet twice a m onth with
God's Holy Territory offers a spint-filled w orship
potlucks and circles at the full m oon and the new
experience, seeking G o d for holiness and w holeness.
m oon. O pen to all men seeking alternative spintual
For gay. lesbian, bi. trans and straight Everyone w el
grow th and com m unity C offee hours start 9:30 am
com e! ( I I am Sunday. 7 pm Thursday Bible study and
Satu rdays at 3 Friends Coffeehouse. 201 S E 12th Ave.
prayer 1 5 0 0 N E 49th St.. Vancouver 3 6 0 8 8 5 -9 4 6 1 .
gm bear68@ netzero net.) (11/02)
(503-235-0826. otter@ pcez c o m ) ( 11/02)
SisterSpirit offers w om en's spirituality celebrations,
d iscu ssio n groups, a drum m ing circle, w orksh ops and
Michael Sonretus Unitarian Universalist
Fellowship. a hom e for the liberal religious spirit.
bian. gay or bi experience. (C a ry 503 -36 3 6 0 3 6
m anonberrysalon@ aol.com .) (1 1 /02)
cla sse s. Schedule o f events available All w om en are
(10 am Su n d a y 4 5 0 5 E 18th St.. Vancouver
welcom e. (Suite 102. 3 4 3 0 S E Belm ont St. M ailing
3 6 0 -6 9 5 -1 8 9 1 .)(11/02)
Team Oregon organizes athletes to participate in the
ad d re ss P O B o x 9246. Portland. O R 97207.
Gay Gam es Nov. 2-9. 2002. in Sydney. Australia. If you
5 0 3 736-3297 sistersp @ teleport.com .H U 102)
want to participate m the opening and closing events, you
must be part of Team Oregon, (www tearuuregonusa.vonv
( 11 / 02 )
Spirit Circle is for lesbian, bisexual or transgendered
w om en seeking a w elcom ing com m unity in the Catholic
church. M e e ts every third Thursday in the Nativity
SPIRITUALITY
S ch o o l of St. A n d re w 's C hurch (7 pm. 8 0 6 N E Alberta
S t lbtspm tcircle@ yahoo.com .) (5/03)
Ainsworth United Church of Christ is a multi
racial. multicultural, open and affirm ing church. Sunday
w orship is at 10 am; church school for children runs
concurrently (2941 N E Ainsw orth St. 503-284-8767.
aucc@teleport. com .) (11 /02)
Christian m editation ancf prayer (7:30 pm Thursday
5 0 3 -2 8 1 -0 7 2 2 ) (11 /02)
10 am w orship 700 M ahon St. NE. Salem .
O regon. Su n day school and nursery care. (10 am
Sunday. 12250 S W D e n n ey Road. Beaverton
503-644-2073. staff@ southm in.com .) (11/02)
St. Andrew Catholic Church invites all to join a
diverse faith com m unity for prayer and fellow ship
Morningside United Methodist Church is a rec
onciling congregation where everyone is w elcom e to
participate in the full life of the congregation (8:30 and
11 am Sunday. 3 6 7 4 12th St. SE. Salem .
5 0 3 -3 6 4 -5 0 1 3 )0 1 / 0 2 )
Sacred Souls honors aH sacred paths, prom otes peace
( 11 / 02 )
and strives to create an environment that supports and
prom otes interfaith dialogue. M eets at the O regon School
St. Jam as Lutheran Church, a Reconciled in
of M assage. (6:30-8 pm Sunday. 440 Ferry St. SE. Salem
wholhlth@aol.com. w w w .sacredsouls.org.)(11/02)
liturgical w orship w here w e experience G o d 's reconcil
ing love that se ts all people free. (9 and 11 am Sunday.
Flanders H ouse. (7.30-9 pm W ednesd ay 2 9 2 6 N E
1315 S W Park Ave. 5 0 3 -2 2 7 243 9.) (11102)
H anders St. Jo n 503 -23 9-5539.) (11 /02)
Gay and Lesbian Outreach (G ALO ) of St. Philip
Congregation Neveh Shalom, an open and pro
N e n C atholic C hurch celebrates an affirm ing M a ss fol
gre ssive C onservative Jew ish synagogue, extends a
low ed by a social (7:30 pm Friday Paulist Center.
warm w elcom e to all sexual m inorities Shabbat se rv
2 4 0 8 S E 16th Ave. 5 0 3 -23 1-4955 ) 0 1/02)
ices 8:15 pm Friday and 9 am Saturday. (2 9 0 0 S W
St. Stephan's Episcopal Church has been wel
Peaceful Lane 5 0 3 -2 4 6 -8 8 3 ;.2(11 /02)
w heelchair accessible. (9 am Su n d a y learning hour,
503-363-3660.) ( 11/02)
C h rist congregation, w elcom es all people for traditional,
Com passionate Heart Sangha plays host to
w eekly sittings in the V ip assan a M editation Tradition at
w orship and church school Chjjd care provided and
lenging. supportive com m unity that w elcom es all peo
(9 3 0 am Sunday. 8 0 6 N E Alberta St. 503-281-4429.)
Anawim Community of gay men m eets w eekly for
First Congregational Church. United C hurch of
C hrist is an open and affirming congregation offering
Southm instsr Presbyterian Church is a chal
ple. It is the first M o re Light Presbyterian C hurch in
Metro: Sp iritu ality
W illamette Valley: Sp iritu ality
Metro: Youth
Flavors, a program of M uKiQ ueer and Brother to
Brother, is a social support group for sexual mmonty
youth of color 24 and younger M eets every other
Congregation P'nai O r (Face s of Light) is a
Sunday for food and socializing. Regular events and activ
vibrant, egalitarian. Jew ish Renew al congregation in
ities. (D e s 503-228-3892 or des@ lm family org. Stephan
Portland. M e e ts several tim es a m onth in various loca
503-417-7991 o r hey_stephan@hotm ail com .) (11/02)
tions. (P O B o x 42187. Portland. O R 9 7 2 4 2 -0 1 8 7
Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education
Network (G LSEN ) fights to end anti-gay bras m K-12
The
503 -24 8-4500 www pnaiorpdx o r g )(1 1 /02)
Dignity Portland m eets for M a s s on Su n d a ys
schools. (12 7 0 0 S W North D akota St.. Suite 180.
(503-262-6947.) (11102)
4129. Tigard. O R 97223. 503-525-1177.
glsen@ glsenoregonorg. w w w glsenoregon.org.)(11/02)
Eastrose Fellowship Unitarian Universal!«!, a
w elcom ing congregation, offers Su n day service and
MultiQuoar a program "of Love M a ke s a Family, pro
children's religious education at 10:30 am. (1 1 3 3 N E
181st Ave.. G resham 503-665-2628. eastro se @
vides advocacy to sexual m inority youth. O ffers
teleport com .) (11 /02)
system s, with a focu s on support for youth of color.
resources and support in the com m unity and the school
(D e s 503 -22 8-3892 des@ lm fam ily.org.)(11/02)
Faith United Methodist Church is a w elcom ing
com m unity of C hristians in Troutdale that values and
Outside In operates a clinic for anyone w ho can't
encourages all people in finding a place of belonging in
qualify for the O regon Health Plan a s well a s needle
the family of G od Su n day w orship at 10:15 am; Adult
exchange services that include those w ho inject hor
Education at 9 am; children and youth at 10 30 am.
m ones. C an provide transitional housing for youth 20
W ednesday Prayers 6-6 30 pm. (2 7 4 0 0 S E Stark St.
and younger a s well a s for those H IV + and younger than
5 0 3 -6 6 1 -4 5 2 0 ) (11/02)
23. A lso plays host to V O IC E S (V oices of Individual and
Com m unity Em powerm ent from the Streets), a
First Unitarian Church o f Portland is an open and
self-support group for queer youth. N e e ds volunteers of
affirming liberal religious com m unity offenng a wide
all ages. (10 am -6 pm M onday-Friday 1132 S W 13th
Ave. 503-53 5-3800 www outsidein.org.) (11/02)
range of program s to nurture spiritual growth,
com m unity and social justice. Su n d ay service 10 am.
Vanguard Youth Sarvicas. a program of C ascadia
(1011 S W 12th A ve 503-228-6389.
w ww hrstunitananportland.org.) (11/02)
Behavioral HealthCare. offers support and recreation to
gay. lesbian, bi and trans kids 23 and younger. Program s
include Clackamas County Saxuai Minority
First United Methodist Church of Portland, a
w elcom ing and reconciling congregation, believes no
one is left out in G o d 's family. Sexual m inority potlucks
held monthly. (10.30 am Sunday. 1838 S W Jefferson
St. 503-228-3195. w ww .fum cpdx.org.)(\ 1/02)
Youth Connection (C O S M Y Q provides opportuni
The work of gay artist Mike Walsh is at
Corvallis Arts Center through Oct. 30
evening celebrations with Rev. Stephanie Torres.
C o n sc io u s Breathing experiences. Chanting. Healing
Services. Meditation c la sse s and a m iracles study
group. (5 pm. Bridgeport Com m unity Church. 621 N E
76th Ave. 5 0 3 2 8 7 -3 2 1 6 .H W 0 2 )
Integrity is a group of G L B T Episcopalians and
fnends V an ou s locations throughout O regon. (Bruce
M ason. Regional Director 5 0 3 -2 8 6 -9 1 1 1 o r brucepdx-
oi@ attbi.com . www integntyusa org.) (1 1 /02)
Interfaith Spiritual Center h o u se s spintual direc
tors from vanous w orld religious traditions, w ho are
available for guidance, c la sse s and retreats. (Se co n d
Floor. 3 9 1 0 S E I Ith A ve 5 0 3 233-2026. ext. 3.
www m terfaithspmtualcenter com. 2(11 /02)
Meta no ia Peace Community United
Methodist Church is a "h o u se church." bringing
gay and straight together. (Daily prayer 7:20 am.
Su n d a y gathenng 5 pm. 2 1 1 6 N E 18th A ve
5 0 3 281 3 6 9 7 w ww tearsoup. com /m etanoia. 2(11/02)
Expression is a free art/expression support group in
and 7:45 and 10 am Su n d a y Su n d a y sch o o l and child
Gresham for queer youth Hang out and have fun every
care at 10 am. Southw est 13th A venue at C la y Street.
503 -22 3-6424.) (11/02)
Friday! (Jonathan 503 -87 29664. ext. 28.) Prido
Projoct brings together W ashington County queer and
Waeeriy Heights Church (UCC) is open and
affirm ing with w orship, children's school and child care.
questioning youth to plan and attend monthly social
(1 0 am Su n d a y 3 3 0 0 S E W oodw ard S t 503 -23 8-1337
w ww w averfyucc org. 2(11 /02)
in W ashington County (M olly 503-260-5792
mo4y@pndeproject.org.) Soxuai Minority Youth
W y'east Unitarian Univarealist Congregation
er access, pool tables and an informal place to hang out.
is an open and liberal religious com m unity offering inter-
generational se rvice s and religious education for chil
W eekly youth support groups includes Trans Youth Group
events. A lso information, referral and advocacy services
Rocreotion Center (SM YR C ) offers drop-m com put
and Personal Deity Proxy (a creative group) (4-8 pm
dren. It w elcom es gay. lesbian, bi and trans members.
M onday and W ednesday. 4 pm-cmdrughl Friday arid
N urtures spiritual grow th and prom otes living by
Unitarian U niversalist pnnciples. (4 pm Su n d a y
Saturday 2 1 0 0 S E Belmont St. 503-872-9664. TTY
503-231 928 6 www smyre org.) Youth H IV/STD
3 9 1 5 S E Steele St. 503-77 7-3704
Prevention Projoct provides fun and educational pro
gram s along with counseling and testing to queer youth m
Zion United Church of Christ. an open and
a friendly, relaxed environment (503-872-9664.) (1 1/02)
affirm ing congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, bi, trans
and heterosexual people w ho w ish to w orship in a
Christ-centered, warm, caring, m ultiage/race/cultural
faith community. ( I I am Su n d a y 2 0 2 5 N E 23rd Ave..
Metropolitan Community Church of Portland
support and referrals to Clackam as County service
com ing all people since 1863. (1 2 :1 0 p m W ednesday
w w w w ye a stp n w d u u a .o rg.n i 1/02)
G resham 5 0 3 -6 6 5 -8 7 4 1 )0 1 / 0 2 )
W ashington Youth
Tripio Point offers education, support and advocacy
holds ecum enical Su n day m orning w orship se rvice s at
to gay, lesbian, bi. trans and questioning youth in
9 and 11 am Su n day school for children is held during
Vancouver, W ash. M e e ts 6-8 pm Tuesdays in the b a se
the 11 am w o rsh p service (2 4 0 0 N E Broadw ay
50 3 281 8 8 6 8 m fo@ m ccportland.com ) (11/02)
Portland Center for Spiritual Growth in the
Unity C hurch budding invites you to celebrate your spir
ituality with the R e vs C a se y and BerdeH M offett
Chaney. Liberal, practical, all are welcom e. (5 pm
Sunday service: 7:30-9 pm M onday Spintual Pnnop le
W ashington Sp iritu ality
em body spintual principles. (IO a m Su n d a y 10006 N E
Ninth A v e . Vancouver 3 6 0 5 7 3 2 6 2 6 )0 1 / 0 2 )
l a ii
5 0 3 -7 7 7 -0 7 2 7 .n \\ 1072)
5701 M acArthur B h d 3 6 0 6 9 3 4 7 6 1
ourclarkcounty Colum bian c o m / 2 7 3 / .)0 1/02)
w f R i r v f t se t
O C f w f i C R lb O R J f S f l l i
(JWtn 3 6 0 3 9 5 -1 3 2 5 ) (11/02)
Abundant U fa Canter is A N ew Thought
G ab Group: 4-4 4 0 pm Su n d a y R escu in g the Bible from
the Right W ing D iscu ssio n Group. 4 5 2 5 S E Stark A ve
rO ^ O R n O
ment of Youth H ouse. 1112 Colum bia St. in Vancouver
Com m unity for spintual aw akening and transform ing
lives through love. A safe place vAiere children learn to
V an cou ver unnvQ meinuuivi v^nuren is
reconciling and w elcom ing (1 0 am Su n day
open, progressive New Thought commuraty welcom ing
First C ongregational Church. United C hurch of
everyone to discover the sprit withm C hange your ttsnk-
ng. change your life' (10 am Sunday mediation. 10.30am
Christ, h olds two Su n d ay services, traditional and "le ss
traditional" in an open and afhm w ig congregation
Lesbian steals girlfriend away
to ru ral community
D ear M s . B ehavior :
My best friend,
Emily, finally met the
woman of her
dreams, Patricia. I’ve
met Patricia several
times and have been
shocked by her lack
of charm.
I know it can be
hard for someone
new to be accepted
in a social circle, so
I’ve tried not to be
judgmental, but
Patricia is truly hard
to like. She’s gruff,
self-centered and
cheap.
When my partner and I went to
visit them, Patricia totally controlled
the conversation, the videos we rent
ed, and what time each person could
shower. It also became clear that she
controls Emily, their mutual finances
and even the food they eat. Emily no
longer eats “dead animals” and won’t
drink alcohol any
more. (She used to
love lamb chops and
martinis.)
Even worse, Emily
is moving with
Patricia to a rural les
bian community
where they don’t
know anyone. The
new town is more affordable, accord
ing to Patricia, but I think she’s taking
Emily there so she can isolate her and
keep her under control.
Should 1 say anything to Emily? I
cannot bear the thought of her being
trapped on a farm in a town where
she doesn’t know anyone with this big
controlling loser.
— Emily’s Last Hope
W illamette Valley: Youth
Gay, Losbian, Bi, Transgandor and Quaationing
Youth Group for age s 13 to 18 offers support,
information and fun in Eugene. Free, confidential, adult
(Drop in 4-6 pm Friday Am azon Community
Center. 2700 tilyard St 541-684-3466 H11/02)
D ear E mily ’ s L ast H ope :
You can try telling Emily how you
feel, hut she probably won’t listen. If
she’s in love, it’s like being under the
influence of a powerful drug; you can’t
change someone’s mind while she’s
still high.
Telling Emily that her new girl
friend is a controlling loser too many
times— more than once or twice—
might alienate her and make it hard
for her to run back to your welcoming
bosom once she realizes her soul has
indeed been snatched.
Don’t despair, though. People
often freak out when they realize
they’ve been controlled. Sometimes
they escape from their bossy partners
abruptly and unexpectedly.
Once the spell wears off (six
months to two years, on average),
Emily will probably find her way
home to you and her beloved dead
animals and martinis. Just make sure
she stashes away enough money for
bus fare before she leaves for the farm.
facilitated
Losbian, Gay. Bisoxuai, Transgandor Youth
Group for a g e s 25 and younger m eets every M on day
in Eugene (5 pm Kcmone Center. 1414 Kincaid St
541-346-1134.) (11/02)
mother cried when I
told her I was gay,
which really hurt my
feelings. But Mom
went to therapy and
quickly grew to
accept me.
The problem is
that now she has
gone to another
extreme: Every time
she meets someone
she thinks might be
gay, she tells them
about me and how
much she loves and
accepts me.
Last week, I got
two phone calls because of my
mother. One was from a man she
met on a train. She thought he was
cute and wanted to fix us up so he
could help me decorate my apart
ment! (She said he was dressed
nicely so she was sure he’d have
good taste.) He sounded like a total
freak, and I refused to meet him.
The second call
was from Mom’s
new female hair-
cutter, who hap
pened to be wearing
a Melissa Etheridge
shirt when she cut
my mother’s hair. O f
course, my mom
asked if she was a
lesbian and once the haircutter said
yes, my mother gave her my phone
number! I had nothing to say to this
woman.
I appreciate that my mother is
proud of me and that she is overcom
pensating because she feels guilty that
she cried when 1 first told her. But I
don’t like getting e-mail and phone
calls from strangers. How can I make
my mother stop?
— Eric
If she’s In love,
It’s like being
under the
influence of a.
powerful drug
free, fun and supportive social activities. A lso one-on-one
providers (503-969-0060. cosm ycyoulhQ yahoo com .)
Grace Space is a N ew Thought spintual center dedi
cated to offenng w ays to experience Spirit. Su n d ay
ties for queer and questioning kids to get together for
Soul snatcher
D ear M s . B ehavior :
I’m a 27-year-old gay man, and I
• came out about six years ago. My
D ear E ric :
Tell your mother that you appreci
ate her support but that giving out
your number so freely leaves you open
to being pursued by weirdoes, stalkers
and people with bad taste in hair, art
and theater.
Explain that despite the message
transmitted by popular culture, not all
gay men are sweet and kind decora
tors and not all lesbians are gentle
folk singers. Send your mom news
paper clippings about serial killers
who prey on innocent homosexuals
whose mothers accept them. And try
to resist the temptation to post her
phone number on a lesbian Web site,
just to show her what it’s like out
there.
© Meryl Cohn 2002
M eryl C ohn is the author of Do What
I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay
and Lesbian Etiquette ( Houghton
Mifflm). Her Internet site is
www.msbehavior.com. Send questions or
correspondence to mshehmnor@aol .com.