3 4 )— « —
W l H . •’ IU T
A D W 1C E
RE/MAX
S ig n a t u r e
W estover H eights
P r o p e r t ie s !
C
L
I
N
I
Generation gap
C
Can a 51-year-old love a man born after Watergate?
O ffering general internal
medicine and excelling
in sexual health care
Serving the communityJor / 7 year*
2330 NW Flanders
‘ Suite 207
503-226-6678
SH A RE T H E W EA LTH
"Tina was extremely helpful to me in finding
a house for my disabled father. She
understood our needs and took care of
everything for us very quickly. Tina also iust
helped my brother, a first time buyer, find his
dream home. He is thrilled!”
D ear M s . B ehavio r :
I just met the most wonder
ful guy.
The good news: His last
husband of 3 1/2 years was
older than I am. The had
news: He is only 27 (ouch). I
am 51.
Is it possible for a relation
ship to work when the age dif
ference is so large? He said age
is just a number, hut I know it
is more than that. It is a record
of how long each of us has
been alive.
Thanks for your advice.
— Frank
D ear F r a n k :
—Jill Willuim.i
Tina Schafer
g r i . a b r
M u lti-M iliu m D o lla r Producer
RE/MAX
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o u tiq u e
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”
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The prospect of a new relationship is very
exciting. And it would he lovely if age really
were just a number. But if that were true,
Junior would not have consecutively chosen
two men who were so much older than he.
Consciously or not, he’s looking for some
thing specific that he feels he can get from some
one 2 1/2 decades his senior. (Hello, Daddy?)
Ms. Behavior sometimes receives letters from
people with intergenerational relationships that
have soured, particularly when the age differ
ence is so large. The traits that appealed to them
in the beginning now annoy them.
T he younger member of the couple com
plains that the low-key lifestyle that once felt
calming now seems tixi sedentary. T he older
member gripes that he secretly feels unable to
maintain the level
of activity his
partner needs, and
he yearns for more
sophisticated com
panionship.
For the sake of
perspective on
your compatibili
ty: Your boyfriend
candidate was
horn after W ater
gate. Rock ’n ’ roll
was virtually dead
by the time he
reached elem en
tary school. He
never had to suffer
the pain of only a
few television
channels. He
probably never
wrote a school
essay without a
computer. He reached puberty when you were
beginning middle age. By the time he was old
enough to have sex, it was never safe to do it
without a condom. Finally, by the time you
reach the age that you’ll need annual prostate
exams, your boyfriend still won’t have achieved
his full hone mass.
N one of this would matter much (you could
consider it similar to a multicultural marriage),
except that the chances of not engaging in a
father-son dynamic are practically nil. U lti
mately, your decision about whether to get
involved should include some consideration of
how you feel about that fact.
But who are we kidding? By the time you
read this, you and Junior probably will be shop
ping for N intendo for your living room.
D ear M s . B ehavio r :
I started a new job last
m onth for a small company
with 20 employees. O n my
first day, 1 was overjoyed upon
meeting Rhonda because my
gaydar went off; 1 could detect
she was a lesbian like myself.
She and 1 work on the
same project and interact reg
ularly. 1 am smitten with her,
and every day is exciting to
me because 1 know 1 will see
her and get to he near her.
1 was thinking about asking
her out on a date, hut then
last week she mentioned her
two sons to me. 1 didn’t know she had children.
T hen she told me she had a husband as well!
I was and still am crushed about this news. I
thought there was something brewing between
us, hut now 1 guess not.
Rhonda used to he in the National Guard.
Do you think th a t’s what fooled me?
I can’t believe how off base 1 was about
Rhonda. W hat do you think?
— Crushed Over Rhonda
D ear C rushed O ver R h o n d a :
News flash: M arried wom en som etim es
flirt w ith lesbians! A nd married women
(even m others!) som etim es are them selves
lesbians.
So the chemistry you felt brewing between
you and Rhonda probably was real. But that
doesn’t mean she necessarily wants to act on
it or even
acknowledge it.
She just might
enjoy the titilla-
tion of flirting
with you.
It’s also possi
ble R honda does
w ant to have an
affair with you.
But before you
get yourself
worked up about
this possibility,
Ms. Behavior
must recom
mend against
acting on it.
First, a rela
tionship in the
workplace, par
ticularly a small
office, is always
dicey. (If Rhonda
is “straight,” you quickly will gain a reputation
as the lesbian who recruits from the National
Guard.) Second, there’s the very real risk of
having your heart broken by a woman who
only wants to dabble in Sapphic love and erot
ic pleasure.
Next, consider the fact that Rhonda served
in the military. G iven that, it’s likely her hus
band did, too, or still does, in which case he’s
likely to have access to at least one gun.
As for the question of how many straight
women serve in the National Guard: Ms.
Behavior estimates there are fewer than could
fit in a Volkswagen Beetle. J H
Write your confused and conflicted heart out to
Ms. B ehavior at MsBehavinr@aol.com.