dwnwmhwf ? 1, 2001 i
ADVICE
........ v........
(204 SE Mam St . Estacada. 503-349-4245.) (5/02)
First Congregational United Church of Christ
is an open and affirming congregation in the liberal
Chnstian tradition. Sunday worship is at 10:25 am, and
church school for children runs concurrently. (1126 SW
Park Ave 503-228- 7219.) (5/02)
First Unitarian Church of Portland is an open
and affirming liberal religious community We offer a
wide range of programs to nurture spiritual growth and
community. Our Sunday services are at 9 and
10 45 am (1011 SW 12th Ave. 503-228-6389
www hrstumtananportland o rg ) (5/02)
First United Methodist Church of Portland a
welcoming and reconciling congregation, believes no
one is left out in God's family GLBT potlucks are held
monthly. (10:30 am Sunday. 1838 SW Jefferson St.
503-228-3195 www fumcpdx.org.)(5/02)
Full Circle Temple is a place of worship for women
of all ages offenng workshops, song and drum circles,
meditation rooms and altars of celebration, incorporat
ing what you bring to share. (10 am-10 pm Tuesday-
Sunday 3125 E Burnside St. 503-238-0675.) (5/02)
Grace Space, a multidenominational spiritual center
led by the Rev. Stephanie Torres, holds Sunday evening
celebrations. (5 pm. Friends o f Multnomah. 4312 SE
Stark St. 503-287-3216.) (5/02)
Integrity, the gay and lesbian ministry of the
Episcopal Church, meets on the second Fnday of each
month in the Momson Room at Tnnity Cathedral
Euchanst is celebrated at 6 45 pm followed by a
potluck and fellowship (147 N W 19th Ave
503-286-9111. www integntyusa.org.) (5/02)
Interfaith Spiritual Center. Spmtual directors from
various world religious traditions are available for guidance,
classes and retreats (Second Floor. 3910 SE 11th Ave
503-233-2026. ext 3 www.spintone.com/~isc.) (5/02)
Lincoln Street United Methodist Church is an
open and accepting congregation of progressive
Christians. (9 am Sunday 5145 SE Lincoln St.
503-231-1930) (5/02)
Metanoia Peace Community (United Methodist) is
a "house church." bnngmg gay and straight together.
(Daily prayer 7 20 am. Sunday gathering 5 pm
2116 NE 18th Ave 503-281 3697.
www.tearsoup.com/metanoia) (5/02)
Metropolitan Community Church of Portland
holds ecumenical Sunday morning worship services at
9 and 11 am Sunday school for children is held dunng
the 11 am worship service. (2400 NE Broadway.
503-281 8868 mfoQmccportland.com.) (5/02)
Portland Center for Spiritual Growth invites
you to celebrate your spirituality with the Revs. Casey
and Berdell Moffett-Chaney. Liberal, practical: all are
welcome (1030 am Sunday 4828 NE 33rd Ave
503-481 -7591.) (05/02)
Portland Radical Faeries meet twice a month with
potlucks and circles at the full moon and the new
moon Open to all men seeking alternative spiritual
growth and community. Coffee hours start 9:30 am
Saturdays at 3 Fnends Coffeehouse. 201 SE 12th Ave.
(503-235-0826 otterQpcez com.) (5/02)
Potter's House Ministries is an open, affirming,
bible-explonng congregation with specific outreach in
the gay and lesbian community. (10 45 am Sunday
3830 SE62nd Ave 503-775-5024.)(5/02)
SisterSpirit offers women's spirituality celebrations,
discussion groups, a drumming circle, workshops and
classes Schedule of events available. All women are
welcome (Suite 102. 3430 SE Belmont St Mailing
address PO Box 9246. Portland. OR 97207.
503- 736-3297 sisterspQteleport.com ) (5/02)
Southminster Presbyterian Church is a chal
lenging, supportive community that welcomes all peo
ple. It is the first More Light Presbyterian Church in
Oregon (10 am Sunday summer. 9.30 and 11 am
Sunday winter. 12250 SW Denney Road. Beaverton
503 644 2073.) (5/02)
St. James Lutheran Church, a reconciled in
Christ congregation, welcomes all people for traditional
liturgical worship (9 and 11 am Sunday 1315 SW Park
Ave. 503 227 2439 ) (5/02)
St. Philip Neri Catholic Church offers a gay-pos
itive community for Catholics and their fnends Mass at
7 30 pm Fridays followed by a social. (Paulist Center.
2408 SE 16th Ave 503-231-4955.) (5/02)
St. Stephen's Episcopal Church has been wel
coming all people since 1863 (12:10 pm Wednesday
and 7 45 and 10 am Sunday Sunday school and child
care at 10 am Southwest 13th Avenue at Clay Street
503-223-6424) (5/02)
Unity Church of Portland is an all inclusive com
munity following Christ's teachings and celebrating
diversity and truth without trappings for 75 years.
Sunday school and child care available Potluck first
Sundays. (10 am Sunday. 4525 SE Stark St.
503-234- 7441. umtyprtlndQwwdb o rg ) (5/02)
University Park United Methodist Church is a
member of the network of reconciling congregations
and meets for worship at 10 am Sundays. (4775 N
Lombard St. 503-289-7843) (5/02)
Waveriy Heights Congregational United
Church of Christ is an open and affirming communi
ty with worship, children's school and child care
(11am Sunday 3300 SE Woodward St. 503-238-1337.
www.waverlyucc.org.) (5/02)
Wy'east Unitarian Universalist Congregation
is a new. open and liberal religious community on the
inner east side of Portland offenng mtergenerational
services and religious education for children. It wel
comes members of the gay. lesbian, bi and trans com
munity. Wy'east nurtures spmtual growth and promotes
living by Unitanan Universalist pnnciples. (4 pm Sunday
3915 SE Steele St 503-777-3704
www wyeast pnwd uua org.)(5/02)
Zion United Church of Christ, an open and
affirming congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, tx. trans
and heterosexual people who wish to worship in a
Christ-centered, warm, caring, multiage/race/cultural
faith community (11 am Sunday 2025 NE 23rd A v e .
Gresham 503-665-8741.) (5/02)
Washington Spirituality
East Vancouver United Methodist Church.
Reconciling, welcoming (70 am Sunday.
5701 MacArthur Btvd 360-693-4761
ourclarkcounty. Columbian, com /273/.) (5/02)
First Congregational Church, United Church
of Christ Two Sunday services, traditional and "less
traditional" in an open and affirming congregation.
(1220 NE 68th St.. Vancouver. 360-693-1476.
vanuccQaol.com.) (5/02)
Metropolitan Community Church of the Gentle
Shepherd. (10 am every Sunday: 6 3 0 pm second and
last Sunday Suite E/F. 2200 Broadway. Vancouver
360-695 1480 MccgsQaolcom www mccgs.org.) (5/02)
Michael Servetus Unitarian Universalist
Fellowship, a home for the liberal religious spirit.
(10 am Sunday. 4505 E 18th St.. Vancouver
360-695-1891) (5/02)
Willamette Valley: Spirituality
First Congregational Church, United Church
of Christ. is an open and affirming congregation offer
ing worship and church school Child care provided.
Wheelchair accessible (10 am Sunday 700 Manon St
NE. Salem 503-363-3660 ) (5/02)
First Congregational United Church of Christ
is an inclusive Chnstian community, an open and affirm
ing church. (9 30 am Sunday summer. 10 30 am
Sunday winter 4515 S W W est Hills Road. Corvallis.
541 -75 7 8 1 2 2 ) (5/02)
Gay-Straight Alliance of the Unitarian
Universalist Congregation of Salem meets for a
potluck on the third Sunday of each month (6 pm.
5090 Center St NE 503 363-8716 ) (5/02)
Interfaith Spiritual Community meets for inspira
tional messages, children's celebrations and |oy every
Sunday at the Heart Center We honor and celebrate all
sacred paths, recognizing each person's divine gifts and
supporting spmtual growth, healing and enlightenment.
(6-730 pm 1578 Commercial St. SE. Säern.
503-763-6030.) (5/02)
Momingsida United Methodist Church is a rec
onciling congregation where everyone is welcome to
participate m the full life of the congregation (8 30 and
11 am Sunday 3674 12th St. SE. Salem
503-364-0312.) (5/02)
Sweet Spirit Metropolitan Community Church
(M C C ) holds worship at 11 am Sundays followed by
coffee and fellowship as well as potluck lunches every
second Sunday (Amencan Legion Hall. 4774 Lilac Lane
NE. Säern Mailing address Pastor Ken Ken. PO Box
12753. Salem. O R 97309 503-315-7923)(5/02)
YOUTH
Metro: Youth
Clackamas County Youth Pride provides oppor
tunities for gay. lesbian, tx, trans and questioning peo
ple 23 and younger to get together for free, fun and
supportive social activities. Also one-on-one support,
advocacy, information and referrals for Clackamas
County service providers. (503 969-0060
youth_prideQhotmail.com.) (5/02)
Expression is a free art/expression support group for
GLBT youth between 13 and 23 in Gresham Hang out
and have fun every Fnday1 Sponsored by Roots and
Branches. (Jonathan 503-872-9664. ext. 28.) (5/02)
The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education
Network fights to end anti-gay bias in K-12 schools.
(12700 SW North Dakota St.. Suite 180. *129. Tigard.
OR 97223 503-525- I I 77 or 503-936-5614
glsenorQaol com.) (5/02)
Outside In operates a clinic for anyone who can't
qualify for the Oregon Health Ran as well as a needle
exchange service that includes exchange for those who
inject hormones It also has some transitional housing
for youth 20 and younger as well as for youth who are
HIV positive and younger than 23. It also plays host to
VOICES (Voices of Individual and Community
Empowerment from the Streets), a self-support group
for queer youth (10 am-6 pm Monday-Fnday 1236 SW
Salmon St. 503-223-4121.)(5/02)
Pride Project bnngs together Washington County
lesbian, gay, tx. trans and questioning youth to plan and
attend monthly social events Also information, referral,
support and advocacy services for Washington County
(Molly 503-260-5792 mollyQpndeproiect org>.) (5/02)
Rainbow is a multicultural peer support and activity
group for gay. lesbian, tx. trans and questioning youth.
(4 30 pm Wednesday Metropolitan Community Church
o f Portland. 2400 NE Broadway 503-281 -8868) (5/02)
Sexual Minority Youth Recreation Center
(SM YRC) offers drop-in computer access, pool tables
and an informal place to hang out and plays host to
weekly youth support groups including Windfire. Trans
Youth Group and Personal Deity Proxy (a creative
group) (4-8 pm Monday and Wednesday. 4 pm-
midnight Friday and Saturday 2100 SE Belmont St.
503-872-9664 www smyrc.org.) (5/02)
Youth HIV/STD Prevention Project provides fun
and educational programs along with counseling and
testing to queer youth in a friendly, relaxed environ
ment. (503-872-9664) (5/02)
YouthNet a program of Love Makes a Family, offers
tutoring and mentoring for lesbian, gay. tx and trans
youth as well as for children of LGBT parents.
(503-227-1981.)(5/02)
Southern Oregon: Youth
Southern Oregon Youth Outreach (SO YO ). a
group for gay. lesbian, and tx youth between 14 and 20,
meets on the first and Thursdays of the month in
Ashland (541 488 69 9 0) (5/02)
Washington: Youth
Triple Point offers education, support and advocacy
to gay. lesbian, tx and trans and questioning youth m
Vancouver. Wash Meets 6-8 pm Tuesdays in the base
ment of Youth House, 1112 Columbia St in Vancouver
(John 360 695 1325) (5/02)
Willamette Valley: Youth
Gay, Leebian, Bisexual, Transgender end
Questioning Youth Group for ages 13 to 18 offers
support, information and fun Free, confidential, adult
facilitated (Drop in 4-6 pm Fnday Amazon Community
Center. 2700 Hilyard St . Eugene 5 4 1-684 3466) (5/02)
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Youth
Group for ages 25 and younger meets every Monday
(5 pm Koinonia Center. 1414 Kincaid St.. Eugene
541 346-1134.) (5/02)
Rainbow Youth is a support group for gay. lesbian,
You'll have to hurry to spend Christinas with the Crawfords— they're only at
Theater! Theatre! through Dec. 22
bi. trans and questioning youth and their fnends
between 13 and 17 years old m the Salem Keizer area
(503581 5535) (5/02)
The ex files
Pal postpones plans, prefers pokey pickup
D ear M s . B ehavior :
A few weeks ago,
my ex invited me over
to watch movies. I was
not in the mood, but I
said yes.
Later in the evening,
I called to cancel. (1
didn’t feel obligated to
say why.) She said, “Let
me get this straight, you
made plans with some
one else?”
1 said 1 had matters
to attend to— 1 wasn’t
in the mood for movies and needed to
pick up a friend who was released from
prison— but 1 didn’t specify. My ex
slammed down the phone.
Should I have sat through movies
when 1 didn’t want to just to spare her
feelings? Isn’t part of being an adult
understanding that plans change?
My ex can be manipulative and fre
quently resorts to guilt trips. Then she
says she simply is “expressing her feel
ings,” but I feel that’s different from
guilt tripping so others will act how you
want them to act. What do you think?
— Confused Friend
D ear C onfused F riend :
Why did sitting around watching
videos with an ex ever seem like a
good idea, anyway? Why not just sit
in a dark alley and pull your hair out?
Plans sometimes need to he bro
ken, but it’s not fair to make lukewarm
plans just to cancel them when some
thing better comes along. Next time,
if you know you’re “not in the mood”
or you have unresolved anger toward
your ex (who doesn’t?), just tell her
you’d rather stay home and scrub your
bathtub with a toothbrush (the one
she left in the medicine cabinet).
If you really had to pick up your
friend from jail, why couldn’t you tell
your ex instead of being mysterious? Try
something like, “I’m sorry 1 can’t make
it; Susie was just sprung from the joint.”
(Ms. Behavior may be naive about penal
matters, hut she doesn’t understand why
your friend couldn’t catch a ride home
from prison in the paddy wagon.)
If during your relationship your ex
wanted more than you could give, she
probably was sometimes manipulative in
attempting to have her needs met. Then
maybe you were cold, particularly if you
felt she was guilt topping you or being
clingy. And so the cycle continues.
If you do want to he friends with
your ex, avoid situa
tions that trigger the
dynamic that occurred
in your relationship.
For example, try plan
ning only fun outings
for a while, so you’ll be
less apt to cancel.
Or bring her next
time you retrieve your
recidivist friend. It takes
effort to break a pattern,
but if you can do it, you’ll j
be a lesbian legend in
i
your community.
D ear M s . B ehavior :
I’m gay, and I work
with two gay guys in a
large agency. Larry is
my peer, and John is
fresh out of college. I
sometimes joke around
with John and general
ly tease the kid, with
compliments about his
appearance and with
mild physical contact.
Larry listens to our
banter, then responds
by being uptight and
judgmental. He says stuff like, “Whoa,
Jay, you better cool it.”
I don’t understand why Larry has
to butt in. He denies feeling jealous;
he claims it just makes for a bad work
environment.
Larry is clearly homophobic and
doesn’t know fun when he sees it.
This is just an innocent expression of
gay horsing around in the workplace.
How can I make Larry see that?
—Jay
D ear J ay :
Since when is it homophobic to
not want to see you rubbing your cor
porate suit up against a lowly copy hoy?
You want to change Larry’s point
of view instead of your own behavior.
But if you continue to tease John,
you’ll soon be slapped by a corporate
matron from the human resources
department who will interpret your
“joking” as sexual harassment.
Gay or not, lewd behavior in the
workplace is considered harassment,
particularly when one employee
holds a more powerful position than
the other. You might think you’re
“just teasing,” but if John ever were
to file such a complaint against you,
your job and even your career could
he in jeopardy. (You also might find
it hard to get a date, because by the
time the story gets out, you’ll look
like an old lech.)
Even if John doesn’t complain,
Larry might. If the human resources
people think your behavior creates a
“hostile work environment,” you also
can he fired.
Perhaps you could find an outlet
for your fun homosexual banter on
the way to work, like by focusing your
teasing on the cute Starbucks
coffee barista. There, at
least, the boy would be
protected from your
wandering hands
by the counter.
And the
worst out
come for you,
if your flirt
ing happens to
be unwanted, probably
would be a lousy cup
of joe. j n
Write your confused and
conflicted heart out to
Ms. B ehavior at
MsBehaMor@aol.com.