▼
People of all sexual orientations belong to
the group, and SOFFAs (Significant Others,
Friends, Family and Allies) are welcome. A few
men bring their children to the get-togethers,
which usually attract about 15 people.
Coqsure also serves as a resource providing
members with information such as counseling
options, health tips and sports teams.
by P eter Z uckerman
Henre Andosca, a founding member of
Coqsure, has begun hormone treatments and
hen Kimber Nelson invited his father
now usually passes. In trans lingo, “passing”
to a kickhall game last summer, he
means to he perceived as the gender he consid
actually was inviting him to meet his
ers himself. Indeed, Andosca already speaks in
new son.
a quiet baritone.
You see, the event was presented hy Coqsure,
He notes that coming out as trans is often
a trans social group for people who were horn or
more a fear than a reality. One time, Andosca felt
raised female but identify differently. Nelson was
slightly nervous about how a friend would react
about to come out to his father as a man.
when he heard his big news. But his fears evapo
They sat down together on a bench, and the
rated a few days later, when the acquaintance
presented Andosca with the txK>k A Guide to a
22-year-old tcx>k comfort in knowing his friends
were nearby for support. “My dad has always
Man’s Body.
been liberal,” Nelson explains, “hut 1 was ner
He sheepishly tells a story about the early
vous about telling him.”
meetings of the group when the members
The two began talking. A few minutes later,
thought they ought to engage in “manly" activi
they stood up and walked across the field
ties. They tried shooting pool and acting tough.
together.
“But I was all
“Then my dad started intro Kimber Nelson (left)
nervous about
ducing himself to the other and Curtis Rudd
being a guy,”
people,” Nelson recalls with
Andosca admits.
“How was I sup
relief.
“He
refereed
the
game...he was totally support
posed to act like a
ive. It went so much better than
man?”
I expected.”
Later, when he
Nelson joined Coqsure a lit
admitted his feel
ings to the others,
tle more than a year ago. He
had close friends hut felt isolat
it turned out they
ed from the trans community.
all felt the same
“I knew trans people exist
way. “We were all
talking like girls,”
ed, hut where were they?’ he
he recalls, gestur
says. The group provided the
ing flamboyantly.
opportunity for Nelson to find
Some Coqsure
out.
Coqsure attracts people
members appear'
who stop off at every point
more masculine
along the gender continuum.
than others. For
Some members use the female
example, Trystan
Reynolds, who
pronoun “she,” some use the
does not yet pass
male pronoun “he,” some use
“he" and “she” interchange
as a man, already
has researched
ably, and some use the gender-
getting hormone
nonspecific pronouns “hir"
treatments and
(pronounced “here”) and
sexual reassign
“s’he” (pronounced “see”).
T he Coqsure pamphlet
ment surgery, in
case he decides he also wants a physical trans
defines gender identity like this: “Gender is not a
formation.
set of binary categories but rather a spectrum.”
In fact, the group has people with at least seven
The first step is to see a therapist who will
evaluate whether the candidate is psychological
different gender identifications, including inter-
ly stable and capable of making such life-alter
sex (bom with physical characteristics of both
male and female), bigender (behavioral expres
ing decisions. After several more meetings, the
sions of both male and female) and gender
patient might be referred to an endocrinologist
with the diagnosis of gender identity disorder.
queer (which defies a concrete definition).
Because the participants range in age from
early teens to mid-50s, someone who’s been in a
similar situation is sure to be available for con
sultation. For example, they know what hap
pens if you’re legally married and your partner
has a sex-change operation. Indeed, many of the
members have faced this challenge.
Oregon law does not specify what happens
to a marriage under those conditions. As a
result, the partners can stay married and receive
all legal benefits. However, if tested in the
courts, these conditions might change.
Safe haven
Women questioning
their gender identity have
a place to get answers
“I knew trans people
existed, but where
were they?"
■
■ "
—Kimber Nelson
“W hen I tell them
I'm gay, th ey g iv e m e
a w eird lo o k lik e there's
som eth in g w ron g
w ith m e.
T h ey can't
accep t th at
I'm a man."
f
—Trystan Reynolds
“It’s total hunk they would have to diagnose
the way I am as a disorder,” Reynolds remarks.
He points out that homosexuality also was con
sidered a disorder prior to 1972.
Then the endocrinologist prescribes “T-shots”
(testosterone). Changes include the voice drop
ping in register and cracking; in fact, this is
called a “second puberty.”
Facial structure often morphs into a more
oblong shape, and facial hair begins to sprout.
Next, body fat redistributes, breasts shrink, the
neck thickens, and muscles bulk up.
For those who want to take it to the next
level, there is “top surgery” (a double mastecto
my). And last, but far from least, is the ultimate
transformation of one’s vagina into a shiny new
penis and pals.
However, Reynolds isn’t ready for any of
that yet. He says he prefers to avoid hormones
for now, because he loves to sing and still
wants to hit the high notes.
Thankfully, Reynolds says, at Coqsure
“there’s no pressure to transition.” However,
some members have had surgery.
Reynolds joined Coqsure because he hated
feeling alone. Even though he identifies as a gay
man and loves singing karaoke at gay bars, he
doesn’t feel like part of the scene.
“W hen I tell them I’m gay, they give me a
weird look like there’s something wrong with
me. They can’t accept that I’m a man,” he
confides in disgust.
“But at Coqsure I don’t have to explain
myself. Every single person has been through
the same things I’m going through. We under
stand each other.”
The group gathers for monthly activities
including barbecues, billiards, bowling, coffee
and camping trips. Coqsure also provides sup
port for significant others.
Reynolds believes many gay men and les
bians discriminate against the trans community.
“They don’t understand that trans rights are
queer rights. You get gay-bashed because you’re
not in the traditional gender role; you get trans-
bashed for the same reason.”
in
Anyone interested in learning more about trans
people or joining COQSURE can reach the group
at coqsure-oumer@onelist.com or visit
wuav . one list. com!community!coqsure.
P eter Z uckerman is a student at Reed College
and an intern at Just Out. Write to him at
pez@ reed.edu.
Cascade
For Group Encounters and
One on One Peer Education
Call
503-223-!
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