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ADVICE
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pottucks and discussion o f books touching on the le s
bian. gay o r bisexual experience. (C ary 503-363-6036
m arionbenysaknO aol.com .) (U /O D
various vmrid religious tradffions are available for guidance,
classes and retreats. (Second Floor, 391 OSE I lb Ave
503-233-2026, ext. 3. www.spiritone.com /~isc. (11/01)
The Lesbbw Com u ctiow (TLO Lunch Bunch
C o m p a s s lo n aSs H e a r t S a n g h a . a lesbian and gay
m editation group, m eets in the Buddhist Vipasana tradi
tion. (7.30-9 pm W ednesday. Flanders House. 2926 NE
Flanders S t Jon 5 0 3 -239-5539.)(1 1/01)
m eets 11 am Sundays at the French Horn and 5-8 pm
on the second Friday o f the m onth at the F ifth S treet
M arket food court in Eugene A ll wom en welcom e.
(Bonnie 54/-683-2793.7 (1 1 /0 1 )
Lincoln Street United Methodist Church
is an
Communication breakdown
Fellowship
a home lo r the liberal religious spirit.
(10 am Sunday 4505 E 18th S t . Vancouver.
360-695-1891.) ( U /0 D
Willamette Valley: Spirituality
First Congregational Church, United Church
o f Christ. is an open and affirm ing congregation o ffe r
The Lesbian Sawing and Project Group, a fun
social organization, m eets in C orvallis. (Joan
5 4 1-928-5745.) (1 1/01)
open and accepting congregation o f progressive
C hristians. (9 am Sunday. 5145 SE Lincoln St.
503-231-1930.) (1 1 /0 1 )
ing w orship and church school. C h id care provided.
W heelchair accessible (10 am Sunday 700 M anon St.
NE. Salem. 503-363-3660.) ( 11/01)
The Lesbian Social Group m eets in Eugene to eat.
talk, laugh and w ork on projects ranging from sewing to
artw ork to photo abum s. (541 -513-2754.) (1 1 /0 1 )
M itin o ii P m c i Community (U nited
Gay-Straight Alliance o f the Unitarian
Universalist Congregation o f Salem m eets
M ethodist) is
a "house church," bringing gay and straight together
(D aily p ra ye r 7.20 am. Sunday gathering 6 pm
2116 NE 18th Ave 503-281-3697.
w w w .tearsoup.com /m etanoia) (1 1 /0 1 )
Metr opolitan Community Church of Portland
Metro: Spirituality
Ainsworth United Church of C hrist is
a m ulti
racial, m ulticultural, open and affirm ing church. Sunday
w orship is at 10 am, and church school fo r children
runs concurrently. (2 9 4 1 NE A insw orth St.
503-284-8767. auccQ teleport.com .) (1 1 /0 1 )
Anawim Community o f gay
men m eets w eekly fo r
Chnstian m editation and prayer. (7.3 0 pm Thursday.
5 0 3 -2 8 1-0722.) (1 1 /0 1 )
Bridgeport Community Church (UCQ is a growing
community of progressive, political people exploring and cele
brating the Chnstian faith. We are multicultural, lesbian, gay, bi
and straight, and our children are valued members. (10:30 am
Sunday. 621 NE 76th Ave 503-258-0992.) (11/01)
Community of St. Andrew
invites all to join a
diverse C atholic faith com m unity fo r prayer and fe llow
ship. (9:30 am Sunday. 806 NE A lberta St.
5 0 3 -2 8 1 4 4 29 .) (1 1 /0 1 )
Dignity Portland meets for Mass Sundays at 4 pm at
St. Stephens Episcopal Church followed by a social.
(Southwest 13th Avenue at Clay Street
dignitypdxO aolcom .H U /0 \ )
Eastrose Fellowship Unitarian Universalis! a wel
coming congregation, offers Sunday service and children's
religious education at 10:30 am. (1133 NE 181st Ave..
Gresham. 503-665-2628. eastm seQ teleport.com .) (11/01)
Estacada United M ethodist Church
Reconciling Congregation, w here we
really mean
holds ecum enical Sunday m orning w orship services at
9 and 11 am. Sunday school fo r children is held during
the 11 am w orship service (2400 NE Broadway
503-281-8868 infoO m ccportland.com .) (1 1 /0 1 )
Potter's House M inistries Life Center.
Evangelical and charism atic Chnstian. (3830 SE 62nd
Ave. 503-775-5024.) ( U /0 D
SisterSpirit offers wom en's spirituality celebrations,
discussion groups, a drum m ing circle, w orkshops and
classes. Schedule o f events available. A ll women are
welcom e. (S uite 102. 3430 SE Belm ont S t M ailing
address: PO Box 9246. Portland. OR 97207.
503-736-3297. siste rsp O te le po rt.co m .)( \ 1/01)
fo r a
potluck on the third Sunday o f each m onth. ( 6 pm.
5090 C enter S t. NE. 503-363-8716.) (1 1 /0 1 )
Interfaith Spiritual Community m eets fo r inspira
tional messages, children's celebrations and jo y every
Sunday at the Heart C enter W e honor and celebrate all
sacred paths, recognizing each person's divine g ifts and
supporting spiritual grow th, healing and enlightenm ent.
(6 -7 3 0 pm. 1578 Com m ercial St. SE. Salem.
5 0 3 -7 6 3 -6 0 3 0 .H U /O D
Momingside United Methodist Church
is a rec
onciling congregation where everyone is welcom e to
participate in the full life o f the congregation. (8 3 0 and
11 am Sunday. 3674 12th St. SE. Salem.
503-364-5013.) (11 /0 1 )
Sweat S pirit Metropolitan Community Church
(MCO holds w orship at 11 am Sundays follow ed by
Southminster Presbyterian Church
coffee and fellow ship as w ell as potluck lunches every
second Sunday. (Amencan Legion Hall. 4 774 Lilac Lane
NE. Salem M ailing address: Pastor Ken Kerr. PO Box
12753. Salem. O R 97309. 503-315-7923 7 (1 1 /0 1 )
St. James Lutheran Church, a reconciled in
C hnst congregation, welcom es all people fo r traditional
liturgical w orship. (9 and 11 am Sunday. 1315 S W Park
Ave. 503-2 2 7 -2 4 3 9 ) (1 1 /0 1 )
Metro: Youth
is a chal
lenging, supportive com m unity that welcom es all peo
ple. It is the firs t M ore Light Presbyterian Church in
Oregon. (10 am Sunday summ er. 9:30 and 11 am
Sunday winter. 12250 S W Denney Road. Beaverton
503-644-2073.) (1 1 /0 1 )
St. Philip Neri Catholic Church
o ffers a gay-pos
itive com m unity fo r C atholics and th e ir friends. M ass at
7:30 pm Fridays follow ed by a social. (Paulist Center.
2408 SE 16th Ave. 5 0 3 -2 3 1-4955.) ( 11/01)
St. Stephen's Episcopal Church
has been w el
com ing all people since 1863. (12.10 pm W ednesday
and 7.45 and 10 am Sunday Sunday school and child
care a t 10 am. S W 13th Avenue at Clay S treet
Expression is a free art/expression support group fo r
GLBT youth between 13 and 23 in Gresham Hang out
and have fun every Fnday! Sponsored by Roots and
Branches. (Jonathan 503-872-9664. ext. 28. 7 (1 1 /0 1 )
Outside In
operates a clinic fo r anyone who can't
qualify fo r the O regon Health Ran as w ell as a needle
exchange service that includes exchange fo r those who
inject horm ones. It also has some transitional housing
fo r youth 20 and younger as w ell as fo r youth who are
HIV-positive and younger than 23. It also plays host to
VOICES (Voices o f Individual and Com munity
Empowerment from the S treets), a self-support group
fo r queer youth. (IO a m -6 pm Monday-Fnday. 1236 S W
Salmon St. 5 0 3 -2 2 3 -4 /2 / 7 (1 1 /0 1 )
Prids Project brings
together W ashington County
lesbian, gay. bi, trans and questioning youth to plan and
attend m onthly social events. Also inform ation, referral,
support and advocacy services fo r W ashington County.
(M olly 5 0 3 -2605792 m ollyO pndeprqect org .7 (11 /0 1 )
Rainbow is a m ulticultural peer support and activity
group fo r gay. lesbian, bisexual, trans and questioning
youth. (4 30 pm Wednesday. M etropolitan Com m unity
Church o f Portland. 2400 NE Broadway
503-281-8868 7 (1 1 /0 1 )
Sexual M inority Youth Recreation Center
(SMYRC) o ffers drop-in com puter access, pool tables
and an inform al place to hang out and plays host to
weekly youth support groups including W indfire, Trans
Youth G roup and Personal D eity Proxy (a creative
group). (4-8 pm M onday and Wednesday. 4 pm-
midmght Friday and Saturday 2100 SE Belm ont S t
503-872 9664 www sm yrc.org.) (11 /0 1 )
Youth HIV/STD Prevention Project provides
everyone is welcom e Sunday w orship at 10 30 am.
(204 SEM am S t.. Estacada 503-349-4245 .7 (1 1 /0 1 )
First Congregational United Church of C hrist
is an open and affirm ing congregation in the liberal
C hristian tradition Sunday w orship is at 10 25 am. and
church school fo r children runs concurrently (1126 S W
Park A ve 503-228- 7219 ) (1 1 /0 1 )
First United Methodist Church o f Portland, a
welcom ing and reconciling congregation, believes no
one is le ft out in G od's fam ily GLBT potlucks are held
m onthly (10:30 am Sunday 1838 S W Jefferson St.
503-228-3195 www fu m cfxlx.o rg ) (1 1 /0 1 )
Full Circle Temple is a place o f w orship fo r wom en
o f all ages offering w orkshops, song and drum circles,
m editation room s and altars o f celebration, incorporat
ing what you bnng to share. (10 a m -10 pm Tuesday-
Sunday 3125 E Burnside St. 5 0 3 2 3 8 -0 6 7 5 .) (11 /0 1 )
jk il ^ n n n « n f l n u
I no O uoa
ironnecnon
T I a
YouthNet. a program o f Love M akes a Family, o ffers
tutoring and m entonng fo r lesbian, gay. bi and trans
youth as well as fo r children o f LGBT parents.
(503-227-1981 ) ( U / O D
503 223-6424.) (1 1 /0 1 )
Unity Church o f Portland
is an all-inclusive com
m unity follow ing C hrist's teachings and celebrating
diversity and truth w ithout trappings fo r 75 years.
Sunday school and child care available Potluck firs t
Sundays (1 0 am Sunday 4525 SE S tark S t
503-234-7441. u m ty p rtln d O w w d b o rg )(U /0 \ )
University Park United Methodist Church is a
m em ber o f the netw ork o f reconciling congregations
and m eets fo r w orship at 10 am Sundays (4775 N
Lom bard S t. 503 289-7843 ) (1 1 /0 1 )
Zion United Church of C hrist
an open and
affirm ing congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, bisexual,
transgender and heterosexual people who w ish to w or
ship in a C hrist-centered, warm , caring,
m ultiage/race/cultural faith comm unity. (11 am Sunday
2025 NE 2 3 rd A ve.. Gresham 5 0 3 -6 6 5 8 7 4 1 )1 11/01)
Southern Oregon: Youth
Southern O re g o n Youth Outreach (SOYO). a
group fo r gay. lesbian, and bi youth between 14 and 20,
m eets on the firs t and Thursdays o f the month m
Ashland (541-488 6 9 9 0 7 (1 1 /0 1 )
Washington: Youth
Teen to Teen Sexual M inority Youth Program
o ffe rs education, support and advocacy to gay, lesbian,
bi and trans and questioning youth in Vancouver. Wash
M eets 6 8 pm Tuesdays and 3 30-5 30 pm Thursdays
in Suite M 100 at Cascade AIDS Project, 1104 Mam St
(Amanda 3 6 0 6 9 3 1 /8 8 7 (1 1 /0 1 )
-
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roc worvnip.
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Growth and Leadership invites you
to celebrate your
spntuakty w ith the Revs Casey and Berde* M offett
Chaney Uberal, practical: a l are welcom e (10 am
Sunday 4828 NE 3 3 rd A ve 503-481-7591 7(11/01)
East Vancouver United Methodist Church.
Reconciling, welcom ing (1 0 am Sunday
Grace Spece.
a m ultidenom m ationa! spiritual center
led by the Rev Stephanie Tomes, holds Sunday evening
celebrations (5 pm Friends o f M ultnom ah. 4312 SE
S tark S t 503 287-3216.) (1 1 /0 1 )
Integrity the gay and lesbian m m istiy o f the
Episcopal Church, m eets on the second Friday o f each
month m the M om son Room at Trinity C athedral
Eucharist is celebrated at 6 45 pm follow ed by a
potluck and fellow ship (147 N W 19th A ve
5 0 3 -2 8 9 -1 6 8 7 ) ( U /0 D
Interfaith Spiritual Center.
Washington Spirituality
Spiritual directors from
Willamette Valley: Youth
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender and
Questioning Youth Group fo r ages 13 to 18 offers
5701 M acA rthur Blvd 360-6934761.
ourclarkcounty Columbian c o m /2 7 3 /) (1 1 /0 1 )
support, inform ation and fun Free, confidential, drop-m
(4-6 pm Friday Amazon Com m unity Center.
2700 H ily a rd S t. Eugene 54 / 684 3 4 6 6 /(1 1 /0 1 )
First Congregational Church, United Church
of Christ Two Sunday services, traditional and "less
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Youth
Group fo r ages 25 and younger meets every M onday
traditional" m an open and affirm ing congregation.
(1220 NE 68th S t . Vancouver 360-693 1476 ) (W 0 D
(5 pm Komorua Center. 1414 Kincaid S t Eugene
541-346-1134 7(1 1 /0 1 )
Metropolitan Community Church of the
Gentle Shepherd. (10 am Sunday 913 W 13th St..
Rainbow Youth is a support group fo r gay. lesbian,
bisexual, transgender and questioning youth and their
fnends between 13 and 17 years old in the Satem-
Vancouver 360-695 1 4 8 0 7 (1 1 /01 )
M kheel Servetus Unitarian Universalist
Keizer area (503 58 / 5535 7(1 1 /0 1 )
D ear M s . B ehavior :
Help! M y
boyfriend has a signif
icant hearing problem
that’s affecting our
relationship, which is
otherwise stable and
loving.
Here’s what I
mean. I say, “ I can’t
wait to be with you
this weekend.”
Rodrigo hears: “ I
can’t see you Monday,
Tuesday, Wednesday,
Thursday or Friday.
W ell, I probably could
see you if I wanted to, but I don’t
want to. In fact, 1 hate you."
1 say: "H on ey, you are the best
man I ever have been with. L e t’s be
together always.” R odrigo hears,
“ I’m settling for you because I’ve
used up my energy on thousands o f
men w ho are far more excitin g than
you are.”
Th e thing is, my boyfriend and his
low self-esteem have been in therapy
for several years. H e’s a wonderful
man, but sometimes I feel like
1 ought to follow his
therapist home
and give her a
good shaking.
I mean, what’s
the deal? A n y guy
would kill to have
him as a
boyfriend,
and every
one knows
it but him.
Do you have
suggestions for a
new kind o f hear
ing aid?
fun
and educational program s along w ith counseling and
testing to queer youth in a fnendly. relaxed environ
m ent. (503-872 9 6 6 4 ) ( U / 0 D
O il paintings by Jesse G eisheker are on view at 3 Friends Coffeehouse, 201 SE 12th Ave.,
through July 31
Smitten guy says one thing,
insecure boyfriend hears another
D ear L arry :
It’s hard to
tell whether
your boyfriend
needs a hearing aid
or you need speech
therapy. Ms. Behavior sus
pects your one-sided “he
said, he said” conflict leaves out
Rodrigo’s version o f the story, which
might sound more like this:
Larry says: “Oh, I remember that
shirt. It used to look really great on
you before you gained all that weight
around your waistline.” Larry thinks
he said, “That shirt looks good on
you.” Then you act shocked when you
realize Rodrigo feels hurt (your clue is
that he’s crying into a box o f dough
nuts), and you deny his reality.
Rodrigo might be insecure, as you
suggest, but it’s also possible you’re an
insensitive clod. Either way, despite
your declarations o f love in this
advice column, verbal communica
tion between the two o f you clearly
has gone awry.
Maybe you should explore alter
nate forms o f expression: Consider
doing a performance piece about
your love. Take a
mime class to learn
gestures and facial
expressions for illus
trating your d evo
tion. O r if you’re
into something
more prim itive, try
wrapping your
boyfriend in a fuzzy
blanket and rocking
him while cooing
softly in his ear.
D ear M s . B ehavior :
M y former best
friend and my former
lover have formed some kind o f psy
cho bond recently, a support group for
the mean and stingy.
Frankly, I ’d gotten pretty fed up
w ith both o f them: O n e is a co n
summate liar and a cheat, and the
other is insufferably self-centered
and ungenerous. W ith the help o f
my lovin g friends and my therapist,
I’ve vow ed to stay away from both
o f them.
G etting out o f their clutches was
difficult for me because I
used to be a
A \ I f
a \
pushover. I’ve
vowed to spend
time only with
people who
A \
I /
A are genuine
^ 1 and kind and
have a moral
clue. But
what do I
do with
my feel
ings of
betrayal?
— Former
Doormat
D ear F ormer
D oormat :
I f you “ used to
be a pushover,”
you might need
to cultivate the
A n gry Dyke
within. You’ll need
a pair o f heavy boots in
which to practice stomping around
in silent rage.
A t the same time, learn to medi
tate. Train your mind to focus on
peaceful, loving thoughts.
If you can learn to feel both fierce
and calm, you will be the Sapphic
Dalai Lama, inspiring happy thoughts
and spreading love and light through
out the universe. T h e universe, by the
way, is perfect in its self-regulation;
the planets have aligned to bring your
ex and your former friend together.
You couldn’t possibly concoct a
more suitable means o f justice than
what these tw o w ill inflict on one
another. So just accept the gift
you’ve been given and remember to
say thank you. j n
Write your confused and conflicted heart out
to Ms. B ehavior at KisBehaiiodQaol.com.