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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (May 18, 2001)
may IB. 2001 A native Minnesotan, she missed experienc ing the annual rhythm of four seasons while liv ing iri California. She says the white Christmas season reminds her of her childhood. Although Bend gets an average of just 12 inches of rainfall annually, more than 33 inches of snow falls each winter. Being a lesbian in central Oregon hasn’t ever posed a problem for Witte. She thinks that is because people get to know her and genuinely like her. “Just because I’m real people." She says it is her style to be honest about who she is but admits she doesn’t feel the need to walk down the streets of Bend holding her girlfriend’s hand. For Witte, there are no negative aspects to living in Bend. When pressed, she admits the area has limited cultural events and lacks a Nordstrom. “But I don’t need Nordstrom. I’d rather go to Home Depot,” she says with an ear-to-ear grin. Most people make trips to Portland to get the things they miss in Bend. But not Witte. She hasn’t been to the Willamette Valley in five years. “There’s everything I need here.” Witte shares her life with Jan, her partner of 20 years. Although the couple have raised horses, sheep and goats on more than one of the area’s small ranches, they recently decided to simplify their life. Today, the women live with their cats and dogs on five acres. “1 traded my horses for a fly rod,” Witte says. mittees and is well-versed on AIDS issues, O ’Neil also is in the trenches dealing with HIV- infected people who are homeless, disenfran chised and thrown away by their family and friends. The stories he tells about his clients are unexpected for such a rich resort town. One client lives in a shed behind his parents’ home. Others would be lucky to have such per manent accommodations. Many can’t begin to afford Bend’s skyrocket ing rents, O ’Neil says, and are living in cheap motels. The county’s HIV clients are not unlike others across the state and the country: lacking financial, health care, social and personal sup port resources. “Everyone in Oregon thinks everything that’s happening is in the 1-5 corridor,” he says. “There is a whole other world east of the Cas cades and a lot of things going on.” But O ’Neil doesn’t dwell on struggles more than he needs to. Today, he’s a survivor. He is committed to stress-free living and enjoying his new life. He’s got a lot to live for: a man who loves him, two jobs he is passionate about and an important position in his commu nity helping others. Standing on his expansive deck overlooking Bend and beyond, O ’Neil is lean, strong and a chance. His experience of being alone during that time later would be the catalyst for him to take action to help remedy one of the area’s flaws: the isolation of gay men. somed. In 1998, they bought a home together in one of Bend’s upscale westside neighborhoods overlooking the city. Today, the couple are leaders in the area’s gay male community. They play host to a safe-sex & telephone hot line in their home sponsored by 2 the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. 1 l Calls come in from gay and bisexual men living in Deschutes, Jefferson and Crook counties. But the couple go beyond just answering phones. They have people over for dinner who are dealing with com ing out, put on fund raising events for the "Everyone in Oregon thinks everything community and coor dinate a monthly din that's happening is in the 1-5 corridor. ner for gay men. They even invite a diverse There is a whole other world east o f the group over for a tele vision night to watch Cascades and a lot o f things going on." Interested in Bend real estate? Queer as Folk. Contact Gail Witte of Duke There are no real -Dan O'Neil Warner Realty at 5 4 1 -382-8262 strangers in this cou or ivuAv.dukewamer.com/gail. ple’s life. They want If you're an angler, ask about her to reach out to anybody in need of a hand. tan— a picture of health. He stares out at the waterproof Fly-Fishing Log, O ’Neil says he didn’t move to the area to view and sips a glass of red wine as Steve tends available in more than 30 stores become a hermit. He knows how isolated people to chops on the barbecue and tosses a fresh throughout the Pacific Northwest. can become. green salad. He saw for himself how damaging it can be While the central Oregon sunlight fades, the to not have the support of gay male peers. He lights of Bend start to dot the landscape. “Why says the Internet, so popular among rural gay wouldn’t you want to live here?” he asks. men, is no replacement for a real community. Now, O ’Neil has a part-time job as a case To contact Dan O ’Neil call 888-429-6368 or send n 1991,36-year-old Dan O ’Neil . , , and his partner, Ed, were both 0311 ° N ei118 takmg actlon to helP remedV one of the worker for Deschutes County’s HIV program in e-mail to oneil@bendcable.com. HIV-positive. O ’Neil had lost area’s flaws: the isolation of gay men addition to his ad agency gig. He works with two about 75 friends to AIDS by that nurses in looking after patients. time. When O ’Neil met Steve, who lived north of Although about 60 county residents have Bend along Highway 97 in Madras, he just was HIV, he estimates only half of-them are receiv He figured he and Ed eventually would die, looking for someone to go bicycling with. After ing services. Most are white gay men. and neither wanted to experience their final hen Cecilia Lee would head back to the men developed a friendship, a romance blos days in rainy Portland. We just as easily could While he has sat on statewide advisory com- Portland after camping in central Ore die in the sunshine, they thought. gon with friends, she always felt sad. “We’d cry going all the way back over the mountain,” O ’Neil says he needed a change of scenery and a smaller town to call home— and some she reminisces. light. “I just wanted the sun.” She wanted a change in her life and even During a ski trip to Mount Bachelor, he got tually decided to make a big one. Her first step above the cloud layer and had a life-changing was purchasing two acres just 15 minutes thought: “This might be a fun place to live.” So south of Bend. the couple found lesbian real estate agent Gail That afforded her weekends away from Witte and purchased a home in Bend. Portland, where Lee held a job at Intel for 17 years. Her next step was moving to central They didn’t have jobs, they didn’t know one person, and they didn’t know what life in cen Oregon. tral Oregon would be like. Still, they moved. She kept her job, commuting back and forth across the Cascade Range. That plan The men eventually found work—O ’Neil as wasn’t a real solution, though. a part-time graphic designer at an ad agency and “I need to fish or cut bait,” Lee says. Even Ed at the county assessor’s office— and settled into their new life. They got involved with their tually, she decided the time had come for a local parish (O’Neil is a former priest) and complete change of scenery and a new life. developed a small circle of friends. Life was So in 1994 she quit her job and moved to central Oregon for good. Her friends thought good. she was crazy. They wondered how she just Then Ed died in 1996. Despite the magic of could pick up and move with no job and with life in Bend, O ’Neil realized he had no true con out knowing a soul. nection with gay men in the area and wondered if he should continue living there. Lee didn’t wait long to get acquainted with Before moving on, he decided he should try Continued on Page 28 to meet some people and give single life in Bend A new life I Go fish W \ ft f 27
