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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 3, 2000)
\ • novembfli X 2QQQ 46 A whole new ball game never actually have watched a W orld Series game. It never struck me as a fun thing to do because I’m not a sports fan. I along to Hall and Oates songs on the radio. He took me to my first concerts and taught me how to smoke pot with a water bong. A ll in all, World Series proves to be an eye-opener for this sissy T h e closest I ever came to watching a televised baseball match was a gay pom video called The Bases Are Loaded. I dated a man who dragged me to Baltimore Orioles games, hut he lured me with beer and hot dogs. neurotic about the W e were in the middle o f that blush o f new Washington Red love, when you do things with the understand skins, he doesn’t ing that it will sustain your shave sex life. on game days That man also had me cooking and and has a minia living in a Washington, D.C., sub ture wooden Red urb, so baseball was an ugly natural skin he touches progression. I never have been much for television, period. M y first name has guaranteed that I’ve been haunted by Capt. Kirk jokes since kindergarten. Supremely creative men still use Star Trek as a pickup line shortly before asking me, “ W h at’s your sign.7” But I never have watched an episode o f that show, either. I’m a little baffled by the allure o f baseball, which is supposedly the epitome o f all things American. To me, picking between the N ew York Yankees and the N ew York Mets was a daunting prospect, akin to sorting out a favorite in the Israeli-Palestinian war. Th e so-called Subway Series had me scratching my noggin with confusion. I have three older brothers, one o f whom is an obsessive sports fan. H e would watch tiddly winks if it were televised. H e’s an avid golfer, which is something else that falls into my aesthetic blind spot. H e’s so My sports-loving brother, however, never pulled any o f that crap. I haven’t always given him proper credit. I’m currently writing a book about being openly gay in high school. Funny how the memory molds our personal history. Sometimes we remember things to be worse to give ourselves impressive sob stories. Sometimes we at kickoff. If anyone else touches it— ever— that person is responsible for the jinx o f an entire sea son. M y brother is 40 years old; this behavior has been going on for quite some time. Growing up, 1 pretty much assumed all o f my brothers were homo- phobic assholes. I mean, come on. Two o f them are born-again Christians, and one o f them is a sports fan who lives in Jesse Helms territory. Sometimes their words and actions bore out my assumptions. W hen I came out in high school, one o f them condemned me at his breakfast prayer group. O ne o f them donates money to Operation Rescue and opens my mail to his children to make sure I’m not indoctri nating them into my “ lifestyle." imagine things being better to dull the pain that accompanies truth. In my case, 1 let the stereo types about macho heterosexual sports fans get in the way o f our relationship. This is a man who only recently has started watching the Oscars. How much can you trust someone who doesn’t watch the Oscars? But the truth about my brother is he really tried. He took me out on cold mornings to teach me to kick field goals. He tried in vain to teach me how in the world they calculate a first down. H e took me to football games in the freezing cold, and on the way home we sang il ITTI ra i Restaurant & Lounge Visit us at www.starkys.com i m i m w i i E r nr - - - 6 N I G H T S A W E E K - - - ______ M on -T hurs 9 < >•'% ■■ ... 0 0 « _____ « 1 £ I 2 * « | s 0 1 Israel- » ta ii M i " I o ~ - »•MUM» '• ' s. v v v , , •• , - asked him. “ A re you really watching it?” he asked. “Yeah.” “T h e Yankees, man! H ow about you?” “T h e Yankees.. .man.” God, I feel like Hillary Clinton. jn KlRK R e a p lives in Northern California and can be found at wtvw.temenos.net/kirkread. I h a v e n ’t had a single drink today ... they’ve been I doubles. x* ' The/ Starfyccte/ 2651 E. Burnside - ( r at 503 ) 234-6171 Free Off-Street Parking In n EASTSIDE PORTLAND ZfV .. Parties welcome • Pool table & pinball • Full bar • J lfa 2913 SW Stark 2 pm -2:30 am ______ straight people in general. Tim e and distance have allowed me to be more forgiving. However awkward it was for me to be gay in a flamboyantly heterosexual family, they were no better prepared for it. M y brother the sports fan, as I look back on it, has been pretty damn great to me. N o w it’s my turn to try to understand him. W h en the first game o f the series ended— after what seemed like 53 innings— I called him. I still had no idea who to root for. During the third inning I started making hash marks in two columns to tally which team had the cutest players. But I gave up. “W h o are you rooting for in the series?” I B ES T SELECTION OF SONGS BM PORTLAND! X ' ' ■■ - -rr^ " F ri -S at 9 loving moments. Gay people often run from family, for gcxxl reason. I ran like hell from my brothers. I went to D.C. and N ew York and San Francisco. Living in the gay ghettos gave me a touch o f cynicism about the redemption o f New Dance Floor 503.230.7980 0 pm -2 am * he hit all the marks. As I’ve written about him and my other two brothers, I’ve realized how selective memory can be. I expeded to dredge up all sorts o f repressed memories o f them taunting me as a sissy. But I haven’t. 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