november 3 .2 0 0 0
Hen and lesbians in the Portland/Vancouver area.
... etter available by mail or e-mail (360-735- 1901,
aahtes@aoi com. ) ( 1 1/00)
i Thorny R om «
a social group for lesbians, pri-
Lnly older than 45, who live in the Vancouver/Clark
unty area. (Judy 360-906■ 1763, Judy342@cs.com.)
is
( 11 / 00 )
Tillamette Valley: Social
ance. classes and retreats. (3910 SE 11th A v e . sec
ond floor 503-233-2026, ext. 3
www hometown ad. com/djrho5/webpage html.)
( 11 / 00 )
Lesbian and gay meditation group
"Compassionate Heart Sangha." meets for meditation
in the Buddhist Vipasana tradition. Donation requested
(7:30-9 pm Wednesdays at Flanders House. 2926 NE
Handers St. Jon 503-239-5539) (11 /00)
Metanoia Peace Community (United Methodist) is
ILA (Gay and Losbian Alliance) meets at Lane
immunity College, Eugene. (541-741-4501, ext.
36.HWOO)
a ‘ house church," bnnging gay and straight together
(Daily prayer 7:20 am, Sunday gathenng 6 pm at
2116 NE 18th Ave. 503-281 -3697.) (11/00)
Metropolitan Community Church of Portland
By Men'« Discussion Group meets Mondays
1 7:30 to 9 pm at the Koinonia Center,
Jl4 Kincaid, Eugene, (Hank 541 484-6259 or Trent at
er@6ivaltiance.org.) (11 /00)
i County Men's Health Network offers
tial events, retreats, workshops and training for bi,
i and trans men. Community calendars and mailings
fining and networking men to build community from a
ssroots perspective. (1966 Garden Ave., Eugene
11-342-5088, ext. 23 tseager@hivalliance.org.)
( 11 / 00 )
prionbsrry Salon, formerly the Coalition to End
otry Book Group, meets monthly in Salem for
[lucks and discussions of books touching on lesbian.
i or bisexual expenence. (Cary 503-363-6036,
yandken@aol.com.) 0 1 /00)
Lesbian Connection (TLC) Lunch
nch meets at 11 am every Sunday at the French
i and on the second Friday o f the month from
8 pm at the Fifth Street Market food court in
■ene All women welcome. (Bonnie
I -683-2793.) (11/00)
holds ecumenical Sunday morning worship services at
9 and 11 am Sunday school for children is held dunng
the 11 am worship service. (2400 NE Broadway
503-281 -8868. mccpdx@aol com.) (11 /00)
Potter's House Ministries Life Center.
Evangelical and charismatic Christian. (3830 SE 62nd
Ave 503-775-5024.) (11 /00)
Radical Fairies Fae Dirt info line: 503-235-0826
( 11 / 00 )
Willamette Valley: Spirituality
First Congregational Church. United Church of
Chnst, is an open and affirming congregation offering
worship and church school. Child care provided
Wheelchair accessible. (10 am Sundays. 700 Manon
Sf. NE. Salem. 503-363-3660) ( 11/00)
The Gay-Straight Alliance of the Unitarian
Universalist Congregation of Salem meets on
the third Sunday of each month for a potluck. (6 pm.
5090 Center St. NE. 503-363-8716.) (11/00)
Interfaith Spiritual Community meets every
Sunday at the Heart Center for inspirational messages,
children's celebrations and joy. We honor and celebrate
all sacred paths, recognizing each person's divine gifts
and supporting spintual growth, healing and enlighten
ment. (6-7:30 pm. 1578 Commercial St SE, Salem.
503-763-6030.) ( 11/00)
Momingsida United Methodist Church is a rec
onciling congregation where everyone is welcome to
participate in the full life of the congregation.
(8:30 and 11 am Sundays. 3674 12th St. SE. Salem.
503-364-50l3.)(U /00)
SisterSpirit offers women's spintuality celebrations,
Sweet Spirit Metropolitan Community Church
(MCC) holds worship at 11 am Sundays followed by
discussion groups, a drumming circle, workshops and
classes. Schedule of events available. All women are
welcome. (Office hours. 3-6 pm Tuesday-Fnday at
3430 SE Belmont St.. 4102. Mailing address: PO Box
9246, Portland, OR 97207. sistersp@teleport.com.
503-736-3297.) (11/00)
coffee and fellowship as well as potluck lunches every
second Sunday. (Services held at American Legion
Hall. 4774 Lilac Lane NE, Salem. Mailing address.
Pastor Ken Kerr, PO Box 12753, Salem, OR 97309.
503-315-7923.) (11/00)
Southminster Presbyterian Church is a chal
lenging, supportive community that welcomes all peo
ple. It is the first More Light Presbyterian Church in
Oregon. (Sundays at 10 am summer. 9 3 0 and 11 am
winter. 12250 SW Denney Road. Beaverton
503-644-2073.) (11/00)
YOUTH
Metro: Youth
Outside In operates a clinic for anyone who can't
St. Philip Neri gay and lesbian outreach. A gay/les-
SPIRITUALITY
bian-positive community for Catholics and their friends.
Mass at 7:30 pm on Fridays followed by a social
(Pauhst Center. 2408 SE 16th Ave 503-231-4955.)
stro: Spirituality
( 11 / 00 )
■worth United Church of Christ is a multira-
[ multicultural, open and affirming church. Sunday
ship is at 10 am, and church school for children
i concurrently. (2941 NE Ainsworth St.
284-8767. aucc@teleport.com.)
Anawim Community. Gay men meet weekly
hnstian meditation and prayer. (7:30 pm
.503-281-0722.) ( 11/00)
S t. Stephen's Episcopal Church, the new
home of the Portland Gay Men's Chorus, has been
welcoming all people since 1863. (Wednesday ser
vice 12:10 pm; Sunday services 7:45 am and
10 am. Sunday school and child care at 10 am.
Southwest 13th Avenue at Clay Street.
503-223-6424.) (\ 1/00)
University Park United Methodist Church is a
Community Church (U.C.CJ is a
community of progressive, political people
and celebrating the Christian faith. We are
Itural. lesbian, gay. bi and straight, and our chil-
valued members. (10:30 am Sundays, 621 NE
Ave. 503-258-0992) (11 /00)
munity of S t Andrew invites all to join a
Catholic faith community for prayer and fellow-
(9:30 am Sunday Mass. 806 NE Alberta St.
281-4429)(11/00)
member of the network of Reconciling Congregations
and meets for worship each Sunday at 10 am (4775 N
Lombard St. 503-289- 7843.) (11/00)
Zion United Church of Christ. an open and
affirming congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, bisexual,
transgendered and heterosexual people who wish to
worship in a Christ-centered, warm, caring,
multiage/race/cultural faith community. (Service: 11 am
Sundays. 2025 NE 23rdAve., Gresham.
503-665-8741.7(11/00)
nity Portland meets for Mass Sundays at
4 p r at St Stephens Episcopal Church followed
■
social. (Southwest 13th Avenue at Clay
■ et e-mail: dignitypdx@ad.com.) ( 11/00)
Pride Project brings together Washington County
lesbian, gay. bi. trans and questioning youth to plan and
attend monthly social events. Also information, referral,
support and advocacy services for Washington County.
(Molly 503-260-5792.) (11/00)
Rainbow is a multicultural peer support and activity
group for gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans and questioning
youth. (4 30 pm Mondays at Metropolitan Community
Church o f Portland, 2400 NE Broadway
503-281-8868.HU/00)
Sexual M inority Youth Recreation Center
(SM YRC) offers drop-in computer access, pool
tables and an informal place to hang out. Also plays
host to weekly youth support groups including
Windfire, Trans Youth Group and Personal Deity
Proxy (a creative group), (4-8 pm Wednesday,
4 pm-midmght Friday and Saturday.
424 E Burnside St. 503-872-9664.
www.smyrc.org.) (11 /00)
Youth HIV/STD Prevention Project pro
vides fun and educational programs along with
counseling and testing to queer youth in a friendly,
relaxed environment (503-872 9664) ( 11/00)
i NorthWest (ECWR) helps gay and
an Chnstians integrate faith and sexuality
i Bible study and fellowship. (PO Box
3. Portland. O R 97286-0383. 503-727-3387.)
0 )
YouthNet a program of Love Makes a Family,
offers tutonng and mentonng for lesbian, gay. bi
and trans youth as well as for children of LGBT
parents. (503-227-1981)01/00)
i Fellowship Unitarian
■list, a welcoming congregation, offers
i service at 10:30 am (1133NE 181st
Gresham. 503-665-2628 eastrose@tele-
lcom .H S/0))
Southern Oregon: Youth
United Methodist Church
I Congregation, where we really
The Sexual Minority Youth Recreation
Group of Klamath Falls provides support for
gay, lesbian, bi, trans and questioning youth and
their allies. (For more information, e-mail boy-
toy22@hotmail com. 7(11 /00)
i everyone is welcome. Sunday worship at
1 am. (204 SE Mam St . EstacadaJO 1/00)
I Congregational United Church of
I is an open and affirming congregation in
I Christian tradition. Sunday worship is at
i am, and church school for children runs con-
ritly. (1 126 SW Park Ave.. 503-228-7219.)
I Circle Temple is a place of worship for
i of all ages offering workshops, song jn d
i circles, meditation rooms and altars of cele-
, incorporating what you bring to share.
bm -IO pm Tuesday-Sunday 3125 E Burnside
§03-238-0675.) (11/00)
qualify for the Oregon Health Plan as well as a nee
dle exchange service. It also has some transitional
housing for youth 20 and younger as well as for
youth who are HIV+ and younger than 23. It also
plays host to VOICES (Voices of Individual and
Community Empowerment from the Streets), a self-
support group for queer youth. (10 am-6 pm
Monday-Fnday. 1236 S W Salmon St.
503-223-4121.) ( U /0 0 )
Southern Oregon Youth Outreach
(SOYO). a group for gay. lesbian, and bi youth
aged 14-20 meets on the first and Thursdays of
the month in Ashland. (541-488-6990)(11/00)
Washington Youth
Pam and Maggie sing for their supper
Nov. 11 at Touchstone Coffee House
JCod Connection Center for Worship,
l*rth and Leadership invites you to celebrate
spintuality with the Revs Berdell Moffett and
Chaney Liberal, practical: all are welcome
service every Sunday. 4828 NE 33rd Ave
1-7591J ( 1 1/00)
Space, a newly formed multidenommational
ual center led by the Rev. Stephanie Torres, holds
ay evening celebrations. (5 pm at Unity Church.
SE Stark St 5 0 3 2 8 7 -3 2 1 6 )0 1 /0 0 )
. the gay and lesbian ministry of the Episcopal
meets on the second Friday of each month m
“ 'Son Room at Trinity Cathedral Eucharist is cel-
ed at 6 45 pm followed by a potluck and feDowshp
NW 19th Ave , 503-289-1687.)
------ r ~l1ual Center. Gay men’s spintuality
form every other month Spintual directors from
*or1d rekgwus traditions are available for guid
W ashington Spirituality
East Vancouver United Methodist Church.
Reconciling, welcoming (10 am Sundays
5701 MacArthur Blvd. Vancouver. 360693-4761
ourdarkcounty cdumtxan.com/273/.7(11 /00)
Triple Point Youth Program is a
social/support group for gays, lesbian, bi and
trans youth between 13 and 22 in Vancouver. Wash
Meets 6-8 pm Tuesdays and 3:30-5 30 pm Thurs
days at 1104 Main St. Suite M-100 (Amanda
3 6 0 -6 9 3 1 1 8 8 )0 1 /0 0 )
Willamette Valley: Youth
First Congregational Church, United Church
of Christ. Two Sunday services, traditional and "less
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered and
Questioning Youth Group for ages 13-18
traditional" in an open and affirming congregation
(1220 NE 68th St Vancouver 360-693 1476 7(11/00)
offers support, information and fun Free, confiden
tial, drop-in (4-6 pm Fndays at Amazon Community
Center, 2700 Hilyard S t . Eugene 541 684-3466 )
Metropolitan Community Church of the
Gentle Shepherd. (10 am Sundays 913 W 13th
St . Vancouver 360-695-1480 )0 1 /0 0 )
Michael Servetus Unitarian Universalist
Fellowship. (10 am Sundays 4505 E 18th St
360-6951891.7(11/00)
( 11 / 00 )
Lesbian, gay, biMxual, transgender youth
group for ages 25 and younger meets every
Monday (5 pm Mondays at Koinonia Center.
1414 Kmcatd St . Eugene 541-346-1134 7(11/00)
Open up and say eew!
Bi braves buttsex but bans blowjobs
D ear M s .
B ehavior :
I’m very much
involved in a
good gay rela
tionship with a
man who is 10
years older than
me and quite
experienced.
To my sur
prise, the rela
tionship started
well and grew
into a loving one.
After a period of
time, we came to
a mutual agree
ment that we
were ready to
have safer sex.
First, we have foreplay, then he
performs oral sex on me, then I serve
as his bottom man, and if I can recu
perate, I serve as his top. Then we
have afterplay.
This all adds up to quite a fulfilling
sexual experience, or so I thought.
Here’s the problem: He wants me to
perform oral sex on him.
I’m a bisexual man and never have
been too keen on placing genitals in
my mouth. I never have done it, nor
do I have the desire to.
I don’t mind being versatile in
other ways, but I do mind performing
oral sex, even though he performs it
on me. So any advice would be
appreciated.
— Mr. Mouth
D ear M r . M outh :
You haven’t said why you’re
opposed to oral sex or whether you’re
willing to attempt to overcome your
aversion.
Do you find penises too dirty and
unsightly to put in your mouth? Do you
think that you’ll hum in hell for going
down on your boyfriend (hut that God
will forgive a little butt-boffing)?
Or perhaps you’re ambivalent
about your sexuality. Maybe you think
that only real homos suck dick and
that you can continue to call yourself
bisexual as long as you keep your jaw
clamped shut.
(Ms. Behavior has met several
allegedly bisexual women who resist
acquiring the frightening label “dyke"
by never crossing that delightful juicy
frontier. Ms. Behavior cannot help
hut suspect internalized homophobia.)
What seems to be at stake at the
moment, though, is your relationship
with your current boyfriend. Part of it
depends on how flexible you each are
about your position.
You elaborately describe a “fulfill
ing” sex life. But if your boyfriend
wants you to go down on him and
you won’t do it, he might feel less ful
filled than you think.
(Ms. Behavior can’t help but men
tion you’re in good company— at least
among heterosexual women.
Charlotte from Sex and the City never
wants to blow her boyfriends, and Ms.
Behavior’s friend Lulu swears her
boyfriend’s nuts
smell like mold.)
It’s important
to consider why
you feel the way
you do, perhaps
with the help of a
therapist. Then,
if you’re not
miraculously
cured of your
aversion to oral
sex, you at least
will be able to
discuss the issue
more openly with
your boyfriend.
If you’re really
lucky, though,
maybe you’ll
have a conver
sion experience. Perhaps in therapy
you’ll discover an irrational cause for
your distaste, resulting in a dramatic
transformation. You might find you
want to crawl around on your knees
every night after work, unzipping your
boyfriend’s trousers with your teeth.
But if nothing so dramatic happens,
don’t panic. There’s probably a gay man
somewhere who won’t mind if you don’t
blow him or might even prefer that you
keep your filthy mouth off his weenie.
D ear M s . B ehavior :
My best friend, Karen, has moved
in with me while she is between
apartments. Although she doesn’t
want a relationship with me, she
wants (and gets) all the perks of hav
ing a relationship.
She offers sex very occasionally
and gets upset when I tell her I want
more or I want to move on. What
should I do?
I have been pushed away from the
relationship dreams and now am
ready to move on. She seems to not
want that hut won’t admit it.
— S.B.
D ear S.B.:
Moving on is a good idea. If Karen
doesn’t share your feelings, she proba
bly never will.
Believe what she actually tells you
rather than your own hopeful inter
pretation of her actions. Lesbians
often find this hard to believe, but
sometimes people are willing to have
sex with you even if they don’t want a
relationship with you.
You sound resentful when you say
Karen gets all the perks of having a
relationship. But you’re the one who
is attaching strings you know she
doesn’t want.
Don’t give more than you can give
freely in a friendship context, and try
to avoid having your heart squashed
like a bug. This means really moving
on emotionally, which probably only
will happen once you date other peo
ple (or at least become obsessed with
someone new)
')■ i n
Write your confused and conflicted
heart out to Ms. BEHAVIOR at
Ms Behavtor@aol. com.