1
October 20.2000 *
organized to build a sense of community among gay
! men and lesbians m the Portland/Vancouver area.
Newsletter available by mail or e mail (360-735-1901,
Socialite s@aol com. >(11/00)
The Thorny Roses is a social group for lesbians, pnmar-
ily older than 45. who live in the Vancouver/Clark County
area. (Judy 360-906-1763. Judy342@cs.com.) (11 /00)
Interfaith Spiritual Center. Gay men's spmtuality
groups form every other month. Spintual directors from
various world religious traditions are available for guid
ance. classes and retreats. (3910 SE 11th Ave.. sec
ond floor. 503-233-2026. ext. 3 www.hometown
aol.com /dirho5/webpage.htm l.) (11 /00)
Lesbian and gay meditation group
“ Compassionate Heart Sangha," meets for meditation
in the Buddhist Vipasana tradition Donation requested
(7.30-9 pm Wednesdays at Flanders House. 2926 NE
Handers St. Jon 503-239-5539.) ( 11/00)
Willamette Valley: Social
GALA (Gay and Lesbian Alliance) meets at Lane
Community College, Eugene. (541-741-4501. ext.
2336.) (11/00)
Gay Men's Discussion Group meets Mondays
from 7:30 to 9 pm at the Koinonia Center,
1414 Kincaid, Eugene. (Hank 541-484-6259 or Trent at
tseager@hivalhance.org.) (1 1 /00)
Lane County Men's Health Network offers social
events, retreats, workshops and training for bt, gay and
trans men. Community calendars and mailings. Training
and networking men to build community from a grass
roots perspective. (1966 Garden Ave., Eugene.
541 342-5088. ext 23 tseager@ hivalliance.org.)( 11/00)
M arionberry Salon, formedy the Coalition to End
Bigotry Book Group, meets monthly in Salem for
, potlucks and discussions of books touching on lesbian,
gay or bisexual expenence. (Cary 503-363-6036.
caryandken@aot.com.) (11 /00)
The Lesbian Connection (TLC) Lunch Bunch
meets at 11 am every Sunday at the French Horn and
on the second Fnday of the month from 5 to 8 pm at
f the Fifth Street Market food court in Eugene. All
i women welcome. (Bonnie 5 4 1-683-2793.) ( 11/00)
Metanoia Peace Community (United Methodist) is
a “ house church," bringing gay and straight together.
(Daily prayer 7.20 am. Sunday gathenng 6 pm at
2116 NE 18th Ave. 503-281-3697.) ( 11/00)
Metropolitan Community Church of Portland
holds ecumenical Sunday morning worship services at
9 and 11 am. Sunday school for children is held during
the 11 am worship service. (2400 NE Broadway
503-281 -8868 mccpdx@ aol.com.)( 11/00)
Potter's House M inistries Life Center.
Evangelical and charismatic Chnstian. (3830 SE 62nd
Ave. 503- 775-5024.) (11/00)
Radical Fairies Fae Dirt info line: 503-235-0826
( 11 / 00 )
SisterSpirit offers women's spmtuality celebrations,
discussion groups, a drumming circle, workshops and
classes. Schedule of events available. All women are
welcome. (O ffice hours: 3-6 pm Tuesday-Fnday at
3430 SE Belmont S t. 4102. Mailing address: PO Box
9246. Portland. OR 97207. sistersp@ teleport.com.
503-736-3297) (11/00)
Southminster Presbyterian Church is a chal
lenging. supportive community that welcomes all peo
ple. It is the first More Light Presbyterian Church in
Oregon. (Sundays at 10 am summer, 9 30 and 11 am
winter. 12250 SW Denney Road. Beaverton.
503-644-2073.) ( 11/00)
SPIRITUALITY
Metro: Spirituality
St. Philip Neri gay and lesbian outreach. A gay/les-
Ainsworth United Church o f C hrist is a multira
cial, multicultural, open and affirming church. Sunday
worship is at 10 am. and church school for children
runs concurrently. (2941 NE Ainsworth St.
B 503-284-8767. aucc@ teleport com.)
The Anawim Community. Gay men meet weekly
for Chnstian meditation and prayer. (7:30 pm
Thursdays 503-281-0722.) (11/00)
Bridgeport Community Church (U.C.C.) is a
growing community of progressive, political people
exploring and celebrating the Chnstian faith. We are
multicultural, lesbian, gay. bi and straight, and our chil
dren are valued members. (10 30 am Sundays. 621 NE
76th Ave. 503-258-0992.) (11 /00)
Community o f St. Andrew invites all to join a
diverse Catholic faith community for prayer and fellow
ship. (9 30 am Sunday Mass. 806 NE Alberta St
503-281-4429.) (W O O )
Dignity Portland meets for Mass Sundays at 4 pm
at St. Stephens Episcopal Church followed by a social.
(Southwest 13th Avenue at Clay Street, e-mail, digm-
typdx@aol.com.) (1 1 /00)
Directions N orthw est (ECWR) helps gay and les
bian Chnstians integrate faith and sexuality through
Bible study and fellowship. (PO Box 86383. Portland.
OR 97286-0383. 503-727-3387.) (11/00)
Eastrose Fellowship Unitarian Universalist. a
welcoming congregation, offers Sunday service at
10:30 am. (1133 NE 181st Ave.. Gresham.
503-665-2628 eastrose@ teleport.com.) ( 11/00)
bian-positive community for Catholics and their fnends.
Mass at 7 30 pm on Fndays followed by a social. (Paulist
Center. 2408 SE 16th Ave. 503-231-4955.) ( 11/00)
St. Stephen's Episcopal Church, the new home
of the Portland Gay Men's Chorus, has been welcom
ing all people since 1863 (Wednesday service
12:10pm. Sunday services 7:45 am and 10 am.
Sunday school and child care at 10am. Southwest
13th Avenue at Clay Street 503-223-6424) ( 11/00)
University Park United Methodist Church is a
member of the network of Reconciling Congregations
and meets for worship each Sunday at 10 am . (4775 N
Lombard St. 503-289-7843)( 11/00)
Zion United Church of Christ, an open and
affirming congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, bisexual,
transgendered and heterosexual people who wish to
worship in a Christ-centered, warm, canng,
multiage/race/cultural faith community. (Service: 11 am
Sundays. 2025 NE 23rd Ave.. Gresham.
503-665-8741.) ( 11/00)
Washington: Spirituality
Universalist Congregation of Salem meets on the
third Sunday of each month for a potluck. (6 pm,
5090 Center St. NE. 503-363-8716 ) (11/00)
Interfaith Spiritual Community meets every
Sunday at the Heart Center for inspirational messages,
children s celebrations and py. We honor and celebrate
all sacred paths, recognizing each person s divine gifts
and supporting spintual growth, healing and enlighten
ment. (6-730 pm 1578 Commercial St. SE. Salem
503-763-6030.) (11/00)
Morningside United Methodist Church is a rec
onciling congregation where everyone is welcome to
participate in the full life of the congregation.
(8 30 and 11 am Sundays 3674 12th St. SE. Salem
503-364-5013.) ( 11/00)
Sweet Spirit Metropolitan Community Church
(MCC) holds worship at 11 am Sundays followed by
coffee and fellowship as well as potluck lunches every
second Sunday. (Services held at Amencan Legion Hall.
4 7 74 Lilac Lane NE. Salem Mailing address: Pastor
Ken Kerr. PO Box 12753. Salem. OR 97309.
503315-7923.) (11/00)
YOUTH
Metro: Youth
Outside In operates a clinic for anyone who can't
qualify for the Oregon Health Plan as well as a needle
exchange service. It also has some transitional housing
for youth 20 and younger as well as for youth who are
HIV+ and younger than 23. It also plays host to VOIC
ES (Voices of Individual and Community Empowerment
from the Streets), a self-support group for queer youth.
(10 am-6 pm Monday-Fnday 1236 SW Salmon St.
503-223-4121.)( 11 / 00 )
Pride Project bnngs together Washington County
lesbian, gay. bi, trans and questioning youth to plan and
attend monthly social events Also information, referral,
support and advocacy services for Washington County.
(M olly 503-260-5792.) ( 11 / 00 )
Rainbow is a multicultural peer support and activity
group for gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans and questioning
youth. (4 30 pm Mondays at M etropolitan Community
Church o f Portland. 2400 NE Broadway.
503-281-8868.) ( 11 / 00 )
Sexual Minority Youth Recreation Center
(SMYRC) offers drop-in computer access, pool tables
and an informal place to hang out Also plays host to
weekly youth support groups including Windfire. Trans
Youth Group and Personal Deity Proxy (a creative
group). (4-8 pm Wednesday. 4 pm-midmght Fnday and
Saturday 424 E Burnside St 503-872 9664.
www smyrc.org.) (M/00)
Youth HIV/STD Prevention Project provides fun
and educational programs along with counseling and
testing to queer youth in a fnendly. relaxed environ
ment. ( 503 - 872 - 9664 .) ( 11 / 00 )
YouthNet. a program of Love Makes a Family, offers
tutonng and mentonng for lesbian, gay, bi and trans
youth as well as for children of LGBT parents.
(503-227-19 8 1 )( 11 / 00 )
East Vancouver United Methodist Church.
Reconciling, welcoming. (10 am Sundays.
5701 M acArthur B lvd . Vancouver. 360-693-4761
ourclarkcounty colum bian.com /273/.) (11 /00)
First Congregational Church, United Church
o f C hrist. Two Sunday services, traditional and “ less
traditional' in an open and affirming congregation.
(1220 NE 68th St. Vancouver. 360-693 1476 )(11 /00)
Southern Oregon: Youth
The Sexual M inority Youth Recreation Group
o f Klamath Falls provides support for gay, lesbian,
bi. trans and questioning youth and their allies. (For
more information, e-mail boytoy22@hotmail.com)
( 11 / 00 )
Estacada United M ethodist
Church Reconciling Con
gregation, where we really mean
Southern Oregon Youth
Outreach (SOYO). a group
for gay. lesbian, and bi youth
aged 14-20 meets on the first
and Thursdays of the month in
Ashland (541-488-6990 )
everyone is welcome. Sunday wor
ship at 10 30 am. (204 SE Mam
St . Estacada.) ( 11/00)
( 11 / 00 )
First Congregational United
Church o f C hrist is an open and
affirming congregation in the liberal
Chnstian tradition Sunday worship
is at 10:25 am, and church school
for children runs concurrently.
(1 126 SIN Park Ave..
503 228-7219)
Washington
Youth
Triple Point Youth
Program is a social/sup-
Full Circle Temple is a place of
worship for women of all ages
offenng workshops, song and drum
circles, meditation rooms and altars
of celebration, incorporating what
you bnng to share. (lO am -IO pm
Tuesday-Sunday 3125 E Burnside St.
503238 0 6 7 5 ) 0 1/00)
F in d an a lte r ego a t th e G ra y s to n e G a lle ry 's 1 6th a n n u a l m ask
S h o w th ro u g h N ov. 12
___________
The God Connection Center fo r Worship,
Growth and Leadership invites you to celebrate
your spmtuality with the Revs Berdell Moffett and
Casey Chaney Liberal, practical: all are welcome
(10 am service every Sunday 4828 NE 33rd Ave
503-481 7 S 9 1.)(W 0 0)
M etropolitan Community Church of the
Gentle Shepherd. (10 am Sundays 913 W 13th
St.. Vancouver 360-695-1480) (11/00)
Willamette Valley: Youth
Michael Servetus Unitarian Universalist
Fellowship. (10 am Sundays 4505 E. 18th St
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered and
Questioning Youth Group for ages 13-18 offers
360-695-1891) (11/00)
support, information and fun. Free, confidential, drop m
(4-6 pm Fndays at Amazon Community Center.
2700 Hilyard S t . Eugene 541 -684 3466.) (11/00)
Grace Space, a newly formed multidenommational
spintual center led by the Rev Stephanie Torres, holds
Sunday evening celebrations (5 pm at Unity Church.
4525 SE Stark S t 503 287-3216 ) ( 1 1 /00)
Integrity, the gay and lesbian ministry of the Episcopal
Church, meets on the second Fnday of each month m
the Mom son Room at Trinity Cathedral Euchanst is cel
ebrated at 6 45 pm followed by a potluck and fellowship
(147 NW 19th Ave . 503 289 1687)
port group for gays, lesbian,
bi and trans youth between
13 and 22 in Vancouver,
Wash Meets 6-8 pm
Tuesdays and 3 30-5 30 pm
Thursdays at 1104 Main St.
i M -100 (Amanda
1-693-1188) (11/00)
Willamette Valley: Spirituality
First Congregational Church. United Church of
Chn§t. is an open and affirming congregation offenng
worship and church school Child care provided
Wheelchair accessible (10 am Sundays 700 Manon
S t NE. Salem 503 3633660 ) (11/00)
The Gay-Straight Alliance of the Unitarian
Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender youth
group fo r ages 25 and younger meets every
Monday (5 pm Mondays at Komoma Center.
1414 Kincaid S t . Eugene 5 4 1 346-1134 ) (11/00)
••*3 5
lipping the scales
Snubbed dyke demands decent service
D ear M s .
B ehavior :
I appreciate
your column and
read it religiously.
1
My question per
tains to the
inequality within
our community.
As lesbians, it
seems we are not
treated equally by
our brothers. To
keep this short,
I’ll share only one
example.
My experience
has been that
whenever I go
out to a gay/les-
hian bar and the
bartender is male, I never get fair serv
ice. If a man walks up to the bar after
me, he always get faster, more atten
tive service. It appears that the bar
tender is strained even to look at me,
let alone ask me what I’d like to drink.
It is a Catch-22 situation.
Women/leshians are accused of poor
tipping, yet we frequently receive rot
ten service. So, why tip that kind of
service?
Plus, if we are assertive and say
something, then of course we are
labeled “bitchy,” and the cycle contin
ues. How do you suggest handling this
inequality within our own community?
— Risky
definitely not
focused on build
ing my skills on
the task at hand.
She’s an
attractive,
sophisticated
older woman
who never has
experienced the
rapturous bliss of
making love
with another
woman. She
accepts me for
the out, soft-
butch, rebel les
bian 1 am.
At times, we
share eye-to-lip,
then eye-to-eye
glazed glances as well as seemingly
innocent touches, and when we meet
in the hall between classes, she often
tells me she was thinking of me. No
elaboration, just that she was thinking
of me. At other times, especially
when I’ve decided that today is the
day I’m going to find out whether
she’s interested in taking our friend
ship further, she seems to he with
drawn, shy or nervous about being
around me.
My dilemma is, at this point in our
friendship, should I risk all to pursue
intimacy with this lady who my fan
tasies are made of?
— Hanging by a Thread
D ear R isky :
Ms. Behavior will start with the
assumption that you’re not the kind of
lesbian who sits at the bar with nine
friends who drink a total of 36 beers,
eat 45 meatball heroes, split the bill to
the penny based on who got the most
meatballs, then tips two bucks. She
also will assume that the bartender is
not a shallow, crotch-gazing party boy.
With those as givens, if you’re rea
sonable customers, you should get
decent service. If you don’t, poor tip
ping with no comment is not the solu
tion; it only perpetuates the cheap-
dyke stereotype. (It’s also an excuse for
lesbians who really ARE cheap to feel
justified about their bad manners and
for gay men who dislike dykes to think
the bad service was warranted.)
So, when the bartender snubs you,
say something direct, but stick to the
situation at hand, describing why
you’re displeased. Do not try to educate
him about the entire cultural, political
and socioeconomic structure that per
petuates the oppression of your sisters.
Don’t, for example, remind him
that lesbians only get 49 cents for
every dollar a man cams. He doesn’t
care. And if you annoy him, he might
not wash your glass properly.
D ear H anging by a T hread :
What’s your other choice? To sit in
class and drool on your notebook?
It’s hard for Ms. Behavior to
understand why you perceive this as a
big risk. You clearly don’t want a
friendship with this woman, anyway;
you want her breath on your neck (or
your thighs or whatever). So, there’s
not much point in sitting around in a
worked-up state without finding out
whether she’s interested, too.
It’s true, Ms. Behavior usually
advises against messing around with
straight women. On the other hand,
it’s possible your friend really is a
fledgling dyke who’d like nothing bet
ter than “the rapturous bliss of mak
ing love with another woman.”
And everyone has to start some
where. So, if you want to pursue a
relationship with her (and don’t mind
dealing with all the issues that come
with someone's first queer relation
ship), tell her how you feel.
Be aware she might be the kind of
straight woman who’ll flirt and fanta
size but not dabble. If she tells you
she’s not interested, believe her.
Even if she expresses ambivalence
and goes back and forth, forget it.
You’d be signing up for drama and
trauma and probably torture. So, stay
away, unless you like that sort of
thing.
D ear M s . B ehavior :
A friend and I are continuing our
training in our respective technical
fields. We spend a lot of time in and
out of class together. However, when
we’re sitting so close that 1 can feel
her breath on my neck, my mind is
j[7]
Write your confused and conflicted
heart out to Ms. B E H A V IO R at
KisBehavior@aol.com.