O cto b er
Sunday 8 am-noon at the University o f Portland
Women and men players of all skill levels are welcome.
(Alex Godrnez 503-282-7210.) (1 1 /00 )
(1220 NE 68th St Vancouver. 360 693 1476.) ( 11/00)
M etropolitan Com m unity Church o f the
Gentle Shepherd. (10 am Sundays 913 W. 13th
Team Quest, the athletic and exercise program of
St.. Vancouver. 360-695-1480.)( 11/00)
Project Quest, offers individual, group, indoor and out
door physical recreation opportunities for people living
with HIV and AIDS (503-493 0288.) (11/00)
M ichael Servetus U nitarian U niversalist
Fellow ship. (10 am Sundays 4505 E. 18th St
360-695-18 9 1.)( 11/00)
Southern Oregon; Social
Willamette Valley: Spirituality
Abdill-Ellls Lambda Community Center plays host
to social events and groups. Call for schedule (Mailing
address: PO Box 927 Ashland, OR 97520. Location.
281 Fourth St.. Ashland. OR 97520. 541-488-6990,
lambdacntrfiaol.com, m rw .aelcca.org)(W OO)
F irst Congregational Church United Church of
Chnst. is an open and affirming congregation offenng
worship and church school. Child care provided.
Wheelchair accessible. (10 am Sundays. 700Manon
St. NE. Salem. 503-363-3660) ( 11/00)
Washington Social
The Gay-Straight A lliance of the U nitarian
U niversalist Congregation of Salem meets on the
SW W ashington Gay and Lesbian S ocialites is
a Vancouver-based organization whose members get
together regularly for social events and activities It was
organized to build a sense of community among gay
men and lesbians in the Portland/Vancouver area.
Newsletter available by mail or e-mail. (360-735-1901,
Socialites@ aolcom.) (11 /00)
third Sunday of each month for a potluck. (6 pm,
5090 Center St. NE. 503-363-8716.) ( 11 /00)
Inte rfa ith S piritual Com m unity meets every
Sunday at the Heart Center for inspirational messages,
children's celebrations and joy We honor and celebrate
all sacred paths, recognizing each person's divine gifts
and supporting spintual growth, healing and enlighten
ment. (6-730 pm. 1578 Commercial St. SE. Salem.
503-763-6030.) (11/00)
The Thorny Roses is a social group for lesbians, pn-
manly older than 45. who live in the Vancouver/Clark
County area (Judy 360-906-1763, Judy342@cs.com.)
( 11 / 00 )
(10 am service every Sunday. 4828 NE 33rd Ave
503-481-7591) (11/00)
Willamette Valley: Social
Grace Space, a newly formed multidenominational
GALA (Gey end Lesbien A llience) meets at Lane
Community College, Eugene. (541-741-4501. ext
23 3 6 .H U /0 0 )
Gey M en's D iscussion Group meets Mondays
from 7 30 to 9 pm at the Komoma Center.
1414 Kincaid, Eugene, (Hank 541-484-6259 o r Trent at
tseager@hivalhance.org.) (11 /00)
Lone County Men's Heelth N etw ork offers social
events, retreats, workshops and training for bi. gay and
trans men. Community calendars and mailings. Training
and networking men to build community from a grass
roots perspective. (1966 Garden Ave., Eugene.
541-342-5088, ext. 23 tseager@hrvalliance.org.)(\ 1/00)
M erionberry Salon form erly the Coalition to End
Bigotry Book Group, meets monthly in Salem for
potlucks and discussions of books touching on lesbian,
gay or bisexual expenence. (Cary 503-363-6036,
caryandkenQaol. com. 7(11 /00 )
spiritual center led by the Rev Stephanie Torres, holds
Sunday evening celebrations. (5 pm at Unity Church,
4525 SE Stark St. 503-287-3216.) (11 /00)
In te grity, the gay and lesbian ministry of the
Episcopal Church, meets on the second Fnday of each
month in the Mornson Room at Tnnity Cathedral.
Eucharist is celebrated at 6:45 pm followed by a
potluck and fellowship. (147 NW 19th Ave..
503-289-1687.)
In te rfa ith S p iritu a l Center. Gay men's spmtuality
groups form eveiy other month. Spintual directors from
various world religious traditions are available for guid
ance. classes and retreats. (3910 SE I Ith Ave., sec
ond floor. 503-233-2026, ext. 3 www hometown.
ad.com /djrho5/webpage.htm l.) (\ 1/00)
Lesbian and gay m editation group.
The Lesbian C onnection (T L Q Lunch Bunch
"Compassionate Heart Sangha," meets for meditation
in the Buddhist Vipasana tradition. Donation requested.
(730-9 pm Wednesdays at Flanders House, 2926 NE
Flanders S t Jon 503-239-5539) ( 11/00)
meets at 11 am every Sunday at the French Horn and
on the second Friday of the month from 5 to 8 pm at
the Fifth Street Market food court in Eugene All
women welcome. (Bonnie 5 4 1 -683-2793.) (11/00)
M etanoia Peace Com m unity (United M ethodist) is
a “ house church." bnnging gay and straight together.
(Daily prayer 7:20 am, Sunday gathenng 6 pm at
2116 NE 18th Ave 503-281-3697)( 11/00)
Metro: Spirituality
holds ecumenical Sunday morning worship services at
9 and 11 am. Sunday school for children is held dunng
the 11 am worship service (2400 NE Broadway
503-281 -8868 mccpdx@aol com.) (11 /00)
M etropolitan Com m unity Church o f Portland
A insw orth U nited C hurch o f C h rist is a m ultira
cial. multicultural, open and affirming church. Sunday
worship is at 10 am, and church school for children
runs concurrently. (2941 NE Ainsworth St.
503-284-8767. aucc@teleport com.)
The Anawim Com m unity. Gay men meet weekly
for Chnstian meditation and prayer. (7:30 pm
Thursdays 503 2 8 1 -07 22 ) (11/00)
Bridgeport Com m unity C hurch (U.C.C.) is a
growing community of progressive, political people
explonng and celebrating the Chnstian faith. We are
multicultural, lesbian, gay. bi and straight, and our chil
dren are valued members (10 30 am Sundays. 621 NE
76th Ave. 503-258-0992) (11/00)
Community o f St. A ndrew invites all to join a
diverse Catholic faith community for prayer and fellow
ship. (9 30 am Sunday Mass, 806 NE Alberta St.
503 281 4 4 2 9 )( 11/00)
P otter's House M in istrie s Life Center.
Evangelical and charismatic Christian. (3830 SE 62nd
Ave. 503-775-5024.) (11/00)
Radical Fairies Fae D irt info line: 503-235-0826
( 11 / 00 )
S is te rS p irit offers women's spmtuality celebrations,
discussion groups, a drumming circle, workshops and
classes. Schedule of events available All women are
welcome. (O ffice hours: 3-6 pm Tuesday Fnday at
3430 SE Belmont S t . 4102 Mailing address: PO Box
9246. Portland. OR 97207. sistersp@ teleport.com.
50 3-7 36-3 29 7)( 11/00)
S outhm inster Presbyterian Church is a chal
lenging. supportive community that welcomes all peo
ple It is the first More Light Presbyterian Church in
Oregon. (Sundays at 10 am summer. 9.30 and 11 am
w inter 12250 SW Denney Road, Beaverton
50 3-6 44-2 07 3)( 11/00)
D ignity P ortland meets for Mass Sundays at 4 pm
at St. Stephens Episcopal Church followed by a social.
(Southwest 13th Avenue at Clay Street e-mail, digm-
typdx@aol com. 7(11 /00)
St. P hilip N eri gay and lesbian outreach A gay/les-
D irections N orthw est (ECWR) helps gay and les
bian Chnstians integrate faith and sexuality through
Bible study and fellowship (PO Box 86383. Portland.
OR 97286-0383. 503 727-3387.) (11/00)
St. Stephen's Episcopal Church the new home
of the Portland Gay Men's Chorus, has been welcom
ing all people since 1863 (Wednesday service
12:10 pm; Sunday services 7. 45 am and 10 am
Sunday school and child care at 10am. Southwest
13th Avenue at Clay Street 503-223-6424 7(11 /00)
Eastrose Fellow ship U nitarian U niversalist. a
welcoming congregation, offers Sunday service at
10:30 am (1133 NE 181st Ave.. Gresham
503 665-2628 eastrose@ teteport c o m ) (W O O )
Estacada U nited M ethodist Church
Reconciling C ongregation, where we really mean
everyone is welcome. Sunday worship at 10 30 am
(204 SE Mam S t , Estacada )(1 1/00)
First C ongregational U nited C hurch o f C hrist
is an open and affirming congregation m the liberal
Chnstian tradition Sunday worship is at 10:25 am, and
church school for children runs concurrently (1126 SW
Park Ave.. 503228 7219.)
Full C ircle Temple is a place of worship for women
of all ages offering workshops, song and drum circles,
meditation rooms and altars of celebration, mcorporat-
mg what you bnng to share (10 am -10 pm Tuesday
Sunday 3125 E Burnside S t 503 238 0675.) ( 11/00)
The God Connection C enter fo r W orship,
Growth and Leadership invites you to celebrate
your spintuakty with the Revs Berdell M offett and
Casey Chaney Liberal, practical: all are welcome
bian-positive community for Catholics and their friends.
Mass at 7 30 pm on Fridays followed by a social (Pauhst
Center. 2408 SE 16th Ave 503-231-4955 7(11/00)
U niversity Park United M ethodist Church is a
member of the network of Reconciling Congregations
and meets for worship each Sunday at 10 am (4775 N
Lombard S t 503-289- 7843.) (11 /00)
Zion United Church o f C hrist an open and
affirming congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, bisexual,
transgendered and heterosexual people who wish to
worship in a Christ-centered, warm, canng,
m ultiage/race/cultural faith community (Service 11 am
Sundays 2025 NE 23rd Ave , Gresham
503-665-8741) (11/00)
Washington- Spirituality
U i t Vancouver United M ethodist C hurch.
Reconciling, welcoming. (10 am Sundays
5701 MacArthur B lvd . Vancouver 3606934761
ourclarkcounty Columbian com /273/.) ( ! 1 /00)
F irst C ongregational Church, United Church
o f C hrist. Two Sunday services, traditional and "less
traditional" m an open and affirming congregation
M om ingsido United M ethodist Church is a rec
onciling congregation where everyone is welcome to
participate in the full life of the congregation.
(83 0 and 11 am Sundays. 3674 12th S t SE, Salem.
503 364 5 0 13.) ( 11/00)
Sweet S p irit M etropolitan Com m unity Church
(MCC) holds worship at 11 am Sundays followed by
coffee and fellowship as well as potluck lunches every
second Sunday. (Services held at American Legion
Hall. 4 774 Lilac Lane NE. Salem Mailing address:
Pastor Ken Kerr, PO Box 12753. Salem. OR 97309.
503-315-7923 7(11/00)
Metro: Youth
Outside In operates a clinic for anyone who can't
qualify for the Oregon Health Plan as well as a needle
exchange service. It also has some transitional housing
for youth 20 and younger as well as for youth who are
HIV+ and younger than 23. It also plays host to VOIC
ES (Voices of Individual and Community Empowerment
from the Streets), a self-support group for queer youth.
(10 am-6 pm Monday-Fnday 1236 SW Salmon St.
503-223-4121. 7(11/00)
Pride P roject bnngs together Washington County
lesbian, gay. bi, trans and questioning youth to plan and
attend monthly social events. Also information, referral,
support and advocacy services for Washington County.
(Molly 50 3-2 60-5 79 2)0 1/00)
Rainbow is a multicultural peer support and activity
group for gay. lesbian, bisexual, trans and questioning
youth. (4 30 pm Mondays at Metropolitan Community
Church o f Portland, 2400 NE Broadway
503-281-8868.) (11/00)
Sexual M inority Youth Recreation Center
(SMYRC) offers drop-in computer access, pool tables
and an informal place to hang out. Also plays host to
weekly youth support groups including Windfire. Trans
Youth Group and Personal Deity Proxy (a creative
group). (4-8 pm Wednesday. 4 pm-midnight Fnday and
Saturday 424 E Burnside St 503-872-9664.
www. smyrc. org. 7(11 /00)
Youth HIV/STD Prevention P roject provides fun
and educational programs along with counseling and
testing to queer youth in a fnendly, relaxed environ
ment. (503-872-9664)() 1/00)
YouthNet a program of Love Makes a Family, offers
tutonng and mentonng for lesbian, gay, bi and trans
youth as well as for children of LGBT parents.
(503-227-1981) (11/00)
Southern Oregon: Youth
The Sexual M inority Youth Recreation Group of
Klamath Fall* provides support for gay, lesbian, bi.
trans and questioning youth and their allies. (For more
information, e mail boytoy22@ hotmailcom.)(\ 1/00)
Southern Oregon Youth Outreach (SOYO). a
group for gay, lesbian, and bi youth aged 14-20 meets
on the first and Thursdays of the month in Ashland.
(54 f 488 69907(11/00)
Washington Youth
Triple Point Youth Program is a socel/support
group for gays, lesbian, bi and trans youth between 13
and 22 in Vancouver, Wash Meets 6-8 pm Tuesdays
and 3 30-5 30 pm Thursdays at 1104 Mam St Suite M-
100 (Amanda 360-693 1188.) (11 /00)
Willamette Valley: Youth
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual. Transgendered and
Questioning Youth Group fo r ages 13-18 offers
support, information and fun Free, confidential, drop-m
(4-6 pm Fridays at Amazon Community Center.
2700 Hilyard St . Eugene 5 4 1 684 3466 7(11/00)
Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender youth
group fo r ages 25 and younger meets every
Monday (5 pm Mondays at Komoma Center.
1414 Kincaid S t. Eugene 541 3 4 6 I I 3 4 ) (11/00)
fi, 2 0 0 0 » Jatst oart.oo
Fasten your seat belts
Clingy pilot creates turbulence
D ear M s .
B ehavior :
I think I’m
emotionally ready
for a relationship,
hut the women 1
meet are so over-
eager it’s frighten
ing. W hat ever
happened to slow
dating, mutual at
traction and per
haps then a deci
sion to enter into
a relationship?
I recently had
two dates with a
dyke pilot. I
thought she had
the ideal sched
ule: two weeks in
New York City, two weeks in Alaska,
Dubai, Sri Lanka, etc.
But believe it or not, she was too
suffocating. O n the second date, she
asked me to spend a month in her
Amsterdam hotel room this fall. The
dialogue:
“Isn’t it a little soon to be planning
my autumn?”
“Oh, don’t worry, you can write
while I’m out working.”
T h at’s what we writers do, right?
Just park in any stranger’s hotel room
and make literature.
Why is it every dyke I meet wants
to merge with me? Is there any hope of
meeting a sane and lovely lesbian who
doesn’t want to press her belly button
into mine and instantly become one
with me?
Either way,
the bad news is
the only antidote
to your problem
is probably a con
scious effort to
suffocate the
other woman
first: On your first
date, look long
ingly into your
date’s eyes and
say, “I’ve never
felt like this
before.”
On your sec
ond date, bring
furniture, suitcas
es and pets.
By the third
date, present a
ring and a love poem.
Don’t he frightened if your date flees.
Just rest comfortably in the knowledge
that lesbian dating is affected by the
same global influences that cause floods
and fires and that nature eventually
likes to restore balance.
D ear M s . B ehavior :
I have no proof but highly suspect
my partner o f seven years is seeking
out the services of gay men who give
“massages.” His job causes him to trav
el for one out of every six weeks, so
this is something he easily can get
away with.
I think he sets it all up via the
Internet; however, I have no proof
except that he is a lot less homy these
days— he used to want sex all the
time, and I have caught him surfing
some pretty sexually oriented gay Web
sites. (H e never used to do that.)
I have come right out and asked
him about it. He totally denies doing it
and says he is madly in love with me,
but I think something is up.
— Suspicious
D ear J.:
Women who want to attach like
spongy cling-ons are scary and general
ly not very whole. However, if this
happens to you repeatedly, some of
your allure probably comes from your
unavailability.
This doesn’t mean you’re not won
D ear S u spicio us :
derful in many ways ranging from gcxxl
If every suddenly less-homy man in
hygiene to unspeakable charm. But if
a long-term relationship were seeking
random dykes try desperately to cap
the services of sexual masseurs, there’d
ture you, you probably seem aloof.
he a lot less competition for gcxxl jobs
waiting tables.
And if you have that magical combi
nation of detachment and friendliness,
It’s probably a mistake to approach
otherwise normal lesbians will stalk
this as an issue that’s just about whether
you like prey.
your partner is paying for sex. It’s more
Maybe you’re less ready for intimacy
important to discuss whether you and
than you think. If true, this makes you
he are happy together and how you can
a safe and appealing target, because in
improve your relationship.
her attraction to you, another dyke can
Yes, people sometimes will deny
feel ready for intimacy herself.
they’re having sex on the side, even
Unconsciously, she can tell you’re
when they are. You haven’t said
not available, though, so she can beg
enough for Ms. Behavior to offer an
for your attention without risking any
opinion on whether you’re likely to he
actual closeness. (Only one person
right-on or just horribly paranoid.
needs to he the obstacle to intimacy; it
Either way, you need to assess what
almost doesn’t matter which one.)
you think the underlying problems might
Then, the other dyke gets to wail in
he and discuss them with ycxjr partner
therapy about the misery of unrequited
directly. If he’s not willing to do that
love withtxjt having risked much.
with ycxj, he likely has lost interest in
Another possibility is you’re not
the relationship, whether or not he’s
actually aloof. Perhaps you’re just cen
seeking sexual services elsewhere. i n
tered in your own life in a healthy way.
If true, you probably aren’t as desperate
Write your confused and conflicted
for intimacy as most people are, which . heart out to M s. BEHAVIOR at
also makes you appealing.
M sBehaiiinQaol .com.