O cto b er Sunday 8 am-noon at the University o f Portland Women and men players of all skill levels are welcome. (Alex Godrnez 503-282-7210.) (1 1 /00 ) (1220 NE 68th St Vancouver. 360 693 1476.) ( 11/00) M etropolitan Com m unity Church o f the Gentle Shepherd. (10 am Sundays 913 W. 13th Team Quest, the athletic and exercise program of St.. Vancouver. 360-695-1480.)( 11/00) Project Quest, offers individual, group, indoor and out­ door physical recreation opportunities for people living with HIV and AIDS (503-493 0288.) (11/00) M ichael Servetus U nitarian U niversalist Fellow ship. (10 am Sundays 4505 E. 18th St 360-695-18 9 1.)( 11/00) Southern Oregon; Social Willamette Valley: Spirituality Abdill-Ellls Lambda Community Center plays host to social events and groups. Call for schedule (Mailing address: PO Box 927 Ashland, OR 97520. Location. 281 Fourth St.. Ashland. OR 97520. 541-488-6990, lambdacntrfiaol.com, m rw .aelcca.org)(W OO) F irst Congregational Church United Church of Chnst. is an open and affirming congregation offenng worship and church school. Child care provided. Wheelchair accessible. (10 am Sundays. 700Manon St. NE. Salem. 503-363-3660) ( 11/00) Washington Social The Gay-Straight A lliance of the U nitarian U niversalist Congregation of Salem meets on the SW W ashington Gay and Lesbian S ocialites is a Vancouver-based organization whose members get together regularly for social events and activities It was organized to build a sense of community among gay men and lesbians in the Portland/Vancouver area. Newsletter available by mail or e-mail. (360-735-1901, Socialites@ aolcom.) (11 /00) third Sunday of each month for a potluck. (6 pm, 5090 Center St. NE. 503-363-8716.) ( 11 /00) Inte rfa ith S piritual Com m unity meets every Sunday at the Heart Center for inspirational messages, children's celebrations and joy We honor and celebrate all sacred paths, recognizing each person's divine gifts and supporting spintual growth, healing and enlighten­ ment. (6-730 pm. 1578 Commercial St. SE. Salem. 503-763-6030.) (11/00) The Thorny Roses is a social group for lesbians, pn- manly older than 45. who live in the Vancouver/Clark County area (Judy 360-906-1763, Judy342@cs.com.) ( 11 / 00 ) (10 am service every Sunday. 4828 NE 33rd Ave 503-481-7591) (11/00) Willamette Valley: Social Grace Space, a newly formed multidenominational GALA (Gey end Lesbien A llience) meets at Lane Community College, Eugene. (541-741-4501. ext 23 3 6 .H U /0 0 ) Gey M en's D iscussion Group meets Mondays from 7 30 to 9 pm at the Komoma Center. 1414 Kincaid, Eugene, (Hank 541-484-6259 o r Trent at tseager@hivalhance.org.) (11 /00) Lone County Men's Heelth N etw ork offers social events, retreats, workshops and training for bi. gay and trans men. Community calendars and mailings. Training and networking men to build community from a grass­ roots perspective. (1966 Garden Ave., Eugene. 541-342-5088, ext. 23 tseager@hrvalliance.org.)(\ 1/00) M erionberry Salon form erly the Coalition to End Bigotry Book Group, meets monthly in Salem for potlucks and discussions of books touching on lesbian, gay or bisexual expenence. (Cary 503-363-6036, caryandkenQaol. com. 7(11 /00 ) spiritual center led by the Rev Stephanie Torres, holds Sunday evening celebrations. (5 pm at Unity Church, 4525 SE Stark St. 503-287-3216.) (11 /00) In te grity, the gay and lesbian ministry of the Episcopal Church, meets on the second Fnday of each month in the Mornson Room at Tnnity Cathedral. Eucharist is celebrated at 6:45 pm followed by a potluck and fellowship. (147 NW 19th Ave.. 503-289-1687.) In te rfa ith S p iritu a l Center. Gay men's spmtuality groups form eveiy other month. Spintual directors from various world religious traditions are available for guid­ ance. classes and retreats. (3910 SE I Ith Ave., sec­ ond floor. 503-233-2026, ext. 3 www hometown. ad.com /djrho5/webpage.htm l.) (\ 1/00) Lesbian and gay m editation group. The Lesbian C onnection (T L Q Lunch Bunch "Compassionate Heart Sangha," meets for meditation in the Buddhist Vipasana tradition. Donation requested. (730-9 pm Wednesdays at Flanders House, 2926 NE Flanders S t Jon 503-239-5539) ( 11/00) meets at 11 am every Sunday at the French Horn and on the second Friday of the month from 5 to 8 pm at the Fifth Street Market food court in Eugene All women welcome. (Bonnie 5 4 1 -683-2793.) (11/00) M etanoia Peace Com m unity (United M ethodist) is a “ house church." bnnging gay and straight together. (Daily prayer 7:20 am, Sunday gathenng 6 pm at 2116 NE 18th Ave 503-281-3697)( 11/00) Metro: Spirituality holds ecumenical Sunday morning worship services at 9 and 11 am. Sunday school for children is held dunng the 11 am worship service (2400 NE Broadway 503-281 -8868 mccpdx@aol com.) (11 /00) M etropolitan Com m unity Church o f Portland A insw orth U nited C hurch o f C h rist is a m ultira­ cial. multicultural, open and affirming church. Sunday worship is at 10 am, and church school for children runs concurrently. (2941 NE Ainsworth St. 503-284-8767. aucc@teleport com.) The Anawim Com m unity. Gay men meet weekly for Chnstian meditation and prayer. (7:30 pm Thursdays 503 2 8 1 -07 22 ) (11/00) Bridgeport Com m unity C hurch (U.C.C.) is a growing community of progressive, political people explonng and celebrating the Chnstian faith. We are multicultural, lesbian, gay. bi and straight, and our chil­ dren are valued members (10 30 am Sundays. 621 NE 76th Ave. 503-258-0992) (11/00) Community o f St. A ndrew invites all to join a diverse Catholic faith community for prayer and fellow­ ship. (9 30 am Sunday Mass, 806 NE Alberta St. 503 281 4 4 2 9 )( 11/00) P otter's House M in istrie s Life Center. Evangelical and charismatic Christian. (3830 SE 62nd Ave. 503-775-5024.) (11/00) Radical Fairies Fae D irt info line: 503-235-0826 ( 11 / 00 ) S is te rS p irit offers women's spmtuality celebrations, discussion groups, a drumming circle, workshops and classes. Schedule of events available All women are welcome. (O ffice hours: 3-6 pm Tuesday Fnday at 3430 SE Belmont S t . 4102 Mailing address: PO Box 9246. Portland. OR 97207. sistersp@ teleport.com. 50 3-7 36-3 29 7)( 11/00) S outhm inster Presbyterian Church is a chal­ lenging. supportive community that welcomes all peo­ ple It is the first More Light Presbyterian Church in Oregon. (Sundays at 10 am summer. 9.30 and 11 am w inter 12250 SW Denney Road, Beaverton 50 3-6 44-2 07 3)( 11/00) D ignity P ortland meets for Mass Sundays at 4 pm at St. Stephens Episcopal Church followed by a social. (Southwest 13th Avenue at Clay Street e-mail, digm- typdx@aol com. 7(11 /00) St. P hilip N eri gay and lesbian outreach A gay/les- D irections N orthw est (ECWR) helps gay and les­ bian Chnstians integrate faith and sexuality through Bible study and fellowship (PO Box 86383. Portland. OR 97286-0383. 503 727-3387.) (11/00) St. Stephen's Episcopal Church the new home of the Portland Gay Men's Chorus, has been welcom­ ing all people since 1863 (Wednesday service 12:10 pm; Sunday services 7. 45 am and 10 am Sunday school and child care at 10am. Southwest 13th Avenue at Clay Street 503-223-6424 7(11 /00) Eastrose Fellow ship U nitarian U niversalist. a welcoming congregation, offers Sunday service at 10:30 am (1133 NE 181st Ave.. Gresham 503 665-2628 eastrose@ teteport c o m ) (W O O ) Estacada U nited M ethodist Church Reconciling C ongregation, where we really mean everyone is welcome. Sunday worship at 10 30 am (204 SE Mam S t , Estacada )(1 1/00) First C ongregational U nited C hurch o f C hrist is an open and affirming congregation m the liberal Chnstian tradition Sunday worship is at 10:25 am, and church school for children runs concurrently (1126 SW Park Ave.. 503228 7219.) Full C ircle Temple is a place of worship for women of all ages offering workshops, song and drum circles, meditation rooms and altars of celebration, mcorporat- mg what you bnng to share (10 am -10 pm Tuesday Sunday 3125 E Burnside S t 503 238 0675.) ( 11/00) The God Connection C enter fo r W orship, Growth and Leadership invites you to celebrate your spintuakty with the Revs Berdell M offett and Casey Chaney Liberal, practical: all are welcome bian-positive community for Catholics and their friends. Mass at 7 30 pm on Fridays followed by a social (Pauhst Center. 2408 SE 16th Ave 503-231-4955 7(11/00) U niversity Park United M ethodist Church is a member of the network of Reconciling Congregations and meets for worship each Sunday at 10 am (4775 N Lombard S t 503-289- 7843.) (11 /00) Zion United Church o f C hrist an open and affirming congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, bisexual, transgendered and heterosexual people who wish to worship in a Christ-centered, warm, canng, m ultiage/race/cultural faith community (Service 11 am Sundays 2025 NE 23rd Ave , Gresham 503-665-8741) (11/00) Washington- Spirituality U i t Vancouver United M ethodist C hurch. Reconciling, welcoming. (10 am Sundays 5701 MacArthur B lvd . Vancouver 3606934761 ourclarkcounty Columbian com /273/.) ( ! 1 /00) F irst C ongregational Church, United Church o f C hrist. Two Sunday services, traditional and "less traditional" m an open and affirming congregation M om ingsido United M ethodist Church is a rec­ onciling congregation where everyone is welcome to participate in the full life of the congregation. (83 0 and 11 am Sundays. 3674 12th S t SE, Salem. 503 364 5 0 13.) ( 11/00) Sweet S p irit M etropolitan Com m unity Church (MCC) holds worship at 11 am Sundays followed by coffee and fellowship as well as potluck lunches every second Sunday. (Services held at American Legion Hall. 4 774 Lilac Lane NE. Salem Mailing address: Pastor Ken Kerr, PO Box 12753. Salem. OR 97309. 503-315-7923 7(11/00) Metro: Youth Outside In operates a clinic for anyone who can't qualify for the Oregon Health Plan as well as a needle exchange service. It also has some transitional housing for youth 20 and younger as well as for youth who are HIV+ and younger than 23. It also plays host to VOIC­ ES (Voices of Individual and Community Empowerment from the Streets), a self-support group for queer youth. (10 am-6 pm Monday-Fnday 1236 SW Salmon St. 503-223-4121. 7(11/00) Pride P roject bnngs together Washington County lesbian, gay. bi, trans and questioning youth to plan and attend monthly social events. Also information, referral, support and advocacy services for Washington County. (Molly 50 3-2 60-5 79 2)0 1/00) Rainbow is a multicultural peer support and activity group for gay. lesbian, bisexual, trans and questioning youth. (4 30 pm Mondays at Metropolitan Community Church o f Portland, 2400 NE Broadway 503-281-8868.) (11/00) Sexual M inority Youth Recreation Center (SMYRC) offers drop-in computer access, pool tables and an informal place to hang out. Also plays host to weekly youth support groups including Windfire. Trans Youth Group and Personal Deity Proxy (a creative group). (4-8 pm Wednesday. 4 pm-midnight Fnday and Saturday 424 E Burnside St 503-872-9664. www. smyrc. org. 7(11 /00) Youth HIV/STD Prevention P roject provides fun and educational programs along with counseling and testing to queer youth in a fnendly, relaxed environ­ ment. (503-872-9664)() 1/00) YouthNet a program of Love Makes a Family, offers tutonng and mentonng for lesbian, gay, bi and trans youth as well as for children of LGBT parents. (503-227-1981) (11/00) Southern Oregon: Youth The Sexual M inority Youth Recreation Group of Klamath Fall* provides support for gay, lesbian, bi. trans and questioning youth and their allies. (For more information, e mail boytoy22@ hotmailcom.)(\ 1/00) Southern Oregon Youth Outreach (SOYO). a group for gay, lesbian, and bi youth aged 14-20 meets on the first and Thursdays of the month in Ashland. (54 f 488 69907(11/00) Washington Youth Triple Point Youth Program is a socel/support group for gays, lesbian, bi and trans youth between 13 and 22 in Vancouver, Wash Meets 6-8 pm Tuesdays and 3 30-5 30 pm Thursdays at 1104 Mam St Suite M- 100 (Amanda 360-693 1188.) (11 /00) Willamette Valley: Youth Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual. Transgendered and Questioning Youth Group fo r ages 13-18 offers support, information and fun Free, confidential, drop-m (4-6 pm Fridays at Amazon Community Center. 2700 Hilyard St . Eugene 5 4 1 684 3466 7(11/00) Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender youth group fo r ages 25 and younger meets every Monday (5 pm Mondays at Komoma Center. 1414 Kincaid S t. Eugene 541 3 4 6 I I 3 4 ) (11/00) fi, 2 0 0 0 » Jatst oart.oo Fasten your seat belts Clingy pilot creates turbulence D ear M s . B ehavior : I think I’m emotionally ready for a relationship, hut the women 1 meet are so over- eager it’s frighten­ ing. W hat ever happened to slow dating, mutual at­ traction and per­ haps then a deci­ sion to enter into a relationship? I recently had two dates with a dyke pilot. I thought she had the ideal sched­ ule: two weeks in New York City, two weeks in Alaska, Dubai, Sri Lanka, etc. But believe it or not, she was too suffocating. O n the second date, she asked me to spend a month in her Amsterdam hotel room this fall. The dialogue: “Isn’t it a little soon to be planning my autumn?” “Oh, don’t worry, you can write while I’m out working.” T h at’s what we writers do, right? Just park in any stranger’s hotel room and make literature. Why is it every dyke I meet wants to merge with me? Is there any hope of meeting a sane and lovely lesbian who doesn’t want to press her belly button into mine and instantly become one with me? Either way, the bad news is the only antidote to your problem is probably a con­ scious effort to suffocate the other woman first: On your first date, look long­ ingly into your date’s eyes and say, “I’ve never felt like this before.” On your sec­ ond date, bring furniture, suitcas­ es and pets. By the third date, present a ring and a love poem. Don’t he frightened if your date flees. Just rest comfortably in the knowledge that lesbian dating is affected by the same global influences that cause floods and fires and that nature eventually likes to restore balance. D ear M s . B ehavior : I have no proof but highly suspect my partner o f seven years is seeking out the services of gay men who give “massages.” His job causes him to trav­ el for one out of every six weeks, so this is something he easily can get away with. I think he sets it all up via the Internet; however, I have no proof except that he is a lot less homy these days— he used to want sex all the time, and I have caught him surfing some pretty sexually oriented gay Web sites. (H e never used to do that.) I have come right out and asked him about it. He totally denies doing it and says he is madly in love with me, but I think something is up. — Suspicious D ear J.: Women who want to attach like spongy cling-ons are scary and general­ ly not very whole. However, if this happens to you repeatedly, some of your allure probably comes from your unavailability. This doesn’t mean you’re not won­ D ear S u spicio us : derful in many ways ranging from gcxxl If every suddenly less-homy man in hygiene to unspeakable charm. But if a long-term relationship were seeking random dykes try desperately to cap­ the services of sexual masseurs, there’d ture you, you probably seem aloof. he a lot less competition for gcxxl jobs waiting tables. And if you have that magical combi­ nation of detachment and friendliness, It’s probably a mistake to approach otherwise normal lesbians will stalk this as an issue that’s just about whether you like prey. your partner is paying for sex. It’s more Maybe you’re less ready for intimacy important to discuss whether you and than you think. If true, this makes you he are happy together and how you can a safe and appealing target, because in improve your relationship. her attraction to you, another dyke can Yes, people sometimes will deny feel ready for intimacy herself. they’re having sex on the side, even Unconsciously, she can tell you’re when they are. You haven’t said not available, though, so she can beg enough for Ms. Behavior to offer an for your attention without risking any opinion on whether you’re likely to he actual closeness. (Only one person right-on or just horribly paranoid. needs to he the obstacle to intimacy; it Either way, you need to assess what almost doesn’t matter which one.) you think the underlying problems might Then, the other dyke gets to wail in he and discuss them with ycxjr partner therapy about the misery of unrequited directly. If he’s not willing to do that love withtxjt having risked much. with ycxj, he likely has lost interest in Another possibility is you’re not the relationship, whether or not he’s actually aloof. Perhaps you’re just cen­ seeking sexual services elsewhere. i n tered in your own life in a healthy way. If true, you probably aren’t as desperate Write your confused and conflicted for intimacy as most people are, which . heart out to M s. BEHAVIOR at also makes you appealing. M sBehaiiinQaol .com.