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Control Queen needs to talk, not w alk
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Get a move on
;
with you, at least in terms of
D ear M s . B ehavior :
the amount o f time you can
I am training with a comput
spend together. Still, if you
er company for six months, then
want that domestic union feel
relocating to another city. I
ing that comes with having
have met the man of my
your dishes in the same cup
dreams, and we agree we want
boards and your panties in the
to spend our lives together
same drawer, it’s worth telling
instead of just having a summer
him.
fling.
At worst, if he says no,
The problem is I cannot find
maybe you can try it long-dis
the courage to ask him to move
tance
for a while and see how it
with me. I have tried to change
works. Maybe he’ll agree to
the relocation part of my con
move with you later on, once
tract with the company hut
you’ve established your life in
have been denied.
the new city and he can see
My boyfriend has a life here
what it’s like to be there with you.
and would have to move away from friends and
W hen you find a good match— there’s no
family for me. (1 don’t have that problem,
such
thing as “perfect”— it’s worth trying to
because I already have moved away from my
find a way to make it work. Ms. Behavior
friends and family to be here.)
always votes for romance.
1 am a traveling consultant and will be
If you both want the relationship, you’ll fig
gone throughout the week and only available
ure it out together. But this means having to
to see him on the weekends anyway, so flying
have a conversation about it, Missy.
back and forth each week is not a problem for
me. But the advantage of moving together is
D ear M s . B ehavior :
we could start a whole new life together.
W hat are your views on lesbian age differ
Work wouldn’t be a problem for him if he
ences? In your opinion, do you think age dif
moved with me; I already found him a very
well-paying job where we could relocate. This
ference should be a factor in getting involved
sounds to me like the per
in a relationship with
fect opportunity for both of
someone? (T h e age differ
I f you both
us, but I am scared he is not
ence I’m talking about is
going to like the idea.
a 16-year-old and a 20-
want the relationship,
He has said he would not
year-old.)
you'll
fiaure
it
out
together.
especially like a long-dis
—R
tance relationship with me.
But this means having
But on the other side, he
D ear R :
to have a conversation
said we could work through
Ms. Behavior wonders
anything that comes into
if you’re the fresh young
about it, Missy.
our paths because we are in
thing trying to seduce the
love and life always throws a
“older woman” or the
couple twists to make sure it is true love.
lecherous 20-year-old tempted by a supple
Still, 1 am wondering if we should continue
younger girl. Certain 16-year- old girls can
with our relationship. 1 am not sure whether to
look as mature as 20-year-olds, but it isn’t usu
move.
ally true; 16-year-olds aren’t usually relation
I do not want to lose him, but on the other
ship material (except maybe for other 16-year-
hand, I do not want to jeopardize both of our
olds).
careers as well. What should a person do when
Plus, in some states, the older woman might
he has found the perfect match?
risk being arrested if, for example, the teen-ager’s
— Should I C om e or Should We G o
parents chtxjse to press charges. (O f course, jail *
might be part of the fantasy.)
D ear S hould I C ome
Age is often a factor in relationships,
or S hould W e G o :
although not necessarily a problem. If you were
It sounds like you’re trying to make all the
older and the age difference were larger, it
decisions in your tiny little head.
might he expressed as an im
Does your boyfriend even
balance in financial or social
know you might move
power, particularly in
away? If you’re so in
terms of career.
love with each other,
However, the dif
how can you plan
ference you’re talk
what you’ll do
ing about sounds
without discussing
more like junior
all of this with
varsity lacrosse
him?
player vs. college
Ms. Behavior
sophomore, in
suspects you might
which case you
have a little of the
need not worry about
Control Queen gene.
standing under the
If partnership is a new
dyke corporate ladder
concept for you, you’ll need
(unless you’re superstitious or
an antidote to the control rhing.
fashion sensitive).
Practice these two sentences: “Here are my
thoughts on the situation. What do you think?”
■ Write your confused and conflicted heart out to
O n the practical end, if you’re only avail
Ms. B ehavior at M sBehavior@ aol.com .
able on the weekends, it might not initially
matter that much if your boyfriend moves