f
august 4 .2 0 0 0 « just out 2 g
%
D ip s tic k Lesbians and D yk es w ith H ot Rods
Willamette Valley: Health
invite women with cool cars to go cruisin' with them
W om enspace provides a 24-hour hot line and shelter
for women and children who have been abused physical
ly, sexually or emotionally and plays host to a lesbian
and bisexual women s support group (Cnsis
541-485-6513, business: 541-485-8232, lesbian
alliance: 541-302-2417.) (11/00)
SOCIAL
I
J
Metro: Arts & Music
F irst W ednesd ay S o c ia l is a potluck for HIV+ peo
ple and their fnends. (Contact Phillip at 503-493-3761.)
( 11 / 00 )
(503-284-5546) (11/00)
F R IE N D S is a weekly support and discussion group
for Afncan Amencan gay and bisexual men that meets
Wednesdays 5 to 7 pm (Bnan, 503-287-8651 .H 1 1/00)
Funny Ladies Tea and Posy S o c ie ty is a soc : I
group for lesbians 35 and older singles or couples
They meet for a potluck on the third Saturday of each
month and take camping trips during the summer
Monthly newsletter is $9 a year (503 232-9714 )
( 11 / 00 )
G e n tle G iants of O reg o n is a group dedicated to
providing an accepting social environment for chubby
men and the men who like tnem that way.
(503-241-4535 or www chubnet net/genilegiants. )
( 1 1 / 00 )
im p e ria l S o v ere ig n Rose C o u rt o f O reg o n is a
Help create a Lesbian A rt G u ild Call the Lesbian
Community Project for the date of the next planning
meeting For more information, call 503-223-0071 or
503-285 4339 (11/00)
nonprofit social organization dedicated to raising money
for charities within the gay. lesbian, bisexual and trans
community ISRC Event Hotline lists upcoming events
The P o rtlan d Lesbian C h o ir welcomes supoortive
members and volunteers (503-241-8994 H 1 1/00)
( 11 / 00 )
P ortland G ay M e n 's C h o ru s is open to singers.
J e w is h G ay M e n 's G roup — call for meeting time
and place. (503-246-5939. efratmlevi@aol.com.) ( 11 /0 0 )
An informal L e a th e r N ig h t and R ed H anky S ocial
are held the first and third Fnday of each month (9 pm-
PHOTO BY MARTY DAVIS
support members and volunteers. (503-460-3689
www.pdxgmc.org.) (1 1 /0 0 )
(503-306-0700. ISRC@aol.com.
www. geocities com/WestHollywood/Heights/ 788 7 )
O reg o n B ears is a social group for bears and their
admirers Newsletter, activities and monthly social gath
erings (503-240-2813 www oregonbears o rg ) 0 1 /0 0 )
O R G A N (O re g o n R egional Gay and N a k e d ) is a
social club for gay men who enjoy being nude Monthly
potlucks and events Guests are invited to attend two
events before deciding on membership (ORGAN PO
Box 14174. Portland, OR 97293-0174)( 11/00)
P o rtlan d B isexual A llian ce plays host to social and
political events for bisexual and bi-fnendly people, orga
nizes Portland Bi Day rally and publisnes calendar of
events Mixed-gender discussion groups are held 7 pm
on the first and third Fndays of the month at Laughing
Horse Books. 3652 SE Division St (503-775-9717.
pba@biportiand org www. biportland. org 3(11 /00)
P o rtlan d L e ath er A llian ce is a pansexual. not-for-
profit organization dedicated to fostenng a positive com
munity for safe, sane and consensual alternative adult
sexualities in general and S/M/leather/fetish in particu
lar (503-727-3148 w ww pdxleatheralhance.org.)
( 11 / 00 )
Portland M e tro P rim e Tim ers is a social group for
men. (PO Box 5884. Portland. OR 97228
503-244-7550 or 360-254-1718
pdxpnmetimers@yahoo.com.) (11 /0 0 )
P S U Q u ee rs and A llies offer educational and social
programming and support and referral services for peo
ple of all onentations and colors. Everyone is invited to
participate in activities and meetings (441A Smith
Memonal Center. Portland State University campus
E-mail: queersandallies@mail.pdx edu
www. ess pdx edu/sfcsg/queersandalhes
503-725 5681.)( 11/00)
Rose C ity D iscussion C lu b the largest open pan-
sexual club in the Northwest, is open to all onentations.
fetishes and lifestyles that are safe, sane and consensu
al Monthly meetings, workshops and newsletter
(503-972-1869 rcdc@teleport com.
www. teleport com/~rcdc.) ( 11 /00)
Togeth er W orks a confidential group for lesbians,
gays, bisexuals and fnends, meets for socials and dis
cussions of topics of mutual interest Meets second and
fourth Mondays. (7.30 pm May-September. 7 pm
October-Apnl Firs! Baptist Church. 125 SE Cowls St..
McMinnville. Don 503-434-6266 H 1 1/00)
Metro: Physical Recreation
The A d ve n tu re G roup Portland s gay and lesbian
outdoors group, organizes a vanety of activities and
social events including hiking, skiing, mountain biking,
camping and rafting. (503-452-5680. www,adventure-
group org.) (\ MOD)
B o rd e r R id ers M o to rc yc le C lu b the largest
motorcycle club for gay men and fnends in Western
Canada and the Pacific Northwest, plays host to day
runs and camping events (bcbiker@yahoo com.
www bordemders org.) (11 /0 0 )
C L IP S -C y c lin g Lesbians in P ortland meets
Mondays at 6 pm for bicycle ndes All nding levels wel
come. (503-254-6971.) (11/00)
FO R E S T G roup outings are cooperative adventures
for women Participants are responsible for providing
their own equipment and choosing outings appropriate
for their skill and fitness level All skill levels welcome.
(503-286-5382 www odm.cc.pdx eduZ-gi/m) ( 11/00)
G al Pals is a new group for single lesbians (For infor
mation visit
www geocities. com/RodeoDnve/B0006204454/3346/
GAL-PAL htm!) ( 11/00)
It's a study in contrasts as the ISRC presents
the fifth annual Leather and Lace Show at
Em bers Avenue Aug. 10
K -9 C lu b is a group of kindred folks and their dogs
who meet to hike and talk in Portland parks on the sec
ond Sunday of each month. (503 285 2 9 8 6 )( 11/00)
Lesbian E questrian G roup Do you have a horse7
Looking to get together with womyn and horses for
equestnan activities in the Pacific Northwest? (Denise
The Real C o n n e c tio n is a social gathenng for gay
men who are artists, wnters or musicians or who pursue
some creative activity. Monthly potlucks on the second
Fnday (Todd 5 0 3 -2 3 6 -5 7 6 1 ) (1 1 /0 0 )
Rose C ity G ay F re ed o m B an d is a concert band
open to lesbian, gay, tx. trans and supportive musicians
and fnends. (PO Box 1082. Portland. OR 97207.
503-790-2170. commumty.oregonlive.com/cc/rcgfb.)
midnight at the Dirty Duck Tavern, 439 NW Third Ave
503-224-8446. PDXSaltyDg@aol com) (11/00)
L esbians Enjoying th e S ciences is a fun loving
group of women who enjoy explonng all aspects of the
environment. Activities include bird watching, nature
walks, archaeology, rock collecting, camping, kayaking,
star gazing, an occasional 'lecture" and a monthly plan
ning potluck. No expenence necessary (645-830 pm
Bisexual C o m m u n ity F o ru m is an age and gender
inclusive social, support and education network founded
in 1980 Activities include dances, potlucks. field tnps
and a polyamory interest group. Meetings are held on
the first and third Mondays. (7 30 pm at Mo/o's Coffee
Den. 2853 SE Stark St Laury 503-285-4848) ( 1 1 /0 0 )
B rother to B ro th e r is a family of Afncan Amencan
gay and bisexual men dedicated to the empowerment of
and improvement in the quality of life within our commu
nity Board meetings every third Monday of the month at
5 30 pm (Bnan. PO Box 3182. Portland. OR 97208
503 417-7991.)U \/0 Q )
Lesbian G arden C lub is a group of women who love
gardens and gardening. They exchange plants, seeds,
advice and encouragement while having a good time
Please call or e-mail for a current copy of the newsletter
and information about upcoming events (Kathe
503-909-2002. e-mail LGCOregon@aol.com.)(1 1/00)
L e sb ia n social g ro u p fo r w o m en 5 0 and o ld er
O u t D ancing teaches partner dancing for same-sex
couples at Sally Mack's School of Dance Classes for
different dance styles start the first Fnday of each
month. (503-236-5129.) (11/00)
meets on the third Saturday of the month. (4-7 pm
503 642-3360. 503-331-0415.) ( 11/00)
P o rtlan d G ay and Lesbian C om m unity
B ow ling A ssociation meets Sundays at 4 pm at
second Thursday planning meeting 503-289-3605 or
503-466-0058 or e-mail to lespnw@aol com.) (11 /00)
Metro: General
503 654 3865. Lynn 503-777-2339. e-mail
ketrav@rdrop com.) (11/00)
Long Yang C lu b —P o rtla n d C h a p te r a social
group for Asian gays and lesbians and their fnends,
meets at 8 pm on the first Wednesday and third Sunday
of each month at 3 Fnends Coffeehouse.
(503-963-184 l.)(1 U 0 0 )
Lulu's P ervy P layhouse is a social group for self
identifying women who are into S M Play parties are
held on the second Saturday of the month (luluhstQhot
mail com. www spiretech.com/~awnhe/lulu htm.
503-231 3992) (1 1 /0 0 )
C ocksure is a social group for female-bom. gender
M o u n t H o o d W om yn network professionally and
socially (503 701-8302.)(W OO )
vanant people including FTMs. transguys, genderqueers
and significant others W e are based in Portland and
welcome folks from Oregon and Washington. For more
m o about our monthly meetings and e-mail network, call
503-471-1515 ( t i / 0 0 )
N o rth w e s t G e n d e r A llian ce is a social and support
organization for cross-dressers and transsexuals
Monthly open meetings and socials (PO Box 4928.
Portland. OR 97208 503-646-2802
www teleport com/-nwga 3(11 /00)
Hollywood Lanes. 40th Avenue and Halsey Street (PO
Box 80002. Portland. OR 97280-1002 503 293-0438
BOWLpdx@aol com
members ao! com/BOWLpdx/pcba htm l) (11/00)
R osatow n R am blers. Portland's gay and lesbian
square dance club, dances at mainstream, plus and
advanced levels (PO Box 5352. Portland. OR
97228-5352 503 234 9944.
www.rdrop.com/users/rambters) (1 1/00)
Team P o rtlan d Tennis A ssociation plays every
Sunday 8 am-noon at the University of Portland Women
and men players of all skill levels are welcome (Alex
Godinez 503 282-7210 ) ( \ 1/00)
Team Q uest, the athletic and exercise program of
Project Quest, offers individual, group, mdoor and out
door physical recreation opportunities for people living
with HIV and AIDS (503-493 0288 H 1 1/00)
D ear M s .
B ehavior :
with her two dad
dies, absolutely no
hand jobs in the liv
ing room.
My long-term
boyfriend, Larry, has
a
ter, Heather, whom
D ear M s .
I've never met. He’s
B ehavior :
bringing her to visit
1 recently ended
this month, and
a three-year rela
she’s planning to
tionship with a
stay with us for the
woman 1 met in
summer.
prison. This woman
The problem is
thinks prison is
that I’m not sure
lesbian paradise,
how to behave
and she’s been
around her.
there 12 years!
Ordinarily, Larry
We both had
and I are aftec-
drug charges; I did
tionate. For exam
less than three
ple, when I pick
years. She can’t
Parental patience
him up at the air
make parole be
must
be
practiced,
port, I usually give
cause she chooses
him a long, deep
to do her time on
else daughter will be
kiss.
her knees, if you
driven to disgust
Would that be
catch my drift. 1
inappropriate in
was celibate.
front of his daughter? Also, should
I ended the relationship and
we refrain from hand holding or
met someone online. She moved in
massaging each other while she vis two weeks ago. I tried to break this
its? When I mentioned it to Larry,
off because I wasn’t comfortable
he told me not to worry, that we’d
with the age difference. She’s 19,
just see how it goes. If I butch it up
I’m 40.
or act less affectionate, is that
But she won my heart. Now,
homophobic?
every time I say or do something,
—Jack she says, “You think just because
I’m 19....” It’s driving me nuts, and
D ear J ack :
I don’t want to break up because I
Wouldn’t you have been
love her. Who’s uncomfortable, and
repulsed, as a teen-ager, to watch
how do we deal with it?
your mother slip your father the
—A ngelDyke
tongue? Homophobia isn’t really
the issue; teen-agers are horrified by D ear A ngel D yke *.
parental sexuality, even when their
You and your teen-ager are both
parents are straight. Sixteen-year-
uncomfortable, because it’s hard
old girls are especially easy to dis
not to be “Mommy” with a 19-year-
gust.
old. Try not to take care of her too
You and Larry should be gradual
much; don’t make all her meals,
in your affectionate behavior
and don't say, “Clean your room
Affection
suggestion
When people say, “I don’t want to break it off because
I love her,” it really means, “This may wrench my guts
and tempt me to drink hemlock,
but l can’t give it up y et,”
around Heather. If her threshold for
grossness is exceeded from the
beginning, she probably won’t
accept you.
So, when you meet them at the
airport, shake Heather’s hand, and
give Larry a manly embrace. (OK,
the manly part is optional.) If, after
a few days of witnessing hand
holding during meals, Heather
still hasn’t regurgitated your homo
sexual dinner, you can assume that
small gestures of affection are OK.
Don’t try to get her to call you
“Daddy” (unless Larry already
does). Don’t buy yourself a pair of
clam diggers and a Britney Spears
CD in attempt to impress her;
there’s nothing more pathetic than
middle-aged people trying to be
hip.
And even once she seems com
fortable, draw a careful line be
tween affection and overt sexuality.
No matter how cool Heather seems
right this minute, young lady.” It
will be deadly for your sex life and
make you feel old.
Ms. Behavior isn’t sure where
the prison girlfriend fits in, but
maybe you like uneven power
dynamics. Was she in charge of
rationing cigarettes or body cavity
searches? How’d you have a rela
tionship if you were celibate? (Or is
this just a 1950s pulp fantasy?)
When people say, “I don’t want
to break it off because I love her,” it
really means, “This may wrench my
guts and tempt me to drink hem
lock, but I can’t give it up yet.”
Love is a force of nature. Ms.
Behavior sometimes offers gentle
cautions, but she won’t stand in the
way.
■ Write your confused and conflicted
heart out to Ms. B e h a v i o r at
MsBehavior@aoi.com.