Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013, May 21, 1999, Page 8, Image 8

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J liM iU h e w s
L ow - income L everage
Investing isn’t about placing a trade.
It’s about planning a future.
Love M akes a Family's low-income project connects
Fred R. Elledge
sexual minority families to social services by Michael Barrett
Assistant Vice President-Investments
One Main Place, Ste. 1040,
101 SW Main St., Portland
503 248-1334
1 800 444-3235
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an out family.
All agree that being out encourages pride
and self-affirmation within the family unit,
which is an important aspect of gay and lesbian
parenting; still, some parents admit they feel the
need to downplay their sexuality in certain situ­
ations.
Some parents even skip their childrens
school-related activities because of concerns
about homophobia. The
parents of adolescents note
that sporting events in par­
ticular often seem omi­
nous.
One mother, who
asked to remain anony­
mous, complains of what
she describes as “a generic
jock homophobic environ­
ment (encouraged by her]
son’s football coach, a
member of the (Oregon
Citizens Alliance who]
made a lot of homophobic
remarks during practice.”
The situation was so
extreme that her son asked his mother not to
bring her partner to his games.
Another parent says that when she came out
of the closet, she displayed her pride by placing
bumper stickers on her car.
“People threw eggs at my house and my car,
and my kids got harassed [for having a lesbian
mother],” she says, adding that she felt com­
pelled to choose between pride and the safety of
her children. She removed the stickers.
Other parents, meanwhile, say they are
adamant about remaining open about their sex­
uality.
“If you can’t behold your lesbianism as a
beautiful, valuable thing, your children will pick
up on that,” says Shez, a mother of one.
David, a father of two, echoes her sentiment.
He fears sending mixed messages about his sex­
uality to his children “by being hesitant...
because they will grow up being hesitant about
it themselves.”
But one mother counters: “1 don’t want to
shove anything in their face, like Tm queer’ or
‘I’m a lesbian.’ I just want to be an effective par­
ent. It’s not about me, it’s about being a mom."
Greg Thompson, a Franklin High School
counselor and a gay parent, is the meeting’s
facilitator. “You make decisions based on your
own environment and reality,” he explains.
And you play different roles according to the
situation.”
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R eal M o t h e r G o o s e
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and 1**98
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Portland Airport
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ne evening in early May, a hand­
ful of sexual minority parents are
plunked down in a Northeast
Portland church where they
weigh the pros and cons of being
he meeting—sponsored by Love Makes a
Family, a Portland-based organization for
sexual minority families— includes participants
from gay and lesbian families from various eth­
nic and socio-economic backgrounds.
Some attendees are from the organization’s
“low-income sexual minority family project.”
The pilot project, funded by the city of Port­
land, aims to address the needs of low-income
sexual minority families.
Kerri Dee, a graduate student of social work
at Portland State University, works with the
project. Her job is to find families in need who
qualify for the project and build a support net­
work among them.
She has helped parents access child care and
legal resources, and assisted them with the red
tape of the welfare system.
On the project since last fall, Dee has post­
ed flyers at various social service agencies,
bookstores, bars and other locations. Still, there
are currently only seven families in the pro­
gram, which is funded for 10.
“Recruiting families is the most difficult part
of my job,” Dee says.
Despite that, Bonnie Tinker, executive
director of Love Makes a Family, says her orga-
nization “determined there was a need [tor this
project] via personal experience among
staff...and from meeting other families in
need.”
O
n this night in early May, sexual minority
families of all income levels are sharing
their thoughts.
“After all, no matter what our income, we
have to deal with many of the same issues," Tin­
ker says.
But she also acknowledges that low-income
families encounter special difficulties.
“Low-income families lack the resources
middle-class families have that allow them to
insulate their children [and] build support net­
works,” she explains.
Having a chance to come together can alle­
viate some of the stress and provide low-income
families with a vital network base.
While Portland is considered relatively pro­
gressive with regard to sexual minority issues,
suburbs and rural areas offer a stark contrast
and the situation can be particularly bleak tor
low-income parents outside urban boundaries,
says Marcy Westerling of the Rural Organizing
Project, a nonprofit organization that works
with human dignity groups in rural and small­
town Oregon.
Lower wages and fewer job opportunities
notwithstanding, Westerling says, “gays and les­
bians are already econom ically vulnerable
because they face possible discrimination at
work based on their sexuality, and they do not
have the legal protection found in cities.’
Given all that, any support— especially far
those sexual minorities strapped with financial
constraints— is critical, she and Tinker say.
Though the city’s funding is a one-time deal
that is winding down, Tinker vows: Were
committed to maintaining this project. We
believe it’s very necessary.”
■ Sexual minority families seeking support may tall
L ove M akes a F amily at (5 0 3 ) 228-3892.