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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 18, 1998)
decomber 18. 1998 « J u s t o u t 2 1 KEEPING +HE fAI+H Continued from page 19 you are, help me.’ Somehow that shifted my consciousness. I began to see that there are other ways to live.” Their life today reflects that. Schooled in New Thought spirituality, Chaney and Moffett lead a congregation at The God Connection in Beaverton. “We’re very lightly traditional,” says Chaney, explaining their church. “We allow people to make [God] who they need him to be. We don’t believe in literal hell. We believe the essence of all people is good, not evil. We use the Bible, but we root it metaphysically.” The congregation, which began meeting with 15 people in Chaney and Moffett’s Beaver ton living room in 1992, has since evolved to 75 members—still in need of a permanent venue— of mostly lesbians and gay men with a few het erosexuals, including one straight board mem ber. “It was for a long time a lot of lesbians,” says Chaney. “We used to go out and fish for gay men.” Chaney describes their typical parishioners as having one basic commonality: “All of them seem to have a passion for understanding God as God works in their lives. They all want to find out how to better live their lives using principles most people would apply to God. They’re risk- takers. They’re willing to try this stuff. They’ve got to let go of egos, old beliefs.” Moffett echoes that sentiment, adding that the most important message she tries to convey is that “there’s some time that we have to reach out in our lives because we can’t do it by our selves.” While Moffett is referring to God, it’s seems unlikely that Moffett and Chaney could do what they do without each other, either. Says Moffett, “I have passion for God, a pas sion for church and passion for Casey—she’s a hot tamale.” ‘ I’ M S E A R C H I N G , I’ M O P E N , I’ M H O P E F U L ’ S till a young man, 24-year-old Alex Villarreal combines his spirituality and sexuality in a way that defies con ituality and sexuality. And while he’s not expecting wholesale acceptance or understand ing any time soon, he’d apparently settle for a little respect. “One day,” Villarreal says with a note of opti mism, “Christians and gays...can still eat at the same table and pass the bread of respect. Respect is so crucial. It’s important we show respect to each other as humans.” More somberly, Villarreal’s steadfast visage lowers for a moment to reveal pain: “I’m search ing. I’m open. I’m hopeful that I’ll finally get over the nightmare of what I believe and hold so dear conflicting with what I believe to he natur al—being attracted to the male gender.” vention. “I am a Christian,” Villarreal declares. “I read his word. I pray. However, I’m truthfully attract ed to men and I’m not ashamed of it.” But there’s one catch: “He says homosexuals will not enter the kingdom of heaven, and that scares me.” While Villarreal insists, “I’m open to a deep relationship with another man,” the compromise is that the relationship will have to be platonic. His position leaves him vul nerable to criticism from both his religious peers and his gay peers. It’s a situation he’s aware of and resents. He seems suspicious of both, saying, “There isn’t enough understanding on the church’s part or the gay community’s.” On one hand, Villarreal no longer attends church services because of what he perceives as hypocrisy: “They preach peace, but show no tolerance. Rather than showing tolerance, they show anger.” On the other, gay acquaintances have labeled him “confused” and confronted him with pointed questions like, “You believe I’m going to hell?” That some Christian denomi nations affirm homosexuality doesn’t hold water with Villar Alex Villarreal real. “I don’t think you can take bits and pieces,” he says. “If you take the Bible, you need to take everything.” He adds, “I would say...[Christians practic ing homosexuality] are not coming from what ‘the word’ says”—hut he diplomatically offers that such a faith is one’s prerogative. “It’s not for me to stand in their way,” he concludes. Despite his precarious position, Villarreal holds tightly to both his particular brand of spir thrown out when they were discovered as gays or lesbians. They believed for many years that God hated them and that their prayers would not be answered. Here they can reclaim their spiritual journey, and there’s a hunger to do that across the country.” Cole’s church even has a dozen or so hetero sexual members, one of whom sits on its hoard of directors. ne similarity “What they get out of it is a community between a queer unlike others, where there’s not a dogma that church and a makes demands of you,” he says. “Plus, we’re queer bar is hard to miss. socially and politically active, and I think peo “The most difficult thing ple appreciate that.” is for a person to walk in the Perhaps for true spiritual healing to occur, door,” says Roy Cole, pastor one of the symptoms might be that it would no of Metropolitan Community longer matter whether you’re queer or not. Church of Portland, a con “Yes,” Cole says. “It’s our goal that someday gregation that is a member we’ll simply he a church. Hopefully, the lines of of the queer community’s demarcation will cease.” answer to mainstream reli But for now Cole and his congregants are gion. (The Universal Fel busy providing space and support for queers with lowship of Metropolitan spiritual and communal inclinations. MCC not Community Churches has only offers worship services, hut provides space 300 venues in 14 countries.) for a range of queer "I’ve heard stories about 12-step programs, people driving around the office facilities for the church three or four times Portland Gay Men’s on a Sunday morning, afraid Chorus and an active to come in, and then coming AIDS ministry, back the next week and sit which includes a food ting in the hack pew so they pantry. can make a quick getaway,” “Our biggest chal he explains. lenge is to keep up But once inside, Cole with the growth,” he says, most people find some says proudly. “As a thing everybody could prob congregation, it’s a ably use. wonderful challenge “People find that there’s to have.” ‘T h e r e ’ s a HEALING COMMUNITY HERE’ O The Rev. Berdell Moffett (left) and the Rev. Casey Chaney 1 a healing community here,” he says. “There’s great healing in being in a group of 200 people where you’re not the minority, where people are sharing a spiritual journey similar to your own.” Cole’s own journey no doubt lends strength to his congregation. After coming out, he was forced to resign from his position with the Church of God. He’s been with Portland’s MCC since 1994, when the church had 56 members. It now has 200, which Cole considers a remark able, though not unusual, growth spurt. “As human beings, we carry within us an innate spirituality that seeks to he nourished and nurtured,” he says. “Many people at MCC have some sort of church background and were
