Just out., December 05, 1997, Page 21, Image 21

just out ▼ d o csm b o r 5, 1997 ▼ 21
Saved by the wire
Despite some incidents of predation by adults on the Nety
young people are finding some much-needed support there
▼
by Peter Cassels
everal recent incidents have focused
renewed attention on how adults use the
Internet to seduce underage youth who
are logging on in increasing numbers to
get information and meet people.
Such incidents include the discontinuation of
America Online access by a New York City high
school library, the arrest of a 15-year-old New
Jersey youth for the murder of an 11-year-old boy,
and the return home of a 12-year-old Palm
S
OUtll
Springs, California, boy who had traveled cross
country at the invitation of an older man.
The New York high school’s Web master
removed the service because, in his words, “AOL
is a playground without a fence. It’s a field day for
predators.”
The New Jersey youth was allegedly molested
by an older man during repeated visits after they
met in a gay chat room on the Internet several
months ago. The youth’s parents had found out
about the relationship and sought counseling for
him shortly before he allegedly killed a boy solic­
iting door-to-door in his neighborhood.
The boy in California allegedly met the older
man the same way. No charges have been filed
against the man, who sent the youth money for a
cross-country bus trip to meet him.
Nevertheless, the Internet and services such as
AOL have become major sources of assistance for
gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans youth, particularly
those who live in rural areas and conservative
regions. There are dozens of sites for information,
counseling and meeting peers.
While many teens have their own, some use
their family’s and friends’ computers, or those
increasingly available at local libraries and
schools. The trend is expected to continue, as more
families get computers or take advantage of new
technology that allows access to the Internet
through home televisions. An estimated 40 percent
of U.S. households now have computers.
“Some adults use the Internet the same way
they use shopping malls and bookstores to prey on
youth,” according to Chris Kryzan, founder and
executive director of OutProud, a forum for gay,
lesbian and bisexual teens on AOL. The group
publishes an on-line brochure called “How to
Watch Out for Yourself.”
“ I know a few guys preyed upon by older men.
We never advise them to personally meet those
who have contacted them on-line,” he says. “We
tell them to attend a local youth group or PFLAG
meeting instead.”
OutProud, based in San Rafael, Calif., recently
observed its first anniversary. It offers interactive
resources such as chat rooms, message boards, file
libraries and a guide to its QucerAmerica database
of local resources and Internet Web sites.
The forum is operated by a nonprofit organiza­
tion created in 1993 to provide support to and
advocacy for queer youth.
“At the time, most work in this area was in its
infancy, and there was no national focus,” says
Kryzan, a 38-year-old self-described computer
marketeer who sank tens of thousands of dollars of
his own money into the group until it recently
achieved nonprofit status.
“ My goal was to give back to the community
by providing a vehicle to help local organizations
better help these youth.”
While on-line outreach has always been a fun­
damental part of OutProud’s services (it worked
initially with PlanetOut, an AOL forum for all sex­
ual minorities), it took several years for David
Dancker, a teen volunteer from Rochester, Minn.,
Some teens have met others
through on-line contacts, with positive
results. One is Denae Pachucki, 15, of
Ltfmn, Mass., who’s out to her family
and friends and volunteers at a local
teen hot line. “I consider some of
them my good friends,” she says. “I
love talking to other teens like myself
this way. I always feel at home when
I visit chat rooms and other sites.”
who now lives in San Francisco, to develop the
forum.
With a group of about 15 volunteers and a very
small board of directors, OutProud serves several
hundred teens who daily access its database con­
taining information on some 4,000 local support
groups around the nation. Another 150 visit the
forum daily to use its chat rooms and message
boards.
“ I think OutProud has given teens a sense of
community where none existed before,” Kryzan
relates. “While they are terrified to talk to their par­
ents or friends, they find kids like themselves for
affirmation and support.”
He knows firsthand what such help means.
“I’m a foster parent to a teenager from South
Carolina who had attempted suicide when he was
shunned by his fundamentalist Christian parents,”
he explains. “I found out about him through a
social service group in San Jose and took him in.
He’s now a college sophomore.”
Then there was a boy named Billy in
Cincinnati who was reared by his conservative
father and grandmother. “His computer opened a
whole new world,” Kryzan says. “He found a local
support group and used to spend $30 of his hard-
earned money every week for a cab ride each way
from his home in the nearby hills. In just a year he
went from someone who was closeted to a guy
who marched in the local gay pride parade. He
later came out to his father, who threw his arms
around him and said that he loved him.”
Dancker, who works as an assistant editor of
AT, an on-line and print magazine for teens, says
QUEER YOUTH SITES TO GET YOU STARTED
(N ote: a ll o f the fo llo w in g URLs begin w ith http.U www.)
T h e C ool P a g e for Q u e e r T eens is a
non-patronizing effort to educate in a straight­
forward manner: pe.net/-bidstrup/cool.htm
Q u eer A m erica , published by OutProud, is
the largest database for queer youth:
queer.com/queeramerica/
G ay and L esbian P en P a ir is a place for
youth aged 12 to 20 to connect with peers:
chanton2.com/index.html
T h e S a f e T een P r o je c t offers support for
youth in trouble: gayplace.com/project/
AOL, while not necessarily “gay friendly,” is
“very open and unbiased regarding the content we
choose to feature. It doesn’t seem to have an atti­
tude about anything, which is cool.”
The SafeTeen Project is one of several Web
sites devoted to counseling troubled gay, lesbian
and bisexual teens. Operated by Project Outreach
Central Texas, a nonprofit group with more than
2,000 clients in Waco, the heart of the state’s Bible
Belt, the site has been up and running for two
months.
“We get about 2,000 hits a week from teens aii
over the world,” says Thomas Jean, the project’s
technical director. Jean created the first gay-
straight alliance in central Texas at his high school
in Killeen as a freshman in 1993.
“The issues we cover run the gamut from those
who want to do harm to themselves or others to
problems at school, relationships and how to prac­
tice safe sex,” Jean explains. The majority of
clients come from rural areas, where local help
may be rare or nonexistent.
Teens interviewed on-line say the Internet has
opened a whole new world for them.
“I pretty much thought I was the only gay per­
son in upstate New York,” says Brian, 17, who
comes from a conservative Catholic family in
Syracuse, which he contends, “hates me for being
gay”
Then he found out about OutProud. Now Brian
gets a sense of comfort and identity from chatting
with other gay, lesbian and bisexual teenagers
throughout the nation and around the world on his
personal computer.
“AOL was where I first came out, to myself or
to anyone else,” says John Kelly, 19, of Boston.
That was when he was just two weeks short of his
16th birthday.
Some teens have met others through on-line
contacts, with positive results. One is Denae
Pachucki, 15, of Lynn, Mass., w ho’s out to her
family and friends and volunteers at a local teen
hot line. “I consider some of them my good
friends,” she says. “I love talking to other teens
like myself this way. I always feel at home when I
visit chat rooms and other sites.”
Alex, 17, of New Canaan, Conn., a high school
junior, also has met other teens through the
Internet. “I’m out to only my parents and a few
very close friends,” she says.
Alex discovered the teen sites by using Internet
search engines such as Yahoo and finds them use­
ful for social interaction.
Justin Gifford, 17, of North Kingstown, R.I.,
visits OutProud and Internet sites “to talk to other
youths with whom I have things in common and to
be there for those who are confused about their
sexuality, just so they have someone to talk to. I
have made some long-lasting friendships, too.”
Rich, 18, of Somers Point, N.J., is another loyal
OutProud fan. “ I come here because it’s a place
where I feel I can really be myself,” he explains. “ I
can let out my deepest thoughts in the message
boards, or just say anything that I don’t feel com­
fortable saying to my ‘real-life’ friends. It’s a
whole other side of me, one that no one gets to see
unless they know me on-line.”
Before he started visiting OutProud, Rich says
he was “extremely uncomfortable about my sexu­
ality. I felt like I was the only person in the world
like this. Now I know there are many out there just
like me. I’m even at the point where I feel strong
enough to support others. I’ve made lifelong
friends, with deeper bonds than any of my [local]
friends because I feel comfortable talking about
my deep, dark secrets with them.”
Peter Cassels ’ work appears regularly in Bay
Windows, New England’s largest queer weekly.