just out ▼ august 15. 1097 ▼ 21
TO BE OR NOT TO BE ‘ME’
Continued from page 19
unfortunately, clients expect a
certain image when they
visit...and that my earrings
portray a certain stereotype. I
asked what stereotype that was
and got no response. I asked
again what stereotype that
was, and was told, “Whatever
the clients may think.’ I asked,
“What do you think?’ to which
the firm employee replied,
‘Oh, it doesn’t bother me. I
have a friend who’s like that.’ I
then thanked her for her time
and terminated the call.”
In a letter sent to Just Out
and the company, Kelly
writes: “Straight people do not
realize what...[they) are really
saying when they say, ‘Take
out your earrings.’ What they
are indeed saying is, ‘You are
not fit to live in this world as
you are.' Every time they try to
change us to be like them, they
take a piece of our humanity.
They murder, in effect, a part
o f us.”
He adds, “Until people of all
orientations stop playing the
‘passing’ game and start show
ing their employers that quali
fied, capable people come in
an enormous range of differ-
ences, [employers' ] homopho- ^
bia and ignorance will contin
ue to flourish. Customers and clients will still
come, even with a gay male wearing earrings at the
front desk. The public is much more accepting
than employers know.’’
The owner of the company, who is openly gay
and estimates that 30 percent of his staff is gay or
lesbian, tells Just Out he wants to promote a pro-
fessional environment.
“Excessive jewelry on men or women is not
suitable. One or two tasteful earrings, that’s one
thing, but 10?” he says, adding that his immediate
“ Straight people
s
Oi
Heusinkveld
says of her B0L1 digs, where she has worked for
the past eight years. However, during a stint with
the Portland Development Commission, Stevens-
Schwenger says her cubicle was stripped and ster-
ile.
“That’s just the way it was there.” she says,
adding, “It’s easy when you’re at school to be
yourself. Or to be yourself with your peers. But
when you go to work at Intel, you essentially
become Intel.”
Changes in the work environment— and what
do not realize what... [ they] are really
saying when they say, ‘ Take out your earrings. ’
What they are indeed saying is, * You are not fit to live
in this world as you are. ’Every time the\ try to change
us to be like them, they take a piece o f our humanity.
They murder, in effect, a part of us. ”
» „ h iL r k p l l v
tvC D lK i v e i i y
concern was that he felt Kelly was far too qualified
for the position.
He also takes offense with Kelly’s allusion that
the company stifles gay people’s expression.
“That’s just not true,” he says.
Kelly, however, remains unconvinced.
“Some people may say, ‘It’s only eight hours a
day. what’s the big deal?’ But if you do that every
day, it’s going to spill into the rest of your life,” he
says. “Repression builds and kills creativity and
spontaneity, and the ramifications can manifest
themselves in food issues, alcohol abuse, weird
sexual practices.... With or without that job. you
have to live with yourself.”
oan Stevens-Schwenger, spokeswoman for the
Oregon Bureau of Labor and Industries, which
J
investigates claims of possible violations of
civil rights laws, says there are no protections in
place per se involving, for example, employees'
(nonreligious) dress or demeanor.
Stevens-Schwenger says companies may pro-
mote a certain image, and unless they're discrimi-
nating against an employee or prospective employ-
ee on the basis of a protected class, well, tough.
“I have colorful kid’s art all over my office," she
i
for employment elsewhere— which took him to
the interview," but Rutan declined. Gendvilas also
Master Eye Associates, a company providing
says his personal preference for a corporate image
vision-related services.
is “an IBM look.”
Rutan says he called about an advertised posi
As for the expression of his identity. Rutan says,
tion as a doctor's assistant.
“ I do express myself as a queer person through my
He says his first phone interview was quick, but
clothes, my piercings, my hair. Having to compro
went well. “The next day I had an hourlong con
mise for work is hard, but I can’t afford not to.”
versation with |manager Kriss Carpenter|. He
Rutan says he’s worked at Pizza Hut with blue hair
seemed to like the way I answered questions. It
with no problem. He goes to his current job with
went great— he was even talking about benefits,”
Alternative Services Oregon Inc. with piercings
says Rutan, adding that Carpenter requested that
intact— as do other employees. Again, it’s no big
Rutan come in to Master Eye A ssociates’
deal.
Clackamas Town Center office for a meeting. “I
He says, “I'm glad I didn't get the job with
asked about the dress code.
Nothing was ever mentioned “/ understand why a business may not want some
about jewelry," he says.
one to be wearing a nose ring or whatever during
An appointment was arranged.
work. This is a nonpermanent fixture on my face
Though he usually wears ear
rings, finger rings and a nose ring. that could easily have been removed. But he didn't
Rutan plucked them all off, even ask. He just jumped all over me. ”
slipped on a pair of slacks and but
ton-down collared shirt, and head
Joshua Rutan
ed out.
"I was very nicely groomed," he says.
Master Eye Associates, because I wouldn't want to
However, Rutan forgot to remove his labret. a
work for a place that treats people that way simply
piercing just below his lower lip.
because of a piece of jewelry.”
“I got there and was ushered into an examination
Though he was hurt and taken aback by the
room. I thought. “Oh maybe this is more private.'
episode. Rutan says, “ I think I’m stronger for it....
Well I turn around, and of course I'm all smiles,
You can’t let it get you down. Think positive, let
and then I see [Carpenter] glaring at me.” Rutan
them know that they wronged you, but don’t let it
recounts. “All of a sudden he says, ‘This is over
destroy you.”
now. I’m not going to put up with that facial-pierc
ing crap.’ He just cut me off as a person. I was
ound advice, says Dr. Heather Stein, a psy
stunned.”
chologist resident at the Portland-based
Rutan left, but was so angry that he later called
Delaunay Family of Services, which pro
Carpenter's supervisor, telling him he wanted
vides counseling services to youth and families.
Carpenter to apologize.
Stein, 30, thought long and hard about her nose
“I understand why a business may not want
ring, sometimes purple-hued hair and ankle tattoos
someone to be wearing a nose ring or whatever
upon interviewing for a position at Delaunay sev
during work. This is a nonpermanent fixture on my
eral months back.
face that could easily have been removed. But he
She decided to leave it all in place, despite her
didn't even ask. He just jumped all over me.” says
feelings that Delaunay might be a somewhat
Rutan. adding that Carpenter called him back only
reserved employment environment.
to “apologize for my perception of how things
She describes the person who interviewed her as
went down— not for what he actually did.”
a “pretty conservative Christian man,” who did
Carpenter refused any comment for this article,
ultimately wind up mentioning “the thing in [her]
saying he could not address a “situation involving
nose.” Stein, who had counseled clients for many
an individual and the company.”
years, countered by saying she didn’t believe her
His supervisor. Dr. Tony Gendvilas, however,
piercing would be a problem.
tells Just Out that following the incident Master
Indeed, Stein argues that her ability to express
Eye Associates invited Rutan back to “complete
and represent herself freely and honestly makes
her relationship with clients
"that much richer.”
She was hired— the man who
interviewed her is now her
boss— and carries a current
caseload of about 35 clients,
including children and both
younger and older adults.
“In my work, it’s real impor
tant to be genuine. Clients pick
up on masks," she says, adding.
“Sometimes kids may say,
‘You’re weird,' and that will
generate a discussion about dif
ferences. It’s been a wonderful
tool.”
Stein, who has been at
Delaunay for nearly seven
months, suspects that had the
agency not been comfortable
with her more tangible forms of
self-expression, e.g. jewelry,
that it probably would not have
been tolerant of her sexual ori
entation. either.
She is an out bisexual.
Stein says, “I knew if a place
wouldn’t accept me as I am, it
would not be a healthy environ
ment for me or my clients.”
Despite the risks—economi
cally and emotionally— Stein
decided it was worth it to be
true to herself.
“I understand how hard it can
be to stick with it,” she tells Just
Out , “but if you do, it can be a
powerful experience that takes
you to a place of strength.”
Heather Stein
aM owed^win come, she
adds, as cultural mores
evolve.
Look at how. ,ar
workplace during the
past 20 years. Or look at
domestic partnerships
for same-sex couples,”
she says. “You even see
many more people in the workplace with pierc-
ings and tattoos than you did just five years ago.
A lot depends on where you are and where
you're working, but conventions are shifting a
little.”
At the same time, being asked to suppress
oneself can be trying, says Dr. Linda Grounds,
a psychologist who is also the owner of Vita
Gallery, an art gallery in Northwest Portland
which often features work by outsider and self-
taught artists.
“If someone with a piercing or tattoo feels it
is a genuine symbol of their identity as a person,
then to be asked to remove it can be disconcert
ing. alienating and create a sense of depriva-
tion,” Grounds says, adding that whatever the
issue, when an employer treats an employee or
prospective employee in a disrespectful manner,
it can be traumatic,
uch was the case with Joshua Rutan, 20,
who has worked for the past two years at
a residential-care facility serving develop-
mentally disabled adults,
Though he enjoys his work, Rutan says he
was beginning to bum out. and decided to look
[)r