j u s t o u t ▼ a u g u s t 1, 1 9 9 7 V 3 3
STONEWALL BABY
Q ueer citizenship
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by Will O ’Bryan
M
uch earlier in the century, this
straight people probably resent that overreaction.
country threw open the gates for They may not understand the photo, but they might
millions of immigrants from for
be willing to talk about it. And if they can’t talk
eign shores. In an effort to please
about it with us, who can they talk about it with?
their new neighbors, many of the
We’ve had to think about sex all our lives. We
immigrants “Americanized” themselves.
Some
know it
pretty well. We can explain things that
changed their exotic-sounding names to some
Heteromericans won’t ever understand if we won’t
thing a little more Main Street. Some threw off
talk about them. “Cock rings? What on earth for?
their native costume in exchange for denim.
Dental dams? What are you talking about? Top?
It’s as though they felt the Great American
Bottom? You’re confusing me!” If the leaders
Melting Pot could absorb them if they were a little
don’t lead...
less spicy, which is unfortunate. So many great
Our Pride festivals have been pretty insular
cultures that could’ve been incorporated into our
events, growing out of what probably looked like
society were watered down for the sake of homo
freak shows to breeding folks (artificially insemi
geneity. Perhaps there’s a lesson for us queer
nated lesbians aside). U.S. Cinco de Mayo festi
immigrants to heed.
vals aren’t reserved for Latino/a Americans,
Our journey to America’s Heartland didn’t
though. And how many of us look upon St.
require us to cross oceans, just closets—but clos
Patrick’s Day as the one day of the year when
ets can be as treacherous as the deepest oceans.
everybody gets to be Irish (and puke green beer)?
The immigrants had family recipes from the Old
It certainly would do our fellow citizens well to
World and accents they
try to be gay for a day.
tried to hide; we’ve brought
I’m not suggesting
some flair and some good
there’s any hope that my
m usic. But have we
mother will show up for a
“Americanized” ourselves
potluck lesbian dungeon
as well?
party, but we don’t have to
We’re starting to ven
go to extremes. This coun
ture out of our gay ghettos
try is developed enough
into the suburbs, with our
that it should be throwing
Subarus and rainbow flags.
off its sexually repressed
Our neighbors look at us
shackles—and we’re just
and see nothing out of the
the Americans to lead the
ordinary. We don’t feel
way. But this leadership
threatened and neither do
role is one we are uncom
they. But at what cost?
fortable with, to say the
Americans of yester
least.
year co u ld ’ve learned
Presently, in our dis
much more from the cul
course with straight people
tural influx than they did. Some cultures could’ve
we talk about our sexuality as though it were the
taught the individualistic American psyche that a
least defining aspect of our culture instead of what
strong sense of community obligation isn’t neces
it is: the foremost. We learned throughout our
sarily bad. Some cultures could’ve taught their
lives how to blend in, how to allay suspicions,
stiff-collared compatriots to let their hair down a
how to move quietly. But at this point there’s no
bit. The religious influx could’ve added more to
turning back. We’re here, we’re queer, we’re
our national spirituality than it did.
moving in next door, and everybody knows it.
And what can we queers bring to the table
We’ve always wanted to be treated equally.
before we get sucked into the pot?
It’s what we’ve been fighting for all along. But we
Throughout most of our history, we’ve been
don’t have to sanitize ourselves. The melting pot
deviants. Sexual deviants. Granted, we weren’t
will taste better if all the fruits and vegetables
deviant by nature, only by law. But in this great,
aren’t first dipped in bleach.
God-fearing land of ours, maybe there’s some
Our sexual sensibilities are provocative by
thing of our sexual insight that would help add
national standards. It’s been so long since this
some spice to this very vanilla, oh-so-very sexu country saw a sexual revolution, and we have the
ally repressed culture of ours.
resources to ignite one the likes of which they’ve
Heterosexuals themselves are having a seem
never seen. Multiple partners. Multiple partners
ingly difficult time of it. They apparently enjoy sex
at once. Remaining on wonderful terms with past
as much as we do, but they don’t like to talk about
lovers. Frank talk about sex. Collectively, we’ve
it. Sometimes they divorce. Sometimes they cheat.
seen and done it all, though we’re remarkably
And it all looks very messy and mean-spirited. If quiet about it in mixed company. As we become
we can add some insight, help them in some way,
increasingly mainstream, we’re beginning to act
shouldn’t we? As queers—lesbians, gay men, bi
hush hush even among ourselves.
sexuals, transgenders—we’re certainly not perfect
It’s hard for us to remember that we’ve done
or omniscient where sex is concerned, but our
nothing wrong, that our national values regarding
wealth of knowledge on the topic is fantastically
sex were handed down from the Puritans. Of
rich nonetheless. And we’re probably advanced to
course, there’s plenty of sex in America, but how
the point where I can talk to a straight peer candidly
much of it is healthy? Not to say that we re all
about sex without getting my ass kicked.
qualified to be therapists, but we can talk from
As we take our first steps in their mainstream
experience.
world, maybe we’re becoming good citizens who,
Maybe my mother won’t end up in the dun
following the mainstream lead, don’t like to talk
geon. In her retirement community in Florida,
about sex either. But we shouldn’t turn our backs
nobody has a basement anyway. But if some
on our roots. And if we are still talking about sex,
retired lesbian moves in next door to her, I hope
we don’t seem to want to dish the dirt with our
she’ll speak frankly with Mom about sex. If not,
straight neighbors.
I can always take my mother to It’s My Pleasure
Jesse Helms sees a photo of a man with a bull
the next time she’s in town. As a good queer
whip up his keister, and he goes ballistic. A lot of
citizen, I think I’m duty bound, actually.
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