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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (July 21, 1995)
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( ME 9 7 2 0 4 PARKING AVAILABLE SO R EL VINTAGES LIM IT E D Mon.-Sat 10:30-6:00 Sunday 11:00-4:00 3713 SE HAWTHORNE BLVD. 232-8482 antiques» vintage furniture • clothing • art • jewelry • collectables • china • household misc "We buy estates" r u sa d e ▼ B er n a d ette B reu A P a r e n t ’ s C Robert Bernstein sends a message to parents of gay men and lesbians that mere acceptance is not enough M illion D ollar Producer (5 0 3 ) 2 5 5 -4 9 0 0 (3 6 0 ) 6 9 4 -3 1 1 7 ne bought & sold t iii : acoustic RETRO SPECTIVE TO UR SNOWMAN EVENT Richard Shumate is wife, Myma, doesn’t care for the analogy, but Robert Bernstein plows ahead anyway. Some parents, he says, view their child’s homosexu ality like they would view a case of hemorrhoids. A little uncomfortable. Not life threatening. But certainly not something to discuss with the neighbors or the folks at church. And those are the very parents Bernstein H 00 h right organizations. “I tried to find a variety of people and a variety of stories,” he says. “I found these individual stories dramatic and inspiring.” Bernstein’s book is introduced by Robert MacNeil of the Public Broadcasting Systems’ MacNeil/Lehrer NewsHour. MacNeil is one of a number of celebrities whose stories are chronicled in the book. Others include Republican presiden tial candidate Barry Goldwater; Broadway pro ducer Joe Papp; U.S. Rep. Lynn Woolsey of California; Robert Mosbacher, a Cabinet mem ber in the Bush administration; and former Port land Police Chief Tom Potter. “I have a gay son, and that’s all right with me,” MacNeil writes. “What is important is my son the person— his character, his generosity, his talents. His sex life is of no more importance to me than that of his heterosexual brothers and sisters, or of my close friends.” hopes to reach with his new book Straight Par ents, Gay Children. Other books have been writ ten to help parents cope and learn to accept. His book is aimed at getting them to act. “Unless and until we stand up and speak out, growing up gay is going to remain an extremely difficult proposition,” says Bernstein. “I think it is up to us parents to make it clear that that is not acceptable.” Bernstein is a retired tax attorney from Maryland who spent many years working for the U.S. Justice Department. When his daughter, Bobbi, came out to him in 1987, he says it wasn’t a shock be cause he already suspected she might be a lesbian. But he went to a P-FLAG meeting to support his ex-wife, Bobbi’s mother, who was having a more difficult time accepting her daughter’s sexual iden tity. In P-FLAG, Bernstein found a home and a cause, and his book is, in large part, the story of how P-FLAG and its members have spoken out and stood up for gay men and lesbians in their families. “ Bobbi’s coming out has, in a way, created a whole new life for us,” says Bernstein. “We found something that really invigorates us and makes us feel like we’re do ing some good. We’ve met so Introduction by Robert MacNeil many marvelous people. It erf the MacNeil Lehrer NewsHour has done so much to raise our consciousness.” “I’ve often told Bobbi that if she ever decides she made Straight Parents, Gay Children uses a a mistake when she came out, don't tell us.” series of personal anecdotes from parents Straight Parents, Gay Children uses a series of per who have come, in Bernstein \s words, sonal anecdotes from parents “not just to accept but to celebrate who have come, in Bern stein's words, “not just to their gay children. ” accept but to celebrate their gay children.” During book signings, Bernstein says he is Among those parents chronicled are Jim and often approached by gay and lesbian youth who Elise Self of Grants Pass, Ore., who led the fight tell him they are buying the book in order to send in their community against Oregon’s anti-gay- it to their parents. That’s music to his ears. rights initiatives, going public on the front page “I would like to reach the millions and mil of their small-town newspaper with the revela lions of parents who are. well, OK about it but tion that their daughter, Jennifer, is a lesbian. kind of reticent,” he says. “If all the family and Bernstein also tells the story of Bonnie and friends of gay people spoke out about the gay Buzz Frum, evangelical Christians in Colorado people in their families and among their friends, who have a gay son. They campaigned against society’s homophobia would be on its way out.” Amendment 2 and headed up a P-FLAG chapter in Colorado Springs, home to dozens of religious Keeping Fa mi lies Together Robert A. Bernstein NANCI GRIFFITH SATAUG 12 ROSE GARDEN AMPHITHEATRE 6:00 PM • ALL AGES \ l > \ A N C K T I C K K f S \ T M .l. C l J O E 'S /T IC K l l M .N S T K K LO C A T IO N S . S U I 1 J E U T T O S E R V IC E C H A N C E . C H A N C E H V P IIO N K 224 - 440 » . Pro Lab N.W. 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