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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (April 7, 1995)
3 0 ▼ a p rii 7. 1 0 0 3 ▼ ju s t o u t IT’S A QUEER THING T ravel th e w o rld , but c a ll us first... My eternal crush SOIJTHMINSTER PRESBYTERIAN CHIJRCH Corner Denny Rd. & Hall Blvd By putting Greg Louganis on a pedestal we stripped him of his humanity A Challenging, Supportive Community • P alm S unday , N ailing of T he C ross Sunday, April 9, 9:30 & 11:00am M aundy T hursday April 13, 8:00pm E aster E gg H unt & P otluck L unch Saturday, April 15, 11:30am G lorious E aster C elebration 9 30am Worship, Flowering of The Cross 11:00am Chancel Choir presents: Hallelujah Chorus from The Soulful Messiah by Howard N. Dana C O M P A N Y 232-5944 1 - 800 - 232-5944 1939 SE Hawthorne Blvd, Portland B eg in in g A p ril 10th. E very M onday N ight at th e BRIG DANCERS Doors open @ 8:30 Close 2:30 1035 SW Stark S t Portland (503) 226-4171 Must be 21 still great satisfaction when he went public. n the fall of 1988, a group of U.S. students By this time I was way out of the closet, myself. gathered in our dorm TV lounge each after As a queer activist and HIV educator I had in many noon to watch highlights of the Olympic ways “passed Greg up.” I had grown a bit tired of Games. I was there to see Greg Louganis waiting and wishing he would be gay. Rather than dive. We were all living in Seoul, South seeing him as an older brother and mentor, I felt Korea—where the games were taking place— that Greg had not been living up to his potential. I studying at Yonsei University. Living in the city felt that by coming out Greg could lift an incredible was advantageous, and I was able to get tickets to burden which I had lifted years earlier. How short numerous Olympic events, but not diving. The sighted I was to think that this would completely Koreans love diving and all these events sold out free him. quickly—right after ping-pong and gymnastics. I My eternal crush on Greg Louganis went had to be content with watching Greg on TV. through yet another change when I learned he had I can’t quite remember when I first began AIDS in his disclosure to Barbara Walters on following the career of Greg Louganis. Having February 2 2 .1 was saddened and dismayed. Little never been particularly interested in junior and could 1 or anyone have known the additional stress senior high school sports, it seemed strange that I Greg must have been under being a professional would take a liking to an athlete. Sure, athletes athlete and living with HIV. For the first time I got were sexy, but they were also some of the boys who a glimpse of just how hurt and abused my “Prince would beat me up. There was something different about Greg, though. Being seven years older than Charming” was. me, Greg Louganis was building his diving career It’s not that I ever thought about Greg Louganis’ at the same time I was thinking about my own HIV status— I neither imagined him to be HIV aspirations. I was attracted to him long before I was positive or HIV negative. However, the shock and willing to admit my own homosexuality. For me, sadness I felt upon learning that he had been there were three “really great guys” I admired— struggling with the disease for years was more Greg Brady, Shawn Cassidy and Greg Louganis. about my own callousness than about any change in Greg. He was my hero, and I didn’t want As a teenager, I could imagine nothing more bliss ful than hanging out with these three. anything bad to happen to a hero of mine. My crush on this world-class diver has been something which An extensive Life magazine interview, com has deepened and become better-informed over plete with the sexiest photos I had ever seen, fueled time. Each time Greg stepped up to a diving block my love for Greg Louganis. I recall poring over the pages, much in the same or a microphone, way one would with a like opening an on love letter. Now I had ion, I could see an some real information other deeper layer. about a love who, until By coming out as then, had been distant. having AIDS, Greg This interview gave me Louganis was not the first clue that Greg changing, my was gay. I recall the ar knowledge of his life ticle talking about how was. Greg lived with his Greg Louganis trainer. This comment had been living with was supported by a photo HIV for years, and of the two of them to he was now disclos- gether—the picture of a ing to the world perfect couple. Of something that is of course, we all realize „ ., ,. R fc r the now that this man Greg and Lou^ ms v R and private lived with was his lover and that he was very Until now, Greg’s had been a well-guarded life. abusive. But at the time, for a Montana farm boy, Never one to publicize personal matters, the abuse, this was the first glimpse I had ever had of a life low self-esteem, suicidal tendencies, and fear in where two attractive men could live together and his life were never hinted at. Publicly, for Greg, possibly be in love with each other. diving was all there was and, in part, his adoring From then on, any mention of Greg Louganis fans are to blame for this. We imagined that all would make my ears prick up. I had a full-fledged Greg did or wanted to do was dive. By putting him crush on him. For the rest of high school and until on a pedestal, we stripped him of a chance to be I was at the 1988 Olympics, I kept a torch lit for human. We don’t want to see the vulnerable or Greg. Watching him on that dorm television and weak side of people we admire, especially sports cheering for him, I was cheering for myself as well. figures. We collaborated with Greg’s own low I was really struggling with my sexual orientation self-esteem in telling him the only thing he was that semester of college, and it may have been good for was diving. Greg’s diving that convinced me to take the plunge What I am left with in response to Greg myself. Greg Louganis left Seoul a gold medal Louganis’ honesty is a sense of wonder. For the winner; 1 left Seoul with the determination to come first time—possibly in his life—Greg is able to live out to my parents and live my life as a gay man. with a clean slate. He may be healthier now than Until that fateful dive in Barcelona’s 1992 ever before. Through Greg’s example, I wonder at Olympics—when Greg hit his head on the diving the power society has over our actions. We are board— 1 didn’t really give his mortality much susceptible to those we love, even if they are thought. For me, Greg Louganis was like a god. abusive to us. We are susceptible to our teachers His recovery and gold medal finish only increased and trainers and mentors. And we are susceptible his stature. I was sure that if anyone had the world to the cheers of the crowd. Greg Louganis is just a by the tail it was Greg. I only yearned that he could man. Aside from having a talent for diving, he is as take the big step and come out. After the ’92 ordinary as anyone. He has made mistakes and has Olympics the pressure was off, and I was delighted bravely admitted them. Because I admire him, I, that Greg did come out publicly. He had been seen too, am changed by Greg’s admonitions. I still with his new boyfriend on the street in San Fran have an enormous crush on this beautiful man, and cisco and Los Angeles often enough, but there was I only hope that he can live in peace. I
