A love-letter to life
“Some age that seemed so far away ... »
forever hated being single, I finally turned my
back on a lifelong search for the perfect duet,
determined to make the best of a solo perform
In younger years you play and play,
ance. What a bitch! Too young to take the veil
The future brighter, day by day.
and
too old to play the field! (Man joins
Then, suddenly, you’re gay and gray;
nunnery! Film at eleven!)
Some age that seemed so far away.
It was October, 1967, and I had joined my
You ask: “Was youth as wisely spent
two gay siblings in Seattle—a younger brother
As school tuition, groceries, rent?”
and
my twin, Ron. Suddenly I was invited to a
My joints are stiff, my back is bent.
New Year’s Party by someone I’d never met,
Get-up-and-go, got up and went!
someone who’d heard about the three gay
brothers from mutual friends. Early New Year’s
I’m diabetic (pills, not shots). . .
Eve day, Ron flew to Los Angeles to start life
My hair is growing thin in spots . . .
with his lover, George. My younger brother,
My heart does thrilling dits and dots . . .
then resident manager of Seattle’s Edgewater
But still and all I’ve lots and lots . . .
Inn,
had parties to oversee all over the place. So
To be so very grateful for.
I went to the party with the couple who’d first
I’ve had, for over 20 years,
mentioned my brothers and me.to R.J.
The love and laughter, tears and fears;
As I walked down the stairs in my fringed
The dream that fades and reappears;
buckskin boots and the fringed Pcndleton-style
That wrap itself in mist, then clears.
plaid shirt Ron had made me for Christmas, I
heard someone say “Well guess who’s gonna
At 40, sans companion clone,
be dessert!”. The voice was an ex-lover of
I made my peace: “I’ll live alone”
R.J.’s who, as it turned out, hit the pie right on
But wait! I thought I heard the phone . . .
the a la mode!
Just someone selling pom .. .or pone.
No, we didn’t get together that night. Or for
(My hearing’s going, too, dammit!)
that matter, for several weeks. But, genuinely
impressed that anyone would invite a stranger
But now, at nearly 63,
to anything as intimate as a New Year’s Eve
The things that once eluded me
celebration, I called R.J. the very next day and
Just wait like presents on a tree
then followed it up with a thank-you card. After
Each day for me to wake and see.
that, we talked on the phone nearly every day
R. J. stepped in and changed my life . . .
for
hours at a time, discovering shared interests
Carved hearts on trees with loving knife . . .
in art, theatre, literature and music (he’s a
Erased the black marks in my life!
brilliant painter and writes the most gorgeous
Straight friends: “W ho’s husband and who’s wife!”
poetry).
\
(They never get it right!)
There were dinners out, climaxing with one
at
the
Red Carpet, where Roy had taken me to
Cold weather finds us tightly curled.
say good-bye. He had resigned himself to a
Like cats, against the snowy world.
solitary life in his neat little home in Montlake
While spangles Old Man Winter hurled
and, much as he liked me, didn’t see that I was
Keep summer’s webs all jeweled and pearled.
reason enough to break the comfortable pattern
So . . . not all words are warm or wise.
he’d very happily established for himself. He
And not all blessings “in disguise,”
hadn’t counted on a stubborn Taurus who, once
But there is stardust in my eyes
he’s made up his mind something’s worth
And I’m the luckiest of guys.
fighting for, just digs in for the fight!
He very politely pointed out, first of all,
An now, when all the fires are banked,
what he thought were the physical disadvan
The old Victrola needle’s cranked,
tages. I told him that if I wanted to fall in love
R. J. and I, our forces ranked,
with a fat, bald headed old man that was my
Give thanks and know that w e’ve been thanked!
business! On the 2nd on next February, we will
celebrate 23 of the happiest and most rewarding
s a native Oregonian, I can truly say that of
my 62 years.
it’s a long way from Roseburg to
I feel like the luckiest person alive.
Portland. At least the way I travelled: via New I’ve Really,
lived out almost all of my fantasies. I’ve
York, Venezuela and England. Fresh out of got most
of the childhood garbage in the
Roseburg Senior High, where I was editor of
dumpster. I do the two things I love most for a
the school newspaper, I was, at 18, the first
living. I write and I sing. I’m married to a
foreigner ever to write a column in his own
talented painter who has turned out to be the
language for the oldest daily paper in Vene
perfect person for me to spend these shining
zuela, Maracaibo’s El Panorama.
moments, days and years with. Oh, we’ve had
our sharp comers and scratched egos. You’re
bound to have. It’s how and when (and where)
you put on the bandages that sometimes makes
all the difference. One thing about real love.
You can kiss the bumps and bruises and make
them well.
At 26,1 started my singing career with the
Ken Foeller Orchestra in Fort Worth, Texas,
But enough about me. How about you? This
where I had just replaced a guy named Pat
column is to be an open forum for older gays.
Boone as resident vocalist at WBAP-TV. I’ve
We solicit your contributions: comments, com
had the privilege of singing in Caracas,
plaints, reminiscences, tributes to outstanding
personalities in the gay and gray community,
Venezuela, Folkstone, England, Phoenix, Las
reminders
of laudable achievements by older
Vegas and Los Angeles, where I worked at a
gays, paeans to lovers past and present, trips
leading ad agency, was awarded a two-year
contract with TAG Records and designed a line you’ve taken or would like to take ... what
ever.
of greeting cards for Bonjour Prints using the
All of us at Just Out would like this column
‘Little People” cartoons developed during my
to be a love letter to life. Whatever you decide
stint as an Oregonian copyboy.
to share with us, we sincerely want Just Years
At 30,1 sailed to England on the Holland-
to be yours!
America Line’s flagship New Amsterdam, as
We’re looking forward to hearing from you.
publicist for Tacoma channel swimmer Bert
Please write us at PO Box 15117, Portland, OR
Thomas.
At 40, though I am an incurable nester, who 97215.
has always loved cooking and entertaining and
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"I haven't done a gay character yet, no. Chances are it won't happen. It's
probably too late now. W hen they do cast for it, they tend to cast young. It
might be the ageism in gay culture itself. Like, I'm a viable sex-symbol as a
heterosexual character, but over-the-hill as a gay one.
-Paul Newman talking to the New York Native.
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just oui T 11 y August 1990