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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 1, 1985)
Teen Queen: Rites of passage or sexist scam? by Jim Hunger It all started with a letter from a former student o f mine asking whether I had been the one to nominate her for the “Miss Ameri can Co-Ed’’ competition. Theresa, my high school sophomore friend, guessed that I might have done it I suppose because the contest was publicized as a competition to select from among many the epitome of feminine adolescent development and achievem ent and teachers are supposed to be concerned with this area of consideration. She seem ed very excited about the whole deal. When I told her I wasn’t her anonymous sponsor, I was careful not to include any personal commentary about pageants of this kind. She needed to learn for herself, I felt It would be a growing experience. I promised to attend the event and provide any support I could. A couple months later, Theresa informed me that her father would be unable to attend the event and serve as her escort since it was planting season for spud farmers. She asked me if I would be willing to provide that service. I wrote back that I’d be honored. How could I refuse? After being enthusiastic about her participation, I could hardly decide that it was now beneath my own dignity to get involved. Since the contest required that escorts be members of the family and the Chins are Chinese Americans, I was listed as Theresa’s godfather. The events of the weekend began with a call from Theresa and Mrs. Chin on Thursday afternoon announcing their arrival. We arranged to meet over dinner in the Hilton, where the contest was being staged, to solidify plans. It was the first of a number of meals I was to be their gracious guest at, usually making feeble attempts to return their hospitality, never with any success, but never trying that hard, either. Theresa presented m e with a shirt as an expression of her grati tude for my participation in this major mile stone in her life. I was embarrassed, especially since I knew Theresa's birthday had occurred recently, but I hadn’t acknowl edged it The primary ceremony, in which my services were needed, was to take place on Saturday, but there were also talent and gown competitions on Friday. Also. Mrs. Chin had brought two 35 mm. cameras, and still wanted to buy a zoom lens. Theresa had told her that I was a wonderful photographer, so she asked me if I would help her immortalize the weekend. I agreed, though arranging a time to get the lens was going to be a problem. Just Out, D ecem ber On Friday morning Mrs. Chin and I man aged to acquire the lens, but I had to cut short my student conference hours. That evening, after another meal in the lobby restaurant of the Hilton, Mrs. Chin and I puzzled over the new state of the art camera and zoom lens she expected me to operate with finesse. Then, in a basement ballroom, we watched as Theresa and her fellow combatants pre sented samples of their talent The first part of the competition was speech. All of the girls who couldn't com e up with som e other talent to display competed in this event The speeches only had to be two minutes long, on the rather trite topic, "Am erica’s youth: pride of the present hope for the future,” but some o f the speakers were lost several sentences into their presentation. As an erstwhile speech teacher, I felt a special sympathy for the speaker. Still, they’d known about this competition for over half a year, so the ineptness of the vast majority of them was surprising. Fortunately, Theresa had begun to take piano lessons about a year before, so she was able to perform a fairly decent rendition of the simple but eloquent "Moonlight Sonata.” Only a few of the girls seemed to have attained this level o f proficiency in their chosen area of talent exhibition. Many stumbled through high school dance routines choreographed for full team performances, sometimes to rock songs with themes that clashed with that o f the contest Others whined off-key song lyrics to scratchy, muffled, instrumental tapes. The more I saw, the more curious 1 became about how this pageant was generating money. Competitions of this kind involve titles which are owned and conferred by indi viduals who hope to make a profit from the pageant and the subsequent activities of the title holders. With some discreet digging I learned that sponsors for each girl had to put up $300 for the girl's room and board for the weekend, at least half of which was profit 1 figured. Slick finish booklets were also sold, as well as advertising in the booklets. Only two rather versatile officials appeared to be running the show, so perhaps these sources of revenue were sufficient to make the venture worth while. The Hilton, McDonald’s, and other businesses benefitting from the brouhaha were obviously subsidizing the event in various ways, so expenses were kept at a minimum. And if these sources had becom e apparent with only a few moments reflection, undoubt edly there were other profitable twists and schem es to the operation. After all, these young ladies were the adolescent royalty of our superficially classless but ever-aspiring American society, where any girl can be a princess for a price, and nothing is too good for baby. Besides, this was only the Oregon state competition; the stakes were bound to be higher in the regional and national pageants. I had to beg off after the talent competition, thus missing the ball gown strut I had an eight o ’clock class the next morning, and was worried about the amount of time this ordeal was sucking up. Girls who earlier had com pleted their efforts in the talent event had begun to appear in doorways, rustling clouds o f diaphanous fluff waiting for their turn to float across the stage. The gown promenade is perhaps the most important feature of a beauty pageant It rep resents the ritual enshrinement of femininity in gorgeous fetters, satins and silks that ele vate as they enslave. But I’d been grossed out enough for the night The talent imbroglio had left my senses feeling a bit scorched at the nerve ends, and I wasn t sure I could get through the gown event without letting fly a few cynical remarks. On Saturday I had to attend a rehearsal at four and then dinner with Mrs. Chin and the two family friends from Klamath country who had actually sponsored Theresa in the con test TTiedim acticev^ntoftte take place that night and we had to figure out how to deal with limited reserved seating space and my inability to take pictures while actively participating in the ceremonies. Amid exotic dishes speckled with unfamiliar fungi and pigeon eggs, we plotted quick switches and seating plans. Theresa showed admirable aplomb that night She seemed not to take the phony glam or and publicity hype too seriously, and was prepared for the likelihood that she wouldn't be the winner. Everyone was piously intoning about the experience she was get ting from being involved in the pageant the qualities she was demonstrating or develop ing from her participation. I echoed these enthusiastic sentiments and clicked pictures like a cub reporter on first assignm ent I even froze a gleaming, ivoried grin on my face as I escorted my little princess across the stage and the em cee announced her favorite living American, that glitzy queen o f queens and anti-Christ of education and progressive thinking, Ronald Reagan. Following a final confused, assembly-line photography session, the pageant was over. Theresa wasn’t even in the final 25, but she HiHn’t ^npear surprised by this. With her un- revealing, long-sleeved gown and somewhat reserved demeanor, she didn’t present much o f a threat to the sleeker, more serious co m petitors. While her adult entourage milled around her blathering about the valuable ex perience she was involved in and what an admirable young lady she was showing her self to be, Theresa was diplomatic and se dately cheerful. Was it a worthwhile experience? She did get up in front of a large group of strange people and perform adequately. She got a chance to step outside of her isolated, rural Klamath County existence and eat and sleep and dance around and get silly with girls from all over the state. She was presented with the opportunity to critically evaluate her own personal development with that of other girls from a diversity of environments. Were Theresa’s perodic sidelong glances due to embarrassment an awakening of feminist sensitivity to her compromising situ ation? Or were they merely shyness, adoles cent awkwardness? As her friend and former teacher, I am ever the optimist But consider ing her selection of her favorite American, I can’t help but wonder. co*op*er*a*tive/ la : it’s an adjective b: it’s a noun 2: it’s som ething special fo r 60,000,000 hat something special T means 40,000 member- people from owned cooperatives through out the United States devoted to serving their members and coast to coast communities in every way imag inable. For example, there are coop eratives for electric and tele phone service, housing, food, furniture, insurance, farm mar keting and farm supply, credit unions and farm credit, health and day care. The cooperative way of con ducting business has proven over and over again to be both a highly efficient and extremely economical way to provide ser vices and goods. That’s why co ops come in every size and kind and are found in the city, the suburbs and rural America. 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