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About The west shore. (Portland, Or.) 1875-1891 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 31, 1891)
PHILISTINE DRONE'S WOOING.
I beg to lay before my readers a hartrending eppysode of the balcion
daii of ml yoothful innotence. When I was a blushing bnoy of sum 28
summers, and at that age pekuliarly centsitive to the arrera of Kupid. Ye
gods ! my ink turns pail when I think of the object of mi jewvernile aflijck
ehani. Do not ihndder when I tell yon that I fell in love with a seckand
hand artikle, a femail dressed in black, the hablllyments of the graiv; in
short, a widdoe.
The idal of mi hart was ritch, but do not suppose for a singul moment
that I asBosheated mi dreema of bliss with lav of filthy Inker; not wonce!
Mi angnl's noim was Celestia Byte ; and wo is me, I went for Byte and kom
back bitten. Wun nite, while lisnicg to her sole soreing etranea upon a
cheap okkordeon, I was about to pore mi tail of luv into her ear, when she
" Pbilly " (the alwaie kalled me Phllly), " Philly deer, wilst thoa pur
chis me Bum music T "
" Lite of ml bart," said I, " thy behests shall be obeyed."
" Kail me pet naims," said the tender-harted saryflm, and immegeately
swooned with delite.
That nite, as I took my departure from the butiful Clestia's, I Bed to
miielf: " Undontedly she luve me. 0, heavenly thort I Ken I be awaik?"
Which was not very likely, seein's I had ml poket piked bi an audashua
feller who hod taiken advantage of mi abetrackshun. When neckst I
addressed Celestia 'twas with a luv letter, which I indited after grate efforts,
with the aid of mi atoopenduB jenius and an old song book. The missive
red as folloes, to wit:
Dearest Celeetia : f art iron of the Golden Locks, ever of the I'm fondly dream
ing, Thr brite smile hannta me still. Adorable wan, thou art the only woman 1 tw
la od. Beloved Girl, thoa art ao nan and ret ao far. Book ma to eleep Beantifol dreamer.
I'd offer the thia hand of mjrne. Wilt thoa axaept ? from four true lnv,
This I seeled and sent to mi hart's affinity, and reseaved the following
Deer P. D.i-Sportife bo;, everything ia eelubriua. 0, kno, ksm I Am I or am I
not? Eiknee mi iokoherenoj. The thought will drive me mad. Celeetia.
Upon reeding of which I immegiately fainted and swooned in ml own
footsteps. Twos evening when I agen started forth to visit the dommysll
of the salnbrius widdoe, and the stars seemed to shine in mello lite upon
mi kareworn Hnnymenta as if they new that I was soon to jlne mi fait with
wun who was too angelic for a lengthened residence upon this sinful aerfe ;
and while mi hart beet with overpowering emoshuna, I asked mlself in
murmuring oxents if I was wurthy of this earthly cherrybim, and arriving
at her dore at the instant I asked the question, I was ushered In before I
bad tjme to anser it. When I stood in the presents of the bappl gurl, abe
" Philly, deer, do I wunce agen behold thy franc and open kounte
nunce?" " 0, Celestia, prey do not gays upon me in that refulgent stile do not;
ml hart will bust! " Bed I. "And now tell me when thoa wilt be ml
bryde." And I nealed before her, mutch to the damage of ml best pants.
" Tby bryde I " Bed Celestia, Bkornfully.
" Ay, ewete wun," Bed I, throeing ml arms around her lovingly.
" When shall we be married?"
But Imagine ml sirprlzs when Celestia hit me akroet tlie head with a
fire shuvel, and then asked me what I ment
Mas. FiNOLi Henry, I've written to ask mother to
come and visit us. You don't mind, do yon T
Mr. Fanqi N-n-no; bat isn't It rather too much of
good thing? Yon know ahe waa here for on entire day
only a year ago last June.
A RAY OF SUNLIGHT.
Poor Lima Boy (shivering) I'm c-e-c-old.
Bensvolrkt Looking iNmvini'ii Well, my dear little fellow,
be bo while )ou may. Remember there la a hereafter.
" Didn't yoa promise to marrl me? " sed I.
" Marri yoa 1 " she aed. " Do you suppose that the onshent family of
Byte wood dlsgraia there naira bi allllyatlng with a Phillstln? "
" But," sed I, " didn't I rite you a letter offuring mi hand, and didn't
yoa rite a letter excepting it? "
She bust out lafiln' and led : " Yoa big fool I I thought It was a Hat
of the music yoa waa gonig to send me," and she swept from the room die
danefully. I left her Ill-fated threshold, never to kross It more.
A BACK VIEW.
Within the train a seat I took,
Prepared to read
A novel or some cheaper book,
The mind to feed,
When Just by chance my eyes
And lo, behold I
At what a ahapely bead I
Of classic mold-
tier neck my artist soul did win
Upon the spot,
And all my heart was caught within
Her Psyche knot.
I had no doubt her face was sweet
And most refined.
(How lad that I should have a seat
The maid behind!)
And as I dreamed of feat
And bright blae eyes,
Of lips that make a bard
To Doetlie. -f A
She turned around-how quickly flown
Ab, would that she had only ahown
Her back to me I
Nathan M. Lrvy.
REALIZED IIIS LOSS TOO LATE.
HxNi'it'i Poor Brown's death was a terrible calamity to me.
Smith Why, I didn't know he was near friend or relatlon'of yours.
HiNi'gca No, he wasn't; but I married his widow.