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About The west shore. (Portland, Or.) 1875-1891 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 16, 1890)
WEST SHORE. time." " Well, that astonishes me ! I never set you down as a busy man." " Oh, you are so confoundedly literal. I mean if I could afford it. ' Time la money,' you know." A MATTER OF I'UNCTUATION. " Say, Jack, you are a man of large and varied experience; can you tell me how often a fellow ought to kiss a young lady when he makes a call on her?" " Oh, no ; there is no hard and fast rule for such occasions. Per hH at every pause in the conver sation would lie often enough," " II that's the case a fellow who stammers would be kept very busy." UNPARDONABLE OFFENCE. Mkh. (i a..am I'll never speuk to Mrs. Jaysmith again. Ho there I Gaz.am-What's up? Mkh. Ga.am She offered me a seat In the street car, the imper tinent tiling! Uakam-I should think that m kind of her. Mkh. Gaxxam Would you! She said, "Take my seat, please; I am younger than you." Oh, I could eat her!" MAIDEN INNOCENCE. Kthkl (gushingly) Oh, Maliel, brother Will had a perfectly splendid dream alwut you last night. Mahsl (enthusiastically) Oh, did be? Was it before midnight or after? . Ernst, (scornfully) Pooh! If you had a brother you wouldn't ask such a foolish question. Will hasn't been to bed before midnight for three years. FRANKLY STATED. Biikriiwii.i. Sir, I am temporarily but seriously embarrassed, and I venture to apply to you for a loan of (Ji.00 till next Monday. Wmrnm.Y But why don't you apply lo some of your friends? I don't know you. ltiiKKoM m.i That, air, is the very reason why I came to you for a loan. UNCONSIDERED TRIFLES. Man, Gaman Here's a piece In the newspaper about four babies at a birth. Gauiaii What is the mother's name? Mas. Gaoam Wragg. Gaman Oh, rag babies don't count. THE SAME OLD STALE AIR. (li bbt at Sunmkk llttTKL 1 espst-ted to find fresh air at this country place, but I was diapoinUKl, FkiknuHow was that? Gvkkt Why, as I got to the hotel the band wu playing "Annie Rooney," SHE LIKED MY NAME. She liked my name, She said upon her cheeks a blush. She liked my name, As signature quite fit for fame. Bhe meant her hint my heart to crush, But I just then of hearts was flush. She liked my name. Lei Fairciiild. AN EUPHEMISM. " Where are you going this summer? " " I would go to Europe if I could get the A FORCED LOAN. Slinky (encountering two suspicious looking wayfarers) Now, then, what do you fellows want? You won't get a cent from me. Uuly Ra8 Excuse me, boss, but we ain't no ubb fer a cent. We would like about tf.OU apiece. THE QUESTION. -The way of the transgressor is hard," remarked Mrs. Gasher, .j-.hrin-to - added Gasher. "So what is a poor pedestrian to do? " A SONG OF THE EARTH. Ci-sisc-There is something poetical about real estate. FANGU-Whatdoyoumean? Craso-I was just thinking about " the lay of the land. VEKY COMPREHENSIVE. Mrs. McCracklk What a broad smile Mr. Jaysmith has! McChacklb Yes. When he has been smiling unusually industriously I have seen him try to cover the entire sidewalk. Then the married ones smiled own hearts. NOT UNLESS ENDORSED. Mm. Junks (after explaining the plans ol the W. C. T. U. to city edi tor) Now we want you to help us and make a note of this City E.htos (abstractedly)-My note wouldn't help you any WHEN SHE DECLINED HIM. Dolley I heah that Miss Amy has gone into ah decline. Goblin That's not new. She went into one a yeah ago, to man own knowledge. PERHAPS IT 13. Fakole If you have a few thou sands to invest I think you will find the Endless Canal Company stock a good investment. CuMsoI'm alraid it's watered. A GRACEFUL COMPLIMENT. Mrb. Robinson How do you think this dress suits me? Mrs. Tangle First rate. You look charming in it. Why, I hardly knew you. x MISINTERPRETED, " I have never flirted a bit in my life," declared a prelty, young lady one evening at a party. " I have never so much as allowed a single man to make love to me." and thought she was a girl after their