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About The west shore. (Portland, Or.) 1875-1891 | View Entire Issue (July 1, 1889)
THE WEST SHORE. BBT8Y TIBDIT8' CHEMICALIZATION. BETBY TIUIilTH bad gained a partial victory over l.-th. She could never be Uken unawares by that conqueror. Few and unimportant were the dis eaws she bad not experienced in tome form or other, and lhe bad they been worth eonnting, Betsy would have ba.L Heart disease, she felt convinced, would carry uer on moat any uay. one weui ww umuk ..... m l I bi-entiially, and was, by way or always naving on band a disagreeable chronio ailment, a nervo-billious-dyie)ticL When it waa not heart or lunga ahe could aJwtya full back on her liver, which, with remarkable elasticity, waa iuflaincd, oongeated or torpid, aa the mm might rMjairru All the while II. 0. Tibbiti was aa fresh and lean and round aa a winter apple. llotla libbiU, through love for hia wife, bore, bravely ami aNechliwly, huge billa for drugs, paid one hundred and fifty dollars for a complete magnctio suit, which increased Betsy's proportioni to inch an eiteut that ah looked like the ftt woman of tome re speeUblo lido ahow retired from active life. With the herb doctor of humble achool ahe had begun, and thut far N manage " wu her craze. She had worn out the " Mitogenetic" system of thing, now would aha atop here? Vet, unleaa propitious heaven invent and iHvlily send aome newer and better alleged cure. " Law! but Betsy don't aeem satisfied, nohow, 'leas she's a doctoriu' oua way or t'other. I'm about be ginnin' to think ahe'll hev to put up with the old alio lth after all" soliloquised Hoiia Tibbeti, aa, pitch fork in hand, he wandered home to tea. M Betsy," ha chuckled to himaelf, " hev been an common idle lately, leastaways rr gardin' 'er precious health. Hhe'a a bidin' her time, though, an' '11 break out with a new iinw, sooner or later, unheard of af.ve," By this time he had reached the house, and aat down upon the front stoop to cool off and to wait for the aupjor 111 to ring. " Well, Bet am mighty long aUmt haudtu' out them vittles; maybe she's rlly Uk in a fit thia time, an' ef ahe dou't get well or die afor long we're a ruined community, an' that'a what I've Uld her time an' time agin." Five, ten, then fifteen minute went by, and atill o sup,r seemed ready or hkely to be. IUiriDK oo anawer to hia rented calls, he strode into the house to inquire Into the cause of loch M nDUIUJj to himself; " Mam ain't been aiiwriu ... what ef ahe hev gune insane an' drownd.nl? - and gulping down . sots he hurried out of the house and ov,, to th. tet neighU'a I, was . trill, embar-ra-ing, Ihb wife hunUng, bQ, he t,re the situation bravely and said "H By .if. Un her, to yoo'uns tonlay, Mis' Whitehw! - " No, Mr. Tibbits, I hain't seen your Betsy for nigh onter three days; hain't even so muoh aa ketched a sight of her. There's been sewin' society down to Sam Purday's; likely enough she's there." " Well," said Hozia, with a sickly attempt at jovi ality, "good evenin'," and straightway down to Sam Purday's went the disconsolate benedict He knocked, the door was opened, and he inquired, rather faintly: "Is Mis' Tibbits here, Sis' Purday ?" " No, she hesn't been here to-day, nor for the last three or four meetin's. Bat won't ye oome in, Broth er Tibbits; Sarah Cramer hes dropped in with her triplets, an' she's showin' 'em off now, an' they do say as how she's goin' to call the biggest one arter you." " Law, now, ye don't say 1 Well, the little creetur shell hev the finest silver mug I kin find in Boggt. ville; but I be entirely too oonsarned about mam to stop long, Mis' Purday, an' it's hard to git off from the women folks, we all know." But before he could take his final departure, i dozen female heads, of every color and degree of comeliness, were thrust out over Mrs. Purday's shoul ders, and in twelve different keys of the female "voice divine" Mr. Tibbits heard " Goodness me, Mr. Tibbits, don't yer know where your wife is?" " That's exactly the kind of a fix I'm in this here present moment Mam hain't been home an' got sup per y it, an' here I'm a-rampagin' around this time o' night to find her." Each turned and looked at the other inquiringly, but no face seemed to beam with the desired intelli gence. But each woman was eager to advance some theory that should explain the strange occurrence. One said that "Ole Mother Egolf was bedsick,an' maybe she'd gone to tend her." Still another thought " she'd gone down to see the folks at the milL" But as one after another spoke, Hozia seemed inclined to discredit them all At last, one old woman spoke op ana sua- " As some of the ladies was a-talkin of goin' down to call on them new-fangled doctors as was oome to town." Knowing Betsy's failing as thev all did. a faint titter went around, that Hozia was too busy thinking to notice. u What achool is them doctors? " asked Hozia, " No regular school. Mr. TiUi indonan. J r AawwWf V4U w f- una oi canterin' off. The sign my husband wn hed ' Christian Science ' writ' on it, an' he hearn Mother man say as how they was a perfession to cars every lwt disease under the sun, jest prayin'." " What nonsense," said Hozia, " but I can't go f to think mam is down there. Don't ye bow nothnV particular about them folks' perfessions?"