THE WEST SHORE.
Febi
ruary.
2
WOMEN AS KNOW NOTHINGS.
Mrs F. F. Victor.
I wonder if the woman who grasps her
closed parasol in the middle, and when
he sits down beside us in a car, or else
where, threatens our eyes with the pointed
end, is a mother-in-law? I ask for inform
ation, because it is currently believed that
this class of persons do all the disagreea
ble things that are suffered by luckless
benedicts. The woman who looks dag
gers at another passenger for prcsumingto
sit anywhere near her ruffles and flounces,
is so evidently on the road to be one, that
1 need not inquire about her; nor about
lhat woman who on entering any public
conveyance immediately proceeds to put
into the hands of her children cakes, fruits,
and candies, with which they smear them
selves and their neighbors. It is still less
'necessary to ask concerning the woman
who carries a pet dog about with her, to
to the disgust of every one that happens to
be in her vicinity. These last two things
are diabolical enough for the most Satanic
of mother-in-laws. There are without
doubt many more of these odious practi
ces that never would have come in vogue but
for the fact lhat men's wives have mothers;
and that these mothers insist on taking an
interest in the wives and children of their
sons-in-law.
When I consider what a stupendous fail
ure woman is, in every relation of life, and
especially in that of legal mother to her
daughters husband, I am overwhelmed
with despair, and ready to become an Ad-
ventist, or any other evenl-ist that might
promise to remove the sex bodily out of
the world comfortably too, in decent
robes, and angels' wings. If we stay here
much longer we may have to go to our
cremation, without waiting for the death of
our husbands, as the Hindoo widows do.
We shall only be permitted to wait until
the marriage of our daughters, when, be
ing of no further consequence being, in
lad, the family's closet skeleton our
"funeral baked meats shall furnish forth
the marriage feast" of our sons-in-law, in
onlcr that the threatening ghost of the
mother-in-law may be forever laid, and
daughter's hiisbandsjuay 'live in a state of
security, Happy, in that day, will be the
mother of sons only, for she will be held
sacred; and daughters-in-law will be forced
to allow her to administer catnii-tea, and
look after the disbursement of the house
keeping fund without remonstrance; anil
more than all, she will never lie named by
the infelicitous apjicllalion of mother-in-law,
that belongs only to those unhappy
women who have neglected to strangle
their girl-lnhics in die cradle, and thereby
have incurred, through an unfortunate
chain of circumstances, this fearful blame.
Hut to return to the urasil whatever
does make an awkward woman so pecu
liarly awkward with that dangerous weapon,
an umbrella? 'IV kirasol may be fairly
considered an index to civilisation in the
way it is handled. There are as many
shades of difference in earn ing this ins
table thatch as you may find strata in so
ciety; and it is not the "recent deiosit"
thai nourishes ii in jieople's faces, lly
recent deposit, I mean of course, the "up
per crust ;" and by this you will understand
thai 1 think those who do it arc from the
(villiferous stratas; and I wish they would
take notice not fo worn- dignified gentlc
'men, and petulant journalists, in lhat way
in the fulure. I if course it is because
Ihcy do not know any Wtler; but it is
quite lime they did; and lhat is just the
reason I am taking ihem to lask about it.
Hill there are so many things that wo
men do lux know, that ihcy nnto know!
1 do not blame thera lor lieing ignorant of
common law, or the plainest rules of
health, or the simplest principles of me
diates; lorihe priiilcge to know these
things men arrogate to themselves. I do
not exactly blame tlie w oman ho gives up
to an old triend ol her dead husband liis
unpaid note, upon the representation that
"it is all right; the note is of no conse
quence, but he will pay it in aweek or two;
just let him have it now to save bother,"
etc., etc. I do not, as I say, quite feel like
reproaching her for being the simplest
creature alive; and certainly no body is to
blame for being simple. And similarly
no man is to blame for being a scoundrel;
because, probably he just "growed so" as
Topsy did, or the Pomeroy boy; and nat
ural scoundrels ought not to be so severe
ly dealt with as artificial ones. Anybody
can sec the force of this proposition, with
half an eye to the interestsof society. The
law of love, in favor in society at pres
ent, judges it wiser and better to let a good
many simple or innocent people be victim
ized by robbers and murderers, rather than
for these few unfortunates to be put out of
society's way It is expected that a great
reform is to be accomplished by kindly al
lowing the criminally inclined to do as
their impulses direct them, and compelling
the honest and safe part of the community
to pay the expenses incident to the indul
gence of their abnormal propensities. It
is also hoped, that by encouraging depraved
instincts in the parents, a virtuous prog
eny will klcss the future; on the principle,
no doubt, that "the hair of the same dog
cures the bite."
And I leel a sort of hesitancy in express
ing my opinion of that woman who now
gets her bread by doing odd jobsfor house
keepers, because she was credulous enough
to think she must put her name to certain
papers presented by a villainous lawyer,
who lives by hunting up titles, and watch
ing lor the decease of the owners of valua
ble lots. This industrious individual
clearly cams his right to widow's estate by
looking after it so closely as to know all
about it : and how is the widow to know
but all lawyers arc alike, and the word of
each one is law ? Still, though I have not
denied this man's right to acquire proper
ty by getting unsuspecting women to sign
it away; or by lerrcting out flaws in titles
that have never been disputed, soon , after
the death of the owner; and frightening
the widow into paying him a magnificent
bonus for making cventhing safe ( ? ) I
have a sort of unpleasant conviction thai
the woman is to blame for being such a
ninny. I have an impression in a general
way, that if these women had not been sat
isfied to be childishly ignorant, they need
not have been.
Again, when a poor woman, with sev
eral children to support, puis all her money
into stocks, and leaves the certificates in
the hands of a broker w ho in failing fails
also to account for the stock, I do not
blame the broker oh no I I simply
think "what a silly woman I" Of course
the broker knows that she is silly, and be
ing mortal, prefers 'wronging her, to en
countering the wralh of some big-fisted
man and broker. It would not do to be
too hard on the broker; and I choose, in
any case 10 be severe on the weaker par
ty. It is safer. And therefore I say all
these victiinucd poor women ought to be
ashamed of themselves for being victimized.
I'crlus ignorance of the rules of bus
iness is less culpable, in our sex, than ig
norance of parasol handling and other con
ventionalities; but then il is really more
fatal to our pecuniary interests, and ought
therefore to be avoided. We may lie w il
ling, ourselves, to drudge in other people' "cre only a babe should be, is more
houses for a lure subsistence, while some
man enjoys our money; but the thought
less outside world cannot forgive our hav
ing such tad taste and the world is quite
right we ought not to be forgiven.
There are certain other minor sins of
ignorance that we commit, and for which
we desen-c and receive the maledictions
and contempt of man; and on account of
which they dislike to do business for us or
wilh us. In the first place women, from
the habit of their lives, which is to alwavs
be doing something iliat has neither be
ginning nor end, do not understand the
value of time as applied to stated pursuits;
therefore they allow themselves to be es
timated as bores, for trespassing without re
flection upon the time of those business
persons, men or women, who can ill afford
to spend their working hours in idle talk.
The reproach often applied to our sex,
that we have tongues "hung in the middle
and wagging at both ends," does not come
so much from the fact that we talk on an
average more than men, as that we talk
more inconsequently. I do not know any
thing more tiresome, myself, than talk
that means nothing talk just for talk's
sake. Yet women think one of their own
sex unsocial and unkind who is not wil
ling to listen and reply to meaningless re
marks that break in upon what else might
be a train of thought, but being constantly
interrupted never reaches the dignity of
thought at all. I have seen women who
evidently considered it their duty, the non
performance of which would amount to a
serious breach of good manners, to har
angue a roomful of people, though in the
effort to perform this labor they had to go
over ever topic in their personal experience,
from their childhood to the teething of
their last baby. This style of talk it can
not be called conversation when carried
into the business places of men, who have
a certain amount of work to accomplish in
a given time becomes even more irritat
ing than it is in the home-place.
Another trait of women is, that not know
ing anything, or at best very little about
any kinds of business outside of the house,
when they come to have any to perform,
they are in the plight of children desiring
to read without knowing the alphabet;
and being conscious of their ignorance, and
of the opportunity it furnishes for imposi
tions by the unscrupulous, and errors on
their own part, are in an uncomfortable
and uncertain state of mind about it that
leads them to pursue a vascillating course
very annoying totheir advisors. The fickle
ness of purpose arising from doubt, is even
more tolerable, however, than that foolish
assurance that comes from having learned
a little of something and mistaken that lit
tle for the essence of the whole matter. A
flipnt, vain, boastful, ignorant woman,
is a scourge to the patience of everybody,
but particularly men's, because they have
a traditional dislike to independence in
women that makes it of the highest im
portance we should know well and thorough
ly whatever we assume to know. Men
will not accept a woman in a man's place
who only can do as well as the man; she
must do better, in order.to furnish him
wnn an excuse to himself for allowing her
to do at all. Ifis not a sufficient rea
son to him that we nad anything. He is
accustomed lo hear that women are needy
and accustomed to see them depend on
chance for llicir supplies. It is some
thing that he docs not feel like meddling
with; and if you should foolishly demand
his good offices on the ground that you are a
woman, very likely he issaving in hisheart.
"no business to have been a woman!" To
put on vain, half-conceited and half-defiant
airs of knowing things that it is not
possible wilh your small experience you
should know thoroughly, is only to con
demn yourselves to utter disrespect; and
I think that the greasy and sticky hands of
your darlings applied to their broadcloth,
or inc sight of your poodle in the place
s tol
erable than Ihc foolish assumption of be
ing wliat you clearly arc not, in ihc busi
ness ranks of soriiir
Y trust no woman ennstnm mv -.i.
cisms upon the inefficiency, the bad taste
or the w ant of method in the habits of some,
as a reflection upon all, or as in any sense
an effort to discourage her. Not at all.
I love women; and now that I have said
it, I wonder il it strikes vou as oddlv and
as strongly as the same avowal once struck
me .' It is not so very long ago that a
,au wun wnom 1 chanced to
converse upon some topic affecting the in-
terests of our sex, expressed a desire to do
something for a certain helpless class : for
said she, "I love women I" I had so often
found that women loved only men, and
rarpil nothing- for each other, that this sud
den assertion of one woman quite startled
me. There were two ot us then, who
cared as much about our own sex as the
other? who would stand by our own tm
mergencics ? No wonder I was startled
For I see every dav about me the 'evi-
dences of an unreasoning devotion to men
on the part of women; andean only bear
with it patiently because 1 know it is the
sin of ignorance, and unconscious obedience
to custom. You have only to read the
Police Court reports in the daily papers to
learn to what an extent this servility of the
lower classes of women is carried. These
same women would not perjure themselves,
very likely, for their own daughters; but
the most brutal of men thev will : and for
other men to praise their devotion is
reward enough. A story in the Ovirhnd
Monthly for August, called a "Little
Woman" is ( I hope ) a fictitious example
of the same kind. As if there could be anv
glory in prostrating one's soul before a
traitor and a criminal I Hut you do not
have to go outside of your own circle of
observation to find examples enough, It
begins with the favoritism that teaches the
girl of the family to wait upon and obey
her brother; and it continues in the ex
culpation of the boy for faults that would
Dnng the girl under severe criticism, if not
punishment. It allows the young man to
"sow wild oats" with hardly a protest; and
the elder man to violate every sacred ob
ligation with impunity. It makes mothers
care for and support worthless sons, as
they never would equally worthless daugh
ters; and it causes the wives to drink the
cup of sorrow and degradation to the lees,
rather than.break'with their husbands. It '
may be argued that the pecuniary depend
ence of women upon men accounts for
this in a large degree. Granting that, it
does not account for all of it, nor for
the fatuity with which women, pecuniarily
inucpenaent ot men, still devote themselves
to the most undeserving. It is the result
of long ages of imperfect moral training
and complete domination of intellect, to
gether with physical dependence.
There is a poetic side even to such
moral ignorance as this. Undvimr lovn
and undying devotion are beautiful in them
selves, and when applied to worthy objects
become heroic. But a woman is hardlv
excusable, on the ground of these hirrh
virtues, for degrading herself. The virtues
men Decome loul vices that no white
souled woman can countenance and retain
her purity. And my doctrine is this : You
must first be true to yourself before your
devotion to another is morally of any con
sequence. A woman may not know how
to handle her parasol uracefullv how m
take leave seasonably, nor how a business
transaction should be conducted; and on
these merely conventional circumstances
may fail to take rank wilh the ilili. How,
then, if such trifles are not patent every
where, can it be expected that the nicer
and weightier points of true morality and
refined religion should be commonly
understood ?
I am aware tliat the trosoel of irush en
courages the association of the pure with
the impure for the sinner's sake; but I do
not believe in it. The old saying that "you
cannot touch pitch without
full of homely pertinency. The moment
mat you join hands, ever so lightly, with
any unworthy person, that momnt m
lose more than the other gains. The late
Brooklyn trial furnished sufficient evidence
of this truth. Had the
that trial if, indeed, there was an inno
cent party-totally refused from the first
any partnership in the guilty secret with
the other; had Mrs. Tilton refill in li
fer her husband, or her husband refused to
lie (or her, as the case mav he: fiA,t Mm.l.
ton declined to be made the repository of