Jacksonville post., August 31, 1907, Image 1

I
VOL. 1
JACKSONVILLE, JACKSON COUNTY, OREGON. AUGUST 31, 1907
lawyer ■
f the -our. loom in a man­ walk the floor with twins and attend a
ner delightful to the eye of the specta­ funeral. You have no doubt noticed,
tor, but ■ Lrably undignified to the during the session of the Circuit Court,
barrister. But while the lawyers won't a swarm of well-dressed lawyers pour­
P ublished A t J acksonvile , O re ­
and can’, refuse to defend at the court's ing out of the court room, and fa; i g
gon . F or S eventeen R easons A nd
appein ment, the ore as full of reasons down stairs. No, they are not rushing
H ollering A ll T he T ime F or I ts
and excuses for not wanting the job as off to their respective < ffices in siren.,
T own , I ts C ounty and I ts S tate
the av.r.rge Pr.hibitionist is full of ous efforts to meet innumerable clients.
I ndependent O f E verything B ut
mim e me: t i ctviiy impregnated w ith A hobo has just been directe I t.) stand
W ealth A nd T axes .
brandy
:"-ristmas. Excuses.’ Why. up and plead to an information or In­
dear reader, yo.: never witnessed a real, dictment, and they have im] ortant
up-to-date, finished and polished excuse business elsewhere. As a rule, too it
Mile» Overholt, Editor & Manager
until you have been in court on some can be truthfully said that not one-
court day and witnessed one of our lo­ prisoner of this kind out of one hun­
S ubscription P rice $1.50 A Y ear
cal attorneys at law trying to wriggle dred is innocent. They borrow tobacco,
I n T he U nited S tates , C anada
out of being appointed to defend an cigarettes, matches, toothpicks, any­
A nd Y amhill C ounty . O regon
amateur Black Bart who looks about as thing they can get. fifl you up with the
I ssued E very S aturday W hether
prosperous as an Eagle Point property­ most startling ,md brazen lies, protest
Y ou L ike I t O r N ot .
owner before the railroad increased its their spotless innocence, claim that
meal ticket Su.-h excuses as are'giv­ they are ex-Sunday school superintend­
W hen C onvenient S ubscriptions
S hould B e P aid I n M oney ; O ther ­
en are more than masterpieces they ents, then fall down utterly get
wise M ortgages .
M ines A nd
actually are epics in exaggeration.
"pinched” and "sweated’ by the
M ules W ill B e A ccepted
The writer has seen a lawyer who sheriff's office and the district attorney .
had but just been appointed to look af­ confess they’re guilty, ar.d probably
ter the interes , of some hard-looking ex-cons., and then complacently "go
character. :.ge fifteen years in as many across.” is it anything to be wondered
The recent bank failure in Portland
minutes. For instance, the attorney at that lawyers plead incurable com
in which so many Southern Oregon
The Fall term of the Circuit Court would be sitting in court, looking the plaints, break their legs getting out of
people were so vitally interested, gives
will convene next Tuesday, when a picture of adolescent health; his eyes reach, have enough business on Cap to
rise to a certain phase that has its
number of cases of public interest will would be bright and sparkling; a splen­ run a big department store, ami do all
light side. Right in this town we have
come up for trial.
did color in. his cheeks—you would not these things in a wild, exuberant, yet
seen and talked with men who were
No doubt a great many of our read­ take him t<- be a day over thirty. Then frantic, effort to fade away and lose
(apparently) put entirely out of busi­
ers have noticed in the newspapers of Judge Hai :-.a ii. the most silky of Ui.es themselves in a dreamless oblivion?
ness by the banks failure.
For awhile
this county and other counties local requests him to unde take the defense
these men fairly luxuriated in relating
items to the effect that a certain attor­ of the hard old game slouching at the
to their anxious creditors how unfor­
ney has been appointed, by the court to further ent: of the court room. Then
tunate it was that they had probably-
A county paper has the nerve to state
defend some individual arrested for what a transformation, my countrymen! that
its town has the fine.-t climate of
lost their little ail and that the uncer­
burglary, grand larceny or even mur­ You can actually see lines and furrows any place in Southern Oregon, and
tainty was killing them! Men who
der. Very likely many of the readers grow in the face of that Jwo-minutes- cites a few instances in which people
would not know a certificate of deposit
have entertained the opinion that that ago joyful lawyer. He now looks ac­ were made well again, et.-., etc. It also
from a lock off a red cow s tail averred
lawyer who was appointed the prison­ tually six’
year- old! Within three s atis that the town has he prettiest
that the vaults of the banks were
er’s attorney was a very lucky fellow •minutes th? snows of winter have girls in the whole world, with variations.
groaning with their deposits; fellows
Now we do not want to be classed
to have such prominence *hrust upon sprinkled his temples with virgin white.
who had not been inside of the doors
him, and suppose that the court select­ He gets to Ills feet with difficulty, hok’- among the knockers, but we feel called
of such an institution, and who could
ed him out of the Bar on account of his ing un.u d’.e desk fur support. His upon to defend the old town; we must
easier draw a cork than a check, go
peculiar fitness as a criminal advocate, voice is a wavering crescendo, his eyes come to the fore and explain a few-
around the town with white faces and
or as a special mark of esteem. Now­ dim and lack lustre and his hands shak­ hard boiled facts.
a woe begone look. Let us illustrate
nothing is further from the real facts ing with p.tlsy. He is. indeed, a piti­ But speaking of climate, why Jackson­
how the average creditor was stood off.
than the above. The average attorney ful sight, ihei: there is poured into ville is about al! climate half of it
For convenience, we will use the edi-
would just about as soon have a mild the ear of the polite though incredulous anyway. Why only yesterday a man,
-torialterm “we” in the same spirit
attack of diphtheria (he would an hun­ judge a list of ailments and complaints whose word is much more reliable than
that the godly- minister prays that "we
dred times rather have the measles) which would make a modern almanac ours, told us that he had a friend who
may be delivered from our manifold
than be selected by the court to make look cheap.
knew a man who came to Jacksonville
sins.” Of course none of us are so
the defense of some fellow who has
Such a gamut of disorders and physi­ in the last stages of ticdouloureux,
mean, so horrid, so scally as to actual­
been run in by the strong arm of the cal troubles possessed by some of these his face hardly worth anything at all,
ly do it any more than the self-depre­
law. It might not be uninteresting to lawyers is enough to make one’s heart and now he can run his face anywhere
ciating man of the gospel thinks he is
the layman to explain a few matters bleed. According to one stricken bar­ in town. And Jacksonville’s climate
in need of prayer; but to give the cir­
connected v ith these court appoint­ rister who had been called upon to de­ was the cause of it all. Anothei man
cumstance a flavor of humility, it may
ments, and why the members of the fend a vicious and impecunious hobi, who was troubled with insomnia to such
not be out of place to use the personal
Bar are not in the habit of turning he had lumbago, locomotor ataxia, was an extent that he had nut slept for six
plural pronoun. Very well. We were
somersaults of joy when the eagle eye in the first stages of consumption, had months came to Jacksonville in 1X78 and
sitting in our dingy office on that lovely
of the court is focused in their direction a floating kidney, brain-storm, weak he has been sleeping ever since in the
day of mirth and untramelled joyous­
on the day the prisoners are arraigned eyes, defective hearing, dementia graveyard! Another case that is of
ness known as “collection day.” the
and asked to plead.
Americana, and a dozen other troubles vast impo ■ ance at this t ime is that of
first of the month.
In the first place it might be well to which the writer has not the space to a man who came here from Kansas
■•The birds are twittering in the trees,
state that the law provides no fund, enumerate. All would have gone well, troubled with his stomach. He couldn’t
The hum of insects in the air;
state, county, or otherwise, by which no doubt, for the court was visibly af­ keep anything on it but his mind. And
A vagrant breeze stirs the leaves,
A step is heard upon the stair.”
lawyers are to be paid for defending fected, until the debilitated attorney, he couldn’t, of course, take anything
We are not responsible for the above impecunious criminals under appoint­ in his thoughtless eagerness, inadvert­ for it. But after coming toJaeksonville’s
poetry, notwithstanding the beautiful ment by the court. They are obliged ently happened to mention some well, climate he got so he would take any­
thoughts contained therein, but we fire to work gratuitously, and that, it is some mild complaint peculiarly appli­ thing he could lay his hands on!
it at our journalistic audience fur what hardly necessary to add, causes the cable to the gentler and fair sex among
And the young ladies of the town!
it is worth. The steps upon the stairs average legal light a sad, but not his dismal list, then it was all off with Why. they are more beautiful, more
become louder, and presently a grim- sweet, pain which hovers around his him.
gentle, sweet and kind, more lovable
visaged creditor, a green grocer in many anatomy sometimes for hours. But as
Again, attorneys often attempt to and kissable than any bunch of heart
senses of the word, shows up. Now is an attorney is strictly an officer of the escape this gratis service by a sudden smugglers between the aurora borealis
our time. We rush towards him and court, there is no way to crawl out of and unheard of amount of other legal and the Judgment Day. When, in the
before he can draw his itemizee state­ an appointment except by permission business which has just poured in on course of human events, you get your
ment four yards, two feet, and three of the court. Should the attorney at­ them. The amount of legal engage­ coat sleeve hung around the sylph-like
inches long on us, we pillow our soft,
tempt to stand on his dignity and refuse ments some of them have on such oc­ waist of one of them and gently drag
no, not "soft,” but tender, heads upon to act without sufficient excuse, to the casions is truly remarkable. The writer her toward your watch fob, and note her
bis unstarched bosom and burst into a deep, dark, dank bastile he would go knows of one attorney who, at the same pouting lips in close proximity to your
passion of tears. In hysterical, broken for contempt of court; and as the aver­ hour of the same day. hail to be in the false teeth, why man alive, it would be
accents; with many catchings of the age sheriff’s office force is not particu­ Supreme Court at Salem, the court of the greatest pleasure in the world to
breath and our fragile forms shaking larly in love with the average lawyer, Linn county, take a deposition in Port­ promptly expire for her. It would be
like a young locust tree torn by the as sooner or later they clash in criminal land, try a cow case at Ashland, sell the height of bliss to stand all day and
fierce winds, we tell the green grocer matters, the sheriff, or his deputy, al­ some property at the court house door let somebody jab a pitchfork into your
that we are ruined. All of our savings, ways takes a mild delight in running a in Grants Pass, nurse his sick wife. liver for her amusement.
Jacksonville Post
The Post Publishing Co.
The Bank Failure
the hgrdearned profits of years toil
and labor and of self-denial have beet,
swept away at one fell sweep by the
failure of the Portlai d bank. It may
be that never in ail of the vears of our
precious lives have we had as much as
three dollars and seventy cents in any
bank at any one time; perhaps we do i t
even know the name of the cashier,
tha is absolutely irrlevant and imma­
terial, as the lawyers say. The less we
have in banks the louder we cry. Such
poignant sorrow as bubbles forth and
Hows from our storm-wrecked selves is
enough to melt the feelings of a eigar-
Indian. But it catches the grocer, and
ten to one he steals softly from the
room, his own eyes s iff used in tears,
and leaves us in uui “sorrow.” The
above is most likely slightly exagger­
ated, but there is no doubt that
many a graceful stall I ) f was made on
the strength of the recent bank
fai ure.
When Court Convenes
Our Climate, &c.