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About The Independence west side. (Independence, Or.) 18??-1891 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 5, 1901)
v 1 1 -1 .4 ,1 . r h if Digestion . 'Miserable, ,V : : . t nut because they weal te, luse they maul, I ar Irritable nl fretful ; otherwise. it a bad. taste la the i at U pit of the stom .Mint of imfTjr tuliwun, iuru and what not, t' imely, irtil by perms i k thousands ot sever caw. l fl's Sarsaparilla hoouV riiu knTTHtttM miKuu. limitations, One upon a tlm the Fate en dowed a certain people with a aens ot humor. Rrentually the people became aware of this, and their mortification there upon was very gttt, "rr how," eielalmed they. "are we ever to become a world power now?" Of court, patriotism might atlll be Uutht to the school. Detroit Jour nal. Paying "Did that minim stock you bought turn out to be a paying Investment' . lea, answered the mild-eyed man. after an Ineffectual effort to cheer up. "It haa kept me paying assessments ever since I drat got hold of it."- Washington Star, Could PratKt Hit Rights. Uncle Hiram I tell you what, that f young Jorklna that's sparkln' our V,Mandy know how to look out tor number one. Aunt Malaprop Yes, he'a no eye or runnln' arotin' soiling hta birth right tor a meaa of pottage. Rufcwd ev Hotut CteanlM. Missionary Waa It lluuor that brought you to this? f Imprisoned Burglar No. air; It wag touse-tleaulu' aprlnge houee-cleantn', E Missionary Eh! house-cleaning? Burglar Veeslr. The woman had en houaa-rleanin', an' the stair car let waa up, an' the folks heard me. V-TttBlta. . Mule la Punkviltt. "Did yer hear my daughter render that solo last night V "Yes." . , "What did yer think?" 'Thought she'd do a sight better frenderln' lard," A $10,000 rUmeu Set The young Egyptian khedive Is said f to possess the most costly set of har ness In the world. It is made of black leather, with chased gold buckles and collars, ornamented with the same costly metal. The pad cloths are also embroidered with gold, and tue set Is aid to have cost 110.000. it Is for four horses and is used on all state occasions. g TO ftrttMMMitlr Curwl. Ko Ota ar aerrwmr Umtort. SxHftirSUI!Ka'.Mlull4tkinlir. Crooked Homes In Holland. There are many buildings In cities tn Holland which were originally and unmistakably built out of the stralgbL For Instance, not far from the Hotel Vleux Hoelen, where the delegates to the peace conference stayed, there Is An extension being built to one of the churches, and, although the walla are not yet completed, they lean outward more than twelve Inches. Another In stance of this is found In some of the corner houses, whose walls lean out over each etreet. In many cases new houses are evidently put up to mstch the bouses alongside. Strangely enough, though, there are comimrailvely fear cases on record of collapse. A man appeared in town the other day (filing a new kind of rati Why should people be willing to buy rata, vea if they are a new kind Not Always. The Philosopher The empty barrel gives the loudest sound. The Politician There's where you are wrong. During a political cam paign a barl filled with hoodie talks the loudest. MRS. JOHCe FLESH GROWER. Price ta.oa. Thla III thairnulnr. II IfK-wwA. m flMh on any nart of th boriy. I dvelps bust to any dMIml six ' and maicta rouodtptanipfaiw and DKk. KrmovM aU blM'klixuM, tn. n-M-Klim. utinnlm. fl-all worms, and makralli' 'kin xn am) whlia. Writ lbrm,l. tcrrna. MRS, K. JONKH A CO., OffluM UU-411 lulcf Oiaaa Jllil., CUkSSO, 111. FARM MACHINERY BmI poulblr tn hcilld. Dnt material. pro portion. Bwl flnlHb. f.ttttilMt runDlritf. H4-vpitf Jn' crli!nc. M IK'H ICI.I.. I.KUIt H TAVKIt CO., lit and Tajrlur Bl., f orllaiid.or Hit Little Joke. "John," said the politician's wife, waking him up about 2 a. m., "what's that noise?" "That noise?" echoed John, dream ily; "oh, I guess It's some rats hold ing a rat-lfication meeting In the at tic" Poisoned Dy POISOU OAK, poison ivy. BARBER'S ITCH, LEAD amo BRASS POISON I NO, ETC. open, we are much more liable to be affected by Poison Oak nnd Ivy and other dangerous plants. Workers in brass, copper, lead and line have their health Ira paired and the blood supply poisoned through the absorption of fine particles of these metals snd the acids used in polishing and cleaning them. Inhaling the fumes of lead give psinters that pallid, waxy appearance of the sk in. Barber's Itch is another disease that reaches the blood through the skin, and is a most obstinate one when it becomes firmly fixed in the system. After the poison has reached the blood and been disseminated throughout the system it is too late to resort to local applications. In many cases the blood is affected simultaneously with the appear ance of the rash or eruption on the skin, and all efforts should be directed to the Surication and building up of the blood. Ugly eruptions and sores will continue break out in spite of salves, washes, soaps or other external treatment, i 8. 8. 8. is especially recommended for poisons of this ehamcter. So com pletely does it destroy the e0ects of the Oak and Ivr that there is no possibility of Its reappearance, and it is equally as efficacious in brass or lead poiaoafor or Bar ber's Itch ; building op and purifying the blood and driving out of the circulation , impurities of everykind, and removing every blemish, sore or eruption from the skin. There is no substitute for 8. 8. 8. J it is the only purely vegetable blood purifier known, and thesafest and best in all conia.tutional or blood diseases. . Our Medlosl Consultation Department. If you desire any special information or advice about your case, write our physicians, explaining your condition, and uer wui carauuy consider worn you nave to aay ana you will receive a prompt reply. Our physi cians have made a study of blood ana skin diseases, , and you con have the benefit of their experience and skill without any cost to you whatever. Don't hesitate to write fully about yourself, as nothing tou eav iroea bevond our office. We have a vnr WttercetUlg book on Blood and Skin Diseases, which we will be glad tmail free. inc owiri orcvinv Stow, rollconian What are you trying to put that letter In there for? That alnt a letter box; It a a Ore alarm box. Mr. Wayback t know all that, but that houae over there la on Are, and I'm going to notify the Ore depart ment Jarred. rrofeasor Beeawax Accortllng to thla cookbook, you didn't maka the omelet correctly. Bridget An" do to book aay any' thing about your not having paid ma wage for three months? Loyally t Ml KMplwyee, That voimx man ho cmi-eiited to have a portion of hie blood lei out to nil lit) Ssployer, l a remarkalila aml of In Msiii, Tlia iuvldeiit alio a lint LHiwcr Ihera l In good blood. There l only on naiural wrv lo get good bltKHl, and dial l from tlia atouiaih, If lite atuoiai'h needa ilttin-e. irv lloleiier a Stomach Ulllerm, TliU wonderiul metlicine cure dviiwia, imliiieMioti, vuiiatiialioii, and inakw rn'h, nra oitHKi. Flattered. Tramp Them doughnut was so good, mum, I fear I can never again eat ordinary grub. Lady Kr, ait down there, just a moment I'll put you up a nice lunch, my man. till Prophtcv. She la that Ice thick enough support me? Owner of the Pond I dont know I expect It to support me all next summer,. Nurly So. "When a weaknatured man tries to brace up an' be firm," aald Unrla Eben. "h usually doesn' 'compllah nuffln' 'ceptln' to git low down obstin ate." ImIIjIMs. "So Bpudder's going to join your mining ciuo, enr , "No. lie heard that a man had to be a pretty good liar aa well as a fish erman to Join." "Well?" "Spudder cant fish." -Brooklyn Life. I!. .W Thi Climax. Tommy You must be a regular lady killer. Mr. Sappy. Mr, Sappy Why do you think that. Tommy? Tommy Well, Mabel said that after you left last ntght she nearly dled laughing. A Slight Misunderstanding. "Will you have aome pate de fofe gras, uncle?" asked the hostess of her rural relative, who waa dining with her. "Will t have a plate for grass?" echoed the old man in astonishment. "Say. do you think I'm Nebuchadenet lar or a horse?" It Would Stm So. Rubberton Msy I Inquire what your business Is, stranger? Stranger (haughtily) Sir, I'm a gentleman. Kubberton Well, I reckon that's a good business, stranger, but you're not the only man that's failed at It. A Minnesota woman haa designed a buttonhole opener for use with but tonholing machines, consisting of a central handle with one end formea with a tapered point to cut the hole open, when the tool la reversed and a Hut. double-edged blade is used to make the hole of the proper length. Ths Vsy to Plats Mm. "They say the way to please a man Is to talk about himself." "No; the way to please him Is to let htra talk to you about himself." Iaiii don Tld Hits. ; Cartful Ct ok. f He Our cook la ao careful about thieves. She always locks the doors, even In the daytime. She Thut s nothing. Our cook si ' ways keeps a policeman in the I kitchen. Tld lilts. I Mothers will and Mrs. Wlnslow's Sooth i liift Hymp the batt remedy to use lor their clilliin-n during tna teetnuig penou. Rial Salflih. Mn Hnltilmu Home Do villi know I envthliku ahrtiit fViat family thilt la moving Into the flat in the next block? 1 M r Nexilnre No. hut I think thev . are rather selfluh, disagreeable people. They took all their household turn I- ture there In these big. covered vans, . so nobody could tell what it looked like. Chicago Tribune. AND SUPPLIES. Ensilage Cutter. Bei ami onlr peril!! tilowwrctii tar nri t tie marlct. m-nd lor olrruUr. alltr h.-ll. Umit ft etaver to. Portland, Ore, JOHN POOLE, Portland, Oregon, fool of Morrleoa Straal. Can give yon the beat bargains In Humifies, i'lows, Hmiers and Knmei, WiiMmllls and Pumps en 1 General Machinery. See ns before buying What Ailed Her. The Rov. Dr. Thirdly Whnt's this? Weeping? I have come just in time, My dear young lady, you are under going a change of heart. Young Lady No boo-hoo my heart haun t changed, but, Oh, dear Oh, dear! Ills has! Absorption Through the pores of the skin many poisons an absorbed into the blood, deranging the circulation and affecting the constitution as quickly and seriously as those generated within the system. lust uuut:r uicaam are innumcrauie nair-ime Diooa vessels, and connecting these with the skin are millions of small tubes or glands, through which the poison is conveyed to the blood sys tem. During the spring and summer, while the skin is most active and the cores well wunu'AixY, AH-AniA. UA. OURED BY PERUNA OF Nervous Prostration, 1 A, SIMI'HO.V, (Sae'y Voard et kducailoa, aa PranelN. Hon, J. A, Sini(ioit, secretary ot the board of education ot Sun rruu c inert, Cat., writes: "1 have (omul reruns an Ideal tonic. Soma mouths ago t suffered with neurasthenia (systemic cHtsrrli), caused by too close application to cilice work. My system seemed worn out ami I (t it (ar from well. 1 found rerun heucllttod luo very much. It built up the entire synlciu and intulo mo feel like a new man, 1 believe it is well worthy the high (traise betowl upon it." J, A. Simpson. "Summer Catarrh," a book written by Dr. llartman, treskUtit of The Ilartman Sanitarium, on the subjivt of the nervous diturlanc peculiar to summer, sent (recto any aildrcM by The IVrun Medicine, Co., t'olum bus, 0. Caisrprlu, Miss City (entering small country notion store, wherein was collected a little of everything) Have you lllack'a "In Silk Attire?" Clerk No. Hut heie'a one new piece of Anderson glnghiim. mn'am. Solkltoui, Utile Kthel I guess you don't like coffee, do you, Mr, Smith. Mi'. Smith Why, yes. Ethel. I am very fond of coffee. Utile Kthel Well, you make such a noise swallowing it that I thought It hurt you, St. Jacobs Oil drill all records and always will. Cures Rheumatism Sprains Weakness ot the limbs and ail At-heaand Tains. , Acts like magic Conquers Pain SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES. San Francisco Business College 13 Maraat SI., Ran fraiirliro, Car, FULL COURSE, JeO.00. Vi rile tor Catalogue. Cherry Baiter Pudding. Stone three cupfuls of ripe cherries. Beat two ckks light, stir into them a tablespoonful of melted butter and a pint of milk, then four cupfuls of pre pared flour. Last of all stir In the cherries, well d: edged with flour. Turn Into a gressed mold and steam for three hours. Serve with a hard sauce. Detroit Free Press. They Were Pilie. Blithers He called me a liar to my very teeth. Blathers Serves you right; leave your teeth home next time, Ohio Btute Journal. A Netural Inlercnce. Mrs. Bertwhlstle (automoblllnR) I hear the very Intent dunce Is culled "The Automobile." Dusnap Um; I suppose It Is a sort of "breakdown," Brooklyn Battle. Deceitful. Sidewalk Ticket Seller Opera ticket, sir? Rev. Shabby IOiiKroitt I am Indig nant! Do I look like an opera-KoInK man? Ticket Seller How was I to know them was yer best clothes? Summer Resolution ttKK Kcclcy Cure Dure relief liom liquor, opium sml tauaaoa bablu. Send tor partloulare to Kuli, tnstltuts. iZ Ei..""" On to till Curvci. Reckless Youth Father, dear, would It be asking too much for you to advance nw a small loan say about r,0. The Governor Not at all, my son. You might ask me for double the amount with equal likelihood of gel ting It. You can't afford to be modest in those little requests a bit more than I can afford to grunt thorn. Ohio State Journal. Fable. , Now the Horse, being sensitive to ridicule, paused as they were about to enter the gates of the city. "You look so like 30 cents!" pro tested the Horse, regarding palnedly the woman driving. "Well, money's supposed to make the mare go'."- retorted the woman, with a loud laugh. Saying which she belabored tho beast vehemently, This fable teaches that the gift of speech is not of necessity fortunate. Detroit Journal. A Parsdoxical Taliiman. Judge Have you formed any opin ion on this case? Wouldbelgh Juror No, sir; haven't mentioned it to my wife. Smart Sot. The Hunt Mr. Muggins Boon hunting yet? Mr. Moover Yes, Mr. Muggins Shoot any ducks? Mr. Moover Wasn't huntln' ducks, Mr. Muggins No? Mr. Moover No huntln' a house. Columbus (O.) State Journal. I- oiaVet xuav COSTLY MIWC1 Pita alaed aU'a Daeaaae tall Aselaat Railway (.seaMa. Johnny Fochl ate 8ve mince pies at one sitting, and thla little feast cost blin exactly td.Onu. Ills suit sgslasl the Camden Suburban. Railway Oet pany for that amount fur 'ajurlue sua lalned In being pueheti from a car was progressing favorable to Jiliu yesterday In the Camden Court, Half dusvu doctors had sworn that he was an In valid as the result of the accident, when Willie 11 rower, one of Johnny's wltueasea, In his rambling testimony told of Johnny's love for pitta. Counsel for the trolley company saw a glimmer of hope tn this, "t'ould he eat a whole pvV was asked of Willie. "Why, yes; he ate flvt within few minutes last week," the boy replied. The three lawyers who represented Johnny were on their feet In an Instant demanding of the court to know what mince pie had to do with Johnny Foehl being Injured by a trulley car. They wanted thla portion of the testimony stricken out, "Well," declared counsel for the trol ley company, "any boy who can eat live mince plea at one sitting la not very umcti of aa Invalid." The court admitted the mluce pie testimony. Having got luto the case, the pies remained to a fliilali. Counsel for the plaintiff wanted to bring wltueasea to prove the pine were mall five-rent ones, They were will ing to send for a pie to show the Jury. The railway company's lawyers con ceded that the plea were email, but contended that even so no Invalid could eat five of them. When all the testimony waa In the court, relievlug the Jury, declared that Johnny Fochl had not made out a rise. The uiltut pin testimony had been fa tal to lt.-l'hlladelphla North A inert, can. Plana Cure for t'iimtit!on i su iufal Mine iiiimIh In fur niuihe Slid eolda. S. W ,ami i. rn tirute, N, J-, Feb. 1?, I!l. ADF.RICAN WHO WAS COSTLY. Friends of the Earl of Kseei, who Is Iti severe fluanelal straits, are endeavor ing to get King Kdward VII. to give him some position whereby his Income may be Increased. The Karl's devotion to his American-born Couutwss cost him Just HR.ooo a year. That amount he was receiving from bis cousln'a wife, cor st sea or aaasx. Ijidy Meux, when his wife, who wss Miss Adele Grant, of New Tork, dis pleased her ladyship. Mines Lady Mem cut down the Earl's Income he has been compelled to live on lu.ott) a year. I u, leas something Is done for tbe Karl he will be compelled to give up his English residence and remove to the continent. flowers Preserved by Inaecta. Insecta are a necessity of tbe life of Bewere, as they carry the pollen; yet some destroy both plants and trees. Here nature comes In with extraordin ary means ot protection, as In tbe arum Illy, where fibers like needles and spikes force them to beet a hasty retreat The bull's horn thorn, an Aus tralian tree, Is particularly well pro tected against these maraudera. At tbe eud of each leaf la a pair of hollow horns. In which live a small, fierce, pugnacious speclea of ant, bribed to tbe office of defence by a generous supply of food collected oo tbe lesf close to their cells. When destructive Insects come to carry away the foliage of tbeee trees the warlike Inhabitants spring out from their kopje-like fastnesses, de scends upon tbe Invaders, killing all who are not able to flee. Two Docs- Rolllngstone Nomoss I cum across! a dug de odder day wot wss so tsine he eat out o' me band. Hagaon Tl!crs--I encountered a dog onct wot est out o' me leg, I got de sear yet.--Philadelphia Record, A woman always ba the best or the worst of 1L ABSOLUTE SECURITY, Cenulne Carter's Little Liver Pills. Mult Bear Signature of 5e Facsimile Wrapper Below. Terr sssaU said aa a aay te take aa eaa FOR HEADACHEa FOR DIZZINESS. FOR IIUOUSNESS. FOR TORPID LIVER. FOR CONSTIPATION. FOR SALLOW SKIN. FOR THE COMPLEXION CURE SICK HEADACHE. ICattOTiffl PENSION IT BICKFOHO, Weehlnglon, 0. C, therwlll re. II calve qulek repllea. B. Olh N. H. Vein. HUB SOtb Corps, fromuuUng Claims ilnce WO, at. P. X. 0. as. a i-teoi. WH1CN writing t advartlaers pleaee mention tlile paper. mm writiit ail tist teat CouKh Htriip. Tiutinui m (ails. . Beet Couah a nip. T aatea oooii. Uesl id time, worn nr unweiim. eJl! warUs carter's w 6REW FIR5T PRIZE IN The first name snnouneed from the l.swton wheel la the Oklahoma homestead lattery wss tbst ot James It. Wood, a salesman la a hardware store at Weather ford, O. X. The land he gets Is ssld to be worth 110,000, MEXICO THIRD IN CORN. Its Yield of the Caraal Kareeded Only bjr Walled Htate sad Analrla. Mexico rauk third among tbe corn growing nations of tbe world, lta total crop being exceeded only by that ot tbe United States ami of Austria 11 uugary, says the Crop Reporter, Issued by tbe United tttatce Department of Agricul ture. From one point of view, tbe Mex ican crop Is of even more Importance tlin n that of any corn-raising country on the globe. In 1KU8 It amounted to 111,3I7,ihjI bushels and It presented the remarkable feature of being a Utile over twelve times larger than tbe wheat crop of that country for the same year, aays the Texas Stock Jour nal. Mexico Is of more relative Import ance aa compared with Its wheat crop to the agriculture of Mexico than Is the corn crop of the fulled States. Our own com crop In lttiN waa only about tlireufuld tbe production of wheat and this ratio Is seldom greatly exceeded. The climate and soil of Mexico below tbe twenty-eighth degree of north lat itude are doubtless as favorable to the production of corn as those et any country In the world. Below that de ll ree of latitude the four eeasous merge Into two, the rslny and tbe dry; and the comparatively heavy produc tion of com there, lu spite of tbe most primitive methods of farming, Is large ly due to tbe fact that In many places two successive crop "'"' be raised on the same soil In tbe course of the year. The yield la prodigious and Is given by some authorities as multiplying from '.DO to 400 fold. The statee of principal production are ,:eiiernlly thuee tbst border umu or lie tiear the coast, either on the I'aclilc or gulf side. Tbe Hlitte of Jalisco ou the m-tllc Coast, the Drat con producing SUite of the republic, with a total area In iiire miles somewhat larger tbiiu the State of New York, produced lu ISDN a crop uf ill.Hli.IHiO bUHhels. Fast of, and coiitliigumis to, J a 1 1 wo, the Write of tiiiiiiiajiinto, with au area a Hill.. i f Ohio iinaluefHl the siH-oiid crop lu lniHrtauce, or to,, ittt.otio bunbels. Xlli lioai Hii, a I'iicIIIc Const State Joining Jalisco on the south, produced ft.iOi.niHi uliela. On the opwa!te const the Stute of Vera Crux, extending lu a narrow belt along 'if uh ... ar. a iii. I., m ir tbst of Jail..,., prmlm-ed 13.3W.imJ 1...-....1. ii... . ...,r i ,i. '. .i in,.,; ..r mil. formiv b.MU-v nriHlneclton are Klnuloa. IllilnUio. I'uelilo. Oaxaca. the Hliite of Mexli n and V isi iitan. The crop etiitlstlcs of Mexico show Unit lu Hint nirt of the country which Ilea bctwreu the twenty-eighth and Hie tweuty-llfth degrees of north latitude the crop varies considerably In iunn tily from one year to another; this Is MintfCftlve of occasional climatic couitl Hons nnd luck of More unfavorable to the culture of corn. But south of the tttciity flfth parallel, especially near the const, the production Is genernlly uulforiu or, ou an ascending scale, In dicating cllnuitlc conditions for corn culture uf an unusual degree of perfec tion. One of the Important facts concern lug corn culture In Mexico Is that from It Is derived the staple article of food among the Mexican people. Upon the tortllln, a kind of com cake, the mass of the people depend lurgcly for subsist ence. DISAPPEARING DESERTS. la Few Veare There'll lie NoPuchlhlag aa a leart in America. Surely the "tlrent American Desert" of our childhood dnys will soon be a thing of tbo past. The only conception of a desert tlmt the next geuoration will be able to obtain in tint come from pictures and descriptions of something Unit once existed, but la no more. In deed, It Is quite likely that we shall .Dot hove to wait for tho next genera tion to witness tbe realisation of this chnngo, A special dispatch from Sun Bern ardino to the Times announces that an artesian gusher, with a flow of nearly ",00 Inches of water, has been struck ou tho Mojnve desert, near Victor, at a depth of less than 200 feet, by parties who were drilling for oil. This la not, by nny menus, the first tiino that water has been struck lu Huuthern California by persons who were seeking for oil, and In some cases the water has proved to be more viilunblo than a moderate amount of oil would be. 0 it ou tho Colorado Desert, below sea level, they have obtained a line supply of nt'tCHlnn wuter ut u moderate depth, nud at the other end of the desert, uear Yumti, wnler Is flowing through a cunnl which Is big enough to be navigated by a steam launch. All this is only a slight foretaste of what Is to come -within the next few years. That fnvorlto quotation, "Tho (lcMcrt shiill blossom ns the roue," Is destined lo be exemplified lo a remark dlilo degree In Huuthern California within tho next decade. Not only shall tho desert blossom as tho rose, but also ns tlui less beautiful but More profllnhle cnblmgo, nnd potato, and cauliflower, and sugar beet, and water melon, and fruit tree, nnd many other things which profit a man's Htonuich and swell his bank nccount.-I,os An geles Dally Times. Astute linn Icii.oiit. During Iho receut Northern Pacific cm-nci a report was printed In nil I lie papers that ex-Secretary Daniel l,a moiit hml given ox-Preslili nt (.'leveliii"' OKLAHOMA DRAWINQ. tbe tip to buy, and that Mr. Cleveland bad profited to tbe extent of several hundred thousand dollars by the Infor mation. The story of bow Union! first won Cleveland's confidence and rose through Mr. Cleveland's favor and bis own ability from the position of a pri vate secretary of the (Jovernor to a place lu the President's Cabinet Is an Interesting oue. When Mr. Cleveland was nominated for Governor, Ijiiiniut waa connected with tbe State Democratic Committee. He bad never met Mr, Cleveland. Evi dently be saw great possibilities In Mr. Cleveland's career, for he determined lo win bis friendship. Kvery night he wrote out a report upon tbe political situation In the Stale, based upon tbe la (cat Information which bad come to the committee, and mailed the report lo Mr. Clevelaud at Buffalo. When Mr. Cleveluud waa elected Governor he chose iJtinont for bis private secretary over many aspirants. On the day of the Inauguration Mr. l-amoul asked the tJovenmr what time he would expect him at the executive mansion the next morning. "Oh, 'long alout 0 o'clock," said the Governor. When Ijimunt went borne that evening he told his wife to see that breakfast waa ready at 7:30. He wss at the executive tuaualon at 8 o'clock, "I had not been In more than ten mluittce,H says Mr. Lamoiit, In telling the atory. "when In walked the Gov ernor." New York Times. Corporation with a etout. It seems to be certain that ere long the saying "Corporatloua have no smila" wilt be sent into Umbo. One In cldeut to help tbe cynical remark that way developed at tbe Fifth Avenue Bunk during a spell of scorching weather. While the clerks were sweltering In tbe heat some one suggested laughingly that they looked as If they needed the comforts of a shower bath, Tbe sug gestion reached the ears of President Frlaaell ami Cashier Dean. They did " '""k u' ' !. hilt Installed In the lavatory In the base ment of the bank building, and under these the clerks were permitted to cool off at frequent Intervals as they chose during the superheated dnys. I Helutlon between employer and em H' 'v J' more cordial "' Mcn.Ily at the bank and tbe I thoiigblftilnesa for the welfare of the i '".!" ', Sequent subject of favorable comment among member of the Bank Clerks' Association and slui liter orgaulxntlons. The Fifth Avenue Bunk people them selves haven't bad much to any about It, but the bank clerks know that such things as private lockers, bicycle stor age rooms, a substantial luncheon lu room provided especially for the pur pose, mi'l at cost price, and now bath ing facilities, do not at nil lessen the Interest taken by those clerks In the routine work and the success of the bank. New York Times. Hoita Hate and Healthful. "At U3 per cent of soda fountains, says a writer In Good Housekeeping, quoting a druggist whose fountain has done a large business for twenty years. "soda Is a safe and healthful drink At the other 5 per cent I shouldn't place It higher thnn that I would not dare to drink. The business has chnnged of late years. I think very few druggists make their carboulc add gns; they buy It lu tubes, as It Is col tected from tbe springs nt Saratoga, for thla la cheaper and better. The sirups are bought now of ono or two large concerns, and are made from the fruits; a few small fountains may use chemic ally prepared flavors, but these are the rare exception, "One of the principal sources of dan ger has been removed with the larger and bolter -fountains now generally used. You take a fairly lnrge fountain which is In constant use and there Is no danger from filth or copper. The mod ern tanks are of riveted steel, and Hned with block tin. Many of tho old tanks were of copper, washed with tin, which wore off, and there was (lunger from the action of the fluids upon the. cop per. There may be small and old foun tains of this kind lu use now at little stands. No, sir, If a druggist Is tidy, and bis fountain Is In constant use, there Is no danger from the fountain r,elf. The water should be filtered, of course, unless It Is known to be extra pure." Helling Hot Meals. One aspect of the food problem has assuredly been salved by a company lu New Haven, Conn,, which undertakes to serve hot nieuls to all and sundry within a radius of seventy miles from Its headquarters, and that from 25 per cent to BO per cent cheaper thnn (Bey enn be obtained elsewhere. These meals nre sent out In wagons with com partments for eneh article. Tho menls are placed In the different compart ments smoking hot, nnd nre kept at a high temperature until placed on the purchaser's tablo. Fine Academy at Annapolis. When completed the new naval ncad- emy nt Annapolis win huve cost $:i,ooo,(MH) nnd will be liner than any Government structure outside of Wash. Ingtnn. It will have accommodations for nno cadets. Tliu minute u boy sits down tit homo, every member of the family finds some thing for him to do. Fanners call dressing up "agony." -v sV V aassjaaaa PC'jr.3, xJ Ci&9 13 li, toy l mmmwmU woma."-tt. i. . TOtt, UZ&om, N. II. Mrs. Town, like many other suffering "J""1 theory. Her physician did his beat. He bad battled with her oaee s3y and oould do no more. WMra.Towne bad asked ad of Mra. Plnkham seven or eight years earlier, she would havt had . iuet ao many snore yean of happiness and eomfort and Health. ' It la iitiwmable to expect that any hvlng person can advise for female troubles as safely m MrsPinsliam. whose experience la wtthont parallel in the world. Thla should appeal to tna oommon aenee of any wornsn, epecially when nearly eery newspaper in thla oountry la printing in almost every i . .l. i.j.. mnm Mman who haa been eured br Mrs. Pinkh&m when don tors had doctor to give you up to tbe surgical knife, or tell yon that you . . . m . . r Ji aV.u MxM MaA naart stlli a In ear aft cannot live. 1MR TOUr AUTlOsl too benefit of the widest eiperieaoa. ar - . V.WMM W. U .HilldlMIUI. ad nlj 01 There' la no female complaint, however simple or however IUHV W HV IWIMIW vwieessseeew, " ' w " " V .r , M aerioue, that Lydl K. PlnVharn'a Vewotnblo Compound will not halD! of this there Is years' record of constant euooeea. When you ask for this medi cine at tha drogilst'i. be sure you (at what you ask for and notbinf elaa. The medicine that cures ia , LyGa E. FteSAmta Vztt& Compound. TiOOl) Out .of rraclice. Boss (to workman) Do you call that a good job? Hare you ever served an apprenticeship? t Workman Yes. twenty years ago. Boss What have you been doing since? Workmm I've been out on a strike most of tbe time. Will Named. Harry Say, she It your step- mother, ain t she? Alice I guess so. Anyway, the teps out and leaves me to work. Thought tie Was Oat of Them. Manning A year or two ago I ad vised Pitcher to write a book on the famous men he bad met Boyd And did he do it? Manning He wrote an autobiog raphy. Boston Transcript ItTimtTtenid ArCf table Pi parationforAs slmllaiing Die Food andReflula ting the 5toiMcrts andBowls of Promolcs DigcstionChecrfur- ness and iicsi loniatns neiuier thihtm.Morphiue nor Mineral Not Narcotic Aneriecl Remedy forConsliM Hon. Sour Stomach, Diarrhoea Worms ,(,onvulswi,revemri ncss nnd Loss or Sleep. Facsimile Signature of NEW YDHK. T tl ML EXACT COPr Or WRAPPER. sw BEST FOR ef??TYrnTi1r V33ii2ilaa2-' 2laaaaaaa SWEETEN THE STOMACH PURELY VEGETABLE LIVER TONIC : fegfsikaW m m mw aW eW.eiblflll ) CANDY ' 1 I CATHARTIC akeaawae www MILD BUT SURE ; MMWWMMAt JIJOTHERSJ Ajajajausuu CONSTIPATION H'iEvir'sblT' IN BULK tt I A A D rV A D fa will be paid to any reader of this paper who will re 3IUU riLYYlill port to us any attempt of substitution, or sale of ' something just as good" when Cascarets are callsi for, and furnish evidence upon which we can convict. All correspondence confidential. Tar gi etf WZXtJ mi ftMMitl C&VZ I tormi mol of tho Cat, ttd 09sWeKf to tmll mvmrv Urn: A to UAm LYC'Jk e. f;..z- I'AU'S VZCITACIE COM. riven her up. Don't wait for the are certain to bare . w WBra rita to Mrs. Pinkbain. no charge it made for advioe. monumental evidence in lu thirty ncwniiu Ibe haliooal Ctly Barb, of Iron, feota, wklrk " will be paio w ear pt ana whom a (ad that I he elxe Uetlaioalal Idler la aM a eealae. ar was puUiahMl belurt oUalaloa the wrtter'e .perUI pcrtaiMioek Lvsia . rixKn MauurtaaCo. Mil Preference. Oldham Are you going to the lec ture tonight ou "The Oirl of Today?" Younger Guess not. Tbe girl of tonight Is more attractive. . Never Too Le'e to Mead. Naggs Dear me, Jagga. I'm sorry to aee you In this condition. I under stood you had quit drinking. Jaggs Yes,h (hie), sho Pave, ol' chap. Jush (hlc) lef off drlnkin' 'bout (hlc) minute ago, shee? Umitatione. Teacher Bobby, you must go and wash your face. Bobby returns with mouth and nose fairly clean. His forehead la wet and dirty. Teacher Bobby, why Bobby I did wipe it as high as my shirt would reach! For Infanti and Children. The Kind You Have Always Bought Bears Signature In Use For Over Thirty Years THE BOWELS io as so ALL DRUGGISTS. taste rood, Eat them like candy. The? remove any bad tante In the mouth, leav ing the breath eweet and perfumed. It la a pleasure to take them, and they are liked especially by children, sweeten the itomach by cleanslna- ths mouth, throat and food channel. That means, they etop undigested food from souring In the stomach, prevent gas form ing. In the bowels, and kill disease germs ot any xina inai oreea ana teea in ine en tire system. are purely vegetable snd contsln no mrk- curlal or other mineral poison. They con sist of the latest discoveries In medicine, and form a combination of remedlea un equaled to make the blood pure and rich, and make clean skin and beautiful com plexion. tons ths stomach and bowels and stir up the laay liver. They do not merely soften the stools and cause their discharge, but strengthen the bowels and put them Into lively, healthy condition, making their ac tion natural. nerer grip nor gripe. They act quietly, pos itively and never cause any kind of uncom fortable feeling. Taken regularly they make tha liver act regularly and naturally as It should. They keep the sewerage of the body properly moving and keep thersyt tern clean. Increase the flow of milk in nursing moth ers. If the mother eaia a tablet, it makes her milk mildly purgative and has a ml Id but certain effect on the baby. In tills way they are the only safe laxative for ths nursing Infant. taken patiently, persistently, will eurs any form of constipation, no matter how old or how often other remedies have failed. They are absolutely guaranteed to cure any case, or purchase money will ba cheerfully re funded. eost lOo, !6c, Mc a box. Samples sent free for the asking. We publish no testimonials but sell Cascarets on their merit under ab solute guarantee to cure. Buy and try a box to-day, or write ua tor free samples and booklet. aeerMs stisuss assist bo., rnicioo w loat. the . i thi otTui eaaiMav. ant rant. em. v.