The Medford mail., July 17, 1908, Image 2

HIS FATHERLY TALK,
Gardner Indulges In One
Fellow Members.
With
COMEBACK JOHNSING WARNED
la Teld Net t. terieusly Troubled
Aaeut the Werls Coming I an End.
Inllw yntax It Also Warn, a to
Be Careful.
'Copyright IMS
"Dar an a few members of dla Lime
trJa club dal I wish to tiare a teetle
Oaderly talk wld dla eveolu'." begin
Brother Gardner after the routine busl
aees of the laat meeting had been -die-posed
of. "Brudder Comeback John
Inf. please stand up."
The brother gradually unlinked him
self until he stood up all feet tall ad
"FBSDIOTVD MTCm iHt BLIEJUBM DOOkV
im' is virrwu"
bout as large around aa a cornstalk,
ad after surveying Mm for a moment
she president said:
"Brudder Comeback, I I'ara dat you
aa seriously troubled 'bout de world
smtn to an endr'
"Tea, sab, I Is."
"Too am look In' far It almost eTery
UfV
"Yes, ash."
"And you am ready to rash fur a
front seat whoa de show opens?
"I want to alt a good start sab.
"Waal, I'll see dat you de. I want to!
ay to yon dat dn am no foot nigger
dob. De rest of as bellere dat de
world was put yere to stay. It
been yere fnr mlllyoaa of years, and It
am gwlne to contlner In plan ess till de
machinery wears out. Dat may possi
bly occur a blllyon years hence. By
dat time It wgl hare been forgotten
dat slcb a long. lank, foolish man aa
yon have eber galloped around.
"Par's been talk of de world eadtn'
p fur de laat 10,000 years, and It has
alius come from people who am Hgbt
in de head. I can't atop all of 'em from
contlnerln' dla alUy talk, bat I can
top yon. Ton am gwlne to git np to-
morrer mawnln' a different man. Too
am gwlne to hunt fur a job and find
It. You am gwlne to work like a boss
Instead of eltHn' around de atove. Ton
am gwlne to pay ap your back rent
Instead of laokla' for de end of de
world. Vou am gwlne to bay clothes
far de wife and chlldern Instead of
rusbln' for a front aeat You am
gwlne to pass de evenln'a wld your
family Instead of spookln' around and
Ustenln' for tie blowin of horns. You
am gwlne to do dla or you am gwlne
to be dorpid from die yere Limekiln
club wld sUh a thud dst it will break
bones. You can now ant down, and
Brudder Halibut White will erect ht-eelf-
Brother Halibut laid the half of a
raw turnip be was eating on the floor,
put away bis Jaokknlfe and atood up
with folded anna, and the president
add resiied him with:
"Brudder Halibut, de newe haa come
to me dat on a sartln night two weeks
ago you dreamed of seein' a cross eyed
blsck cat chaain' a bobtalled white
dawg frew a graveyaard. You dream
ed dat drenra three Um pa runnln', and
it aOknted yon so powerfully dat yon
got out of bed and sot up de rest of de
night; alao. you took It aa a warnln'
dat anudder airthqaake waa comin'
ami nm still alttln' aroand and waltln'
fur it. Am I correct, Brudder Hali
but r
What the Dream M.ant
"Yea. nub. Dat dream means an
alrthquake fur shore.
"Um! Did dot est wink at you aa
aha waa haallln' dat dawg along?"
"Can't any she did, sah."
"Did dat dawg sorter wave a fare
well to you wld bis atump of a tall?"
"Itcckon not.
"Waal, we will bar to remedy de
vorslgbt. Jlst He ten to me fur a
mlnlt. If you bss any mo dreams
of dat sort and I hear of dun, an alrth
quake will alart right under your feet!
It will lift you up and bump dat bard
bead of yours agln de cellln', and
when you coma down yon will be
frown over eighteen ctaa'rs and nine
teen benches, and da folks dat pick
rou up will Bnd your neck brakes.
Dat's plain English, and 1 hope yea
nnderstand It. Dla am no drea mere
club, and it hain't no alrthquake club.
Yon can aot down and devour da real
of dat turnip, and if Brudder Syntax
Oreen am among aa tonight be may
arise."
Brother Syntax was on a back aeat,
trying to figure oat with the stub of a
pencil and aa old envelope bow bla
butcher could make Ave out of two and
two. He rose up and came forward
aria e nutated face, and after teasai
a drink of new elder from the pike see
at his elbow the president aaid:
"Brudder Syntax, I bear yon want
aber to be cabta at Brudder Peace
maker Small da odder night and made
few predlcshoaa?"
"Yea, sen."
"You predicted seven tees tri It sards
donrlu' Ui winter?"
"Yea, aah."
"And dat raters would ge op te fe'
ollara a bnahetr
"Yea, sab."
"And dst bacon wootd bs a dollar a
Bound befo neat Mag r
"Tea, sab."
"And dat anew weald fal 'l.vea feet
ap an wiM. Tr
"Ypn, sail."
"Ami dat uillljons and mlllyons of
people wits gwlne to die off of cold and
tit it a 8b u ii?
"Yes. sab. I see It coinln'.'
"I's uiad of dat Mehbe you se
nut bin' elite coinln too? Mebbe you
see your name crossed off de member
ship book of ill Limekiln club? Mo bin)
you see Hmdiler (ilveadara Jones es
cortlu' you to de doahf Mebbe you
him drop pi d you Into a suowdrlft In
de alley r
"I I can't sactly say I does, ah,"
replied the brother. ,w
'But I does. Yes. sah. I sees all dat
In rase you make any mo' predlcshuns
aud make folks trouble You wsut to
stop dead In your tracks. ..You, kufjuw
'on IT to put on whitewash and black
stoves, but wbeu It cornea to predlc
shuns you hain't In It. You,l4-SSf 'em
aud teikd to your legitimate blsnens.
If yoo don't, den look out fur me. Go
back sud sot down, and I Jiave a few
Bonis to say to Bcnddef' Standoff Tay
lor." Brother Standoff wasn't looking for
any sudden call and had got behind (ho
stove to toko a nap. When routed out,1
be fell against tbo store sod burned
his elbow and then fell over a bench
and skinned bis nose snd both shins,
and It was some little time before be
got the proper pose. Then he heard a
deep, serious voice saying;
Warning to Brother Standoff.
"Brudder Standoff. I am told dat you
am gwlne around and lettln' tt be
known dat yoa differ with Senator
Korakerl"
"Yes, sah; I does differ wld him.''
"And dat you differ wld Governor
HuKbes?"
"Yes, sab.1
"And dat dor am a wide difference
of opinyon betwixt you and Mistah
Odelir
"Dat's so. sab."
"And dst you criticise de president's
policy In twenty-sebea different In
stances?"
"Twenty-nine, sab."
Ob, I see. Beg your pardon. Brud
der Standoff. I believe you have fur
der announced dat you and Senator
Iiepew am oat
"We don't speak, sah.'
'Too bad! Brudder Standoff, has It
occurred to you dat de rest ob de ken
try msy not be hi agreement wld you?"
"No, sah."
"Waal, let me state dat such am de
rase. We don't agree wld you at all,
sab, and we have resolved dat If you
don't keep dat moaf of yours shut
tlgbter'n a drum arter dla son thin' am
gwlne to happen to you sunthtn to
make you sick at de stumlck sun thin'
to gin you a flipflop ten feet high and
to land yon on de back of your neck
when yoa come down. All dla kentry
expects of you, Brudder Standoff, la
dst yon hold your Job In de wood yard
at 2 a day and take cars dat your
wife and chlldera nave 'nun to eat and
wear. You bear me, and I reckon
you've got sense 'nuff In your head to
take a hint and change your ways.
Dat'a all, and now we will go borne."
ti. QUAD.
These Well Meaning Friends.
The man who Inalata that you share
bis umbrella Brownings Maguslna.
Juat a Mirror.
"Miss Arts tells me," ssld Mr. Crtt
tick, "thst she does moat of ber paint
ing now on glaaa,"
"Huh!" snorted Miss Cutting. "I
guess she means with the aid of a
glass." Philadelphia Press.
The Limit.
Howell Who was the meanest man
you ever knew?
Powell One who paid with a bad
check toe doctor who attended his
innther-ln-lsw during her last Illness.
New York Frees.
Mother Ooeae Revised.
Said the apotted oow aa ah. cleared the
moon:
'Don't behave, my friend, th. nureanr
tun.
That I Jumped over the moon. Oh. no
I waa tossed by so Soto, down below."
Detroit Tribune.
HOME-MADE GUN
INJURES OWNKR.
SHERWOOD, Or., July 9. Ches
ter Martell, an Easterner, lately ar
rived and temporarily making hie
home with his brother-in-law on the
Monroe farm, six miles south of this
place, accldently shot himself Mon
day night wltb a gopher gun. Mar
tell la an expert machinist and
manufactured the gun out of a sec-
tlon of gaa pipe, which was loaded
Ith a ahotgun shell of fine shot.
Having occasion to readjust the wea
pon after It bad been located, be
grasped the hammer with bla right
hand and at the same time reached
out with his left for the bait In
front of the gun. when an explosion
followed, the ahot tearing away the
tissnea of three fingers at the first
Joint and filling the wounds with
powder. The ultimate result of his
Injuries Is conjectural, but bla eoa
ditloa la promlelng.
MAD Mm MORKTNS MAIL.
'Roses Red and
VioIetsrfilue.,
By TEMPLtSAlLET.
Ooprrlfhud, IMS. bf C. H. Sut cliff.
The waiting room In the big depart
ment atere waa in a balcony that form-
! el sort of halfway bouse between
ffflPfiret and second floors. From a
seat In one of the bulging corners one
commanded the whole sweep of busy
counters all the sparkle and glitter
and color of attractively displayed
goods.
To Jessica, nineteen, pretty and vis
iting the great city for the drat time,
It seemed like fairyland.
"I want to buy everything," she said
to Aunt Theodora Hancock, wbo bad
brought her there.
Aunt Theodora smiled Indulgently.
"All la not gold that glitters," she
said.
Jessica smiled bark. "But I like the
glitter," she said. "I never use scent
ed soap, but 1 nhall surely buy some
because of the pretty boxes, and that
pale green note paper la a dream, ol-
though I never write on anything but
white. And I am awfully drawn to
those sbiugs of glass besds, even
tbbugb I am aure that I should never
dare wear tbem in public."
But Aunt Theodora after years of
city residence was an experienced
shopper. "Beware of temptation," sbe
warned. "Come on upstairs and look
at tbe sensible things."
"I don't wsnt to be sensible," Jes
sica pleaded. "I want to stay here
and see people buying things that they
don't want for tbe mere pleasure of
buying."
Aunt Theodora hesitated.
"Do yon really want to alt here for
awhile?" ahe asked, wltb aa air of re
lief. "I could leave yen and allp np
to the grocery department and give as
order. But yon mustn't stir from this
corner, or 1 ahould never Had yoo."
"Ob, I'll stay," Jessica promised.
"You run along, Annt Theo. I aa per
fectly happy right bare."
Bo Annt Theodora took her stately
way through the crowds, and Just aa
she disappeared Jesslca'a eyes fen oa
tbe valentines.
There was a marreloos display right
In the middle of the store, and atmag
from post to post were plamp red
hearts transfixed with golden darts,
while fascinating pink eupida bobbed
and bowed with every tiny current af
air that swept through tbe store.
Jesslca'a heart gave a little throb of
delight She would buy one for Cousin
Bob. He would never know waa sent
It, and she would like to see bla eyes
aa St Valentine's morning when be
opened bis mall at tbe breakfast table.
- Without a thought of Aunt Theodora
ahe hurried downstairs to the crowded
counter.
It waa aot easy to make a eholae.
There were ao many beauties exqui
site, modern, band painted cards, with
rerses from all tbe love poets and old
fashioned valentines with old foahloa
ed rhymes.
Jesslca'a eyea rested lovingly en a
quaint affair of lace paper with a nose
gay of fat pink roses and huge violets
In the center. It waa very like one
that Cousin Bob hsd sent her when she
was a little girl, and she hod kept It
among tbe most precious of ber treas
ures. The verse, too, waa the same:
Hoses red snd violets blue,
Mr heart to you la ever true.
She smiled a little wistfully aa ahe
read. Probably Cousin Bob had forgot
ten that other valentine-had forgotten
the later days when at twenty-two be
had visited the old farm and had made
a new world for little Jessica of fifteen.
He had aeemed wonderful to ber then.
and be was still wonderful, wltb his
frank, kind ways and bis pleasant man-
But now be waa a man of tba
world, and he might marry almost any
of the beautiful women of his set
Again sbe fingered the valentine.
Why not send It?
And even while she hesitated Into the
balcony waiting room came Annt Theo
dora, escorted by a tall young man
with a frank smile.
Where has that child goner Aunt
Theodora aald blankly to ber stepson.
I told her not to stir. You'll have to
go and look for her. Bob. I'm dead
tired. It's lurks' I met yon."
"We'll wait a minute," be advised.
"She can't have gone far."
And even as he spoke Jessica hove In
eight, eyes shining, ber cheeks aa red
aa roses and In ber hand a paper pack
age. 'By Jove, she's a charming little
thing." ssld Cousin Bon. noting with
appreciation the ripple of ber hair, the
delicate oval of her face above her soft
gray furs, the becemlngness of the vis
lets is ber bat
Aunt Theodora looked at htm re
proachfully. "Well, have yon Just discovered her
attraction?" she asked. "I brought
her down here because ahe ta the sweet
est little gentlewoman I bare ever met
and I wanted to a bow yon another type
(Tom the aay young lad lee that yon
meet la society. And jtou have hardly
noticed her."
Cousla Bob laughed.
"You're a matchmaker," be teased.
"Do yon really want me to marry Jes
sica r
Aoat Theodora looked at blm scorn
fully. "I love you both." she aald.
"and rd like to leave my money to
both of yen. But you've been ao slow
making up yonr mind that noma one
may have got In ahead of yoa."
"On." began Coosia Bob. And Juat
then Jessica Joined tbem, and Ooooln
Bob instated oa taking then to a won
derful restaurant where they bad
ouch to tba soaad of innate played
uie peims, and he waa so devoted
that Jessica's beart beat high.
Tbe week that followed waa foil of
ielights and of attentions from Cousin
Bob, and It waa on 8t. Valentlne'a eve
that Aunt Theodora came Into Jesslca'a
room and found that young lady In a
pink dressing gown braiding ber shin
ing hair.
Aunt Theodora was In gray flannel,
tod her hair waa In crimping pins.
"Jess tee." sbe said solemnly aa she
sank Into a big chair, "If Bob proposes
to yoa, don't accept blm tba drat time
be asks."
Jessica its red at ber.
"Oh, A sot Theodora." (be stammered.
jiumn rf ' cu t u ) " lit love wltb
me."
Annt Theodora stiiuVd-'
"Well, he lias n-iu'lied a condition
very uiucb li'xe It." she informed ber
niece. "It il.K'nn't take Bob very long
to make r; Mia mind, anil he baa
known you for years. Hut I know him,
and he'll vr.i'e yorr love If you don't
let til in are 1; Ion ejrily."
An.l th.'n i-'Cii. tvc!:t nway, while Jes
sica silt like r. crii:n;led ruje leaf on the
foot of the brd :i:td wept.
Kor that ufii-ruoon ahe had mailed
the lai valentine to Cousin Bob. And
now If be should tcover that ahe had
sent if und ptiuuld deaplae her for
showlug ber real feeling!
She made up ber mind that be should
not dud out. and then ahe went to bed
to aleep fitfully, but through her trou
bled dreams ran tbe comforting hoiie
that Cousin Kl really loved ber.
It wne u mle little Jessica wbo came
down to tin- brcukrnst table the next
morning. Aunt Theodora was uot there.
but C'ouhln Itoti waa. He was openlug
his mall, and to bide her sgltstiuu Jes-
ilea liegun to ojieu b'.'ra. On top wiib
j great box. mid within wss a bunch
of violets and two fragrant American
Beautiea. and on a curd was written
in t'uiittln Hob' ftiuiillur writing:
Roue !'d und viol. la blue,
ily heart to you ia ever true.
K'io lookr:l i;i. und Iter eyes met bla.
In bin Ir.hfl lif held tbe valentine sbe
ti:td rent. It'.:: bin eyes were not dauc-
lug. There wua In tbctu innlead a very
teuder light.
"Jessica." be snld softly "Jessica.
Old you vend uie this?
Kctiieuibering Aunt Theodora's waru
lu. :he tried to aay "No," but ahe
was u truthful little thing.
"Yi." she wblvpered sud beut over
b?r (lower. Then she explained elab
wra'.cly: "But of course vslentlnos don't
u:cuu cuytlilug. Everybody sends lots
of tlicm.
Tbe brlcli'.ueas went out of bis fuce.
"I sent ouly one." be stated sternly
"The roses sud tbe violets spoke to me
of you. Jesrica, aud took me back to
tbe versea I eeul you when L was a
little led. And I meant every word of
It. Will yon marry me. Jessica?"
The proposal enme so suddenly that
it found ber all unprepared. Her heart
pounded msdly. 8be forgot Aunt Theo
dora. Sbe forgot everything bnt that
he loved ber.
"Yea," she whispered as ahe beard
ber aunt'a step upon the stairs.
And the beauty of It," was the wsy
Cousin Bob upset Aunt Theodora's Bnt
theorlea when that Bight be told her of
their engagement "vine ber girlish
a. A woman of tbe world would
have held me off, but It waa ber sweet
surrender that won me. I was sore
be loved me from the A rat"
A BIT TOO SHREWD.
One Venture In Whleh trie Captain
Overreached Himself.
One of Uncle Sam's customs officials.
boted for bla success In unmasking
smugglers, enld the other day In a dis
cussion of a onstoms oncer's duties:
'One must be shrewd, but not too
brewd; otherwise one overreaches
oneself, like Captain Harrow of lates-
borough.
"Captain Harrow of lslesborougb
was trading at Key West ra a small
vessel. Business took blni up tbecoaiit
to Tampa buy, und' he bought twenty
dozeu chickens from a , farmer at S4 a
dozen.
The cbickcua were all alxea eooie a
few da; i old and no bigger than ca
nary birds; some fat and large, like
turkey gobblers. Tbe captain expect
ed to make a lot of money out of
them. He was very shrewd at a trade
Well, at Key West a hotel man
came -aboard and looked the chickens
over.
" They are fine birds,' be said. 'How
muchV
'If you pick them out yourself.'
said Captaiu Harrow shrewdly. Til
have lo charge you SO a doseu. If I
pick them out. I can let you bave tbem
for t:!.'
'All right You pick tbem out' said
the hotel mnu.
"Captain Harrow picked out a doeeil
chickens of the canary bird size.
'Here you are, twelve prime broil
ers,' he said, wltb a leer.
Go ahead.' said the hotel man calm
ly; 'another dozen.'
'The next dozen was of necessity
larger.
'Go on,' said the hotel man. 'Keep
on picking them out'
And the third dozen was larger still.
The captain looked at bis patron anx
iously.
"'Keep right on.
"The next dozen was fine and plump.
and the next comprised the biggest
and fattest of the chickens.
'Keep right on picking tbem out.
captsin.'
"Then at last Captain Harrow saw
how he had overreached himself. The
hotel men bought bis whole lot of
chickens at 13, and thns the captain
lost on the speculation 120 In cash, to
say nothing of feed and labor." Cin
cinnati Enquirer,
Chamberlain's Colic, Cholera and
Diarrhea Remedy Would Have
Saved Him lOO.Ov.
"In 1908 I had a very severe at
tack of diarrhea," says R. N.. Fer
rer of Cat Island, La. "For several
weeks I was unable to do anything
On March 18, 1907, I had a similar
attack, and took Chamberlain's Colic,
Cholera and Diarrhea Remedy, which
gave me prompt relief. I consider It
one of the best medicines of Its kind
In the world, and Bad I used It In
190J I believe It would have saved
me a hundred dollar doctor bill."
Sold by Charles Strang.
- Boy'a Life Saved.
My little boy, 4 years old, had a
severe attack of dysentery. We had
two physicians, both of them gave
him up. We then gave him Cham
berlain's Colic, Cholera and Diarrhea
Itemed)-, which cured him and be
lieve that saved my life. William
H. Strollng. Carbon Hill, Ala. There
Is no doubt but this remedy saves the
Uvea of many children each year.
Give It with castor oil according to
the plain printed directions and a
cure la certain. For aale by Charles
Strong.
Anne's Way of
Winning.
By MARTHA COBB SAN FORD.
Copyrighted. IKS, by Jessie Morgan.
Young Mrs. Maxwell waa In tears.
All ber happy plsns were overturned,
snd Just because a faithless maid had
failed to put In an apiiearance. It waa
ouly history domestic history repeat
ing Itself, but Mrs. Maxwell was too
newly msrried to look upon tbe mis
fortune In the Hgbt of anything but a
purely personal affliction.
Her husband found her disconsolate
ly stirring ths cereal for breakfast,
while the hot tears ran unheeded down
ber flushed cheeks.
"Aren't you afraid tbe oatmeal will
be a little too salty, sweetbesrtr" he
asked Jovlslly, at the same time k Us
ing away a few of the salty drops from
her eyelids.
"now can you Joke, Bob?" she gasp
ed between sobs that now burst out
afresh. "Sbe sbe didn't come."
"Wbo? Bridget? Well, never mind,
dearest; thut's a trick they all play. I
don't care what we have for break
fast." "But Mr. Cabot does, la he up yet?"
"Not Jack! He eleepa and sleeps ou
Sunday mornings. And he won't care
if we skip breakfast altogether. You
don't know blm as well aa I do, Koran.
You see. I roomed with him two yearn
when I was a bachelor. He'a the
best natured fellow living present
compsuy excepted. If he wasn't 1
would never bave consented to this
three cornered loving cup. Here, bsnd
me a spoon, dear! I'll make tbe cof
fee." Tbe "three cornered loving cup" was
an arrangement by which the Max
wella bad agreed to let Bob's chum.
Jack Cabot share their cosy apartment
and take breakfast with them, thus
giving them tbe pleasure of using his
piano and the luxury of keeping a
maid. It bad seemed tbe rosiest
scheme Imaginable, but heboid It on
tbe very first morning after Jack'a ar
rival, shattered dtscoursglugly!
In the midst of Bob and Norsh's
Joint preparations for breakfast tba
doorbell rang unexpectedly.
"Sbc'a come!" exclaimed Norah tri
umphantly as sbe rushed breathlessly
to the door. Bob stood on the kitchen
threshold, listening.
"Oh. It's you." be beard Norah aay
in a tone of numlstakablo disappoint
ment "Well, Is that all tbe welcome I get?"
responded a cheery young voice.
"I thought you were the cook." was
Norsh's half apologetic, half laughing
reply. j
"Hello, Anne M orris !"-eslled Bob hos
pitably from tbe kitchen. "Stay and
have breakfast with us."
"Breakfast!" returned Anne, pretend
ing to be shocked. "YjSU lazy, laxy
people! Wby. I'm out for my morn
ing constitutional. Boarder arrived?"
ahe asked mischievously.
"Ob, yea," anawered Norah resign
edly. "Mr. Cabofa here, of course, but
not a sign of tbe cook."
"Look here," suggested Anne sud
denly. "I'm a dandy cook and engage
to get your breakfast on the spot.
And without waiting for approval or
Invitation she began to toss off ber
coat and bat.
"Oh, dear!" said Norah flatteringly.
Mr. Cabot Is coming. I beard bla
door open. Hurry. Anne!"
Once in tbe kitchen Anne rolled up
her shirt waist sleeves and arrayed
herself In one of Norah'a compreben
alve gingham aprons.
Now, you both skiddoo!" she com
manded. "Just leave everything to me.
Tbe Idea of a bride and groom getting
breakfast for a boarder!"
Norah'a greetlac to "tbe boarder'
when ahe reached tbe living room waa
most cordial.
"Good morning, Mr. Cabot. Yoa
elept well apparently. Bob and I bave
been up tbia long time."
"I hope you didn't keep breakfast
waiting. Mrs. Maxwell. Did yonr
maid put In an early appearance?"
"No; she didn't come come as early
aa I expected. But breakfast Is ready
now."
Anne, becomingly decked In frilly
cap and apron, served the grape fruit
Irreproachably. When she hsd left tbe
dining room Bob cleared his throat
and ventured a comment.
"Fairly good looking, isn't ahe?"
Jack looked up absentmlndedly from
his paper. "Mrs. Maxwell?" he Inquir
ed. "Of course. Bob; of conrse!"
"I was sneaking of the maid," Bob
corrected, his tone Indicative of wound
ed feelings.
Oh. I didn't notice. Will be more
observing next time.
Aad he was. In fact, so observing
was he thnt Anna became quite em
barrassed, and Bob and Norah with
difficulty kept their faces straight
'She's a pencil. Mrs. Maxwell!" Jack
exclaimed after Anne's second disap
pearance "Where did yon And her?
She seems decidedly above the ordinary
type."
"Oh, she first dropped In," replied
Norah casually, "and asked for the
place."
"Well, you've got treasure. I hope
ahe won't prove too corky for her posi
tion."
Breakfast over, the men lingered at
the table to smoke and read their pa
pers, Anne meanwhile clearing away
the dishes. When a second time Jack
looked np and caught Bob smiling at
the waitress In aa ontrageonaly flirts
tlooa manner, he could stand It so
longer.
'Bob." he remonstrated as soon aa
Aaae waa ant of sight "this will oarer
do la the world. Why, old man, yoa
can't keep a servant at all if yea eon-
sscend ta itrt wltb bar. What aodar
:be canopy are yon thinking about?"
I II reform." promised Bob meekly.
1 Just thought If we Jollied her slomg
I Mt perhaps she'd be more contented."
"Thst'a a very week btaff, Bob, and
is the meats), moral and matrimonial
tdvlrer of this happy home I must In
dst on yonr Ignoring tbe presence at
he maid altogether."
"But you'll be making ayes at bar
roureelf la less than a week." Bob rw-
arted. "If we're fortunate eooogh to
terp ber that long."
Jack shrugged bla snooMen.
"1 might like to. but I have more
diarretloB." he replied arnteatleaafy. i
Ready ones."
On tbe other side of the dining room
door, doubled up with laughter, stood
Auue and Norub plotting tbe downfall
f the "discreet bachelor."
"No; he Juat takes breakfast with
ar." whispered Noruh.
"Then I'm coming over to wait on
the table every morning." whispered
Anne.
"You can't." objected Norah, "be
cause on week days be breakfasts be
fore we do. He has to start Into town
earlier than Hob doea."
"Mo much the better." giggled Anne.
Tbe arrangement worked out smooth
ly enough for the next three mornings.
Jack aud Anne get on capitally to
gether, but all In quite a discreet and
proper way of course.
On the fourth morning, however, as
Anne trlpiied uuletly out of the dining
room after servlug blm. Jack looked
np Just In time to catch her reflection
in the sideboard mirror as sbe, uncon
scloua of this betrayal, blew him nn
audacious kiaa from the tips of ber
Angers.
It gave Jack a thrill that somehow,
for a little thing, upset tbe equilibrium
of his worksday world to a most re
'merksble degree. Nevertheless on the
following day. for reaaons best kuon-n
to herself, Anne cbose to be haughty.
8he ueglected to bring blm bla cream
for bis coffee and tbe sirup for bis
wsflles. He was obliged to ring for
har several times. Each time she wqk
haughtier than tbe lant and once,
through that same transparent go-be
tween, he distinctly saw her make up
a face at blm. It was such a comical
little face that he nearly laugbed out
right But he checked himself and de
cided to try a course of discipline in
stead. "Anne," be said, and his voice sound
ed almost stern, "I want you to dust
tbe piano keya. Yon may do It now.
They were so dnaty last night It wss
agony to play on tbem."
Anne stared at him a moment In un
concealed astonishment, then floum-ed
Into tbe kitchen, Tbe next moment sh.
flaunted back again, ostentatiously
flspplng a dust cloth.
At tbe first awful discordant crash
that followed close upon ber disap
pearance Jack gritted his teeth and
held oa to bis clislr. At the second he
got up aad walked determinedly Into
the living room.
"If you could, be a little more care
ful." he suggested Icily.
Anne shot him an Inscrutable look
from the corner of ber eye, oat down
after a flourish of the piano stool and
began to daah off o Chopin waits wltb
a brilliancy of touch that left Jack
speechless with astonishment.
After sbe hsd struck the last fori Is
slmo chord she remained motionless,
her hands resting on the keys.
Jack came toward her until be stood
looking down upon ber.
"Who are you?" he asked Anally,
"girl or witch or goddess'"
Anae .covered her blushing cheeks
wltb her bands.
Jack tried to take them down again,
but she would not let him.
"It makes no difference wbo you are,
Anne," be aald at length huskily.
"You need not tell me. All that mat
ters Is that I love you, and all that I
want to know ia do you"
But Anne had run uway from huu.
She ran atraigbt Into Norah, who waa
coming down tbe ball.
"Why, Anne Morris!" Norah exclaim
ed. "What Is the matter?"
For s newer Anne pulled off her min
iature headgear and her ruffled apron
and said laconically, "Introduce me."
Then Norah guessed and, holding
Anne'a hand In a tight little squeeze,
went back with her to the living room.
"Mr. Cabot." she began dramatically,
forgetting to aay good morning, "I
want you to know my very dear friend,
Anne Morris. Anne, this hi Mr. Jack
Cabot a bachelor friend of my hus
band's. Oh." sbe added, stooping just
long eaoogto to note tbe mingled con
sternation and Joy upon Jack'a counte
nance, "I Just must go and tell Bob."
"Tell htm what?" flashed Anne. Bat
Norah had disappeared.
"Caa't yoo guess?" pleaded Jack,
holding out his arms to her. "Isn't It
going to be true what Norah tells
Bob?"
Anne let bis arms close about ber.
"I'm awfully afraid I've spoiled yoa,"
whispered Anne roguishly.
"Don't yoa worry about that" laugh
ed Jack. "But this time I'm going to
get the kiss that I saw In the mirror.
Anne protested, but he got It
Sixteenth Century 8urflry.
Surgery In the sixteenth century was
by no means tbe refined and gently
humane science of the present day.
Anaesthetics and antiseptics were un
known, and tbe operating theater was
often Just where tbe poor patient fell.
In one of tbe many battles In which
the flghtlng Duke of Guise engaged he
was knocked down by an arrow from
the enemy's ranks, which pierced his
head between the nose snd one of tbe
eyes. rare, the famous French sur
geon, was on- the Aold, and be immedi
ately put his foot on tbe duke's face
and drew the arrow out by sheer brute
force. The operation tocoBvenleaced
the duke somewhat but he survived it
tnd Hved ta be assoaslnated.
BIO LAND SALE AT CONDON.
McMarphy of Eugene Pays fSS,.
800 for Wheat Ranch.
CONDON, Or., July 10. Two of
the biggest land deals made here for
several months were effected this
week by E. Curran and J. O. Elrod.
One of the buyers is R. McMurphy
of Eugene, who takes possession of
the Skelly ranch, altuated one mile
north of town, for the conatderatlon
of $28,800. The ranch is well culti
vated and la now rented to William
Ebbert and Is all In crop, one-third of
which went to the purchaser. Tbe
other ranch was tbe Wester place,
near Clem, was hougnt by S. C. Dod
son of this city for the consideration
of 128,400.
The prices paid for tba ranches
demonstrate that Gilliam county land
s valuable and that the wheat Inter
ests have not received o crashing
blow on account of reports of poor
crops In some sections of the county.
For sole-Aa aieallaat aoallteof
brick la aa auaaft. a. W.Prid.
yd. Medford. Oragr-a.
; :::i.
Now that Mr. Bryan - as boea aom
Inated at Denver, with Jonn W. Kirn
aa a running mate, what will be the
chances of the ticket? .o one out
side of Denver seriously believes that
Mr. Kern will draw sufficient votus
In the East to swing any state to the
Democratic column. Such an attempt
Is doomed to failure beforehand. Mr.
Bryan himself Is said to look upon
New York, New Jersey, Connecticut
and other Eastern states aa boneless, .
and in this view be displays more po
litical sagacity than In other direc
tions. He hopes, however, to make -headway
In the Middle West, where
the spirit of radicalism Is supposed
to be rampant. But cun he carry .
enough of those states to make even
a respectable showing against the Re
publican ticket?
In 1904 Roosevelt carried the en- -
tire North and West, Including one
vote In Maryland. Parker carried
Kentucky, which may be reckoned a
doubtful state thla year. With this
exception, all the states carried by
Parker were In the South His total
electoral vote was 140, against 336
cast for Roosevelt. This year Okla
homa Is added to the electoral col
umn, making a total of 4S3 electoral
votes, of which the successful candi
date must have at least 242. Mr.
Bryan will have to capture 142 votea
more than Parker received in order -to
be elected. Where will be get
them?
Mr. Tatt could give Mr. Bryan the
electoral votes of New York, Indiana,
New Jersey and Illinois and still
carry the election. Or, he could con
cede Missouri, Kentucky, Maryland.
Nebraska, Wisconsin, Kansas, Okla
homa and Indiana and still win by a
handsome majority. If Taft should
carry the East he could afford to face
a remarkable slump In the Middle
West before being in real danger.
The Republicans, however, by no
means concede any state in tbe Mid
dle West, and there la no good rea
son appearing at this time wby they
should do so. The Chicago conven
tion had an opportunity to vote on
e radical propositions offered by
Wisconsin, at the instigation of Mr.
La Follette, and they were snowed
under by a vote of about 10 to 1.
These votea were cast by Middle Wes
tern delegates, among others. There
was not evident In the Chicago con
vention any of the obstreperous rad
icalism that would cause Republl
cana to desert their party and sup
port Bryan. If they do not, Bryan
cannot carry these states, for they
are all normally Republican. In or
der to defeat Taft he must not only
hold the full Democratic vote, but he
must draw from his opponent a very
large proportion of Republican votes.
This could only be done through o
widespread disaffection, amounting
almost to a political revolution. There
la nothing whatever to Indicate that
Middle Western Republicans are In
such a frame of mind. While the
Denver convention adopted Mr.
Bryan 'a radical platform with a wl'd
hurrah, and went forth enthusiasti
cally believing that the Middle West
will support It, the fact remains thit
the Middle West Is not excited at a. I,
and promises to remain. Republican
TO TRY HERMANN.
PORTLAND, July 10. It is denied
persistently by federal authorities
here that Blnger Hermann, ex-congressman
from this state, will not
be tried for his alleged complicity In
the Oregon land frauds. In the ab
sence of 'Francis J. Heney, wbo re
turned the Indictment against Her
mann, and Tracy C. Becker, special
assistant to the attorney-general,
who has been assigned to prosecute
the pending laud fraud cases. Thomas
B. Neuhauaen, special Inspector of
the interior department, announced
yesterday that the Hermann trial
would be taken up either during the
month of October or not later than
November.
Mr. Neuhauaen explained that Mr.
Heney had planned to try the case
against Mr. Hermann in September
anad said that the poatponement of
the case until the following month
or perhaps ater, was made only at
the request of A. 8. Worthlngton.
of counsel for Mr. Hermann, who ad
vised the government authoritiea
that he would not be ready to pro
ceed with the trial In September
John M. Gearin, ex-United States
senator, of this city, will be chief
counsel for Hermann when the trlaT-
Is held. Associated with him will be
Mr. Worthlngton and H. Prescott
Gatley, the latter being a son-lnlaw
of the accused ex-congressman. It
Is declared positively that Mr. He
ney will return to this state and pros
ecute Mr. Hermann personally.
Since the acquittal of James Hen
ry Booth the first of the "Heney
cases" In which the government bos
been defeated It haa been rumored
that Mr. Heney might return to this
state and conduct the prosecution of
all of the untried land fraud cases.
If Mr. Heney haa ony such Intention,
however, he haa not confided them to
the federal officials here, wbo pro
fess to hare no knowledge of auch o
program. The supposition that Mr,
Heney might take a hand In these
cases arose partly from the fact that
Tracy C. Becker, who conducted tha
prosecution of the Booth cane, is now
In San Francisco conferring with He
ney. Twenty-fire Cents Is the Price !
Peace.
The terrible Itchlna and sma.iin.
incident to certain skin diseases, is
almost Instantly allayed by applying
Chamberlain's Salve. Priea at i.
k.l.V.
Far aale by Chattel Stfaig.
After aN. wt aid bachelors are ta