8B — THE OBSERVER & BAKER CITY HERALD
THuRSDAY, MAY 21, 2020
COFFEE BREAK
History of addiction clouds dad’s future with daughters
DEAR ABBY: My fiancee has
two daughters (14 and 11) from
a previous marriage. Their dad,
“Brett,” was just arrested for his
fourth DUI, the second within a
year. The girls don’t
trust him anymore,
and their image of
him has changed
greatly.
We have always
encouraged the girls
to stay with their dad on “his”
days, but when they do, Brett
rarely does anything with them,
and he berates them.
I know he misses his girls,
and his siblings have told us the
girls need to get past this because
“tomorrow is not guaranteed.”
I understand. I live my life
on that premise. But if Brett
isn’t willing to change, then why
should we continue to encourage
his being in their lives? He
cares only about his image, not
the actual relationship with his
daughters.
He has a his-
tory with drugs and
DEAR
alcohol, and in the
last 12 months, he
ABBY
has been fired from
three different jobs.
This is not the role
model the girls need. I know
I’m not their father, but it kills
me seeing them hurt. Should
we encourage them to still visit
him? Or do we let them decide?
I’m a soon-to-be stepfather who
wants only what is best for the
girls.
— PARENTING IN THE
MIDWEST
DEAR PARENTING: When
there is a divorce with chil-
dren involved, custody arrange-
ments are usually dictated by the
court. Your fiancee’s daughters
may not have much choice but to
visit their father on “his” days.
That said, the custody arrange-
ment can be altered if it becomes
necessary.
I agree that someone with four
DUIs is not a great role model,
and he could be a danger to them
if he is still allowed to drive.
Encourage the girls to keep
you informed of what transpires
during their visits with their
father. I disagree with the rela-
tives who say they must get past
their father’s neglect and verbal
abuse.
DEAR ABBY: I have three sis-
ters. We are all in our 50s and
60s. Three of us get along great
and always have, but we have all
had issues with our oldest sister,
“Lulu.” She has gotten angry at
us for many different reasons.
When our father was ter-
minally ill, she wanted one of
us to live with him in his home
even though we thought it was
enough that we were in the same
small town and went over there
daily. Also, Lulu is a widow and
not financially secure, and she
feels we have not helped her out
enough.
There have been times we have
gotten along wonderfully, but
sadly, it always ends in drama.
I miss her regardless of the
drama, but she seems to have
written us off. She is convinced
that she is right, and we are bad
for her.
Must I learn to accept this
and move on? Or should I try
to make it right? My youngest
sister wants nothing to do with
her. She says Lulu is bad for her
mental health. Can you help me
to finally resolve this one way or
the other?
— DYSFUNCTIONAL IN NEW
JERSEY
DEAR DYSFUNCTIONAL:
You are not responsible for Lulu’s
financial woes. Let her know you
are there for her, but cannot help
support her financially.
I’m sorry you didn’t mention
whether she has a job. If she
doesn’t, she needs to find one to
supplement her income. Unless
you are willing to cave to emo-
tional blackmail and supplement
your sister’s income for the rest
of her life (or yours), accept that
it may be time to move on.
Judge rules salvage firm can recover Titanic’s telegraph machine
By Ben Finley
Associated Press
NORFOLK, Va. — A
federal judge in Virginia
has ruled a salvage firm
can retrieve the Marconi
wireless telegraph machine
that broadcast distress calls
from the sinking Titanic
ocean liner.
In an order released
Monday, U.S. District Judge
Rebecca Beach Smith
agreed the telegraph is his-
torically and culturally
important and soon could
be lost within the rapidly
decaying wreck site.
Smith wrote that recov-
ering the telegraph “will
contribute to the legacy
left by the indelible loss of
the Titanic, those who sur-
vived, and those who gave
their lives in the sinking.”
Smith is the maritime
jurist who presides over
Titanic salvage matters
from a federal court in Nor-
folk. Her ruling modifies a
previous judge’s order from
the year 2000 that forbids
cutting into the shipwreck
or detaching any part of it.
Smith’s order is a big
Photo by Angie Wang/Associated Press
In this Feb. 18 photo, artifacts recovered from the Titan-
ic sit on shelves at a storage facility in Atlanta. A federal
judge in Virginia has ruled a salvage firm can retrieve the
Marconi wireless telegraph machine that broadcast dis-
tress calls from the sinking Titanic ocean liner.
win for RMS Titanic
Inc., the court-recognized
steward of the Titanic’s arti-
facts. The firm recently
emerged from bankruptcy
and is under new owner-
ship. The Titanic had been
traveling from England to
New York when it hit an
iceberg and sank in 1912,
killing all but about 700 of
the 2,208 passengers and
crew.
The National Oceanic
and Atmospheric Admin-
istration, which represents
the public’s interest in the
wreck site, fiercely opposes
the mission. NOAA argued
in court documents that
the telegraph is likely sur-
rounded “by the mortal
remains of more than 1,500
people,” and should be left
alone.
The company said it
plans to exhibit the ship’s
telegraph with stories of the
men who tapped out dis-
tress calls to nearby ships
“until seawater was literally
lapping at their feet.”
“The brief transmissions
sent among those ships’
wireless operators, staccato
bursts of information and
emotion, tell the story of
Titanic’s desperate fate that
night: the confusion, chaos,
panic, futility and fear,” the
company wrote in court
filings.
The proposed expedition
also has been controversial
among some archaeological
and preservation experts,
and the firm may face more
legal battles before salvage
vehicles can descend nearly
2.5 miles to the bottom of
the North Atlantic.
NOAA says the expe-
dition is prohibited under
federal law and an interna-
tional agreement between
the United States and the
United Kingdom. Those
restrictions emerged in the
years after the court’s 2000
order.
In her ruling, Smith
acknowledged NOAA’s
arguments. But she said the
only matter before the court
was the previous order
made by the judge who pre-
ceded her.
She wrote that NOAA
is not a formal party in
the case. And she said her
ruling does not address
the constitutionality of the
agency’s “claimed authority
to wield approval power
and control over salvage
operations.”
Smith also wrote that
the firm’s plan for the expe-
dition meets most require-
ments set forth in the inter-
national agreement and
other restrictions. Those
include justifying the expe-
dition on scientific and cul-
tural grounds and consid-
ering potential damage to
the wreck site.
The firm submitted a
60-page plan to retrieve the
telegraph, which is believed
to still sit in a deck house
near the doomed ocean lin-
er’s grand staircase.
The company said an
unmanned submersible
would slip through a sky-
light or cut the heavily cor-
roded roof to retrieve the
radio. A “suction dredge”
would remove loose silt,
while manipulator arms
could cut electrical cords.
But Ole Varmer, a retired
NOAA attorney and a
senior fellow at The Ocean
Foundation, said a salvage
mission into the Titanic’s
hull faces legal issues.
Chief among them is a
long-held belief that the two
pieces of the ship’s hull on
the ocean floor constitute
a memorial site that should
stay undisturbed, he said.
Varmer said that belief
guided the initial business
plan of the salvage firm’s
original owner, George
Tulloch, and his interpre-
tation of the 1986 Titanic
Memorial Act. He said it
then informed the court’s
order in 2000 and was
incorporated into the inter-
national agreement and sub-
sequent legislation.
“The public interest in not
disturbing the hull portions
as part of a memorial was
established more than three
decades ago,” Varmer said.