The Oregon mist., March 17, 1905, Image 4

That
Tired Feeling
Is Common Spring Trouble.
It's a i-gn that (he blood it deficient
tn vitality, jmst as pimples snd other
eruptions are sign that the blood
is impure.
It's warninj, too, which only ths
hazardous diil to heed.
Hood's Sarsaparilla
end Pitts
remove H, give new life, new eour
age, strength and animation.
They cleanse tlio blood and clear th
complexion.
Accept no substitute.
I felt tired all tlx time anil could not
Sleep. Alter taking Hood'i Sarsaparilla
a while I could sleep well and Um tired
fcellng had tuna. Thl treat medicine baa
alio cured me of scrofula.' Ma. C. M.
EooT, Olluad, Conn.
Hood's Sarsaparilla promises t
curs and keeps the promise.
Th Man with the Ho! Ho!
t lore the ringing of music of a cheery,
heart; lunch.
For it routs Hie imps of worry as the
brees'V scatter chaff.
And there's uot a scene of gladness
known to mortals here helow
But Is ma.le a little gladder by a merry
ho! bol ho!
I'or mrrriuicnt's a singer, and laughter
is his song.
And where the singer singclh the 'aappy
angel throug.
Tor in all celestial anthems nothing
sweeter is. I trow.
Than the melody that lures in a ho! ho'
ho! ho! ho!
You are feeling rather weary 'tis an oft
recorded tale
And you fancy trouble's demons all are
camping on your trail.
Till you meet the man of laughter, with
his cheery ho! ho! ho!
And, some way, as you liMen, all the
haunting demons go!
Then yon row this old plauet is a place
of joy and cheer.
And there's pleasure in reflecting that
you now are living here
Aud you wouldn't for a fortune lose your
grip on thing below
Ail because yu hear the music of a
ringing ho! ho! bo!
Twe angels walk npon the earth, walk
daily to and fro.
Tie one is clad in robes of white, the
one in garb of woe.
The roice of one is laughter; the other's
is a sigh.
Joy is the one: the other woe; for souls
of men they Tie;
And the one comes running, running.
summoned by the witching spell
Of the rippling notes of laughter that
the spirit's rapture tell;
While the other straight is driven from
the souls it haunts below
By the ringing and the singing of a ho!
ho! ho! ho! ho!
We all lore the music of a cheery, hearty
laugh
To spirits bowed with trouble 'ti a
bearen-giren staff
But our burdens seem so heavy as we
pass them in reriew
That we often let another do the laugh
ing we should do:
At any rate, it's so with me, for I'm
of brittle clay.
And haply it is so with you, although I
do not say;
And so. perchance, you'll join with me,
this one bouquet to throw
To the man who brings us blessings with
hi ho! ho! ho! bo! ho!
Xew York Time.
Bound in Keep the Girl.
Sir. Suburb I think Mrs. Lawnmow
must hare a girl at last.
Mr. Suburb Why?
Mrs. Suburb I hear her tiring soma
en a lesson on the piano.
The Masculine View.
She A married couple should pull to
gether like a team of horses.
He They probably would if like a
team of horses they had but one tongue
between them.
Hi Busy Season.
The Judge What was your idea for
breaking into the hous during the day!
The Burglar I had another engage
ment for the evening, your honor.
It's easy 6nding reasons why other
folks ahould be patient. George Eliot.
A goose which dance in clogs Is a
curiosity on exhibition in London.
Columbus, Ohio, May 20, 1903.
Six years ago I had a severe attack of
Inflammatory Rheumatism. I was laid up
in bed for six months, and the doctors I
had did me no good. They changed med
icines every week and nothing they pro
scribed seemed to help me. Finally I be
fan the use of S.S.S. My knee and elbow
joint were swollen terribly, and at one
time my joints were so swollen and pain
ful that I could not close them when
opened. I wss so bad that I conld not
move knee or foot. I was getting discour
aged, you may be sure, when I bcan S. S.
S., but as I saw it was helping me I con tin.
ned it, and to-day I am sound well man
and have never had a return of the disease.
S. S. S. purified my blood and cured me
of this severe case of Rheumatism sites
everything else had failed. I have re
commended it to others with good r
suha. R. H. Chapkax.
355 ML Vernon Ave.
The poisonous acids that produce the In
6 animation and rain are absorbed into the
blood and Rheumatism can never be con
quered till these are neutralized and fil
tered out of the blood and system. S. S. &
goes directly into the circulation and at
tack the disease iUelf . It purifies and re
stores the blood to a healthy, vigorous
condition. It contains no potash, alkali of
oilier strong min
erals, but is euar
anteed entirely
vegetable. Writ
ns and our physi
cians will advise
without any
charge whatever.
Our book on Rheu
matism sent free.
Tie Swift Spaolflo Company, Atlanta, 6a,
"jat
MM HUM AU ILU tAUS.
Coufk arrup. 1'iM Uood. Da
IB tuns. md by druggists.
5Km
Humorous I
Th derrick lan't handsome, but It
ha an uplifting Influence. Philadel
phia Record.
Father (from too of atalrca)
Ethel, I that young man tone? Ethel
Awful funny, pa, -Writ.
"Do you think Bank ever fooled his
wife uecefHlly?" "I know It He
married her." Itrolt Free Pre.
"What I worn than owing money
you can't pay?" "Being owed money
you ceo't collect." Of vela nd liedger.
MI8nowflk What did Jim Jc
on git nirrled for? Mies Whtub-
Uwd only know he keep rignt on
workln'! Puck.
She Do you think that a woman
ti-ulv love but once? He Well,
If that' the only chance he h ye!
Detroit Pre lres.
"Papa, will you end m to Europe
to ttidy music?" "No: you can tudy
It here, and I'll end you to Kurep te
practice." Houston Post.
"Never tell a secret, dear. It would
h a great breach of confidence."
What must I do with It. mamma?"
Well bring It to me!" Madame,
Father But do you think you can
make my daughter happy? Suitor
Happy! Sy. you honld Jut have
seen her when I proposed! Brooklyn
Life.
Mamma Ion't lounge that way.
Tommy. Sit up Ilk a mm. Tommy
Why, mamma, men lit down; It's only
dog and rabbit that lt up. Phila
delphia Pre.
Te spout Why are you o angry
with 'the doctor? Mrs. Teaspout
When I told him I had a terrible tired
feeling he told me to how him my
tongue. Exchange.
Hoax They ay the ultan of Tur
key scare hia wive Dearly to death.
Joax Yes; I've alway heard that h
was a harem e rem sort of fellow.
Philadelphia Record.
Bmlggs There goe a man who ha
done much to arouse the people.
Smagg Great tabor agitator, eh?
Smlggs No; manufacturer of alarm
clock. "hleago Ledger.
Mrs. Henpeck Thl paper y that
married women lire longer thau lugl
one. Mr. Henpeck Heavens, wom
an! Can't you think of onjethlng
Pleasant to talk about? Borrowed.
Freda He claim to be related to
rou. and say he can prove It. t loya
Belated to me? Why that mans a
fool. Freda Of course, but that may
be a mere coincidence. Illustrated
Bits.
Mrs. Hayrlx Them lr Japs must
be kinder hard up for omethin' tew
read. Hayrlx Why o. Maudy? Mr.
Hayrlx Thl paper says they went
an' took a lot uv Russian magailnes.
Exchange.
Nervoua Old Lady (on eventh floor
of hotel) Do you know what precau
tion th proprietor of the bote! has
taken agalnat Are? Porter Yea. mum;
he ha the place Insboored for twice
wot It's worth. Plmburg Gazette.
Frenrled Finance: The Farmer lex
.ttt sav Mlater C'onatubble. I've
jest bin bunkered out uv every dura
:ent! The Policeman (imtnptyi " en,
don't holler to me, you come-on! 1
ain't no magaxine publisher! Puck.
Mr. Watkyn Henry. 1 want dol
lar thl morning. Mr. Witkyn Gret
Caear. woman! Do you think that I
am made of money? When you want
large amount you ought to let me
know 24 hour in advance Somer
vllle Journal.
Irate Employer See here, you young
Rip Van Wrnkle. I only hired you yes
terday; and 1 believe, on my soul,
you've been asleep around here ever
ilnce! Sleepy Joe That what I
though you wished. lr. Here' your
drrtlament: "Wanted An office
boy, not over 18; must sleep on the
premise. New Orleans 1 imes Dem
ocrat.
FTh that Chance Color.
Aneler have noticed that flh 0. th
same species caught In the same
stream often differ completely in color
and tak protective hoe that mtch
the prevlllng local coloring of their
homes. Herr Otto Gotthllf found by
a course of experiments with turbota
that thl faculty or changing color is
primarily due to the action of light
upon the optic nerve. The light does
not act directly upon the eye. but la
reflected from uch substance as are
around and affect the coloring cells
through the nerve center of the flsh.
Proof of this wa obtained by sever
ing the optic nerv of the turbot. when
It wa found that it no longer pos
sessed the power of changing color.
Pearson'.
Wedding Anniversaries.
According to the tradition of ages,
there are 14 wedding anniversaries to
be celebrated. These are: First year,
cotton; second year, paper; third year,
leather; fifth year, wooden; eventh
year, woolen; tenth year, ttn: twelfih
h e silk and fine linen: fifteenth vear.
, . .
crystal; twentieth year, china; twenty.
fifth year, sliver; miroein year, pean:
fortieth year, ruby; fiftieth year, gol
den; seventy-ftfth year, diamond.
Boxed.
Tbey were returning from a husking
bee.
"And were there auy red ears?"
asked the friend.
"Ob, yes." responded the girl in tht
gingham dress. "I had two when p
caught that city fellow kissing me."
Kennebec (Me.) Journal.
Much the Easier Task.
"Miry, my love, thing are so beast
ly bad, don't you think you might ban
a try at making your own clothes?'
"O George, pet. I don't think I'm
clever enough for that, but I'll tell
you what; I'll have a try at miking
yours?" Modern Society.
If .you can't go to call on a friend
without finding a clue, itav at home.
If you can't walk np street without
seeing a clue, throw yourself Into th
river. Th world would be brtter off
with every suspicious-minded person
out or it, and ne soouiau t watt nil
fh Ice on the river melts, either.
TONS Of PRINTING FOR FARMER.
Agriculture department Publication
Maaaber 12,4ai,:t la a lear.
A young memlw of the Chicago
bar who recently bought n small farm
tn Illinois for the purpose of going
Into the agricultural buslueew along '!
entitle line a a side Issue wrote to
bis member of Congress asking hint to
forward all publication of the Agri
cultural Department which might aid
him In hi aim. The Congressman be
gan to end him document by the
aokful ten day ago mid be la atlll
sending tliem. The would-h farmer
ha onter to keep hi hired man at
the country postnffle each day for
some time yet to come.
While thl U a facetious Illustration
af the work of the Agricultural De
partment, It cau I atnttsl without
fear of contradiction that one of th.1
highest compliments paid the efflclouey
jf till department la the constant and
rrowlng demand for It publication all
jver the country, write I.eroy T. Ver
non in the 1'hlcwg" I"11. News. In
recent year the agricultural year
books have come to be considered real
work of art and a not of them from
the beginning a highly prised addition
to any library.
The enormity of this printing work
by the department can Iw lwt under
stood by the figure from the printing
lepirtntent. lst year lTJ different
publications were turned out by the
Jepartment, of which :t?A wnbracliu
K.iss) pages, were altaolnlely new mat
ter. The total number of oople of
ill publication lssne.1 during the year
was 12.42l,.tSd and the total number
rf requisition was 4.r.'. or more than
fifteen separate piece of work for ev
ery working day of the your. This
represents a growth of new publica
tions and In number of document that
well Illustrate the favor with which
the work of the department Is being
receive!.
1 Miring the Isst sewdon of Congreaa
Ight of fliexe publications, aggregat
ing !W",f" copied, were authorised by
law of Congrew. Of this niimlw
jiai.taai copies were of the year book
for lt3. In a.Ulltlon V copies of
the publication on Diseases of the
Horse." oue of the moot popular ever
Issued by the department, id 1.
an the beet-sugar Industry were au
thorised by ievlal relutUn. The
coot of these publication was $pm,iii.
Among the smaller publication the
greatext detnaml I for the Farmer s
Bulletin, of which 4 IS different Issue
were made last year. The aggregate
number of oople luel wa tt.43.'i.ixi
and of thla number Senator and Kep
menta rive dltrlbutexl among their
."onetitttent 4.1M. During the pat
three year the Congreanien have sent
ut 13,i0,nni of these document
hne. The amount of money expend
ed foe the variou bureau, division
ind office of the Department of Agri
culture for the printing of the-lr various
report wa $13Mrt.1.:W. The verge
?ot of the Frnier' Bulletin I lVj
jents a copy.
8UPER'S MEAN REVENGE.
Put Eajai la Cer' Hand and Spoiled
Shaklnc Hcene.
"Did I ever tell you about th time
my uncle, the actor, played with Fred
erick Warde?" aald the sailor, aisrd
Ing to th New York Press.
"No," said the druggist.
"Well, uncle wa a super with
Warde, and for drinking too much he
got Bred.
" "You can go,' Wrde say, 'at the
end of th week."
"That made uncle mad, and he de
cided to have revenge. So 011 hi last
night, after be had got his salary all
right, be went on the stage with an
egg In hi hand.
"Warde waa playln' 'Julius Caetwr,'
and It wae the garden scene, where
Brutus that waa Watrle walked
about and ahook hand with the vari
ous conspirators.
'Tncle wa on of the conspirator,
and be held the egg In hi right fltt.
He watched hi chance, and when
Warde, in a lordly way, went to shake
band with him he dropped the egg
In Warde's open palm.
'Tncle say he never seen sneh a
urprlsed look cm anyone's face a he
een on Wanle' then. His hand clos
ed immediately, ami he glam-ed down
at the thing that had been given him.
more surprised than ever.
"He couldn't put no fire Into the
ceti after that. He didn't do any
more band ehakln' for fear be might
mash the egg. He kept shlftin' It
from one hand to the other, and you
could hear him ciirsln' tinder bis
breath.
"At tlie end of the scene he rushed
Into the wings, yellln":
"'Whore's that Infernal Mnsgrave?'
"But I'nde Mnsgrave, you bet, had
kipped."
An L'nlntentlonal I'un.
. The difficulties of learning ami 11
lng a new language are many, and the
unfortunate Norwegian In this story,
from the Frankfort iKansasi Kevlew
must have felt that his own eff.,rt
were particularly uiiHiuiessful.
A druggist wa obliged to be absent
from his store on day. and tils wife
took bis place. A large Norwegian,
who spoke English with difficulty, eu
tered and said:
"III owe de firm fifty cents."
"Very well," replied the druggist'
wife; "Just pay It to me and It will be
all right."
"HI owe de firm fifty cents."
"Ye. I understand. If you are
afraid, I will give you a receipt for it."
The man looked at her In astonish
ment, and walked out without a word.
Pretty oon he returned with a fellow
countryman, whose command of Eng
lish waa a little better, and who in
terpreted hi friend' remark by ex
plaining. "He want fifty cent' wortb
of iodoform."
Awkard Marital Halation.
"I he niarrted'f"
"Partially."
"What do you mean by that?"
"She got a divorce and her husband
took an appeal. One court says she's
married and one say she Isn't." Xew
York Sun.
When a man say bl mind ha been
s blank, be might a well sign a con
fession of guilt.
Many a uiau who is too honest to
teal borrows and forgets to pay back,
w W t kis
JavoriteS
stSMtetsw"
Vt-iWVM
Go Where Glory Walt The
Go where glory walta thee.
Hut while fame elite thee.
Oh! still remember '.
When the pulse thou meetest
To Ihlne ar Is sweetest.
Oh! then remember me.
Other arm may press the.
lerer friends cartss thee,
All Itie Jo.vs that Mess thee.
Sweeter far may me;
But when frieuds are nearest,
And when Joys are dearest.
Oh! then remember me,
When at' eve thou rovet
B the slar thou Invest,
Oh! then rememlier me.
Think, when home returning.
Bright we've seen it burning.
Oh! ikiiis rememlier me.
Oft as summer cloes,
W'hea thin eye reposes
On It lingering roses.
Om-e so loved by thee.
Think of her who wove them,
Her who made thee lor them.
Oh! lhen remember me.
When, around thee dying.
A ill imin leaves are lying.
Oh! then remember me.
And. at night, when gasiug.
On the gray hearth biasing.
Oh! si ill remember uie.
Then, should music, stealing
All the soul of feeling.
To thy heart appealing.
, Draw one tear from thee;
Then let memory bring the
Strains I used to iug thee
Oh! then rememlier m.
-Thomas Moore.
Htn Tom b, of Nature.1"
For time la like a (sshiouahle host
Thtat slightly shakes his parting guest
by th' hand.
And with hi arms outstretched. he
would rly,
Gra in the corner; welcome ever
smile.
And faresell g.ies cut sighing. O, let
nt virtue seek
Kemiitieratlon for the thing It ws;
for lieaury. s it.
High birth, vigor of bone, desert In ser-
VHT.
Love, friendship, charity. re subjects all
To envious ami esluuiuiatlug time.
On touch of nalur make the whole
world kin
That all. with one consent, praise new
born gauds.
Though they are mail and molded of
tiling, pnst.
And give to dust that is a little gilt
More land than gilt n'erdtuted.
William Shakpesre.
BEWARE THE TUB.
Wear More Clean Clothe nd Bath
Yourself Less.
The medical faculty ar keen upon
mlcrolies. but never before has the
KnglUhman's "tub" been ssailed.
Now we are not only warned galnt
the dangers of the dally or weekly
bath, but deliberately told that we are
courting pneumonia nd various dia
eases.
Is thl true? Medical authorities
speak of the necessity of keeping the
pore open. Physiologist depict th
danger of not bathing, and early I" life
we are educated Into the principles
of the dally bath untJk it become a
confirmed haWt
It 1 argued that the higher th civ
ilization the more public bath, the
more private bathtub, th more provl
shais for hot water, and, a rule, th
weaker the progeny.
The construction of tbe skin Is not
sufficiently strong for th frequent us
of that product of modern civilisation
the dally bath.
It Is said that In the days of our
youth we have a strong predilection to
avoid the both; that we ar attracted
to mother earth, and grow fat and
dirty "no. not dirty, but covered with
element that are helpful to ua." In
stinct teaches children right; mint
accumulated knowledge leads bltn
astray. Which 1 to be trusted. Instinct
or thl psendo knowledge? Tbe chick
makes no mistake in following the
duckling into the pond. All animal
governed by instinct avoid bathing tn
the winter. The primitive condition
then. I the natural one, sud clvlllza
tton Is all wrong.
Now It seems the bath fills the skin
with blood; the blood In the surface
Is Immediately chilled, passes Into the
heart ami Is punied Into the lung:
result, congestion of these organs
pneumonia. We may escape with a
slight cold, but the experiment waa
foolish. It Is a useless waste of vital
force, and causes more work for every
organ. In the winter time we eat more
meat and food, which i,ause poisonous
lebrls, and we perspire little, while In
the summer time we ent much U
inent. more fruits, and erplre much.
therefore the skin eliminates 110 pot
son. sud an exaiuumlloti of Lite human
perspiration shows It to contain noth
lng poisonous.
This is how pneumonia Is invited:
The victim gets into a tub of hot wat
er; he lathers his lody with eoap. He
nibs the skin with a fleMli brush; the
skin glows; the blood vessel are taxed
to their limit. Tbe soap dissolves the
fat that agglutinate the jiorea and
holds Intact everal layers of epider
mis. He leaves the belli tub s glow
ing, healthy man, yet withal a prey
to pneumonia. In the morning he goes
to work. In the evening the evil
sprite begin the work. And for what
is all this risk? To Is? clean? Not so!
For to lie clean I not to be molt,
but to be dry. and not to bathe, but to
keep clean clothes.
Therefore, on this principle, a chim
ney sweep I clean, lie, -a use the outer
kln 1 covered with soot; the miner
not dirty because he I covered with
(a rbon.
Why do we bathe? To be clean or
'o look white? is. after all, the ting-
llshman's lore of hi tub a mere spa
de of vanity ? Ixmdon Express.
Th One Thing Needful.
Ixlger 1 wish you would put a bet
ter mattress on my bed.
landlady Better matrresa! Why,
that I a genuine hair mattress.
Ixslger Oh, that being the case,
perhaps a bottle of hair restorer Is all
that's necessary.
A Cse of letsrpretallos.
What shall wi d- with ie prU
oner?" demanded the spokesman f
mob. "Do thou. 0 royal chamberlain,
hist to ih presence of bU mijeitv
aud learn bit wish."
Th royil chamberlain hurried to the
presence ami bowed hltnielf thrice to
floor. Then be asked th mon
arch! pleasure regirdlng the deiperate
outlaw. . , ,
,. . .III. Mm " d th ting in s
.,..-.., -
loud, hirsh vole.
Hut th chamberlain was someining (
of a humorist and when ne reiurneo u. 1
the mob he laughingly announced iut, . ,,, t ,,in j(lt four ami twu ii"
1., -...srd to th misdoing of th prla-! wm )llt ,lm straight." 'Tut me down
oner, the king hid UI only that It wat
a way with him."
Whereupon the mob reluctantly re-
leased lt qnirry. ,
But In trvlng to explain rn joae to ,
ib nbtus king (he royal chamberlain ,
liecm confused and completely lot
hi head. Baltimore American.
Maearewl Wheat.
Salter's strain ol this Wheat is the kind
. 1 s . i I. at it. I til !
i.i, laugus "'":- ,'..;',,.:..
menu ami positively nss i" -
thut leinlile scorch!
It's sure ot yielding so "
Wheat the sun shmes on r ci un o,"l
III., la.. Mich.. Wis. .. . M'S. . ;
lauds and 4 to DO bushels on and landa.
No rust, no 111
sects, no failure. Catalog
tell all about it
JI HT Srt 10c AM Till SOTICg
to the John A. Salser Seed t o . U t rosse.
Wis., and thev will send you lie sample
of this Wheat and other Isrin seeds, to
.ether with their arest catalog, worth
IliHl.OO to any wule-asske farmer, r. I'. I.. J
Belwees Kriesd.
Joe Toil look out of sorts this sra-
ing. old msn: what's wrong?
Fred Oh. family trouble.
Joe Well. I'm sorry t hr
Nothing serious, I hop?
Fred I'm ifraid It Is. t hJ nilun-
jaw- sr -a a w
demanding with my rich uurl last: wl).n , (,,( f gold was flrst re
nl"ht- . .. ..'rortlml. to the rud of IH. '.7.istl,si
,w-iWnul ,. j
Ever Notice It?
"Tea." remarked th aiaa wh oc-
slonally lets out uuly an audlbl thought.
It is." 1
"Wht 'tis that is?" queried th Brty j
sith'th rubber habit. 1
"It la easier to cut aa icquaintanc
thas it U to carve a steak with restau
rant knife," eiplained th noisy tblustr. I
CITC rfmnnlir Cured. !oiitMTosss ,
-?j?-t
Had Iteen There Before. )
Messenger Boy Here's pckag for
you. sir. 1
Wrilderly So? What Is it?
Messenger By I'm not sure. sir. but
I think it's birthdsy present your wif
ordered for you at Smith's jewelry tore.
Wedderly Oh, very well. Just Itav
th bill aud tell Muiitb I'll send hnu
check fir tbe amount to-morrow.
Declined with Thaake.
Dribbles Did yu gst check fur
that poem you ul to Blank aiaga
sme last month?
Scribbles Y'rs. Hot It by return mad.
Dribble For how much?
Scribble Oh, not much; only tbr
words written with bin pencil.
TO CljRt A C010 IN ONt DAV
rnke litsllve Hmniu uulnlne Tsltlvts. Alt tr(ie
cl.i. rvruiMt the n.unrv if II fell. I., t-urs, K. W.
rovr iswitir is uu fm a imi. jc
Thst'a a Pact.
"Cspitsl and latHr should go hind la
hand," remarked th morsliier.
"True." rejoined th demoralise, "but
the trouble is too many men ar trying
to get capital without labor."
Third Kali.
F.astern Man Visiting In th West
Has the third rail reached your town
yet? j
Westeni Man Sure thing! We rode;
a man out of town 011 Moudiy, another
msn 011 We.tnes.liiv and the llilr.l ..
' I
rode out of
Statesman.
town tonight. Yolikers
Tbos Russian .Name.
Crlmsouiieak la It wrong to talk
with the mouthful?
Yeast Why. certainly It I.
"Well, how I a tnn to talk aliont
those Huaslnn generals, then? You
cau't (x-k their name without hav
ing a mouth f till ! Vonkers Statesman.
Justl'anabb
Husband I don't bellev that tsh I
fresh.
Y'oung Wif.) Nonsense! It' Just out
of th ocean, I'm sure. It suislls just
lik sslt water at low tide.
The One ticepilon.
Muggs Th t'hinese clsiui to hsv In
ventwl nearly everything.
Buggs Well, judging by th way they
wear their hair, they didn't Invent foot
ball. Mint) tu Notrjing.
Baid Ureen: "My wif and I ar on,
You say, but I fail to see why, air,"
Uald th parson: "You'r ten, my son;
8h' th on and you th cipher."
Id proceeding to etplaln th use of
in Incubator a London whooi teacher
asked br class: "In what other way
could (a egg b hatched than by putting
it under hea?" A bright pupil replied:
"You might put it under duck."
It is unlawful in Franc for any per
son to glv solid fowl to Infants that
are under on year old, utiles on th
prescription of physician.
Th Russian government has estab
lished half dozen model farm for th
cultivation of cotton in different part
of Turkestan.
Nearly 40 per cent mors women ar
working this year at men's labor than
worked ten yeara ago; while the lucre
of mil worker Is only a trill ovar 26
per cent.
Many British mil. Hers In Tibet suffered
from anow blindness. Th natives avoid
thla by greasing their faces and then
making a black rlrel around their ya
with a charred stick.
Wherein They Differ.
A workman hia job Is apt to throi
If th wages he geta lis dislikes:
up
Hut a clock is quite different, because
It continues to work when It strikes.
By counting th hair on a square Inch
of th human acalp, a Frenchman ha
estimated that the number of halra on th
head of th verag man It 127,020.
Id th herring season, which citenda
from the midflle of August to th end of
December, the Ashing boats of Yarmouth
England, caught &o.r,:t7H.H00 herrings '
PUTNAM FADELESS nvFS
C4sr son cs hrlthter ami taster col era It... -fc La I Vse s
tesaui s aua csMr. MUNHOC DKUO CO.. Unlonvlll. M,.Mr. ,u- e aaikags. Wilt ue r bvoblst how I r
D0UQLA8 JIRROUD.
loss ef lb Cstlo Klorl M4 b
th Fiuuu wit.
When prosy old bore stopped
Douglas Jerrold, who wn hurrying on
urgent business along Urgent ilreet,(
with th queallon. "Well. Jerrold, luy,
dear boy. what 1 going onr "I 'nl
retorled Jerrold. gltootlni Pt Ilk
arrow from a bow,
Also to contribute to third ''
crliitlon which wu being got up i
..... -,....
reckles nruu ireei wrii,
lvW impatiently, "Mow much uw.
f,,now Wam 1111s iimei -
for ot(l, f the naughts!"
A lawyer, replying u uie ..-. -
lrB,i, Uk at a dinner of artists.
sliimtuered out tniti no um o,.,
,, l,u,r, as ww comu unrin.v
aidered one of the arts, whereupon Jer
rohl Interjwted
one word o"1)'-
Black!"
A clergyman who was Indecorously
and uncharitably denouncing the poot
for the number of children they nreti
.... Hint the
s.muiii up -i
ri,ii evil uf the llmea'wtt "th surplus
,i,i., " Jerrold maided benriy
assent, "Certainly, the surplice popula
tion !'
"There one song In tbe I'rouigue,
cried a musical bor to Jerrold, "which
always carrle me away," "Would I
could alng It!" ejaculated Jerrold.
A (ilMRANirtD t URt MM PlltS
uu.,.1 IIImkIKis M ri.rttti file.
V...f .liussi.1 iU riuiut m.'y If I
MVS r Is.l I" ei.,s '
The ld of tlold.
IM'-
The Yukon territory, which prior to
istes formed
I part of the Northwest
Terrltoty, ha
an iva of 1'st.H.M
s.iiar miles, H:1,.T.T being land ami
tMtl witer. The population la estl
mated at 1-.H. of whom T.'.K) ire
Amerl. ans. It Is purely mineral
Cl,,try, and 1m pr.Hliiccl slu-
(n KuU i,aw,, the capital of the
Yukon territory aud the residential
and conimenial center of w hat Is com
moiity known as the Klondike, tin a
population of X'V person of various
nationalities, the Americana, with
U.s.'SI, forming 70 per cent of th total
CASTOR I A
lor Infant snd Children.
Tlii Kind You Haie Always Bought
Bears the
Sitftuklox
Th Mwuse or "V"' "
"Quit" strictly mean 'Vompleleiy"
and I rightly used In such senteni-es
a "Th dowrr I quite faded." lis
iccoudary meaning, "very," "to great
extent," has the authority of gmsl
writer, though such expressions us
I "quit young" and "quite hot" have a ,
colloquial ring alKUit them. There Is. ;
' however, springing up of late the stov- j
enly practice of emplojliig the adverb f
"quite" with a noun e. g , "quite a ;
j panic ensued." If an adverb can mod
Ify a iKun, where Is the distinction '
1 between adverb and adjective? As a
matter of fact, the fuiu-ilon of the
I adverb seem to lie encroaching mi :
1 those of the adjective.- London He.
1 view.
j IIOO s,ara, IIOO.
1 Th featiof thl. i-ir H1 t rU.1 to
Usru thai Ibur Usl lesstuli drte't Iimsmi
' that stlsurs has ln all to rots In sll us ,
sisass sod that la aistrh lis, I sisuh
j 1 ma lathsnulv Mltlv rur known 10 the'
metlesl Irawrnujr sisrrs wiin.rooiiiin.
tlonsi illsus, r,Ulre s c.R.iltutlohsl lrr(.
msot. Hall sisfta ur.i.iss.n inwraauy. t
turlsre ot tbs tyttera, IliSfpliv ,i'M.f lng Ih
lun ino t ih. .n-. and gmu th. i-
,na .i.it" n.inr. m dl.ii.g its ork. lbs
snkrtiis uaveau much tilth to l curslus
,.. , K -. .... Ill,
K.ssra that tnev on.r ins iina-irs.1 ininsfs
ir an v rase that It (ails to cuts. Send tor list
uf iMfltauaiai.
A MrsM r 1. rilKNEY A CO., Tul4o. 0.
Suld br .truer !ts.
lltil's ramily fills r Ih bt.
.Napoleon' Idas of Journalist.
The worst recommendation that tiy
man could have In Napoleon' eyes was
to be a newspaper writer, Hlmrtly after
tbe lntli Itruuiaire, Table da 1'Arade,
who whs alway a favorite with the
Kinpcror, solli-ltcd nil aindtltlnelit fur
one of bl acquainiant-es.
"What haa he doner" asked Nnpo-1
Icon. " ha been a journalist, a
cenaurcr, a giver of advice, a regent
of sovereigns, a tutor of tuitions. The1
lllcetre la the Attest phu-c for people
nf that stamp." Suppose Napoleon:
lived to dny, wllh his every thought i
anticipated In the iiewspnpers! M01110'
good newspaper advice might linvej
anved hi In In tlio Itusslan campaign '
ami later at Waterloo. New York
Pre.
For bronchial ttouoies trr I'lao'a Cur
for CoiiaiiiiiiPiuni. It is r'xd rough
soedlclnc. At druggists, prir jAcani. ,
1
The King of Mollusk.
Tbe king of miilltisks live in the In
dian and Mouth 1'ai lri.- o. euns. ., t-;
talus to a weight of Sno pounds, and
the ahcll is of the bivalve kind, mid the '
ahspe is aljout th mine a that f 0r
Comition fresh water mussel. The g.
gantlc Trldiicna la tlie largest inollnsk
known to have lived 011 the enrlli sltu-e
the Silurian Age. U , found on the
bottom of the shallow purls of the!
ocean, and the large individuals mVe'
110 longer the power to move about. :
They lie on one side, am) )M,
them the corn I liulhl up until King,
Trldiicna Is sometime fi ,1 in !
well like hole In the i-onil formnllou
Ht. Nicholas.
llotherswlll flnd Wr.. wn,nw, Hoothln.
Byrup th. ts.l reined, tUs, (ur ttu.tr uhil,l,c2
duilug th tsvthlng rl(l. (
loylug up t reasures. I
The third bunk of .lapan received n '
deposit of ,'l,lgg yen, w h w r.-tiialii
tor 2M years, from t. Abe, dealer In
cmil and coke nt Tokyo, The bunk
has contracted to pay (he sum ,,f '
1,208,41 1, 17U yen at the cud of o-K) !
renra. The father of thu deimslb.r !
wis a Jliirlkishn riwiu, and hu himself
wa an Ice boy some twenty yenrs 111m
lately th father lost 11 .hip
Horm. The ship had been Insured for
8.(KK ven. Th. ,.. . I r
. . " ' le'-eiveii rr 111
tlie liisiirnnce company was dcposlied
It) hchiilf of hi poslerlly.
Ayefs
One dose of Ayer'i Cherry
pcotoril at bedtime prevents
night coughs of children.
No croup. No bronchitis. A
Cherry
Pectoral
doctor's medicine for til
alTections of the throat, bron
chlul tubes, snd lungs. Sold
for over CO years.
I ksv ! sr I'kin, rwtiml Is sit
(mill, l-it io inn Ti.siii"ii' .i..l
,., II fit. pusl, s,tl.H. iM.rl.ilt i,t.
u... ,"-!. n, U, Sasa,ksliit.is.
ise.sv.! ,
Ail tl. r,,
for
i
Night Coughs
Koep th rtosveis op.n with one ot
Aysr's fills at bedtime, ust one.
When (Ireek Meets tires,,
Moon aficr t'oiigressninu llulwrt 0.
t'liitslna' advent at Washington lie wa
Invlt.sl to a fuii'tlou of very atntely
formiillty, Kvcryihlug was new to
1 1 111 then, even In Ih evening tires
Just from the furnisher'.
As he left the hotel to ri trr a wsl.
Ing carriage he wit split! by Thoma
li. Keeil, who Us'tt I'ltu all tn at a
ulnine
j ,.1 n,ih," drawled th rr
J ,,r,-,l It'v.l; "v
"what sits you J"
j ,. feel like an as In
lions kin
; Mld Mr. t'otislu.
( -v,,,, na Umilgh you hod be
; y(,P tHiint(."
al," auld Mr. t'ousln. who also
j i,n, A prciilisrly re.oimnt drawl, "J
! i... , . ure.l.leiitinl l."
And for oik's) Mr, Iteett wa t loss
for a reply.- Ilrsr'a Weekly.
M. .1. HMIIU.DH CO.
ttrwf - twi-niteyf Of Alt fcttvU tt
Urnsi ttJ tMK ft
Vtt "uii'l, st-,) rostitnff (' tht
m mil gu tan trs ij ff Mn ruu- 4 thai will
ft lvrtlU rvtrtll Mf 'h klMst ui fr.
WiU lftk-t) Vrt uf sV M tsU(v ftll MsVsai,f
ot !! uf A.tfH M. I, itUfiMt ft ! Mm
est. MetlrtsV
$25 Per Day
t as un M tta
WITH
lustin Well Drills
de tn sit ! snd sltt
W rite tot t ' ts
si4 I'llrM
BULL I Co.
(. Aat.
311 C.au.1 Kk
rlUaS. Off.
Ot ih Trq
I (btWSMKl
ytl Mm. Ti
th
-....d . rr- 1 n t Done.
oh
tt'lir a nn nrjfTJ . ril(lS
NO
Pi'mmtt Slicker SJIi-si hi
" swM. s4 sst
,Swi wtiuly, r esst M H nM,
n4 ss a tvss si ssil,, tf gis Is I
ail I win
y tlMll a
geties mm
Mw1 mt 4 pMt SlHksf ,l,s as SSbSff
I m y.
tw mvtm ihst I svsr eisse."
n mm mmI Mama w aa
twe f Ml. minm4 SS
w mmf at fc4 m .ssii.ss.si I
Wrt W.lh Osrswrtl tat KatBhg,
Wsihlng. Wmtint, W
t,lai
A J TOWER CO. gj
austua. . a. 'W
TOWItl CANADIAN !r?Vsl!
CO , Umll4
tosustu. tasaaa ttSH W-W
Clean Your Grain
IOR SttDJ- - :
Th CHATHAM FANNING
MILL, with Sacking attachment,
will clean an! (rid: all kin Is ol
Grain and Seeds. Th only machine
that his screens snd rid J Its mad
especially for cleaning grain on lh
Coatl. To convinc you that Ihlt
Grain Cleaner is as nrrsrnKd 1 will
und you on on 30 days' frc (rial
and will pay th (night.
Write m dr our Dripllv Cal
lojttf and "on Hint" proposition
-II wi.l Inlrres: you.
ceo. w. roon
Dept. It Portland, Oregon
P. N. U.
N. 1 1 -I SOS
1
V,"C, wnii.,, to
' U'snilun till t
sMlvsrtlwvsplesM
psr.
(lO.OOO Plants for I6e.j
I Mih " m r
j jf IsMthn. f Um I tNSja ( i.
I f fCjk .. V"se ! t"
V X'1-0 4Mss4tst(SteMl
1 HP I I I f M-aa st
' HT III " asss-lsj sr,
i V JJt, tn") tetit lsM. J
bbM r I ltlM WWMs4 tt-aseisv
Wif ." LsskH BsSeAess, I
mWi ! a fMsssa4 tto'SsMh,
l A A hois !-) rein I) iH A
II m ! u. (ri o mm pun's, futs t
II 1 ..i.ttir.tf tss.. r tjksr1lMMst J
ZM I HM f r and id. .! In, -f fjf
Bl I se.s.i.,.i.Ns,ti,s. wiii. ir jnr
D I '- iiiit.iiHiMmi n -' W'
it .stU Pftiis, t , mil 'r
WL ,f J. M i- .r,ts mm tkt aaitreB. W
BlLi VA tT .tUtaW,4 f
flit 1 iVrt 'OHM a. SUM S(I0 CO S
1