The Oregon mist., October 03, 1902, Image 4

A
I
I
I
MiSS MILNE AND I f
I . I W I
j
CL -A Tfc 2 a, h, ST I
f 4
- t,
UlAl'XEK lX-Coutinued.
With the morning came the purchas
er of my practice a tall, gaunt,
cadaverous looking young mau, a very
mild specimen of tne trock coat auU
white ue order of doctor. A private
letter from Mra. Needs told me that
he was not Just the kind of man she
would have liked to introduce, out he
was a willing purchaser, and had
given two hundred pounds more than
my minimum price, so that ho was
not to be despised.
On the evening of that day I saw
Miss Milne tor the first time alter my
parting with Edith. She came about
lu o'clock, and as she had been with
out money for some time, I expected
her, but with feelings very different
to those that had possessed me pre
vioua to our last interview. I no long
er (eared her. She had done her very
worst, and there appeared very little
deviltry left for her to accomplish, so
voice rather than her words, arrested
my attention; I looked npand no linger
aw the Miiis Milne of ten miitutua
since, no longer the demon in woman's
cloth inn, but, as though by magic, the
whole charatcer of her had changed;
the bad was dead, tiie (rood auain living
and active. Ihe teveu devils nad
been cast out. ;
Of the why and wherefore of the
marvelous metamorphus, of the sci
ence of this sudden death and sudden
birth, I know nothing. I only know
it happened. -.
"No, no," she continued, as I looked
straight in the face, no .longer afraid,
and saw her unile as 1 had not saw her
smile for many a month, "you are not
the coward I took you for, Doctor Rig
by. I have been an enigma to you, I
have been a punle to myself; I think I
have been mad this many a month. I
la with a firm step to have admired yon one month and de-
that I walked
meet her.
"I have called to ask you for some
money. Dr. Rlgby. I have had during
the last few days, and am likely to
have for a day or two to come, some
extra expense, otherwise I ould not
trouble you."
I felt confident that the extra ex
penses were connected with the Illness
of her child, but said nothing, simply
taking Out my check book and asking
her how much she required.
"Ten pounds will be sufficient, I
think."
I wrote a check for that amount and
handed It to her. As she crossed the
spieed you the next; one day I have
hated and the next loved you."
"lxved me!"
"Yes, loved you as I think I alono
among women ran love." " ' -
"Yon have adopted a Grange method
of showing your love."
Ugh!" she exclaimed with a slim
mer of her other self. "You know
nothing of women; we love and we
hate In the same degree, and onr lives
and onr hates lie side by side, ' separat
ed by tne thinnest of walls, which one
drop of Jealousy will dissolve. " But,
room to receive It she dropped on the nJ tl8 ! firm "and on my should-
floor a card. Aa I stooped to pick it
up and restore It to her, I noticed it
was that of an undertaker, and then,
still thinking of ber child's illness. I
became Intensely curious. Unable long
er to resist the temptation, I remark
ed: "I am very sorry to hear that
your child has been 111.
er, "I have loved you madly and hated
myself for It. 1 love you madly now
And bowing her head, she added In
slow, almost inaudible tones: 'Give
me one real kiss and you have seen the
last of me, I will never trouble you
again will you?" she aksed, trembling
,ur uiuu hi vmu til. I . , , , . . . , . ,
With a bold, defiant look she turned ' m' "ti,' d '?kin8 nP n ,tu:
to me, and replied: ; "Yes, but he is
better now." -"Betterr
"Yes. he's dead." '
"Dead ! And you call that betterr
"Far better, don't you think so?
Twould be better for all of us to be
dead."
"For some of us, perhaps."
"There's no perhaps about It, Dr.
Rlgby. Life for men even Is a mis
take; for women It's the greatest curse
God (if there la such a being) can in
niet uwon one.
"But. Miss Milne, you surely feel
the loss of your child? You always
appeared to be very fond of htm.
"My feelings are my own business;
I don't wear my heart upon my sleeve
for daws to peck at.
This was said with a sneer, and was
evidently Intended to have some
persona) allusion.
"You certainly do not, I replied
lace o child. "1 am not wicked. I
am not mad now
I took the girl in my arms. I let the
memory of her past Moat away in her
tears, I let her arms entwine them
selves about my neck, I let her past ion-
ate lips touch mine, I let ber nestle
her bead upon my Bhoulder. and forget
in this strange present all the terrible
past.
Y hen she had released me, her bands
fell powerless by her side, and with
drooping head ehe stood motionless.
Then a shiver ran through her from
head to foot. That shiver wss the last
volcanic display that had just shaken
her. She looked up, and hel face was
now calm and impenetrable; evidence
of neither love not anger was visible,
bnt a fixity of determination had entire
possession of her.
I am, as yon know, a woman of my
prted in the rsorniiig and even In,
papers, and there were tbe most faith
ful partialis of me in the illustrated
woeklies. I was vhunned as one hav
ing leprosy, t don't know what my
landlady must have thought, for almost
j every hour of the day and night saw a
poucoman ruBU up in a aiaie ol wild
;exiunient to report "another auppici
vwn nrc ,.. ,IVM IIVIII HJK'IJ tVIUUI
aud re ess in the neigh borhod there
would emerge one of the army of re
imrters set to watch me, with his terri
ble notebook.
And to ( awoke each morning to And
myself more and more famous, with the
Hilary of a prune minister, with work
that had been a daily matter of course
in London, and looked upon as ' any.
tiling nut neroic, with a popularity
i hat a politician might -have envied.
amid new scenes and new surroundings.
i mignt nave been and should have
been really happy but for the ever
preeent memory of Edith and . the
haunting Nemesis of niv other self.
In the diuy whirl of intense excite
ment Edith was not forgotten. The
faint possibility of still being near her,
aud the picture of the old colonel read
ing my name In the papers any morn
ing, were constantly before me.
"As a slight return for your kindness
and forbearance," raid a reporter to me
one aiternoon, "I have run down from
the treasury to tell you a piece of news
that I have Just learned that may be of
great importance to you."
"That's very good of you; and what
is the news?"
"There has been a meeting of the
cabinet, and it ha been decided to send
you into quarantine."
"Me to quarantine. On what
grounds?"
"Well, they have an Idea that if you
go first to see a genuine case, then only
a suspicious one, you infect the latter
by taking germs of the disease with
you."
Has it not occurred to them that this
new syten will involve finding a new
medical man for each suspicious case,
and if the suspicious case should turn
out to be a genuine one, locking him up
(the medical man), as well as the
patient in quarantine?"
"I don't suppose, it baa; they are too
utterly lunatio to think of anything
properly- At any rate, doctor, you
will have to go; but allow me to give
you one word of advice and that is,
dont' go voluntarily, make the police
man take you. If he only puts his
hand upon his shoulder that will be
sufficient. I don't think they have
the legal right to arrest you."
i thanked him for his advice as he
rose to go. . And if this book should
fall into his hands he - mnst allow me
through the medium of its pages to
thank him again; his caution was
worth many hundreds of pounds to me.
ana, more inan mere money, it aa a
practical evidence of kind-heartedness
that was very acceptable just then.
emphatically; and had I not seen her I word. Doctor Rigbv, and I have nrom
under very different circumstances I Jged to ceare troubling you, so that now
should have believed she bad no heart there is nothing left but to wish vou
A a JaW , nlonfT -aw Irk Cha AvUanf. . .
W ucrv. itci nice v -c wuu. au IUOU I ffAOU-DV
OUR BUDGET OF FUN,
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND
INQS HERE AND THERE.
DO-
lakes and Jokelete, that Are Supposed
to Hart) Been Recently Horn rlayiiiK
and Dolnua tliut Are Old, Curious aud
Laughable The Week's Uuinor.
Traveler I want a bed for the night
Clerk Haven't got oiio lu the house,
sir.
"(lot one out of the houso?"
"Oh, yea.''
"Well, I'll take that. Where Is It?"
"Out In the buck yard, sir. It's tho
strawberry bed. Den't roll over oil the
berries. Good-night, sir." .
On Its Different.
Wesley Yo' look troubled) RnstUHl
Haveu't you got Us nerve to propose to
her?
Rnstus Oh, I popped de question,
but I ain't got de nerve to question pop.
Handicapped.
Madge-How la It you'ra not going
out yachting with Charlie ngnln?
Dolly It took both his hands to nmn-
flgo tho bout September Smart Set
now Can It?
Eddie (aged 0 Suy, pop, nlu't tlia
world round?
Ills Pop Yea.
Eddie Then how can It ever come to
an end?
In the Wrong Pew.
lady Customer Give me a packago
of hairpins,, please. -
Green Salesman You'll find those In
the hulr mattress department, madam.
Ohio Stute Journal.
Caution.
Stem Mother Were yon In swim
ming. Bobble?
Bobble What If I'll say yes?
Stern Mother Why, I should
jou.
Bobble Then I refuse to answer.
Ohio State Journal.
whip
knew my thoughts, for she added.
"You think, of course, that I have
no heart."
"You had once. I know, but now .
However, If you are not sorry for
yourself, I am very sorry for your
loss.
"Thank you," ahe replied, with
bow, and left me.
CHAPTER X.
Nothing worth recording happened
dnring the next fortnight, and I was
within a week of my departure from
my old, borrorful borne without any
fixed idea as to iny destination, when
one evening Mis Milne was announced
Xo those days, and later, I always
dreaded her appearance. I dreaded it
more than ever now, because, although
as far as Edith was concerned, she had
done her worst, yet she might have
heard of my going and continue her
persecution of me by preventing it ;
she might even, when I had gone, pat
tbe police on my track ; she might do
anything, for, as I think I have shown,
she waa capable of anything.
I had half made np my mind to tell
herself of all that had happened the
infinite trouble she had brought into
my life and so perhaps reawaken the
good side of her. It wss therefore with
very mixed feelings that I entered the
room, making her a alight bow as I
took my seat.
I bear," she began, "that you are
thinking of leaving this neighborhood.'
"Yes, I replied, filled with horri-
ble suspense, but speaking carelessly
enough, "I waa going to see you tomor
row and tell you of my arrangements.
"Indeed I Well, I came down this
evening to tell you that I object to your
eoine.
"Miss Milne, what ori earth are vou
aiming at? What can possibly be your
anotiveT '
She gave an nnnstural laugh, and
replied: "Do you think I am fool
enough to lose tbe whole of my occupa
tion without a struggle, to give up
calmly the only thing I care to live
for?"
"There is one road of escape where
even your vengeance will not follow
me."
She put out her band a. she spoke.
and, taking it in mine and holding it,
I asked ber what she intended doing,
Ul my future movements I know
nothing; I have not had time to think.
All I know is that I will not trouble
you any more."
iou will, of course, allow me to
help you with some monev: I am in
funds and can well aoffrd it."
Thank you, no; I am not one of the
sinners that suffer paroxysmal fits of
repentance and then repent of their re
pentance. I would seriously like to
undo some of the injury I have done
you, but that I fear is out of the ques
tion; at any rate, I will not make mat
ters worse oy taking any of your
money."
jjui may i net give it to vou as a
free gift?"
no; uon t tempt roe. i have no
child to live for now. You wonder, I
see, at my smiling."
"You are a puzzle."
"Do you wonder, after, finding the
world so far from being a paradise,
that I do not regret that my child has
said good-by-to it?" "
Hut your life has been a terribly
hard battle."
"Is any mi-.'i, much less woman's.
life worth living? No, no," she con
tinued, half to hereclf snd half aloud.
I wit (i there were some painless road
of escape."
Then, with a sudden reawakening.
she extended her hand aiiain, and tak
ing mine in hers, gave it one silent
pressure, and was gone gone forever
from the scene of her triumphs and my
humiliation.
(To be eoBiinaed.)
Thing That May
3 Inloromt You.
Furetahted,
"Dolly Is going somewhere with that
young mau this evening."
"Yes, golug to' gft with hlra In the
hammock. Right after dinner ahe went
upstairs and put on a dark shirt waist
I'ortlaud Oregon Inn.
CHAPTER XI.
Sydney, rew South Wales I'm at
the back of God's speed, at tiie tail end
of His earth, amid a Ktrange people
who are Americans without the Ameri
can s "go, and AngliKlimen without
tbe ballast of the Engii -hmau's conr
vatinni; in a land in which huve (lock
ed the venturesome and the visionary,
tbe restless and the discontented.
I am in Sydney, the capital of New
South Wales. 8ince the close of the
I D mt Akftnltf T I,.h 1 i I tm ! 1 0 l'.naltal
Why, my dear air, I have ten times acroM the astonished earth," and am
now sitting in "the doctoi's quarters"
at the quarantine station, which are
situated immediately on your right as
the pluck you have, and I can't do it.
I have tried, dozens of times; I have
bad the prussic acid in a wineglass at
my bedside; I have written the usual
last letter, and walked to the Regent's
park canal. -. No, no, Doctor Rigby,
suicide ia the luxury of the madman
and the genuine philosopher, 'tis not
for us."
Tbe mere reading of these words will
convey to the reader no idea of their
maddening irony; each word and sneer
ttung me to the quick, and before she
bad finii-faed I had jumped to my feet.
A bottle of the strong solution of mor
phia, used for subcutaneoos injection,
was on the table near me; in a frenzy
of rage and despair I ruuhed to it, drew
the sork, and holding it clore to my
lips, hissed out: "Look, you thrice
, damned curse of your own sex and
yon enter this most glorious of glorious
harbors. '
When I reached Sydney I found the
whole city in a ferment of excitement
over a case of smallpox that bad been
discovered the day before in the Chi
nese quarters.
Twelve hours after my arrival a note
was brought to me at my hotel from
the government medical officer, re
questing an immediate interview. J
found him at his club.
'You are lately from London, i be
lieve, Dr. Rigby7"
I am."
"Do yon know anything of small
pox?"
"I venture to lay claim to a consid-
A Baltimore chemist is said to have
perfected a fuel made of street dirt
rour minion dollars is tne gam an
nually left in Paris by visiting Amer
icans.
Postoffice authorities of Great Eritai
are to start an independent parcels post
in tne united states.
A New Yorker, after 30 years' exper
imenting, claims to have discovered
safety gas for automobiles and
launches.
German steel mills are preparing to
join the worldwide combine planned by
Morgan and an agreement on expoits is
aiieauy reached.
King Edward has signed a charter
for the British Royal academy, which
is to be a counterpart of the famous
rrencn institution.
A treasury department report shows
that the world has 1,760 submaiine
telegraph c.bles, having a total length
of nearly ZUU,U00 miles.
According to treasury statistics the
consumption of champagne in this
country has increased 100 per cent
during the last three years.
Capt. Plnnta, a Swiss, has, after a
long litigation, succeeded in establish
ing bis -right to the credit of having
nrst invented tne automobile.
Tho United States war department
has bought the right to use the new
lightweight field artillery perfected by
llrr t-hrhardt, of Du-seldorf, '
During the coming year (10,000,000
young salmon will be turned loose from
hatcheries in Oregon along the Colum
bia river and its tributaries.
Tho revenue cutter Tuscarora, which
will nee service on the great lakes, has
been given her sea trial of? Chesapeake
bay. the is expected at Milwaukee
October 15.
Charles T. Yerkea returned to New
York after eight months abroad nd
says millions will be spent if necessary
to prevent competition by J. Pieipont
Morgan in London electric railways,
German iron, steel and coal indus
tries formed a combination to pay
bonus to members exporting to foreign
countries, thus making it possible for
them to undersell all competitors. '
mine, see if I have not the pluck 1" erable experience of the disease
and in a moment I should have swal-l "Will you undertake the stamping
lowed tne whole ol it baa sue not, with out of what in this unvaccinated corn-
one bound arrow the room, dashed munity might become a very frightful
the bottle from my band. or a mom- edipemic?"
eut we stood face to face, motionless
and irresolute, and with our eyes down
cast. She was the first to speak. Tak
ing a lapel of my coat, in each of her
hands, she said in a voice deliberate
but now soft and gentle: "You are
not the coward I took you for."
Iba mhaculoua alteration is her
I gladly undertook the task and on
the following morning was installed in
my new office. Under the name of Mr.
Johnton I took lodgings in a quiet
street; 'twas necessaiy to bide my
identity under a nom de guerre, as my
opinions, my every movement, and
almost every word I uttered, were re-
Settling the "Tip" Question.
The awkward question of the tip was
solved by a big Mew Englandor from
the state of Maine who was dining in a
London restaurant the other evening.
Having paid bl. bill, he was informed
by the waiter that what he bad paid
"did not include the waiter."
"Waal," said the stranger, "I at
no waiter, did I?"
And as he looked quite ready to du
so on any further provocation the sub
ject was dropped.
Falling Bodies.
A falling body moves at - tbe rate of
32 feet the first second of its drop, at 64
feet the next, 98 feet third, and so on,
increasing 32 feet -jer second during
each second of its fall.
The Southern I'biloepher.
"You look happy," ventured the tour-
tot '
"Uouldn t be more so, stranger, re
plied the lanky native.
"Didn t the lightning strike your
placer
"Yes, bit the woodpile an' spilt up
enough kindling to lust six weeks."
"How about the cloudhurst?"
"Ob, that laved the old woman a
week's washing. Jest hung the clothes
out an' the water did the rest"
"But the earthquake?"
"Well, that saved some more work.
Churned up all the milk arouu' Into
butter. Nature Is man's greatest help,
stranger."
Dleoppotnted.
Tbe Lady Did any one call while I
was out?
The Maid No, ma'am.
The Lady That's very strange. I
wonder what people think I have an
"at home day" for. Moonshine.
Plie Cnrntrtd Him.
The city editor, wus troubled, 0t to
any misty. '
"llrfng It all," he Mehilnied. as he
road the letter addressed to lila da
pnrtmeut, "my wire has boon HKliig
me that quHt:ou for the last ween
and 1 rerusisl to he bothered--" 11
looked at the letter again nd Jumped
out of Ms chnlr. 'Tbiimlet' and guni,"
ho orled, "It's her hiindwrltliill. t"o
Now that she has learned the trick,
she'll make me settle every aoclul,
household and historical questlott that
comes up. aud I'll be right ou hand to
take the blame If I make a mistake."
for a long time he remained burled
In thought Then be rcslBiied.-Brook
lyu ICuglo. . , , "
Aa He Understood It,
Smith-Where are you living now?
Brown-In St Louis. Ever boea
there? "
Smith-No.
Hi-own Well,, come over and spend a
week with us and you'll never live
anywhere elso,
Smith Why, la the climate that fa
tal ?-Chleago News. ,
This Msans You.
II yrm have oi yl ha larnple
tin of Monopole iplew want to Ulk
to you. We are so positive that no
other brand of p'm cri'iipare
with Monopole lu ttrenRth. ptirlty and
fragrance that will ' v" '""
weight 1M. tin for a two-cent ihuiip
aid the nam of your grocer, niuso
tins retail for 10 to JtO cent each, so
that if we didn't think you would
continue tuing Monorol.- spltws we
couldn't afford to make thlaoffer. flend
in your stamp and groeer'i name at
one. Ad.lrui-s Wadhaius & Kerr linm.,
Portland, Oregon.
A Russian Law.
No RuKaian Is allowed to return to
his native country If ho has while away
changed his religion.
ltu.ollii'e Wlsard Oil battles UWi-
fii'W I'guhiHt H" ,rom "".v "' wl'wt
ever J why should you be without it
- A Mountain Town.
There is a town of 000 inhabitants
on the top of the Mount of Olive.
ff rtu m wmnM
n nl wuij. imkxt. SanjltfrVU HKJ.0Olrta I Ujllr.i,,IU
awfully t rea and warn u. b.ufcu.wi.Li4..w!AtfcauruuM.iii.
Coar In Name Only.
Cholly I'm
to rent a bit , " I
CniTjo-Then duut lt In the coif
corner.
glTO fmillr CurM
r 1 1 0 eiur Urn I"'.
Al Cough
Ills Out Reuuest.
Judge The Jury has returned a ver
dict of guilty. Have you anything to
say for yourself before aeutenc hi
passed? - .
lTlsoner Only one thing your bouor.
I trust you will see your way clear to
deduct the time occupied by my coun
sel's speech froui my term of Imprisonment
As It Sssnwd.
"What's hit business?"
"Everybody's."
Noarln-the Au Ltaitl.
Iciretulgut-Mdlle. DcKlquor la bill
ed as huvtng appeared before many of
the crowned heads of Europe. I won
der who they were? .
Frontrow All those who reigned pre
vious to the beginning of the nine
teenth century, I Imagine.
C ASTOR I A
For Infant, and Children.
The Kind -You Ha.8 Always Bought
re of
Bears
Signature
" I have, msdt moat thorough
trial of Aysr's Cherry Pectoral
am prepared to say that for alldi..
t net p tlis lungi U never disan
poiiits." J. Early Flnley, Ironton, 0.
Aycr's Chcrfy Pectoral
wont euro rheumatism;
we never said it would.
It won't cure dyspepsia;
we never claimed it. Out
it will euro coughs and
colds or all kinds. Vc
first said this sixty years
ago; we've been saying it
ever since.
Tire) Musi tit., MfcJUAU ,n;MvJI.
Oirn.uH your awinr. If lie i.
H. ih.e O..U-I ukm It, Me aieii.
.,. nm. Ti. willing.
i. tl. AVKH CO- iMwut, Mm.
Uetel
Unconvinced.
"Is your wife ever fpocciilos. with
Indignation?"
"Hhe says she t, but I have reason )nwe the juice of half a lemon bsfma
todouLtlt," I am villi. .
Anthracite Coal.
It I estimated that, allowing a yMr.
ly output of 60,000,000 tons, the stock
of anthracite lu Pennsylvania will last
80 years.
Unthnrs will find Mrs. winnow1 Booth.
Ins Hyrup the beet remedy to uh lor their
bildran during the teething period,
Fish Sauce.
A delicious fish catiee to serve with
fluli or meat Is made by putting tig
spoonnful of water to four of vinegar)
svl on the Are, thicken with yolks of
two eggs; make hut, not boiling, snd
Oood Advice.
Iltx Green scut tl to a man who adV
vertlHed to Impart Information that
would enable any one to save money.
rlx-!)ld he got the Information!
Iltx Yes. The advertiser wrote and
told him not to send any more.
Took It for Orented.
flulde (tit tbe capital) See that man
across the way? That la the speaker
of the bouse.
Jay Groen Dew tell! IIoow long bee
bis olo womun been dead hub?
Kvneioo.
"How do you sell your wood?"
"Ily the cord."
"How long tins it been cut?"
"Wjur feet"
"I mean bow long has It been since
you cut Itr
Not a bit longer than It la now."
Eczema, Psoriasis, Salt
Rheum, Tetter and Acne
Belong to that class of inflammatory and dUflfftirinif akin eruptions that
cause more genuine bodily discomfort and worry than all oilier knows
diseases. The impurities or sediments which collect in the system becauaa
of poor digestion, inactive Kidneys and other organs of vtiiuinntion are
taken up by the blood, saturating the system with ncid poisons and fluids'
Unit ooie out through the glands and ports of the akin, producing an inde
scribable itching and burning, mid " I, .n.heerfullv.iidoreo tear ...
the yellow, watery discharge forms as a sure for Kesema, I was troubled
into crusts and sons or little brown o and tried nar
.ndwhiteacaUthatdropotr.leavln.f rrsd.7.:Mi:.1.;U;t;'..VBre:
the akin tender and raw. 1 he effect ir relieved. Win. Campbell,
of the poison may cause the skin to B19 W. Central at., Wlehita, Kaa.
crack and bleed, or give it a scaly, fishy appearance; again the eruptions may
consist of innumerable blackheads and pimple or h.trd, red bumps upon
the face. Purification of the blood Is the only remedy fur these vicious skin
disease. Washes and. powder can only hide for a time the elarimr
bletnishe. S. S. S. eradicate all miisonou accumu
lation, antidotes the Uric and other acid, and
restores the blood to its wonted purity, and stimulate
and revitaliws the sluggish organs, and the impuri
ties pas off through the nutunil rhannrts ami
relieve the skin. S. S. S. is the only guaranteed purely vegetable blood
purifier. It contain no Arsenic, Potash or other harmful mineral
Write us alwut your case and our physician will advise without charge.
We have a handsomely illustrated book on skin disease, which will be sent
bee to all who wish. it. Tm swirr FECiric CO., Att
Hie Observation.
'There are two critical period In
every mnrrled woman's life," observed
the bachelor philosopher.
Tut me next" auld the very young
man.
One" replied the b. p. "1 when she
hns a hired girl and tbe other la when
she hasn't"
DIDN'T HURT A BIT!
A Hot Ons.
Cholly In what profession would
you like me to distinguish myself?
Miss Klddem Oh! Any at all a life
long explorer In Africa, for instance.
Fcheme that Failed.
Tom (tcaslngly)-Would you be sorry
to hear that I am going to marry
EXlytur
Mayme Indeed I should.
Tom Why? ,
Mayme-Beeause I really like Edyth.
Not Exactly a Compliment.
Hewitt Ignorance la bliss.
Jewett You'd better get your Ufe In
sured. - -----
Hewitt What for?
Jewett-You're liable to die of Joy.
new xorx Times.
Ills Kspcrlence.
Ills They any that every hearty
laugh adds a day to ones. Life.
Dlx Don't behove a word of it
Hlx-Why not?
Ilx A man kicked at least week
off my life recently because I laughed
when a bnnana peel onset hint on the
ildcwalk.
A I'olntei.-
You can somwtjmes see pretty well Into
the future If you get tbe right focus ou
the past fuck.
How Us Felt
"Is It a severe attack?" asked his
wife.
"Is Itr said the dyspeptic. "I feel
as though I had eaten everything ever
incimoticu in a cook bokl" I'uck.
Too 1'hlloeopblc -"It's
terribly warm," said the person
who could not suffer In silence.
Yes," unswered tho man who I eo
eood-iintured that he Irritates. "But
It's a great comfort to think that you
are not In danger of being arrested for
forgetting to clean tbe snow off your
sidewalk." Wauhlngton Star.
" Appropriate Expression.
Reginald Mis Wose, don't yon think
my Imported Egyptian cigarettes are
fine? - -
Hiss Rose Yes, they are perfectly
Killing.
At the Minstrels.
Bones Yeas, sah. Ah kin prove dat
Noah utdu't take enuf to eat on dat voy
age.
Tambo Hqw kin yo' prove it?
Bones Don't de good book say be
only took one Ham? ?
Certainly a Clever Man,
"Is he a good lawyer?"
"A good lawyer! Why. say! I'm
known him to prove the truth of what
isn't o, and not halt try."
Well Watered.
Stubb You complain about these
streets being damp. Wby, I know a
city where the street are always a
field of water.
Penn What city 1 that?
Btubb Venice.
Lore's Golden Dream.
She And will you speak to papa to
morrow, dear? ...
He (In dismay) Oh I Don't, darling
don't wait nie npl Fuck.
A Mortal Knemr.
Aunt Sally Is a good old souL I sun-
pose she hasn't an enemy In the world."
"Indeed, she bos! I know one. 8be
once spoke of Mis Bleach blood a that
girl with tbe sandy hair. "Puck. . .,
Bnt Not Hettefler.
The Author-Tbl 1 sll nonsense
about tbe literary profession being un
healthy, i
The Poet Of course. Why, It I the
greatest appetite producer in the world.
I i M ,
F - K
ft":, -V """W.1 U ..ij
iniMMiriffli i , A.ini,riiri,
W estraet, erown and brlitse teeth
wltbnut liiUleilri itn, Our method
are mutcrn and meet itlia the rprul
ol tkesioeieiwllii. t ell snd aeeua.
Klawli.eUolt Ires. Ytmt reaxmalile.
Hoth 'I'Iimim: Or.fn Mouth rati: Co
lumbia arts. 0wd renins Ull I. Suu
day (run t to IX
.Mil U III.IIUMHIM
, . - ,, ,.
- - : . - I- :
LL:2
WISE BROS., Dentists.
. w. an, iiiiii, r.lllns BWg
t.'ur. Tbll.l suit WMhlnglou Ml.
ABSOLUTE
SECURITY,
rawnofoef
1370
M Hmtm Tcea rM a?w
HIIKmrf auto Mmssf TraMA
rnm tmm lllumlratmil Bmtmlawm
Genuine
Carter's
Little Liver Pills.
Mutt Bear tlgnatur of
PsoSimll Wrappsr Belew.
No Purs Food hw Needed
lferytKidut ilw. Mucins ruwdef.
CunVe aud canned ta called
MONOPOLB
ths Purest snd llwt obtainable.
WADMAMS KB Kit BK08., PACKBUS.
Pertlend, Oreco.
Where Thieve Hide Honey.
According to Chief of Detective Mil
ler, there are curious change of fash
ion among women criminal, just a
among their more honest (liter, says
tbe Philadelphia Itecord. "Take, for
instance," said he, "the matter of how
women pickpocket conceal noon their
peron tbe coin which they ateai. Did
you ever know that tbe place of con
eealment rarie with them from venr
to year? Back In 1800 they hid tl in
tbelr hair, and m searching woman
thief the bead wa alway the Orat
thing to be examined. In the neigh
borhood of 1895 they bid It In thole
shoe. Try her shoe first. mbu i
way used to say to the female sean-h.
er In handing over woman thief
Nowadays they hide It In a small nn..y.
et sewed on their skirts In just about
the place where on a man' trousers
the little wotcb pocket Is ewed, and
II
TeST saaaU am4 I
! take ass)
iTrovw
Iwc2lwrey
FutlUOACHLV
roa Dinmuie
m iiuousiEtf.
FOB TORPID UVfJt.
TOt C0MSTIPAT10K.
rOI SALLOW IKII.
roi mcoMPLuioa
FOR SALE.
One BeeorM Hand Nlnhol A Hh.rord
iru.r. ! ojw, with wind i!k,f,
oulr run u dMj a bargain, inquire el
JOHN POOLS.
, Fsot Morrioa St., Pertleiul, Or.
CURE SICK HEADACHE,
TIIFDF Wn wz
aaa.aww IV I U 'jIa .
iriftniitS-i
rvty yuntqo and bter tnsny yml
WoUrproof Oiled Coat aem. M.JrlZ
i w nut ono wct coiled Olickera by
the pioneers and eowbovi Thi .akiX
.i i . lenerai lue that
it 14 frequently though wronofully wphed
to iw AjtJtiit?s Youu.JtkiI-
ijoon tor uie oisn of the rUiand
uw rarw lower on mt Witter
' ham m ar u ttuem urn
4010 ftTe2STT!y TRAD
JH
I I
r
MliohmU Wagon,
r j;- '.-'Taav
Best on Earth
gJiM t Hiail nf ih imwi mawrlM iwulM
U iLUL. ,"l""1K,""',r" eiieiaiiielr pay II
I "I"' Mill m mnrkH nrlne ol bMt
i. ,"L ""ie llmlwr f"r ll,. nrl !Un ,rf oul
'".."' i"l klnnnlns nS Hi oremn ef Hi
Hi JI ' wlll'''i li'rrlil Sir t to fun in
"P. whlre niii n Inmuinauu
'""iis .wi
f'"."Mj wnn r unrwMiKl (he
runiilJi. "' """' " ' "
Wbr-uke Hisnse e anr Mhwf
Whr- ew ih. D,r, Ml ivilWM.
!, lewa Mimvmr Ou.
'""" "will. imkau
suis KrHCWIMi.
!?iXr".!0iuwi pruTrnrr
police matron, find on sev.n out of tin ttwZS.ZSZSS M Ml
TO WOOEfl
fWi r" wart, a .
ia i ii "2'.".! ri i,
- wmmm TUii
i J i in - ,, ,
women thieve pocket of this Hi,a
Invisible patches that a lay mind would '
be bound to overlook." . I
Borne women show their air. n I
OflH
IKt M.l alMMOT ."1
ml ui m sua
tuiuii riMiief
rp i. .i .... TviTTTT
, -ki.YT in.,W MltlM m Wl ..f nrr,n
' liSTXl-.TJT ." , rl..M. or'-0Ulimii
k.n.T T i !? MM I lla HT.In
i."lro7l"'",','
PORTLAND, OREGON,
9. K, V, Me. 40-10.
om cover It with a coat of paint
MlverUseM ! I
I " '" 1 -1iHli iii..
l' SMaUew ttt
1 MBBMMaMMMMa