Distress
After Eating
Nausea between meals, belching, vonv
itiug, flatulence, tit of nervous head'
ache, pain in the stomach, are all
symptoms o( dyspepsia, and the lungei
It is neglected the harder ft ia to cure it,
Hood's Sarsaparilla
and Pills
Radically and permanently care it
strengthen and tone the stomach and
other digestive organs for the natural
performance of their functions.
Accept no substitute for Hood's.
"I bad dyepepel twsetr-Hv year and took
different medicinal but tot no help until t be
tas taking Hood'a Kersapartlla. Hev taken
tour bottle oj thia med loin and can now eat
ala oat anything , sloso well, bar no cram pt in
iny lome.cn, no burnine; and no dialreaa."
Ma. Wti.uaa Q. Baku nr. U Olaor St., Provi-
denoe, R. I.
tm
' . Takca On.
Hoax Funny! Did yon ever notice
itT
Joax Notice what?
Hoax Why, in the beginning of the
world a rib became a woman, and now
it's ribbons that become a woman
Philadelphia Record.
The druggist who advises yon to use
Hamlin's Wiiard Oil for the cure of
pain, does you a good turn !
A Good Mimic
"I don't see what yoh all has to (tit
so proud about, said Miss Sadie Cot
ton ball.
"Cohse you doesn'," answered Miss
Miami Brown. "I'se been studyin' de
, white folks. What yoh wants to do is
jes' put on de airs yohse'f an' let de
yuthuh folks do de gueesin' 'boot whut
de reason is."
MYtS Fei i naotlr Cored. So flta as aeiiuue
fliei eitarSm for.af tr. KltaelOreatNern
Siluril. SeodlsrVaBKSSOtnaltxrtUeaiiatraa.
He. im. s. a. mun.iML.tu areaaa. rnnmimania
Wouldn't B a Party te It
Tailor Can't you pay my bill today,
sirr 1 need tot money, as 1 m going
to oe married next week.
Customer (a confimed bachelor)
What? Going to be married? Such a
foolish thing, and on my money? Nev
er! Dvr Dorfbsrbier.
Ladle Can Wear Shoes
On sin smaller aHer using Allen's foot Cue.
a powder. It make ties. or sew eh ore eaae
Cares swollen, hot, tweeting, actaine- feet, in
(rowing nail., eorns and bunions. All drtio
nata and aline itoree, 26c Trial package FRES
by mail. Address Allen 8. Olmated, L Eoy,
Te Whom It Referred.
8unday School Teacher Now, Willie
Green, what aie we to understand when
the Bible epeakg of people who, having
eyes, see not.
Willie Green I guess it must mean
policemen. Philadelphia Record.
I am an re Piso'a Cure for Consumption
saved my life three years ago. Mas. Too.
Hobbihs. Maple street, Norwich, H. Y,
Feb. 17, 1800.
Conditio Improving.
Easterner (on his vacation) I be
lieve there is less of vice and crime
among the Indians out here than there
need to be. Is there not?
Commancbe Pete You're right,
pard. Th' haint ex many Injuns es
they used to be. Chicago Tribune.
MOT THIST
We eter One Bandred Dollar Reward tor an
eaae ef Cattarrb tbat can Dot beenied or Hall
Catarrh Care.
1. 1. C a bhbi A Co., Prop., Toledo, O.
W th andereignad. hare known r. J. Ckeney
lor the paet lSreara, and belter bin perfect:?
heaorabi In all buineea transactions and in
and ally abl to carry outanroblisatlonsmade
by their firm.
Wan A TaCii,
Whole! Dreifgltta. Toledo,
Wildim Kissax Maavnr,
Whokle Drogf ma, Toledo. O.
naii ouaiarm care la taken Internally, arnnf
Ireotiy en th blood and mucous larfaoesof
eystem. race vae per Dottle. Sold r all
JUiTa Family Mile are th beat.
Onto Hit Game.
Clubb My wife's going around with
a chip on her shoulder today.
Chubb That so?
CiuDb Yes, sue found one in my
pocket tbis morning. Philadelphia
frees.
The Oldest and Best.
' A. S. S. fe a combination of roots
and berba of great curative powers,
and when taken Into the circulation
searchfaoct and rearng all manner
of poisons from the Used, without
the feast shock or harm to the system.
Ob the uoutiary. the general health
begins to improve from the first dose,
for 8. 3. S. is not only a blood purifier,
but an excellent tonic, and strength
ens and builds up the constitution
while purging the blood of impuri
ties. S. S. S. cures all diseases of a
blood poison origin, Cancer, Scrofula,
Rheumatism, Chronic Sores and
Ulcers, Eczema, Psoriasis, Salt
Xbetrm, Herpes and similar troubles,
tad is an infallible cure and the only
antidote for that most horrible disease,
Contagious Blood Poison.
A record of nearly fifty years of
successful cures is a record to be proud
of. S. S. S. is more popular today
than ever.. It numbers its friends by
the thousands. Our medical corres
pondence is larger than ever in the
history of the medicine. Many write
to thank us for the great good S. S. S.
has done them, while others are seek
ing advice about their cases. All
letters receive prompt and careful
attention. Our physicians have made
a life-long study of Blood and Skis Dis
eases, and better understand such cases
than the ordinary practitioner who
makes a specialty 01 no on disease. .
We are doing great
food to suffering
umanity through
lour consulting die- :
' partment, and invite '
you to write us if you have any blood
or skin trouble. We make no charge I
whatever lor this service.
' m wan rEcw ca. Atlanta, u.
(I Ssalwk S r4klMe Ovoa Oa t
LEVELING TENDENCIES.
Eaarliab. Aristocrat Who Are Makta
Moaey la Trade.
Americans cannot lay claim to being
the only people who now take the sensl
ble view that no man Is degraded by
engaging In a lawful business. England
la coming round to the same way of
thinking. The old order of thing Is
changed. It la the aristocrats now who
serve many of the retail buyers with
groceries, vegetables, coal, and other
necessaries of life. The following list
of titled tradesmen would seem te
pbaslae the statements:
Lord Hampden Is said to supply the
best cream cheese, and his carta, filled
with all the fresh dairy produce of hla
farm In Sussex, go dally on tbelr West
End routes.
tord Londonderry will deliver half a
ton of coal with promptness. A grand-
son of WUIIam IV. prefers a more re-1 become perfect, la gradually being re
tiring method of meeting the demands placed by Quite unpleasantant flavors.
of hla customers. Through the medium
of the post he sends out bis nackets of
tea all over the country.
Amomr the smaller ahoo-owners who
belong to the old aristocratic families
of Enrland la Lord Harrington, who
opened a shop a few years ago on his
London property that be might sell
fruit and vegetablea grown at Elvaston
Castle. The late Lord Wlnchllsea was
the pioneer of the fresh vegetable cm
sad which started the shop In Long
Acre where all kinds of British farm
may be bought at the lowest prices.
Lord Portsmouth haa gone Into th
mineral-water trade, a bottling estab
lishment for which he has started. Th
restaurant business seems In high
favor. Mr. Algy Burke was one of the
first of the "upper ten" to put his en
ergiea Into the management of a
taurant He succeeded In making
fashionable the restaurant known as
Willis' Rooms. Two other young men
of gentle birth have gone Into the ho
tel business. These are the half-broth
er of Lord Trevor and Mr. Moatyn,
of the family of Lord Vaux of Harrow-
Gen. They have opened an hotel at a
new watering-place.
Although the interest In millinery
shops owned and managed by society
women baa somewhat abated, tbla Held
of trade baa found new worker. A
man well known In society Is the latest
milliner. He has taken a shop In Bond
street a short distance from one over
the door of which he painted "Th
Countess of Warwick," and under the
name of Camllle he successfully car
ries on his business.
Boer in a Box.
A most remarkable story haa been
furnished to an Express representative
by the second officer of the R. M. 8.
Goth, which has just arrived homo
from the Cape.
On the Goth's arrival on Christmas
morning at Ascension Island, on the
homeward voyage, a Boer commandant
was discovered on board In a large
wooden case forming part of the cargo.
The "consignment" had been received
on board at St. Helena, and shipped as
a box of Boer curios for England. Th
measurements of the case were:
Length, 4 feet 3 Inches; breadth, 2 feet
Inches; and height, 2 feet
When the box was opened the con
tents proved to be a live Boer command
ant, who gave bis name as Smonerborg,
and owned that he was a prisoner on
parole.
Standing over six feet In height, he
was helped out of his cramped "room1
in a weak and exhausted state. He had
there been cribbed, cabined and coo
fined for Ave days.
Enough food was stored to last him
for his voyage to England, but In being
stowed away in the bold his water bot
tles had been broken.
He was eventually landed at Ascen
sion under an escort, to await res hip
ping on a man-of-war for St Helena,
where he will Join bis brother Boers
In captivity.
ine box In which the prisoner was
found was a most clever contrivance.
apparently of Boer carpentersblp, with
eliding panels. It contained clothing.
biscuits, potted meats, books, and a
candle and matches. London Express.
Spinster in Deamark.
Denmark is the one country In the
world, presumably, that place a pre
mium upon sptnaterhood. A celibacy
Insurance company has been founded.
If the bolder of a policy In the Celi
bacy la unmarried at the age of forty
she Is considered Immune snd gets s
life annuity. If she marries before
forty she forfeits her policy snd pre
miums. Between sn snnulty snd a
husband a Danish maiden's heart Is
often rent with Indecision. In Sweden
and Norway there are several homes
for spinsters. One of these at least Is
as attractive as It Is unique. It Is the
monument to the memory of sn exceed
ingly wealthy old man who, dying more
than two hundred years sgo, left the
major part of bis fortune to the old
maids among his descendants. A su
perb home was built furnished, snd
managed by salaried trustees. It flour
ished and hss continued. Any unmar
ried woman who can prove blood re
lationship to the founder of the Institu
tion Is entitled to sdmlsslon In th
home. 8he Is given a suite of rooms,
a private servant, private meals, snd Is
subject to no rules save such ss or
dinary good behavior demands.
Grimly Grotesque.
The following tale anent Li Hung
Chang reminds one of th grim Jesting
f Mr. Gilbert's Mikado, who will be
remembered ss having Indulged In
pleasantries regarding "something with
boiling on in It"
LI Hung Cbsng had, beyond all
doubt, an Iron will and a very unsenti
mental neart unce, wnen he was
Viceroy of Cbi-Ll, a man who bad tarn-
perea witn a teiegrapn wire was
brought before him. The man wrung
bis bands and begged for mercy, say
ing that he would never touch the wire
again. "Don't be vexed, my good fel
low," said Li, "nor trouble yourself
any further about the matter. I'll sea
that It does not happen again." Then
be turned to the gaolers snd gave th
order "Cut off his head!"
He Understood.
Uncle Josh You know what the law
yers mean by "alleged," don't you?
Uncle Hiram Of course! They mean
tbat the lawyers on the other side is
17 1 u , jruva.
It sometimes happens that a man's
boos is bis mother-in-law's cast,
"SCIENTIFIC" BEEF.
The Rom Beef of Old Kn aland Is
Doterloratlna.
England would not be England with
out lta famous roast beef. Patriotic
Britons are) atill uuder the delusion
that by paying the price they can ob
tain the genuine article "as good as
ever It was, air."
This la another of the pleasant Ac
tions which the faithful journalist U
obliged to shatter.
a matter of fact, the distinctive
flavor which won the admiration of
King James has been slowly lost ow
lug to modern methods of fattening
cattle.
Tenderness and Juicy quality uu-
doubtedly have been gained by modern
nreeaera owing to ueir scienunc reea-
tag of oxen; but the original "beefy-
navor, which took about three years to
For instance, ana tne untisn rami'
Association la the authority con-
suited by the writer, Devonshire beef
distinctly "turnippy- taste, aue
th roots and turnips upon which the
neaata are rea.
In spring beef of this flavor la more
noticeable, for It Is during the winter
months, when pasturage Is scare, that
the animals have to be fed on roots.
If for one month only, Just before
slaughtering, the cattle were fed on
hay this objection would be removed;
but our cattle breeders are In such
hurry to send the animals to th mar
ket that this month cannot be spared
when th demand for English beef Is
great and pressing.
Oilcake la another artificial food that
affects th flavor. Th taste of the oil
Is most unpleasantly perceptible when
th food la used to any great extent
But it fattens very rapidly, so farmers
us It Six weeks only Is necessary to
get an ox Into market condition on oil
cake.
What then. I the finest beef for ta
ble? The answer will com as a shock.
It Is, according to an expert the
American who "succeeds again."
American beef, bred from the finest
English stock, haa many advantages
Over th home-grown animals.
The pasturage In America is Ideal
Sunshine Is abundant and sunshine has
a great effect In the way of Improving
the flavor of beef. The moat exposed
portions of th animal, such as that
from which the sirloin Is taken, are al
ways the best
American beef comes over in chilled.
not frosen chambers. If the "ice geta
Into the meat" the flesh becomes taste
less, but a cold chamber, the tempera
ture of which does not fall below
freeaing point arrest decomposition
without spoiling th flavor. London
Mall.
CUT OUT HER DOUBLE CHIN.
Dellcat Piece of Bnraorr to Bare a
Woanaa from BunTerina.
To save herself from death bv an Va
cation and Incidentally to cure a double
chin of prodigious development Mrs.
Florence Shipley, of Baltimore. Md,
has submitted to one of the strangest '
surgical operations on record. Her chin
was allt ooen In four olacea and a km
quantity of fat removed from her neck.
The operation was performed at th
University Hospital on Lombard street
A slip of the knife by s hair's breadth
and the patient would never hare
awakened
from the ether. This she
fully understood, but preferred the risk
to further suffering.
Mrs. Shipley Is a tall woman and
stout In proportion to her weight. For
years, however, an unnatural growth
of flesh under her chin baa created
pressure on the carotid arteries. All
efforts to reduce It proved fruitless. The
still healthy arteries, as time only In
creased the deposit were crushed be
neath the weight of fat
The carotid arteries carry the blood
from the heart to the brain, and their
deformity soon produced not only pain
but a lack of supply of blood that
caused periods of unconsciousness. Res
piration was slso so far Interfered with
that the unfortunate woman dreaded
suffocation.
So skillfully wss the operation per
formed by three surgeons at th hospi
tal, says the New York World special,
that It is believed the four Incisions
will leave no scar. For two daya Mrs.
Shipley remained in th hospital with
her head In a plaster cast
Th Olsigliiig Girt
If you tell her she's modest or tU her
she s vain,
She'll giggle.
She heeds not the feet that It gives yon
a pain,
That giggle.
Though you ma address her la serious
key.
Make speech that pre eat so ooeaaios
for glee.
Or even for smiling, her answer will be
A giggle.
She runs to th door whsa her Chawlsy
boy rings
And giggles.
WhUe helping him take off his oold win
ter things
She sissies.
Whsa seated for sparking witala th
bright rays
Of dollar per gas or the grate's cheery
bias
he snswers the angary things that h
eaya
Wka giggles.
la eharek If she catches a girly chum's
ye
She giggles.
There's ao provocation, shs oossa't know
why,
Jnst giggle.
Shell srch op her eyebrows like bsck of
the est
That steads off the dog la the rear of the
at
And give her eyelashes s humorous bat
And giggle.
If esUed to the bier ef s dead, silent
friend,
She'd riaeie.
If Gabriel's trump should bring fim te
aa end,
She'd giggle.
If op to the great judgment bar she were
led
To list to her fete wha th qniek snd the
deed
She'd think H wss funny and shske her
fool hesd
And giggle.
Denver Post.
A Chronic Borrower.
Brown Jones Is borrowing a good
deal of trouble, I guess.
Smith Well, let him have all he
wants; he'll never pay it back.-Detrolt
Fro Press.
A Rod I Hdtl.
Mrs. Good sole Why, Johnny, are
you just going home now? Your
mother's been looking for you all alter-
noon.
Johnny Yea'm, I know.
Mrs. Good sole Just think how wor
ried she must be I
Johnny Oh, she's near the end o'
her worryin', I'm jest beginulu'
mine.
It look. Tenth,
"Will you carve, Mr. Cleaver?" asked
the landlady, as she placed th turkey
on the boarding house table.
"No, thank yon," replied th face
tious boarder, "let Mr. Hackett. He's
a stone cutter." Philadelphia Bulla
tin.
Three of 1 Kind,
Ella Bella told me that you told
her that secret I told you not to tell
her.
Stella She's a mean thing t told
bet not to tell you I told her.
Ella Well, 1 told her I wouldn't tell
you she told me so don't tell her I
did. Brooklyn Life,
Pur Accident
Ascnm What's the matter with Jen
kins?
Gobang Mot with an accident while
bunting.
A scum You don't ssyl
Gobang Yes, ha wss hunting for
trouble, and he accidentally ran up
against me. Philadelphia Press.
Doubled ss Alimony.
"Oh. yes, daughter's fully twice as
happy as she was with her husband."
"How so?"
"Why, he used to give her an al
lowance of only 110. and now he haa to
pay her fL'u."
Shear Noamiuc
"He never washes his hands."
"Nonsense!"
"N01 it's a fact."
"then he's a crank, eh?"
"Not at all. He says it would take
too long. He employs 200 in bis mill."
ANOTHER HEMAnKABta CAS
Whleh lb Doctor Failed
to Gar or
Understand.
A medical man, as a rale, dislikes to
acknowledge the value of a proprietary
medicine. In fact, professional eti
quette debars him from doing so.
There are many eminent physiciana,
those most avanced in thier profes
sions, who give full credit to the great
curative properties of Vogeler's Cura
tive Compound from the fact that it is
manufactured by an old and reliable
company, proprietors of St. Jacobs Oil,
from the formula of a brother physi
cian, who today stands In the front
ranks of th most eminent medical
men, and on account of its intrinsic
merit it is largely prescribed by the
medical profession.
Mrs. hettleton graphically relates the
particulars of her own case, which will
doubtless be of interest to msny of our
reauers:
1 "a Deen n intense sufferer for
mny year irra dyspepsia, liver and
kidney troubles, when a pamphlet was
placed in my hands, and, although at
that time I had been bedridden for
more than six months, I determined
after reading some of the cases similar
to mine, which had been completely
curea Dy V0Seler Curative Compound
to try some, especilly ss my doctors
failed to even benefit me, snd I had
given up all hope of ever being well
again. The very first does of 15 drops
relieved me. It wss not long before I
was sbls to get up and about; three
months from taking the first dose I was
enjoying better health than I had been
for 14 years. I should not have been
alive today had it not been for Vogel
er s curative Compound."
Mrs. Nettleton said: "I hava reconv
mended Vogeler's Curative Compound
lor inaigvation and eczema, and in
every cam it has proved a cure, beyond
doubt. Mr. Bwinbank, onr chemist,
has sent me the names of no end of peo
ple who have been cured by Vogeler's
Curative Compound. By the wsy, th
proprietors nave so much confidence in
this great London physician's discov
ery, that they will send a sample free
to any person sending name snd sd
dress, naming this paper." St. Jacob
Oil Co., 205 Clay St., Baltimore, Md
A Saint Upon Earth.
"Pa," said Willie, "what does it
mean to say a man is 'one of nature's
noblemen?' "
tint 01 nature's noblemen,' my
son," replied the old gentlemen, with
a significant look at his better half, "is
a man who smiles when he gets some
ridiculous, cheap gift for Christmas,
and exclaims: 'How nice! Just what
I wanted!'" Catholic Standard and
Times,
Mental Exsrcla.
Bernice What is the nature of this
brain work Cholly has undertaken?
Hortense-He has mad his vslet
take a back seat, and he thinks for him
self what suits he will wear each. day.
Sh Knew Mar liiubaad.
Peddler Wouldn't you like soms
mottoes for your house, mum? It's
very cheering to a husband to see s
nice motto on the wsll when he come
home.
Mrs. Daggs Have you got on that
says, "Better 1st than never?" Week
ly Telegraph.
Th Tandem Habit
'Why do Mr. Paintbrush snd his
wife promensde in single file?"
'They used to rid a tandem, and
tbey can't get over th tandem habit."
Fliegend Biaetter.
Th fruit f faith,
Sunday School Teacher Faith, chil
dren, is believing in the existence of
something we can't see. For exsmple,
when you buy bananas yon know that
there is a delicious fruit Inside the
tough skin. Do you understand?
Children Yes, ma'am,
Sunday School Teacher Wall, what
is faith?
Children Bananas.
Makes Monty Railing Popcorn.
A. L. Schaeffer, of Edgar county,
Illinois, last year harvested the Isrgest
crop of popcorn ever gathered in the
world. From his 102 acres he hsd
1,800 bushels, a yield of a little over 17
bushels to th acre. It cost blm f 17
an acre to raise, tort, shell and pay
To rJotisaro of
la thia workaday world few women
ar so plaeod tbat phyaloal exertion
I not constantly demanded of them in
their daily life.
We make a special appeal to mothers
OX Urge ramlliea wnoae wora la never
done, and many of whom suffer, and
suffer for lack of Intelligent aid.
To women, young or old, rich or
poor, we extend an invitation to accept
free advlos. Oh, women I do not let
Mas. Cassia Bsuaviua.
your lives be aaerl floed when a word of
advice at th flrat approach of weak
ness, may fill your future years with
healthy joy. Address a letter to Mrs.
Pink ham's Laboratory. Lynn Mass.,
aad yon will not be disappointed.
When 1 began to take Lydla K.
Pink ham's Vegetable Compound I waa
not abl to do my housework. I sui
fersd terribly at time of menstruation.
Several doctors told me they could do
nothing for me. Thanks to th rink
bam advice and rood id n I am now
wall, and eaa do th work for eight la
lta family, v
I would recommend Lydla E. Pink.
im't Vegetable Compound to all
mothers with large famtliea." Mas.
Cassis Bbxlbvtuj, Ludington, Mich.
Trouble Ahead.
"What are vou crying for?"
"M big brudder's gottin a llckin'."
"Ah, 1 seal You're sorry for blm."
"Naw, I'm sorry fer myself. He's
goin' ter lick m fer tellin' on him."
New York Evening Journal.
Stddttt ef AIL
He It is a pleasure to meet a woman
who has a sense of humor.
She But, really, one doesn't need s
sens of humor to lsugh st th things
you say. Life.
Shs wss Right
Wife Do you know I hav s very
little mouth?. In the gla it doesn't
look large enough to hold my tongue.
Husband (testily) It doesn't.
Ceatd Not Bt Called HouaawKe.
"And so yon are married, Jack,"
said dear old Aunt Polly. "I hope
sh is a good housewife." "Well," re
plied Jack Ritchie, "she's been a good i
fashionable hotel wile moat of the time
since our wedding." Philadoplhia
Press.
A Model Child.
Dickie Pa, were you a gooder boy'n
me when you were as little as me?
Father Yes, indeed, Dickie. I was
always a very good boy, but somehow
or other I had a great many serious snd
painful misunderstandings with my
parents.
Lieutenant Governor! Is Offlcs.
In Alabama, Nebraska and Washing
ton th present governors were elected
ss lieutenant governors, and ar filing
vacancies caused by the death or renig
nation of the governors.
la Enjland.
."Kind sir, I s'pose yer don't know
of no one what dont' want to hire no
body to do nothink, do yer?"
"Ye, I don't."
Tsblt Decortllos.
Four rather small fern dishes filled
with growing ferns ar sometime used
to outline the center square of the din
ner board, the actual renter being oc
cupied by a slender, rather tall glaos
vase, which may bold any flower pre
ferred, two or three stems with foliage
being sufficient.
.-ei t.,g' t
XVrf elable Prcparalionfor As
similallng thcFoodandReflula
lingllKSlomoxhsal Bowls of
Promotes Dige9llon,CheerfuI-
ness and Kestconiains neither
Opuim.Morphiite nor Mineral.
WOT NARCOTIC.
Jty tfOUa-SiNVIlPfTOHXM
ffrnWfcr sal -
eWsVw iftalast
A perfect Remedy forCoiwllpa
Tion. Sour Stomach.Diarrhoca
Worms .Cortvulsions.Fevrnsh
neaa and Loss OF SLEEP.
Fax Simla gignalurs of
NEW YORK.
Iri.;'j
exact eocY or wrappcr.
mmf'
Prom Enlliitd Mm te Admlril.
Rear Admiral 0rr W. FarrmhiiH,
United State iiavy, who wss inspection
ofllcor at Charleston iiavyyard up Ui
about a year ago, '! " on
the retired lint, is the only ollltwr in
the service who reached the grade of
roar admiral from the position of en
litsed man. Admiral Farsiiliolt ot
tered the navy first a a volunteer dtir
ing the Civil war, and lias a record of
-noi than 10 years sea service.
Jealousy,
"I understand Mies OoMstnmlard's
engagement has been broken. What
was the cause?"
"Jealousy."
"Jealousy?"
"Yes, hot dog became too fond of
him."
la Iht Ark.
"Don't annoy your father," whis
pered Mr. Noah to Shorn. "He's In a
bad humor."
"What's wrong with him?" quorled
Shem, curiously.
"Why," replied Mrs. Noah, "he
went out on the hnrlcane deck to let
on of the doves loose, and the wind
turned his umbrella wrung side out!"
Ohio State Journal.
Horitihoti in th Orient
The tye of horsoidioe common in the
Orient is a plate fitted so as to rover
tlie entire bottom of the hoof, with a
perforation in th renter. The wolglit
of tlie averngo hornexhoe is throe-fourths
of a pound. The native smiths usually
cut these plates from sheet of wrought
iron and rudely shai thorn for tlie
purpose in view.
Deaf Mutt Uitd Threatening language.
For using threatening 'Men I and
dumb" language toward hi father and
brother a dt( mute has been bound
over to keep the peace at Illackbiirn,
hngland.
Mag,k Orchid of Java.
In Java there is an orchid, the gram
matophylum, a II the flowers of which
open at once, as If by tho vtrke of a
fairy wand, and they also all wither to
gether.
Woman's Atqualntance,
Herr Do you know my wife?
Frau Very well,
Herr Rut I don't reneinber intro
ducing her to you.
Frau Quite true, but I have a new
maid who waa with your wife two
months. Fliegend Biaetter.
Cut Up.
"Doesn't your old barber shave you
any more?"
"No; he s entirely too musical."
"Whistled while he worked, eh?"
"Oil, no, but while he was shaving
me th other day a street piano outaide
began playing a ragtime tune, and he
kept time to it with hi raxor." Phil
adelphia Press.
Two f Kind,
McJigger I couldn't sleep last night.
Fire engines dashed down our street
and disturbed tne.
Thingumbob A fir alarm wakened
me, ton.
McJigger That so?"
Thingumbo) Yes. I dreamed that
I had died. Philadelphia Press.
A Natural Conclmlos,
Mollie What makes so many cat
tails grow on this pond. Charlie?
Charlie Oh, they grow up from lit
tle kitties that people have drowned
here, of course.
Th Source of laiormalloa.
"flow are you feeling, today?" ssked
the personal friend.
"I don't know," answered the mon-
: arch, wearily. "I haven't read th
papers yet. Washington htar.
So Mesa.
Creditor (sngry) I tell you, 1 want
my money.
Voice From Beyond Well, you can't
gei uioou oui 01 a turnip.
Creditor No, but I can out of a beet.
IN YOUR
You Find the Difference
nrnPCnPPfc'c llPP Klllpr f iP ' I'" ' twar ih ro.is ejulcklr Seetrorlnt all
UlUGMJGb. O kibe nlllC! lice. Tlie nne. la nmhliis in imiarma t ihoonaiiiiT.i.
vawi f mir Phirpn .Tl
WUlC IUUI WIllvjAGIId. elilraetia - irvnta
ala nvmlheolil. 'in
rvnium sub vv., tarn r rawer
For Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have
Always Bought
Bears
Sign
For Over
Thirty Years
mire S Air
M . I if
AfiT Use
Weak?
" I suffered terribly and wis
trsmsly wk for 12 yssrs. Th
doctor said my bleed was all
turning to water, At Issl I tried
Aysr's Ssrssparllla, snd was sooa
f cling sll right stain,"
Mr. J. W. Fla'a. Hadlyms, Ct
No matter how long you
have been ill. nor how
poorly you may be today,
Ayer s Sarsaparilla is the
best medicine you can
take for purifying and en
riching the blood.
Don't doubt it, put your
whole trust in it, throw
away everything else.
li e s em. an
A.k rr what h tkleaa at Area
Saraaiiarlll. M. knewaall aa.Ml tat. stems
MS raiiniiT eSfia. hM aSele aa4
"UTomCe,U.,s
...... ., . .L . ... ' -J..- - L L..X..,1J
UafsfhMst Errr.
"What do you mean by this, air?"
demanded the angry advertiser.
"What's the mattor?" Inquired the
publisher of the Rlngtown Bugle.
"This advertisement of 'our delicious'
canned meats from the beat Chicago
houses,' you'v mail It read 'horses.' "
00 VOU
WORK m Tilt VET?
THE ORIGINAL
OILCO ,
CL.OTMIN&I
svu tortcnoN
"-..-. ANSIS
v:himnun. rat itavicr
10S -atAi rxiiiFi ,
arKWINO FULL Line O SaSmcHTJ AND MAT
A J.TQWeB CO.pO3T0N.MA3, i
jftfH Buoancs.
(llvIMasllavlloa MMiaaarihtaf ao
th SMtrkei ai airuln Ilk tia prk-e. k
csum uev ar aal '('- maMrial la
atanS "orret road" Imm rfer on
he-tiea, kreo oa .atria. ) .
iiww m aia, .ei eiN IrrMwane
( foal aura tbat fna or mum rsr aieo
' worth, ask for s RBe (.In" or O
Miti'isr(llMor Macs'. Weioares
lo iheot.
afWetsVatt, laerls A Mmwmm Oa.
Seoul, Hfnkaas, Bote. rorlleo, Or.
BISHOP SCOTT ACADEMY
foi Hand, Oregon. rounl4 lef.
i Rom School for Bert
lilitvy ui iuiil Tralili.
Writ lor Itliiairatod Calais.
ARTHUR C. NUWILL, PrlaclpsI
WASHING MADE EASY
Ily using my Washing Tablets. No acids.
Hend AO rents for tnekaa-e sufficient for
3 months, with full directions. Agents
,,,1,1
W, (J. POWELL,
Bos 606, Portland, Oregon.
POCKET!
t "--sslltt
loo
Detween alekly. lon.jr rhli-tona anrt heatihv, ntntl fowls,
on lirlnre no mi'iirf 10 rnur nonkel. the olhoi aiosn laoner
In ,nn, I...,. U k..i. ill . t. a -
froiH.r . h..in ra t in
mori.llly. I'ullrle be m laylua Sr or
to At) per eenu mnr esse produced.
mtrmml, fwjusf. Or.
tlaa Sure la
dllee. aad the seal
null ahoa Sealer everywhere.
Caallsa I The awaalae feaea
W. L. Douclaa' name aad srtea
a lain pee ea the boibM.
rueuraie tl Mlm aa aasla aka
jaeeaeiia toe run,
ayasSfSnaSBafeaw
I mw smm, I at pair.
umtzz i.26tt, 74 Palm,
Wis l.&fift,7i0 Pair.
Suesea Mar Com Oevelee Is fur rears,
TM RtASONS
w. I..IoiirM umkM ae4 aalla more men fast
Snrt ej.M.!ioe than any other lwomaiiuf.otnr.ie.
?W . I. loiilae a o ami i to alioea oUwen Mile bf
MewllhSa ioaw! Sa.maWaof oiherm.kfeare
imnd is be ma! aa smmI. Tir will outwear Iwe
pair, ol ordlnarr la.oo and U U rtieoe.
Mae of tm Seat eeisera, Imlailn fatest
Corves KI4, Ooreos Off ' Sa(M jraeeerse.
IM ftler Into,, w, arw.r. SIM Sat M
W L.K.b,Im a ! e. LIMH aaaoet fe eaue.
Shoo bjr msll.Sft els. euro, fistalo
free. W. I,. IWIKll.m. Wrorkloa. .
1
New Yemr Resolution
sejsrall, ba Ueaut, srHnaa a4 loo
A ails, a4tipwilosiasi
Initltiiti, ?&A1Z$SZ
AT. T. K.O.
Mo. 15-ISet.
vrsltlng to sdesrtlssrs pleas I
MA I SoMbraTCoa,
.V -ft3ZtXa.fl. American
m 'aWlles'
ground rant.
aisa tais paper. J