The Oregon mist. (St. Helens, Columbia County, Or.) 188?-1913, October 04, 1901, Image 6

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The Oregon mist., October 04, 1901, Image 6

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Newspaper Page TextThe Stimulus of Pure Blood Thai is what Is required by vry orjtm of tha body, far Uio proper performance of its functions. It prevents biliousness, dyspep sia, constipation, kidney complaint) rheumatism, catarrh, nervousness, weakness, falntness, pimples, blotches, and all cutaneous erup tions. It perfects all the vital processes. W. P. Keeton, Woodstock. Ala., took Hood' Banaparilla to make kit Moot pur. Ho write that be had sot felt mil bat tired for m Urn. Before h hid finished th lrt Settle of thl soedlelne ho fait better and when a kad takes the second era Ilk enotier man-fro. fro tkat tired feeling aad able to do hi work. Hood's Sarsaparilla Promises to cure and keeps the promise. Accept no substitute, but get Hood's today. A Footnote. " Charley I think Coleman the most careless fellow I ever saw. The other morning he got up at 6 o'clock and went gunning, wearing his patent leather shoes. You ought to have seen them. The wet grass took all the varnish off. James That must nave been a case of the patent running out Ex change. Thi signature to on very bos of th goamlae Laxative BromoQuinine TMt Discovered "They had been married a year be fore anybody knew it, and even then their secret was discovered only by accident." "Indeed?" "Yes, one evening at a card party they thoughtlessly played partners, and the way they quarreled let the whole thing out I" Detroit FreePress. DKAPNK8S CAN HOT B CT7KKD Bt local application, a they cannot roach to enoeasod portion ol Ih ear. Than U only on Way to c u re drainera. and that i by eonstlta. tioaal remedies. Deafness la ceased by an tn Basned condition of the mucoua lining of the Suetaebtea Tube. When thi tub geta ln Basied von have a rumbling aonnd or impesr lect bearing; and when It 1 entirely cloned deafness ie the reeult, and unless the Infiammsv tlon can be taken out and thi tube reetored to It normal condition, bearing will be destroyed sorever; nine eases out ol tea are caused by catarrh, which i nothing bnt an inflamed condition oi the mucous surface. We will give On Hundred Dollar for any as of Deainees (caused by catarrh) that can sot be cured by Hall's Catarrb Cora. Bead lot aifculam free. F. J. CHKNBT CO. Tctadc, a Sold by Drag tsta, M Hall 'a resell y PUI are the beat. la Jack' Case . "Is your son Jack going Lack to college?" "No. The college president seems to agree with Mr. Schwab about it's being a waste of time. "Cleveland Plaindealer. Crvclty. Sue Mabel was terribly disap- pointed last night. - Belle In what way? Sue Why, Charley called and said he was going to tell her the old, old story. Belle And did he propose? Sue No; he told her about Jonah and the whale. Philadelphia Record. Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow Sooth ing Syrup the best remedy to us for their eiillaren during tb teething period. His Originality. Sally Gay Percy Languish is quite an original thinker, isn't he? Dolly Swift Yes, indeed. He thinks I'm in love with him. Har per's Bazar. On Better. Mistress Mary! Mary! I've just broken my hand glass. You know how nnlucky it is seven years' un happiness Maid Ob, that's nothin', ma'am. How about me? I've just smashed the large glass in the drawing room 1 Glasgow Times. FITS Peraasnanflv Cared. He fits er sariiuMsmet aftar flraC'laa'aii.anf ft Kllaa'a fti-aa Nam SsTnaJ Sand for fit BE a..e trial bonis aad areas. Da. a. H Suss. Ltd.. wsi ArchiiL.Fauadalelua.Jra A Fifteen Minute Club. New York has a - unique organ iza tion in a Fifteen Minute club. It is composed of newspaper men. Tbey meet every night at 10 o'clock sharp and promptly adjourn at 10:15. Its objects are purely social. No set papers or speeches are permitted. 4 .jmEDQ lllso Rheumatism is due to an excess of acid in the fclood. When thi escapes through the pore of th akin, aa it often does, it produces some form of skin eruption some itching disease like Eczema or Tetter but when these little tubes or sweat gland axe suddenly closed by exposure to cold and sudden chill ing of lie body, then the poisons thrown off by the blood, finding so outlet, settle in membranes. muscles, tiarae aad nerves. These parts become greatly inflamed, feverish and hot ; darr-like, maddening pains follow in quick succesaion, the muscles become extremely tender, the nerve break down and the sufferer is soon reduced to a state of helplesaneaa and misery. This acid poUon penetrate the joint and Kern to dry out the natural oils, and the legs, arm and fingers become so stiff and son that every movement is attended with excruciating pain. Liniment, plasters, electricity and baths, while their use may give temporary ase, cannot be called cure, for the disease returns with every change of the weather. - 8.8. S. cures Rheumatism b Thra year Aa-o X Kad a awvara) attack of I worlrinty a anmnlata .hafin, in U J,' Wa a f,.?101 the blood : the acids are neutral, triad all ska Chyaiclans la our cltv. but Bona healthy blood that 1 of thees ooxiid do ma car permanent wood. X I camea to the irritated, aching need all th rheumatic euros I could near of, I muscles and joints, soothes and but reoalved no beaafit. After borinninf S. B. I heals them. 8. 8. S. cure Rheu- m. a waa taueyta ei me pain and have ci In Seen and strciurtn and my general ta beStae than foe years. X eonaldeie B. She rrandeat blood adl eat blood asadiela in th heartllv reenunend it to asy ea ina reiiaf front th torture ef Khcnmatina. B. y. OAJSOOST, Union, 0. O." . . ... ... ,. . . - hot. loucn me disease and lead to ruinon habit. Alkalte and the potash and mineral remedies so often pre. cnbed, affect the tender lining of the stomach aad weaken the disestioa. thus addmg another burden to the already weak and impoverished blood. 8. & 8. con. f1 .dcfe?? A l nT kind, t.ut ia a timple. vegetable remedy and the mot perfect blood purifier known. Send for our book on Rhea, autism and write our physician, if you wish any in.orm.tion or advice. W would t glad to trail you a book free; we charge nothmy whatever for medical advioa, TK3 SWIFT SPECIFIC COMPANY, ATLANTA, OA. Mew th Fuu Starved. 'That hand-me-down suit you're wearing," remarked River, "remind us of an unripe watermellon," "Why!" asked Brooks. ' I "Because it' so different. One isn't cut to fit. and the other isn't lit to out." I It wai then that Brooks biased away at him. Pick-Me-Up. . , . H Could Not Wla a Woman. Mother Ethel is the very image of what I was at her age. He Really I I shouldn't have thought it possible! Mother (coldly) May ask why? He (seeing his error, and striving to rectify it) Oh er I was forgetting what a long time ago that must have been t Punch. Th Ingradltnt, "What did you find on the vessel which washed ashore this morning?" asked the cannibal king of his chief. "Only a Shipwrecked shoemakor and a case of sherry, sire". " 'Tis well, elavo. Make me a herry cobbler for dinner. I have often heard of such a delicasy." Baltimore American. Floatation for Bravery. " Word reaches us of a small band of eoiuier wno oeiu at uav tai , v huihwi . I Filipinos for oyer two bout until assist ancjt arrival therehv aavine an ininortailt ! twin from capture. For lhir bravery 1 .1 -1 1 . . mn.tt..n Ta ha IUCI ..I. Mil ,11.11 IIWIIIUH'- - i brev it is neoessarv to hav strong nerve .a I .a: : If .ti.,a..h la weak and You suffer (row indigestion, heartburn, " belching, nervousne or in ' (omnia, you should try Hostettcr' Stom- sen miter, it win cure you. - .. A Mistake : Consumer Say, what kind of a cigar do you call this? It's the worst tobacco I ever tasted. Dealer Beg your pardon, but you are wholly in error. There isn't a particle of tobacco in that cigar. Its to easy to be mistaken, don't you see. Boston Transcript. lOV KNOW WHAT TOC ARB TAB3SQ When Ton take Grovel Tasteless Chill Ionic, because the formula I plainly printed on ever bottle showing that It Is simply Iron and Out tun In a tasteless fejrm. Ko Cur. Ne Pay. We. Raiting Taj. ' " Quinn What is all that waste pa per doing in Carter's yard? De Font That isn't waste paper. It's a great collection of seed tags. Carter fastened a tag to each seed so he would have no difficulty in know ing the variety when the flowers came. Chicago News. Piso'a Cure is tb best medicine w ever used for all affection of th throat and lungs. Wm. O. Ehdslit, Vanbureu, lud., Feb. 10, 1800. ... He Slid No Mors. Mr. Bender Great Scott! woman goes out to get When a samples she spends half a day. Mrs. Bender That's ' nothing. Why, I've known you to make a round of the sample rooms and spend half the night. Chicago News. irSfiVff.N'B PENSION IT BICKFODD. Waoklnalec D. C they will ve il reive quick replies. B. 6th N. R. Vols. 8taS ann orpa. rroaecuunf claims unc ioio. . Unswerving. "It seems to me that our fr:end has so much faith in money that he almost makes a religion of it." "I don't like the comparison. The word religion implies at least a re mote chance of back-sliding." Washington Star. BROOKLYN. K. V., Sent. S. GARFIEI.U HEADACHK POWDERS HAVE GAINED THE RIGHT OF WAV I Tbey are the kind people want simple, harmless and ALWAYSeffective. The OarSeld Tea Go. of this city will send sample powder upon request. UnfiRiihed Work. Baby May was having a bard time cutting her last teeth. One day her mother found her crying and asked her what was the matter. Little May said : "God made me but he didn't finish me. He left me to cut my toofs all by my self." Harpers' Bazar. - TO CTJRK A COLD IH 0M DAT Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablet. All lrrurgists refund the money If It falls to cur. B. W. ttrore'i signature Is on each box. 23a. Friend lets Alto. "No," he said, "I haven't anything for you." "Say, Mister," whined the beggar, "I guess you don't know how it feels to have no friends, an'" "Don't I though? I'm the official handicapper for the Ladies' Golf Tour nament." Philadelphia Press. As Ambitious Lady. Husband The doctor says if I keep up this race for money I'll break down when I am 40. - Wie Never mind ; by that time we shall be able to afford it. matism even when inherited or brought on by the excessive use of mercury. Opium, in soma form, is the basis of nearly all so-called Rheumatic Cures, which deaden the sain but do health B. a. world, aaeha The Past GUARANTEES The Future Tk Fact That St. Jacobs Oil Ht cured Ihouands of cues of . Rheumatiatn, Gout, lumbaro, Neuralcls, ScUlics. Spnlns, Bruises and oilier bodily aches and pslna las guarantee last M will cure other esses. It Is sale, sure and never hulinc Acts Ilk ntatle. . - . Conquers Pain ' Price, 95c and 50c. BOLD BT 1U, DKALBIta IN aSDlOlK. MAD6 BY TH MAKERS Or OILED ClOTCtG MASTNBNI POINTS orexctaUKt ANcm Bad nets. "Oh mamma, "cried Tommy, "Will ie's pulling the pussy's tail I" He's a very bad boy to do that," (aid mamma. "Yes, and he's 'elfish too; cause he won't let me pull it at all." Phila delphia Press. ; A WONDERFUL FENCE. Th "Anchor" Clamps Are Revolutionizing Wire Fences Nowm DaVa The surprising stride in popularity made by the "Anchor" wire fence proves that this fence has come to stay. It is used all over the United States, and it bears the test of time, which in reality ia the only convinc ing test. In the Pacific .Northwest the Portland "Anchor" Fence Co, of 742 Nicolai street, Portland, Ore., is pushing this fence and its agents are welcomed everywhere, as they bting an article which certainly is sorely needed. It is probably a fact that the "Anchor" ience satisfactorily solves the great fence question. The universal desirability of the "Anchor" felfice is understood when you come to know that it serves in the best possible manner nearly every use to which any fence can be put. The principle of clamping upright stays, rivet-tight, to the running rod makes every fence secure and durable. Never before have such economical and lasting fences been made. These "Anchor" fences are suitable for all kinds of ordinary fence pur poses and also afford a large scope in the designing of ornamental fences, tree guards, fancy gates, etc. Besides this, if a man wants to repair his old wire fence all he has to do ia to buy some of the little "Anchor" clamps and s pair of pinchers and he is prepared to make his old fence last a long time. It is worth while to send for pict ures and catalogues to the Portland "Anchor" Fence Co., 742 Nicolai St., Portland, Oregon ut eMia a r..Al F.,mn, . Father (calling from head of stairs at 11:30 p. m.) Fanny, don't you fl-iinlr .tV a Vvrtut. fimA tn trn trt hen ? 111. 1 i.r, nil. 111 . .111111 u T7 V T A lrt.n. An v x no, x uv, nr, unv vu earth keeps you up so late.' -Tit-Bits. mum thm Oomph anaf Wa Off thm tUtM. Laxative Bromo.ninlne Tablets cure a cold ia on day. .o cure, Mo Pay. Price 86 cents Near Enonjh. Teacher Now, Susie, you may construct a sentence in which the word "literary" occurs. Susie (after much thought) Lit tle Wilies' hands ' were literary black with dirt. Philadelphia Press. BROOKLTW, K. T., Sept . The seeretof th remarkable success of the Garfield Headacb Powders, manufactured here by tbe G.r Held Tea Co., lies in the fact tbat they are harmless ss well a eSectlve; .eople hav confidence in tbem. Preliminary Arrangement, Mallory After we are married, Marie, you must never hesitate to ask me when you want money. Marie No, indeed, Mallory; and I hope that you will never hesitate about giving it to me. Brooklyn Life. A Sign of Progrea. .McJigger Oh, no; it isn't a one horse town any more. Thingumbob NoT McJigger No; you remember their "Grand Dramatio Palace?" Well, they call it "the theater" now. Ruling Passion Strong In Death. "I saw Mrs. K. going into an auc tion sale last Monday. Isn't her craze for bargains extraordinary t" Yes, indeed, I believe she could die happy if she knew she would be laid out on a bargain counter and buried as a remnant." Town and Country. : Well Taught Lady I wonder who taught that parrot to swearl Dealer I don't know but I can recommend him as a mighty perfi cient and painstaking person. Wash ington Star. 1 tJ-ua ui.. Ail Lot Hil. it Cough ttrnpL Tuuw 11 ANCIENTS "WERE WISE NOT DESTITUTE OP GENIUS IN MECHANIC ARTS. I , rhey Bad Many Thlaa la Caaaaaou lie tkat VV Have Grown U toif alder tk Prod arts of Modern Skill aad avatlvae :' An official of tbs United State Pat ent Office who ta preparing a history ef that institution baa been Impressed with tbs Idea that there Is little new under the sun. Ue bas pored over vol umes of ancient lor and satisfied him self that tbs Ingenuity of moderns wss discounted by the wise men of au- tlqulty. In art, in the scleuces. In me 1 chanlcs, our boasted progress seems to him to bsvs been vastly overrated. I There Is not, be says, a slugle surgical .bandage of which examples are not seen In the awsthlngs of Bgyptlau 1 mummies. "The Patent Office Issues s 'patent for nlckebln-tbe-alot ma chine described by Herodotus." Plluy ' tells us of a copy of tb Iliad engraved en so small a piece of parebmeut that the entire work was contained In s nut Shell. Microscopes of rock crystal were found In the palsce of N I in rod. Nero bad lenaea made out of an emerald, with wblcb from a distance he watched gladiatorial contests. The Itomaus. aa Stated by Prof. Lanclanl. had storage warehouses and safety deposit vaults. Tbs ancients, according to this Pst ent office skeptic, were ss full of wis dom as tbs moderns who lgnorsntly undertook to patronise them. Their mechanical contrivances and engineer ing works were remsrkable. Archi medes discovered many scientific prin ciples which are In use uowadays. Pub lie works were of the blgbest order. The ancient Greek water supply sys tem showed every modern Improve mentsuch ss ws have acquired only within tbe past ten year. Tbe public roads of Pern were built of masonry, were twenty-fire feet wide, macadam laed with pulverised stone mixed with lime and bituminous cement and wall ed hi by walls more than six feet thick. A sort of telegraph system existed and news wis transmitted hundreds of miles In a dsy. When Peru was "dis covered" several centuries sgo Its woolen and cotton goods exceeded In fineness any similar goods produced In Europe. Plato knew that tbe earth was round; other philosophers, now forgot ten, were familiar with tbe law of gravitation. Astronomers before the! Christian era understood the rotation of planets and knew a great deal about comets. There Is reason to believe that the snclents used tbe telephone In some form, while there le a tradition In China that tbe phonograph was em ployed by rich orientals. - I Still, tbe wisdom of the anclenta bas not discouraged modern Inventors. Men of science and mechaulcal Ingenu- i Ity will continue to add to the knowl edge, the comfort and wealth of tbe world. With sll the progress that bas been made many contrivances remain j to be devised before human Ingenuity realises that Its limit bas been reached. j Immense fortune will be made by tbe Inventive geniuses of the future who .work out problems wblcb must be solved before man attains complete happiness 00 this mundane sphere. What appears Impossible to thl gen eration may be In geueral nse In tbe next generation. Matters of transpor tation, of power, of fuel, of lighting and heating engage at this time tbe atten Jon of thoughtful and resourceful men. There are many prizes to be won by the successful Inventors of the fu tureBaltimore Sun. "FROWED HINTS" AT HIM. Ill Beeent'nl Kelakbor Kcspondel with I.rlckhati. "Dlsser Illnry Green," exclaimed a eltlsen of Darktown, with bis arms and legs In splints and bis countensnce lu plasters, "sho' did bumbard me las' nlte wld brickbats." "Ax him wbut be frowed et me russ, edge Brlles," remarked Henry Green, sa be shoved bis lower Up out over bis chin. "Nebber frowed nuttln' at him," said the splinted snd plastered Darktown Its. "Well, what did be throw at your the recorder asked Henry. "He frowed hints," was tbe reply. "Ter see, Jedge Brlles, me an' dlsser nigger libs 'jlnln' rooms snd be'sa bin er frowln' hints out atter me fer de longest So las' nlte I Jest made up mer mln' dat de frowln' ob dem hint bad got ter stop. I sxed blm jest lak er Chrissbun brudder wbut be wauter be frowln' hints st me, sn' be upa an' lows dst be owned dat mouf ob hls'n. , Fnss one word brnng on snnuder sn' st de last I mout er flung er few brick bats at bis bead. But jest 'member, Jsdge Brlles, dat be frowed dem bints atter me fuss." "Brickbats for hints 1 too much lex tallonls," remarked tbe recorder, ac cording to tbe Atlanta Constitution. "I know there are s greet many people who won't take a bint, but that doesn't 'give them tbe right to pass brickbats. Some folks are very bandy to throw t brickbats and will do so quicker than you can bat your ere. Henry, you did j a great wrong to toss those bats. You wronged your neighbor, you wronged tbe hints, you wronged yourself and yon wronged the bats. I'll fine you tA .". an' naw la 1. . 1. .111.111. . , . , uu .aw .in . , i iiiii in. I. th. chain n th.i von r-an h.ln to ' 'nonni.r. for . eounia or th , populate for a couple or three weeks. Tbat Is s II tie bint, I suppose, you can tskeall right" (neen Never Discarded Old Clothe. Tbe sorting snd srranglng of the per sonal effects of tbe lae Queen Victoria was a tremendous task, says s London ! correspondent One peculiarity of her j majesty was never to discard any dross, mantle, bat or bonnet wblcb she bad ever worn, and ber wardrobe might well have been considered the most complete record of the fashion of the last sixty years In existence. An other fancy of Queen Victoria was to have everything in duplicate; two hats, two cloaks, etc., were always ordered. Her majesty had a wonderful collec tion of lace, but tbls Is not to be com pered with tbe collection of tbe Queen Dowager of Italy, said to be the best In the world. . A darky with one leg Is Just as bappy as a white man with two. tlf to th aot favor U act always full of sun.hlae, but to the sveage American girl or woman who Is obligoa to work for h.r living, sad, perhar to help others at hem, life is ttin s heavy drag in oonaaquenca of lUue Women who work, eapo)Hy thosj who arc constantly on their fet, r Monliarly liabl to the dvlomus of orgaale trcuble. aad should par ticularly heed the first ntanitaatatlona, ruoh aa baokaahe, pain In ih lower limb and lwr part of th atomacn. Irregular and painful monthly periods iu' ' A- IHaa XtXA Baxiiss, K. Bocaanaa, Oaie. falntneaa, weakness, loss ol appetite and sleep. Th young lady whoa portrait we publish herewith had all thoa symp tom, aad in addition leuoorrhoca, and waa cured by Lydla B. Pinkbam's Vegetable Compound. First, h wrote a letter to Mrs. Pinkham's let oratory at Lynn. Mans., deaoribing her trouble, received In reply accurate in struction what to do to fet well, aad now wishes her name need to eon vinos others that they may be eared as she waa, The same helping hand, free of eharge or obligation, ta eitended, to every ailing woman ia America. . If yon are atok you are foolish not to get thl valuable advice, It oota yon noth ing, and she ia sure to help yon. Dont wait until It la too late write to-day. Aa ExctpUoa. "Politeness is never wanted," re marked tbe man with Chesterfield ian manners. "Well, mister," answered the roughly-clad, weather-beaten person, "that may bo true in your part o town, but if you was in the canal boat business you'd know that there ain't anv use whatever 01 savin' please mule." Washington Star. H Would Enoy It, "Did your father used to whin you when you was a boy?" asked the youngster who had been chastiod, "Did he!" exclaimed the old gen tleman, reflectively. "In thoae days parents were made of sterner stuff, and he used to whale me with a strap." The boy eyes brightened instantly. "Colly," he cried," "I'd like to see him do it now!" Chicago Post. H Wss Sailifled. He was obviously anxious and she seemed almost willing. "I must refer you to papa," said she with a becom- 1 .1 1 1 I, 1 ' I..I f 1 . F. nluilii, , a filial "'S "'""l u.v,. ft & v ........ answer." "But I am perfectly willing to take you without any reference, " said be magnantously. Titl-uits. An Avenue ef Escape. "I'm thinking seriously of resum ing businss." "I thought you had retired perma nently." "I thought so too but I need some excuse for not attending my wife's afternoon teas." Brooklyn Life. THE IHERICftH GIRL. Is She Losing the Beauty That Was Once a National Boast? Bright eyes, rosy cheeks, sn elastic step and a good appetite are the birth right of every- American girl. These are tiie conditions that denote perfect health. But, unfortunately, every day are seen girls with pale, sallow complexions, languid, round-shouldered and listless, snd the question is often asked whether the woman of today has lost the healthy beauty which was once a national character istic. One of tbe most common afflic tions of womankind is anaemia, a watery condition of the blood. This causes untold misery and often leads to other and even more serious diseases. It can be cured, how ever, as the following interview in the Hamsburg Star-Independent will show. Miss Annie L. Beel, of No. 910 Green street, Harrisburg, Pa., who has been a sufferer from this trouble, in answer to s reporters' question, aid: "Yes, I am entirely well now but I was a very sick girl. About five years ago I had sn unnatural craving for highly seasoned food snd after that I was sfllicted with headache snd my heart would beat about twice as fast as it should. My limbs got so weak that I had to rest on every step when going up stairs. The color of my skin was like that of a dead person. My limbs, and, in fact, my whole body, would swell at times ... . . . lne wh0 ttea a comp aint was anaemia, "The doctor told me if 1 had let the disease go a few weeks longer I would have had dropsy., I was under his care for several weeks, but with little change for the better." .. "How, then, were you so completely restored to health, asked the re porter. "I had been sick for two months 1 when I began taking Dr. Willams' j Pink Pills for Pale People. In about a I week I was feeling better. The head ache left me and I began to get stronger. I took the pills for six ' weeks and became thoroughly cured. " Dr. Willams' Pink Pills for Pale People are an unfailing apeoiflo for lo comotor ataxia, partial paralysis, Bt. Vitus dance, sciatica, neuralgia, rheumatism, nervous headache, the after effects of the grip, palpitation of the heart, pale and sallow complex ions snd all forma of weakness. At all dealers or direct from Dr. Williams' Medicine Co,. Schenectady, N, Y., 60 cent per hox; sis boxes, $2.50, DoiMitle Economy, ... nr.u'il. did vou buy that book telling all shout how to scono mno in thi kitchen T Wife-Yes, I've got it, . Poo, Man-Tbst' go1. "Wh W.i?.V full of recipes telling at turkev but now to " -- . wt haven't the turkey New Yotk Weekly. Th Pluilng Aniwr. Dumlcgh There's nothing cranky about Mr. Syonexi hs's man ot sense, lie 1st Markham nattering, Dumlolgh Not bit. Folks have been saying smoking cigarettes weakened the Intellect. I asked Mr, Synnex snd he told me to keep right on; It couldn't possibly have that effect on me. Boston Tronsorlpt Not blued 1s Tim te BmM Him. "Did you see Mr. Mifklns thl morningt" asked the bookkeeper. "No." renlied the publisher, "What did he wantt" . , "He desired us to advance im u .i.m ni lortlinnminir work 'How to we a rinanoiai duov-ww. Qlasgow Evening Times. . A Kllchia Myitery. Father Cooking schools are of some use, after all. This oaks is de licious. ' Daughter Is itt I thought it would be s terrible failure, Why sot" "I told Bridget exactly bow to make it and she went and made it some other way." New York Weekly. Wouldn't Com Out. Deaoon Pecksniff Fie I I'd be ashamed to be seen coming out of a saloon. Mr. Ilardkase Oh, yes; I suppose you're proud of the fact that you al ways stay In until they put you out. Philadelphia Record. It, like trnth, only aski m bearing. WisarJ Oil Cures rain. Sarcasm Waited. Customer (to dealer) 8ay, there must have been some mistake about thoae peaches you sold me yesterday. Dealer What was the matter with thcniT "Nothing. That's just It. There were no bad ones at the bottom of the basket." "By gum, so you got them did you I picked them out for myself. Tk Bee Praeeripuaa for Malaria Chills and Fever I a bottle ol Orove'e Taateles Chill Tonlo. It I slm ily Iroa and quinine In Haelaless fcyau bo Cur. Wo fay, friotatie. A War. Mis Passay When I watched the dear old soldiers pass by I thought how splendid it must have been to have had the privilege of living right here i" the midst of tbe excit ing time of great civil war. Johnny Kreah Then you were abroad during the war, were you. Cleveland Plain Dealer. VOYAGINQ TO SUNNY CLIMES. Gam Art That May Be Had far th Asklaj. That's beautiful subject to dis cuss any time of the year, but es pecially so during the rsiny months, when a trip to' Southern California ia most delightful. The bow, when and where of the whole business is told briefly but comprehensively in a little book that would be an ornament to any library table. Ask the Pacific Coast Steamship Company to mall it from their olllco in (Seattle, Port, land, Taconia or Hpokane. Aa a work of art it's s gem. (let the book and enjoy its beauty and the story it tells. The trip may be within reach before the winter ends. Patont Proomrmd Prompt. Efficient end Sailelactnrv Servlf. Atlornev' lee not parable till patent rented, Trv us Taber A Whitman Co., -! Warder blag., Washlnston, l. C, What Mlk Take Back, Friend Hello, Mike I Off back to ould Ireland, eh. But where' your boxT Murphy Faith, an' phat would I do wid a box? Friend Why, put your clothes in, of course. Murphy Phwat I Anmegowidoutf Glasgow Times. FARM MACHINERY AND SUPPLIES. THE STAR Of STARS STEEL --4 STAR kill. Ilia ball bearing In tarn-table. Turns free 1 f to the wind. Halt bearings thrust In wheel. In. urine ihlest running qualities, and reserving g rvainsf amount ol power lor pumping, (lalvanlied after making. Cut together w ih galvanised bolts, double-nutted; no part ran rust or get loose and rattle. Weight regulator! perfaot regulation. No siiring to change tension with every ahang ol teiniairetiire, and grow weaker With age Kepairs always on hand. Tune things are worth money to TOO. Then why not boy a BTAHT MITCHELL, LEWIS STAVER CO. PORT LAM D, OKCeOM. v cyL0..Y.JL,J .Horses SESXZXX PRUSSIAN HEAVE POWOIRS, mrf.ven,n aesr mil. tot. CVItKU TMIHTV-FUUH UUUHKS. PimtllM ksvsiiv Co..M. P.rui.. OsaTi.MaMi--I have been using the Paii.m.n RasVS Pow nrtss the past e)rht months, and in that time haveenred 1 1 horses of n.avaa. 14 afdlatnnnm. mtA a .f.k.n.1. -. . , .. , , , , i m u. .1,.. ..,1. l.'xh',, . , uaa.nu lumedlea have gained a great reuntation In thla section. Baxaar Hsssuga, Newark. K. t. VJholQGOtOiBootG :t ji2SGG 7 and 8p Plrst Street, Portland, Oregon. Teleiihone, Osk lK Ml Kinds Carried in Stock. , ItallVi VWWi Ml, The Most Famous Sculptures In thi W..I.I r.ti..i.: n i tuiiu i-iiiirBijf i. urea - by Pi una. Mrs, M. C. Conner. Mrs. M. 0. Cooper, of the Royil Aoad. emy of Arts, London, Kngland, It un doubteiliy one ol the greatest living sculptor. . Ktiskin, the great artist, placed Mrs. Cooper s one of the greatest sculptor and painters of this century. Mr. Coor U sn ardent friend of Peruna and in a letter dated January 20th, written from Wash, ington, says the following: "I takt pleasure in recommending Peruna for catarrh and la grippe. I haveiuf. ercd for month snd after the us of one bottle of Peruna I am entirely well." Mrs. M. C. Cooper. Mend for a free book on catarrh en titled "Health and H.wtutv." This book i written especially for women, and will be found to be of great value to every woman. Address Dr. Ilart. man, Columbus, Ohio. m like It Golf Expert So you received ta accidental blow on the face with s golf club, oh? What were you hit with, hraasie, oleek, mashie, loiter or putter? Golf Novloe I ain't sure which, but I think by the way my note felt when I was struck that it must hav been tbs mashie sll right. Judge. A Sure ladkaii. Sherlock Holmes, Jr. Jenkint wants ma to soli his place. " Greene Why I never heard him say anything about it snd I see him every day. Sherlock Holmes, Jr. That maybe, but he want to sell it sll the sum. I called there lust evening and when I slapped s moetjuito Jenkins said it waa the first mosquito that had on the premises this summer. Bos ton Transcript. CASTOR For Infanta and Children. Thi Kind You Kara Always Bought Bears th Signature Summtr Rnolutloau . rax " ileal oy Gura ins an relief hem liqanr, opines d li S3.I T0SS.il PER Oil Basil? mad lor tb nest W day, eslliu a attractive line ol Holiday Ooods. Put lull (ar ticular semi aam and address Hi AI.BKRT lKrKlte. Slat SUlf ., Cttlra.o, Ilia SCHOOLS m COLLEGES. f aaejesW 10 A Haws mmkmmt tr Bmym MIIHmr sml mmmmml trmlatmm FmM Tmrm Oimmm St. . "" MAaffal tM MlmafMaf ffmt) tolla . . ,n r s.r... Sc. 1-IU VV HKW writing to aelvrttrs ple Jf ,,HJJv 1 3 Reat pomible to build. But material. Hestoro. portion. Hast nnlan. I,iiu.i running, aeventr yaars' esperlenoe, Mtl:llgl.l. te"!1 STAVa.it t)it let and Talor St., Portland, or JOHN POOLS, Portland, Oregon, octet Harris Strctti Can give yon the best bargains ta BuRgie, flow, holler and Kugine, Wintimill and Pumps and General Machinery. See as bsfors baying. I- . ti- p"s. 9 I M. f. BOWIlf, Coast Agent, Portland, Oregon. Catalr.ru Furnished Upon Applies tloo.