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Wednesday, May 5,2004
Oregon Daily Emerald
COMMENTARY
Editor in Chief:
Brad Schmidt
Managing Editor:
Jan Tobias Montry
Editorial Editor:
Travis Willse
EDITORIAL.
A noble line:
Reel squirrel
fishing in as
Club sport
"A squirrel leaping from bough to bough, and making the
ivood but one wide tree for his pleasure, fills the eye not less than
a lion, is beautiful, self-sufficing, and stands then and therefor
nature."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
From time to time, a new phenomenon is so culturally
significant, so attuned to the contemporary American
ethos, that anyone exposed to it recognizes instantly the
dramatic social potential it offers. Gutenburg's generation
saw the printing press; Ford's generation had the automo
bile; and our brave new world has, of course, squirrel fish
ing.
The gist of this adventurous sport is this: The "fisher
man," wielding a fly fishing rod, attaches a peanut to the
end of the line and casts the bait to attract the rodents.
Once an attracted squirrel has latched on to the nut, the
sportsman tugs on to the line until the squirrel snatches or
releases the peanut.
Clearly, squirrel fishing ranks among the most noble
natural pastimes, a tradition that will without a doubt long
outlive anyone reading this warm but ultimately insuffi
cient tribute.
Squirrel fishing, then, transcends mere sporthood; it is,
in its own right, a modem spiritual enterprise. In what can
be described best as a subtle but powerful dance between
human and squirrel, the endeavor exemplifies man's inti
mate commune with nature.
And our furry campus is particularly suited for the con
sideration of this bold, new phenomenon. Even those out
side the community recognize the school's long-standing
tradition of human-squirrel symbiosis. Jon's World o'
Squirrels, a Web site (http://www.gottshall.com/squirrels/)
created by rodent enthusiast Jonathan Gottshall that offers
squirrel-related resources, rated the University campus four
squirrels (out of five) for squirrel friendliness.
A new breed of cultural protectors has emerged on this
campus: A group of students seeking to make squirrel fish
ing an official Club sport.
Responses have been mixed.
"The reactions we get around campus are usually really
enthusiastic or really upset," explained Jason Mcllhaney,
the club's co-president.
The five-seat Club sports executive committee has de
layed, for now, sanctioning squirrel fishing as a Club sport,
citing potential ethical concerns.
"I just want to make sure that we're not doing anything
offensive to the squirrels," committee member Lauren
Anas said.
But surely the activity represents quite the opposite, that
is, an elevation of both squirrel and human as partners in a
mutually beneficial arrangement: Squirrels sate themselves
on delicious peanuts, while humans can take a brief re
prieve from the bustle of the modem world and immerse
themselves in a long-standing — and intensely personal —
natural tradition.
Better yet, about 30 students are already involved in the
club, some three times the number required to form a Club
sport.
For the enhancement of University's culture and spiritu
al health, the Emerald Editorial Board heartily encourages
the Club sports executive committee to add squirrel fish
ing to the University's fine roster of Club sports activities.
EDITORIAL BOARD
Brad Schmidt
Editor in Chief
Jan Tobias Montry
Managing Editor
Travis Willse
Editorial Editor
Jennifer Sudick
Freelance Editor
Ayisha Yahya
News Editor
Bur WHKT
THE GOVeRHrtERT
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Steve Baggs Illustrator
DIVIDED
WE STAN D
This year's presidential election should
prove interesting. The country is almost
evenly divided between Democrats and
Republicans, and analysts expect another
close race.
Voters face their starkest choice in 20
years. As expected, President Bush has
swung to the right since his Ian. 20, 2001
inauguration. From his solidly pro-in
dustrial environmental record to the
"gag" mle that withholds funds from in
ternational groups that even mention
abortion, Bush has demonstrated his al
legiance to the right wing of the Repub
lican Party.
John Kerry, for his part, earned a rank
ing as the most liberal senator in 2003
from the National Journal, a conservative
political magazine. He fits the image the
Bush administration seeks to bestow
upon him as a wealthy Massachusetts
liberal.
The outcome of the Nov. 2 election
will depend on a number of factors,
most importantly the economic outlook
and Iraq. The former looks good, the lat
ter bad.
The economy may neither help nor
hurt Bush in this election. While he will
likely be the first president since Herbert
Hoover to lose jobs during his term, oth
er economic indicators look rosier. Con
sumer confidence rose sharply in April
and the International Monetary Fund
predicts growth in the United States will
reach its fastest rate in 20 years.
Iraq presents a much greater problem:
It's falling apart. American soldiers have
lost control of Fallujah and most of the
important highways in the Sunni Trian
gle. Rarely a day goes by without news of
a roadside bomb or a cunning ambush.
Bush hopes the much-vaunted June 30
turnover of sovereignty to an Iraqi gov
ernment, whatever its form, will provide
a way out. However, it's a public relations
move conducted for the benefit of the
American electorate. The United States
Chuck Slothower
Taking issue
military will retain every meaningful
source of power.
Voters increasingly realize that the cost
of the occupation, in terms of both mon
ey and lives, is greater than what the
Bush administration led them to believe.
As much as Republicans will try to hide
the truth from voters with photography
bans and curiously timed requests for
Congressional appropriations, Ameri
cans know Iraq is going down the toilet.
Hopefully, voters will concentrate on
substantive issues and ignore the usual
political mudslinging. What makes at
tacks on character and experience so an
noying is that they're so effective.
Bush has a powerful weapon in his
charge that Kerry is a flip-flopper. What
makes it so powerful is that it's true. Ker
ry has never met a politically advanta
geous position he didn't like.
He voted to give Bush the authority to
invade Iraq, but refused to pay for the oc
cupation afterward. He voted for the
USA Patriot Act, but now criticizes it as
an encroachment on civil liberties.
The list goes on, which brings me to
Kerry's first flip-flop: Vietnam. He served
with honor and distinction in Southeast
Asia, where he commanded a small boat
and earned three Purple Hearts, a Silver
Star and a Bronze Star for his courage.
Kerry then returned to the United
States and worked actively with Vietnam
Veterans Against the War. This particular
flip-flop shouldn't bother voters.
Kerry went to Vietnam to serve his,
country, and returned horrified by the r
atrocities committed by his fellow sol
diers. He took the only honorable course
of action at that point and spoke out
against the war.
Conservatives gain nothing by alleg
ing that Kerry's first Purple Heart —
which the military awards for wounds
sustained in battle — was the result of a
mere scratch. If Kerry got shot badly
only twice instead of three times, does it
really matter?
Such attacks also attract unwelcome at
tention to Bush's record in the National
Guard during Vietnam, when he joined a
country club unit notable for its upper
crust members and skipped out on it.
Both men's Vietnam experience is ul
timately unimportant to how they would
act in office and distracts from more im
portant issues.
Kerry has pulled his punches in recent
attacks on Bush. He told Hardball's Chris
Matthews recently that weapons of mass
destruction could still be found in Iraq.
If Kerry wants to sit in the Oval Office,
he needs to quit dancing around Bush
and go for the knockout. It shouldn't be
hard to do.
Should Kerry do the unlikely and beat
Bush in November, progressives will re
joice for a short time. But they should
considered themselves warned that Ker
ry has too much Clintonian scheming in
him and will sell progressives out when
it becomes necessary. If Democrats want
ed a progressive with a backbone, they
should have nominated Howard Dean.
Ultimately, Kerry will need the stars to
align perfectly to defeat Bush. In the ad
vertising age, Bush's $187.5 million re
election fund speaks loudly.
Contact the columnist
atchuckslothower@dailyemerald.com.
His opinions do not necessarily
represent those of the Emerald.