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Couples share concerns,
benefits of cohabitation
Thoughtful planning can
help student couples
decide whether or not
to live under one roof
Tynan DeLong
Freelance Reporter
Cohabitation. The word
alone might send couples
into pre-marital paranoia.
Minds race frantically with
the idea of seeing the same
face every waking moment.
Those accustomed to Texas
sized space bubbles recoil at
the utterance of “the next
step.” Yet, year after year,
couples make the decision
to live together — and re
portedly 30 to 40 percent of
college students do also, ac
cording to a study by author
Roland Johnson, III.
Whether it means a life
time together or a nine
month lease that feels like a
lifetime, this turning point
decides the fate of many
young couples. Careful plan
ning may help couples decide
if moving in together is the
best idea.
Graduated senior Clay
Carter said he enjoys the
benefits of cohabitation.
“You’re in close proximity,
and you see them every
night,” Carter said. “As long
as you get along, it’s nice if
you have a busy schedule.”
For some students, it may
be a matter of convenience.
“If it’s an issue of having
two houses, you might as well
condense,” said graduated
senior Mark Zillmann, who
said he and his girlfriend
were always together, even
when they were living apart.
“But, it’s up to the individu
als — whether it suits the rela
tionship or not,” he added.
Not all students have good
experiences living with their
significant others.
Lane Community College
junior William Kistler said his
first live-in experience had
adverse effects on his own
personal life, and it hampered
the relationship’s progress.
“I didn’t realize it at the
time, but I was so naive,”
Kistler said. “Moving in to
gether caused me to suppress
the behavior I enjoyed when
I was alone, and consequen
tially, it caused our relation
ship to fall apart.”
If the relationship fails, the
friendship can often become
a complementary casualty.
Eugene resident Ross
Topel, wary of cohabitation’s
pitfalls, said he decided
against the big leap.
“I didn’t do it because one
of two things were going to
happen,” Topel said. “One, I
would never hang out with
or see her again because liv
ing together often does that,
and two, it would screw up
our friendship.”
Kistler said he had those
exact kinds of problems.
“I got out of the situation
the minute the lease broke,”
"You need to have
your own personal
space. When
you're living with
someone/ that
person is invading
your habitat, and
it can be
disastrous"
Ross Topel
Eugene resident
Kistler said. “I totally de
parted from our relation
ship, and we didn’t speak for
six months.”
Many blame a lack of
space as the point of con
tention for most live-in rela
tionships. For those accus
tomed to living alone,
inviting another to share the
space can lead to unmanage
able circumstances.
“It wears a couple down,”
junior Ashley Patterson said.
“Sharing the same space all
the time doesn’t leave much
room to breathe.”
Topel agreed.
“You need to have your
own personal space,” Topel
said. “When you’re living with
someone, that person is in
vading your habitat, and it
can be disastrous.”
For those living together,
however, finding a balance
can be key to a healthy liv
ing situation.
“Each person needs to
have their own space,” said
Garter. “It’s easy to get
bogged down when you don’t
allow time to yourself.”
Zillmann has similar
sentiment.
“She does her thing, I do
mine,” said Zillmann. “You
need to have two different
lives.”
Despite the drawbacks, the
number of couples cohabiting
increases each year. But,
some studies also show those
who live together prior to
marriage have higher levels of
dissolution in their relation
ships. The study by Johnson
claims “only one couple in
five who cohabitate ever ends
up getting married.”
“At all costs, people should
avoid living as a couple until
you’re married,” Kistler said.
“I think it’s self-destructive to
domesticate prematurely and
honestly, I won’t be living
with another girl until I get
married. But if you’re going to
do it, think about it first.”
Tynan DeLong is a freelance
writer for the Emerald.
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