Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012, December 03, 2002, Page 6, Image 6

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SPAGHETTI
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Value of ‘Student Body Shots’
hidden by fat jokes, crass filler
Book review
Jacquelyn Lewis
Pulse Editor
Recent Columbia University grad
uate Steve Hofstetter’s book, “Stu
dent Body Shots: a sarcastic look at
the best 4-6 years of your life,” is
worth a look. But, like college itself,
the student will have to dig through
mountains of crass, meaningless
filler to find its true pearls of wisdom.
“Student Body Shots” is supposed to
be a hilarious look at college life, but
the bulk of the humor must have
“shot” right past this reviewer.
Rider Strong, aka Shawn Hunter
from the television show “Boy Meets
World,” wrote the foreword. Strong,
Hofstetter’s Columbia classmate,
gives a surprisingly non-cliche mem
oir of his own college years thus far.
He also (thank goodness) pokes fun
at “Boy Meets World” and its
squeaky clean rendition of higher
education. He reminds us that
there’s no such thing as a “normal”
college experience.
Chapter one starts out strong as
well. Hofstetter ticks off a list of educa
tional milestones most traditional col
lege students will relate to right away.
“By the end of college, you will have
at least one hook-up that you regret,”
he writes. “You will make and break a
promise to never drink again, and you
will waste anywhere between one and
two hundred nights playing a number
of bastardized versions of Tetris. You
will invent a new recipe using Ramen
or macaroni and cheese, familiarize
yourself with the intricacies of Instant
Messenger, or learn to gamble — or a
combination of all three.”
Insert smiles and knowing nods
here.
However, those smiles quickly dis
appear as the reader encounters such
gems as, “I saw a huge woman wear
ing a shirt that said ‘USA.’ I think she
did a pretty good impression.”
Ha ha ha. Really funny. Fat jokes
— how original. Hofstetter files this
knee-slapper under the “Fashion”
chapter, but what does this have to
do with college? Perhaps the quips
about girls in tight clothing (think
tube tops and leather pants) pertain
to university life more, but they
come off like failed stand-up come
dy. Worse, they reek of misogyny.
The “Money” chapter almost
earns Hofstetter forgiveness for the
above. He poses the question, “Why
can I spend forty bucks in a bar one
night, but refrain from ordering ex
tra cheese because I don’t want to
blow the fifty cents?”
Now that’s more like it. This whole
section is smart, funny and true-to-life.
But again, Hofstetter lacks consis
tency, treating us to the rousing ditty,
“Your Fat Friend: A Student Body
Shots Song.” Hofstetter includes a dis
claimer pointing out he’s not making
fun of all fat people, only fat people
with bad personalities — from the
song’s tone, fat women with bad per
sonalities. How sensitive. Fat people
everywhere surely will rejoice.
And that’s where the frustration
comes in — the explanation of why
this review is just about as wishy
washy as “Student Body Shots” it
self. Hofstetter’s writing, when he’s
not making fun of overweight or ugly
peopie (his specialty, it seems), is
witty and engaging.
Unfortunately, students who real
ize there’s more to college than
hooking up and beer guzzling will
miss the few positive things Hofstet
ter has to offer, because they will
likely ditch “Student Body Shots”
faster than an 8 a.m. math class.
Contact the Pulse editor
atjacquelynlewis@dailyemerald.com.
Living
continued from page 5
thought it would be creepily hu
morous among friends. OK, so
maybe I’m the only one who found
UNIVERSITY OF OREGON
BOOKSTORE
Meet WWF Wrestler & Author
Rowdy”
Roddy Piper ,
Doc’s Pad Sports Bar
Wednesday, December 4
7:00 p.m. • Free
George N<
The creative options
are as endless as your
imagination.
it amusing. The point is, you can
use just about anything. For my
second attempt, I used a drawing
of a sailor tattoo from the 1910s.
The more artistically inclined
might draw something themselves.
I thought about it, but laziness
won out in the end.
I taped the images onto blank
paper and ran off as many copies
as I could afford. Black-and-white
copies cost around five cents at
most copy centers. Color copies
cost 99 cents at Kinko’s. You also
have the option of selecting col
ored or textured paper instead of
basic white to further personalize
your stationery.
I cut the paper down from 8 .5
by-11 inches to a more stationery
appropriate size after it was run
off. I stuck with basic rectangular
shapes, but you can choose from a
plethora of polygons and animal
shapes if you so like.
The creative options are as end
less as your imagination. The im
portant thing is that you have gen
erated something that is your own,
and that you put as much effort
into your words as you put into
your paper. Your new pen pal will
thank you.
Contact the Pulse columnist
at nikacarlson@dailyemerald.com. Her
opinions do not necessarily represent
those of the Emerald.
15407
GER 407 Experimental Poetry, 04 credits
Exclusively for undergraduates.
MW 17:00- 18:20, K. Calhoon
SCAN 352 War and Peace, 04 Credits
Satisfies Arts and Letters requirement.
UH 12:00- 13:20, V.Zuck
SCAN 410 20th-Century Gender Politics
04 Credits
UH 14:00 - 15:20, L. Wallenberg
For more information, call the Germanic Language & Literature Department.
346-4051