sesiio V\X't°U SPAGHETTI <& garlic bread $350 Every Tuesday PIZZA 2506 Willakenzie 344-0998 flztQIQ Pin721 2673 Willamette 484-0996 27th and Willamette 015415 541-729-1282 Participate in Bridge Week in North America, January 6-12, 2003 c$>f\Qre uTliracle become ^bn Mgg Venor C70 1 he Fertility Center of Oregon has J helped many couples achieve pregnancy since 1978. We are in need of Egg Donors to help infertile women. Procedures are done in a pleasant local environment over a period of only six weeks, and donors are compensated $2500 for their time. If you are a healthy woman age 21-31 and are interested, call 683-1559 or visit our website at www.WomensCare.com. Value of ‘Student Body Shots’ hidden by fat jokes, crass filler Book review Jacquelyn Lewis Pulse Editor Recent Columbia University grad uate Steve Hofstetter’s book, “Stu dent Body Shots: a sarcastic look at the best 4-6 years of your life,” is worth a look. But, like college itself, the student will have to dig through mountains of crass, meaningless filler to find its true pearls of wisdom. “Student Body Shots” is supposed to be a hilarious look at college life, but the bulk of the humor must have “shot” right past this reviewer. Rider Strong, aka Shawn Hunter from the television show “Boy Meets World,” wrote the foreword. Strong, Hofstetter’s Columbia classmate, gives a surprisingly non-cliche mem oir of his own college years thus far. He also (thank goodness) pokes fun at “Boy Meets World” and its squeaky clean rendition of higher education. He reminds us that there’s no such thing as a “normal” college experience. Chapter one starts out strong as well. Hofstetter ticks off a list of educa tional milestones most traditional col lege students will relate to right away. “By the end of college, you will have at least one hook-up that you regret,” he writes. “You will make and break a promise to never drink again, and you will waste anywhere between one and two hundred nights playing a number of bastardized versions of Tetris. You will invent a new recipe using Ramen or macaroni and cheese, familiarize yourself with the intricacies of Instant Messenger, or learn to gamble — or a combination of all three.” Insert smiles and knowing nods here. However, those smiles quickly dis appear as the reader encounters such gems as, “I saw a huge woman wear ing a shirt that said ‘USA.’ I think she did a pretty good impression.” Ha ha ha. Really funny. Fat jokes — how original. Hofstetter files this knee-slapper under the “Fashion” chapter, but what does this have to do with college? Perhaps the quips about girls in tight clothing (think tube tops and leather pants) pertain to university life more, but they come off like failed stand-up come dy. Worse, they reek of misogyny. The “Money” chapter almost earns Hofstetter forgiveness for the above. He poses the question, “Why can I spend forty bucks in a bar one night, but refrain from ordering ex tra cheese because I don’t want to blow the fifty cents?” Now that’s more like it. This whole section is smart, funny and true-to-life. But again, Hofstetter lacks consis tency, treating us to the rousing ditty, “Your Fat Friend: A Student Body Shots Song.” Hofstetter includes a dis claimer pointing out he’s not making fun of all fat people, only fat people with bad personalities — from the song’s tone, fat women with bad per sonalities. How sensitive. Fat people everywhere surely will rejoice. And that’s where the frustration comes in — the explanation of why this review is just about as wishy washy as “Student Body Shots” it self. Hofstetter’s writing, when he’s not making fun of overweight or ugly peopie (his specialty, it seems), is witty and engaging. Unfortunately, students who real ize there’s more to college than hooking up and beer guzzling will miss the few positive things Hofstet ter has to offer, because they will likely ditch “Student Body Shots” faster than an 8 a.m. math class. Contact the Pulse editor atjacquelynlewis@dailyemerald.com. Living continued from page 5 thought it would be creepily hu morous among friends. OK, so maybe I’m the only one who found UNIVERSITY OF OREGON BOOKSTORE Meet WWF Wrestler & Author Rowdy” Roddy Piper , Doc’s Pad Sports Bar Wednesday, December 4 7:00 p.m. • Free George N< The creative options are as endless as your imagination. it amusing. The point is, you can use just about anything. For my second attempt, I used a drawing of a sailor tattoo from the 1910s. The more artistically inclined might draw something themselves. I thought about it, but laziness won out in the end. I taped the images onto blank paper and ran off as many copies as I could afford. Black-and-white copies cost around five cents at most copy centers. Color copies cost 99 cents at Kinko’s. You also have the option of selecting col ored or textured paper instead of basic white to further personalize your stationery. I cut the paper down from 8 .5 by-11 inches to a more stationery appropriate size after it was run off. I stuck with basic rectangular shapes, but you can choose from a plethora of polygons and animal shapes if you so like. The creative options are as end less as your imagination. The im portant thing is that you have gen erated something that is your own, and that you put as much effort into your words as you put into your paper. Your new pen pal will thank you. Contact the Pulse columnist at nikacarlson@dailyemerald.com. Her opinions do not necessarily represent those of the Emerald. 15407 GER 407 Experimental Poetry, 04 credits Exclusively for undergraduates. MW 17:00- 18:20, K. Calhoon SCAN 352 War and Peace, 04 Credits Satisfies Arts and Letters requirement. UH 12:00- 13:20, V.Zuck SCAN 410 20th-Century Gender Politics 04 Credits UH 14:00 - 15:20, L. Wallenberg For more information, call the Germanic Language & Literature Department. 346-4051