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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (April 5, 2001)
Stupid world news By Mike Pingree TMS Campus Sorry to bother you again A bandit robbed a Chevron sta tion in Albuquerque, N.M., and then ran to his getaway car where he discovered, to his dismay, that he had lost the keys. The clerk was talking to the cops on the phone when the frantic robber ran back into the office to look for them. Then the police came, and the guy just gave up. So, what did you learn in school today? North Bergen, N.J., High School students played a sex game in the classroom, apparently out of the sight of the teacher, who was sit ting at her desk doing paperwork the whole time. At least nine kids engaged in various sex acts during a game of “Truth Or Dare,” and, at one point, their giggling attracted the attention of the teacher who came down the aisle and asked what they were doing. They stopped, but resumed the game as soon as she went back to her desk. She has been suspended. A leader who knows where he’s headed Greg Ritchey, a Green Party can didate for city council in Colum bus, Ohio, scheduled a press con ference at City Hall, then got lost trying to find the building. As re porters waited for him, he went in stead to the Ohio Statehouse, wow iron Community Center (or the Performing Arts 8th & Lincoln ■ Tonight ■ Leon Redbone, American Curiosa $17 advanced, $19 door, 8:00 pm 1 Friday 1 lonatha Brooke, vmh Elise Coakley Singer-Songwriter $18 advance, $20 door, 8:00 pm ■ Saturday ■ Los Mex Pistols del Norte, The Darned. 011455 Fast Eddie £ the Screamers $7 door, 9:00 pm ■ Sunday ■ Dr. Stans Science Circus Benefit for River Road Elementary School Sliding Scale, $5 to $10 at door, 3:00 pm ■ Wednesday ■ D.O.A., D.I., Streetwalkin’ Cheetahs Punk Rock $10 advance, $10 door, 730 pm All Ages Welcome • 687-2746 where he wondered where every body was. Finally, a reporter called him on his cell phone and gave him directions. Equal schmequal; come here, baby! Passengers on a flight from Stockholm to the United States said that Sweden’s gender-equality expert, Lars Back, got good and drunk and then harassed the stew ardesses. One witness said, “He was insolent, and his behavior to wards the women of the cabin crew was abusive.” Beck topped off the episode by vomiting into the lap of Margareta Winberg, the nation’s female equality minister, who is his boss. Stop counting us; I mean it! Blam! A Bedouin shepherd was shot to death as he slept outdoors in Marsa Matrouh, Egypt, when one of his sheep knocked over his loaded shotgun, causing it to dis charge. Now, you be nice to the little lady, boys A Texas deputy sheriff is going to become the first lawman from the Lone Star State to undergo a sex change operation. His boss says that the officer will be al lowed to keep his job during the three-year process and has ordered the other deputies not to make fun of him. "1 686-2458 ^ 492 E. 13th Ave VOLUNTEER your talents for a few hours a week and get to see free movies'! Call for details _or Email us at bgouepond.net Rent the Bijou any morning or afternoon for parties, etc. OliUlAN Oak Ahthonv Lauda Ebic lAwtttBSQti Avkboyd LaPaclia Lihmev Stoltz CWINNEH BEST ACTRESs\ tOSS RRITISH IRDLM.ROIHT FILM A WARMS M C WINNER BEST ACTRESs\ VULAGC VOICE MIA CRITICS WU iwcKtsr ratimu MAGNIFICENT! ONE OF THE VERY BEST OF THE YEAR!" _ I THE HOUSE OF MIRTH 6:10 il 9:00pm Nightly - Sun Wat 3:10pm isa MUST END THURSDAY, APRIL 12thl! “TWO BIG THUMBS UP!” EO HARRIS MARCIA L >;jwpm Nightly - Sun Mat 2:30pm Soon: Mo You Thom In The Mood FINEST AMERICAN FILMS RELEASED THIS YEAR!” (B New & Used Vinyl’s CD’s & Tapes 258 E. 13th Eugene 342-7975 JOSEPH LIN MIGUEL HARTH-BEDOYA Conductor THURSDAY, APRIL 12, 8 PM Brahms' sweeping concerto reigns supreme among the masterworks for violin—moving, thrilling, lyrical. And Stravinsky's famous ballet score lets the Steinway shine in the largest orchestral role for piano. Petrouchka dances with the exuberant colors and rhythms of a Russian carnival where puppets come to life. Brahms Violin Concerto in D Major Stravinsky Petrouchka TICKETS: 682-5000 OR EMU Starts at 9:00 pm tonight. FIND THING! IN ODE CLASSIFIED! (ROOMMATES, TICKETS, STUFF YOU LOST, BICYCLES, CARS, JOBS, ON-CAMPUS OPPORTUNITIES) 686-1166 •Delivery charges may apply •Not valid with any other offers •PLEASE mention the student special when ordering
